


oh, baby girl (그녀는 예쁜 요리사이다)

by onlywheniwalkaway



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, An Attempt is made, Arranged Marriage, Cliche, Cooking, Domestic Fluff, EXO are grumpy old men in this story, Especially Yixing, Explicit Consent, F/M, Older Man/Younger Woman, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Whipped Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:55:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 155,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27683192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlywheniwalkaway/pseuds/onlywheniwalkaway
Summary: he was going to die a virgin, but his parents intervened, and now he had to tend to his wife who was 13 years younger than him.
Relationships: Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Original Character(s), Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Original Female Character(s), Kim Minseok | Xiumin/Song Ji-Hyo
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old F/M Wattpad story of mine. I thought I should share it here anyway. 
> 
> NOTE: It's old (2018-2019), so expect cheesy cliches and dumb side plots.

**🍀**

****

**🍀**

_He was having a good cup of bittersweet cappuccino beautifully prepared by his wife. A phrase he'd never thought he'd had to come across at this time of his life._

_"Oppa," a small voice chirped from behind._

_"Yes, Jayoung-ah?" He answered the call without looking up from his cup._

_The girl had just got out of the kitchen and placed a bowl of kimbap in front of him. Despite a girl her age, she could cook very well._

_"Why didn't you come to bed last night?"_

_He spewed everything up over the table._

**🍀**

**Jayoung |** **자영**

**Age: 17**

**Korean Age: 19**

****

**Minseok | 민석**

**Age: 30**

**Korean Age: 32**

****

**🍀**

This was one of the most conflicting moments of her life.

On one hand, she didn't have to deal with other guys trying to get to her now. This would be a thing of the past. For most of her life, she was trying so hard to not be in a relationship, for she feared its potential of ruining her dreams. Well, the idea of being in a relationship wasn't that bad. It was the partner she afraid of. She was afraid of the person who was supposed to love her and care for her ignored her dreams, pushed her to do other things, and distracting her from her goals.

On the other hand, she got married to a stranger. Should this even be a difference from the conditions above?

As she stood there swaying in the arms of the older man who was shyly staring down at her expectantly to see if she hated it or was okay with it, the girl thought back to the golden times when her parents broke the news to her in such an abrupt manner.

Like always, she had no say in anything. This was a serious family manner. After her sister passed away tragically a few years back, there was no one to hold the bargain of the promise her family had made during a time of desperate need. She understood the importance of it which was why she advocated that her sister did it since she was the older sister, but instead of mourning the loss with great sadness, her family swirled into chaos. Without a marriage bond between the two families, there could devastation in the coming years, stated the fortuneteller.

However, there was something she could do and had done to at least secure one chance of freedom.

"Jayoung-ah?" The silky voice pierced her ears with clarity. "You're dazed. You should take a seat."

Secretly, she desperately wanted to find that heartless and ruthless thing in the man, so she would find it easier to hate the man, but there was none. The concern in his voice was real and genuine, and she knew that after 3 years waiting tables in restaurants. The emotions, the actions, and the facial expression all corresponded closely with one another.

"Here. Drink up. You have school tomorrow." They said he was thirty – 13 years older than her. The man was a little more than a decade older than her, yet he managed to look like he was in his mid-twenties. Was it because of blond hair or the stylist cut? Was it makeup covering his face? But she couldn't smell any kind of weird foundation from his skin. "I mean, you don't have to go to school tomorrow, but if you want to... It's up to you."

"Thank you, oppa..." The girl quietly whispered to him since he was inches from her face. It wasn't his fault that the music was a bit too loud for their likings. "Tomorrow is Sunday."

The older almost choked on his own drink while the girl was downing her water peacefully. When he turned back to her, there was a permanent scarlet blush on his doll looking face.

_Wow, really no makeup._

"Yeah, of course."

She just sat there watching the man lightly hitting his own chubby cheeks probably for the confusion he had and realized something important. This was one of the first proper conversations she had with him. The man was now her husband. Would it be cheesy if she were to cry out and shout that she was too young to get married?

"Oh, is there something on my face?" The man suddenly caught her staring, but she didn't shy away from the clueless confrontation.

Those pinkish lips puckered up along with the confusion in the facial expression. They brought her back to just hours ago when she walked down the aisle towards the man who seemed to be so far away from her. Like magnets, they were drawn to each other by force and they had to deal with that. If she remembered rightly, there was something in his eyes she had noticed as she approached him on that altar.

"Nothing, oppa. Just curious about when we get to go home." Jayoung replied coolly. Feeling spilled water dripping down her chin, she used her pinky to wipe the moisture off.

"Ah, I'll ask my uncle about this." He listened to her so attentively; it was extremely hard to not find that adorable. The man jogged towards an unknown figure to her. After all of these months, she still hadn't remembered all of her husband's relatives. Unlike her, he probably knew everyone in her family already.

She loved her sister. There was no denying the love she had for the older girl, but making her younger sister marry the man she was supposed to marry was a little too much, and Jayoung found it extremely hard to justify this situation.

"He said we could leave now if you want. It's nearing the end anyway." There was urgency in his steps. The fact that he listened to her and hurried back to report to her this news made her feel important. For once.

"Then I want to leave." His brows twitched upwards for a split-second when she told him. "I can't stand any longer."

She kept her gaze on the older man and he looked restrained after hearing those words. He was silent and standing next to her sitting there at one of the guest's tables. Then he swallowed, what seemed to her, words that wanted to leave this throat. He really looked like a prince standing that way, towering over her.

"Oppa. I meant that I can't stand. I'm tired and sore. I need some help." She really didn't mean to sound bland and hurtful, but she was just too exhausted to show any emotions or interest in the things happening around her.

"Oh- oh! Of course." Once again, the man appeared to be flushing red at her comment and proceeded to hold on to her hand and drape it over his wide shoulder, helping her leave the table and hopefully the place for a more comfortable one.

She thought that a serious businessman like him would get what a teenager said, but she guessed not.

"Hmm?" He hummed in question as he strapped the seatbelt over her body. It was a long time and there was some annoying interference along the way, but they pulled through and made it to the parking lot.

Jayoung had giggled at the mere thought of the older man misinterpreting everything she said.

"Nothing, oppa. Nothing."

"Okay. Let's head home."

And with that, they headed to his place with the car plastered with _Just Married_ stickers and a big bow on top of it.

A small thought at the back of her mind prayed that being in this wedding dress was just a dream.

**🍀**

This house was a bit too spacious for her likings, but it was expected from the Kims; they were strict about how they appeared to the world.

As she waited for the two eggs to fry in the pan in front of her, she looked around the unfamiliar place. It was big, but it was lonely. The cold color of grey, silver, and white evoked a feeling of melancholy and loneliness in her eyes. The man didn't even bother decorating his home space. He did seem house-proud at the first glance, but being clean didn't justify the lack of artistic taste. It looked robotic and chilling.

But it made sense.

He was alone in this house, and he was never really home anyway. He was always busy with his work, she thought.

Jayoung let her imagination run wild, looking at the tired old man who had just returned home from work walking towards the big comfy couch with no stamina left. He would leave his sweat-stained suit and tie on, accidentally falling asleep. He would forget that he had a much more spacious bedroom with a better duvet. The vegetables and fruits were never touched. At the end of the month, he would throw away the expired and spoilt food in the fridge. All of these meaningless acts and he would this over and over and over again.

The smell of cooked eggs filled her nose, prompting her to put out the plates. While she was preparing the tables, she heard a door creaking and footsteps approaching.

"Oh, you're awake? I thought you'd oversleep." He was wearing his tie over his blue dress shirt. Probably a meeting? Right after the wedding?

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I couldn't sleep in a place I'm not familiar with."

"You were awake the whole night?" The fact that his eyes were bulging out was funny to her.

"No, I did sleep for a few hours."

It was 8 a.m. She had spent her unrestful hours cleaning up and exploring the whole house. There were movements in the corner of her eyes, and she noticed the older man being very restrained while he was dressing up. She imagined a time when she wasn't here and he was doing whatever he wanted without eyes staring at him.

"Oppa, have something before you go." She let out a deep sigh and smiled at him.

He looked amused and shocked.

"Is that coffee?" The man slowly approached the kitchen table.

"Yes, but I haven't put in any sugar." She had been drinking from the coffee machine as she walked around the house and she did care to leave some for the older.

"Um, then 2 sugars, please?" He dragged the chair quite reluctantly and sat down cautiously.

She gave him a small nod and reached for the sugar, mixing the beverage for him. "Bibimbap, fried eggs, and rice. I wanted to make something different, but there weren't many choices in the fridge."

"Thank you for the food. I'll eat well." His voice was very quiet. His eyes were warm as he gazed at the food in front of him.

Again, the man never failed to surprise her with his childlike manners. Eating timidly and quietly. The man was unsure if he should make eye contact. There was hesitation in his every move.

Once in a while, he would turn away after taking a bite or sip from the food and drink.

Jayoung didn't question any of the actions. She just hoped that he didn't recoil from the cooking she had done for him. The girl rarely cooked for anyone since nobody in her family cared to eat her food.

"It's okay to leave if you have to." He seemed too shy and afraid to say no to her face, so she chose for him early.

"No, no. I- It's not the company. I have to meet up with your parents. Alone." His voice went a little dry at the last words there. "They needed a word with me."

"I have a party today." She just dropped the bomb like that in his face right after his reply.

"Are there any booze?" Was an immediate response.

"No, oppa. We're all minors. It's just a group celebration of the success of a project we had." She could hear him scolding himself for not thinking ahead. Sitting there watching the man eat, she rested her head on the palm of her hand. "I'll be back before 5 o'clock this evening. Just thought you should know."

It was a habit in her family to report your whereabouts to everyone even though they clearly didn't care that much about her. She learned to be very informative.

Unbeknownst to her, the older seemed lost in her answers when he hit the fork on his plate, creating a loud clank in the process. That made her shook her head out of surprise and made him embarrassed once again.

Something interesting happened when she looked down.

Everything was swept clean from the plate, but the coffee. He ate everything, but he kept digging in without knowing it.

"I'm sorry. That was rude." He quickly bowed to the wide-eyed girl. "Thank you for the food."

When the man disappeared into his room, she looked back at the empty plates in front of her.

"I'll probably be later than you so... Um." Suited up and ready, he held onto his briefcase tightly.

"You should drink some water." She rushed to fill a glass of water for him. How could she miss something as simple as that?

It looked like he was about to protest, but she beat him to it. The glass was in front of his face, and it was rude to not accept the glass offered in for you.

"Thank you. Uh, bye."

"Bye. Safe drive."

Jayoung watched him bumped into the wall, fumbled with the doorknob, struggled to get it open, and left.

**🍀**

"You heard me, boy!?" Mr. Cha had called him in for a one on one after his nice conversation with his new mother-in-law, seeing that it was time for him to meet the father-in-law.

"Yes, sir." Minseok firmly and willfully (forcefully, as well) accepted the terms and conditions his father-in-law had to offer. Then again, it was just basic human decency. Anyone in the right mind would naturally know what to do and what not to do.

"You will not, I repeat, _**will not**_ **,** _**must not, cannot**_ touch her until she's 20 years old. No funny business, Minseok-shi." The first time Mr. Cha used that ending to refer to him as a stranger to the family. "We may have made you get together, but that doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want."

Minseok kept his eyes on his knees, kneeling in front of the elderly scolding him for something he hadn't done or intended to even think about doing. The girl was a minor who now focusing on finishing high school. He was an old businessman or business consultant rather. This wasn't a good match – clearly not better than the former one.

Their honeymoon phase was pushed back for 5 months as the girl would finish high school then. And of course, his father-in-law made sure that just because they were living in the same house or the honeymoon was coming up in months couldn't justify him touching her. Husband and wife didn't come first, and that was for the best.

"I have only one daughter left."

The man clenched his fists and clawed at his smooth black dress pants.

It was always suffocating when Soyoung was brought up. The disappointment in her eyes was all he ever remembered as he met up with the woman, and it existed reasonably so. He never meant anyone harm. In fact, he was against this as much as the woman was. Being alone was something he thought he could pull off. It wouldn't change many people's lives he first considered, but all of it came to bite him in the ass. He ended bringing more pain to people than the peace he initially hoped to achieve.

If he had just found someone from the start, things wouldn't have been so bad.

"So, you best behave, Son-in-law." A stern voice the towering figure said to him, but there was a tone shift at the end - something about trust and hope. "Take care of her well." It looked his father-in-law wanted to say more but swallowed the words stuck in his throat. It could probably be more about something threatening. "Take care of her."

On his silent ride home, Minseok thought solemnly about what was to come in this marriage. Should he try? Another thought came to his mind, bringing him back to that early morning with his wife. For the first time, she cooked for him. Cooking was a thing of the past for him. It had been very long since he had a proper meal at home.

_Aish! So embarrassing!_

The man recalled his daydream during his meal, looking dazed, and managing only a weak reply.

The lights startled him when he opened the front door. For a second, he thought that there were intruders and his heart started pumping more blood to kick him into protective gear, but there weren't any sort of burglaries or crimes happening – just a small girl curled up on the couch falling asleep with an open math book above her chest.

12:35 read the hands of the clock, hanging just above his head.

Normally he would start taking off his jacket and loosen his tight uniform, but at that moment he just stood there and stared at the fragile-looking body just meters away. Her dark chestnut hair bunched around her face messily. Her cherry lips were slightly parted. Her right hand dangled from the couch while her left was holding the textbook open against her chest. Her slender and limp legs bend slightly due to the couch's length.

After a few minutes of blank stares, Minseok shook his head and headed straight to the kitchen which was a little further to the left where there was a note along with plates of food on the table.

**This is what I made with my classmate for the party and I brought leftovers, so we can have that for breakfast for tomorrow. You can eat it now if you want. Just put them in the fridge after you're done.**

The handwriting was a bit sloppy and rushed, but that wasn't what stunned him.

_You_ _**will not, must not, cannot** _ _touch her._

Suddenly, Minseok felt the need to pick her up and put her in bed where it was more comfortable, but that would mean him getting his head cut off.

The girl seemed not exactly friendly or hostile. Just neutral. And as Minseok tried to figure out if that was a good thing, there was something else lighting up in his mind. Maybe they could at least get along with one another like friends sharing the same roof. Or maybe that was just her in the first few days. She would probably grow to resent him as her sister did.

Either way, he was going to treasure these meals while they lasted.

**🍀**

She stared at the clock and tilted her head questioningly. It was 7 a.m. and the man was still in his room. An odd thing to occur especially since he was known to wake up very early and would get ready by this hour.

His room was upstairs; the gray door looked intimidating, but the man never once was.

Then again, it'd only been 12 days.

Not a lot was revealed by anyone. It'd been very quiet in the house. She was always out at school while he was always out at the company. They did meet frequently at night due to his late arrivals. Their conversation at the dining table had been uneventful; it mostly included awkward silences with the occasional loud crunching.

"Oppa?" Firm knocks on the door.

"Ne?" A weak but deep voice on the other side answered her call.

"Oh, I'm just checking if you're still here." Honestly, she didn't expect his answer at all, but it made sense; he was an early bird. "Umm, do you have work today?"

"Not for me, no."

"Okay, I got kimchi soup downstairs."

It was a Saturday. Clearly a holiday for her, and since there were no group projects at the moment, all she had to do was stay home all day, read, and cook something.

She was reading one of the many fantasy novels she had bought with her own money months ago when she heard footsteps approaching. The man was wearing a white sleeveless shirt and some loose shorts. A holiday, perhaps? She had no idea how his job worked exactly, but being a consultant sounded quite complicated for her. Having to give personal lectures to strangers with lots of money could be very daunting; plus, the man seemed like he worked every single day – at least to the clients' calls.

"I see the fridge is almost empty." The space around them echoed every word loud enough for them to hear.

He had looked in the fridge for his cold water and noticed the emptiness of it. She turned to him with his back facing her. There was no irritation in his voice, so that could be a good thing.

"You cook a lot."

"I like cooking."

She decided that maybe it was time for them to talk like normal adults even though she wasn't one. After all, neither could go on living in the house without talking to each other. That would be draining and straining for one another, she concluded. One of them could end up feeling guilty and that wasn't her intention; this was no one's intention – not the two of them at least.

"This is delicious. Thank you for the meal." The older smiled genuinely; she could tell. It was kind of nice. "Maybe, you can pick what to fill in the fridge."

"Oh? I can do the grocery shopping?" She didn't think her voice would be a bit higher than normal, but she knew as soon as she paused. "I mean it's your fridge."

"It's fine. I have no idea what to do with it, and I don't really cook that much." It sounded like mocking laughter when it came out of his mouth. The man looked down at his empty plate. "Mom and dad usually come to restock it, and I don't do anything with the stuff in there – wasted a lot of food."

Her lips parted slightly at the confession. She knew that without him telling her, but for him to her personally like that was something she didn't expect.

"But can I ask you something?" His eyes were a lot livelier than the other days. It was good to know he got some much-needed sleep.

"Ne?"

"What do you want to do as a career?"

Of course, her father had noted that this man would be responsible for her college tuition and other expenses. Hesitation was prominent and clearly, he could see it in her gestures as well.

"I want to run a restaurant." Looking straight forward at the gray wall, she was afraid she would be judged again. Or maybe even worse he wouldn't support her for that.

There were a few seconds of silence and the man leaned down to rest his chin on his hand.

"I don't..." he leaned back once more, staring at her. "Okay, you want to enter a cooking school? Or study in college then run a business..."

"I want to take liberal arts and run a restaurant."

"Hmm, I don't know much about that, but I'll ask my friend for some good cooking school." He was tapping on his phone and looked up at her again. "And what subject you want to learn?"

"Korean literature. Maybe I can teach and build up some network that way."

He nodded slowly and gave her a side smile. "That's good."

The girl watched walked off with his plates and came back with another glass of water. This couldn't be it. He didn't ask anything else besides that? Looking at him staring at her with such innocent eyes got thinking. What was going on in his head when he just asked her that?

"What is it?"

"Um, you don't mind that I want to do that?"

Suddenly, the soft glance was gone and he just sat there with a strange and intense look. "No. Not at all."

Sighing a relief, she gazed at him with a soft and dreamy smile on her face. "You know, you're the first person that eat my food."

His eyebrows slightly raised at the revelation.

"I mean you're not the first one I cook for, but my parents didn't want me to cook." She then let out an unintentionally loud giggle. "And you ate everything up. I feel flattered."

At once, he choked on water and tried to recover gracefully. "Uh- It's- well, you cook delicious food."

"So, should we go to the grocery store?"

"Oh?"

"Maybe you can tell me your favorite food and I can cook that for you. Oh! Can I use the kitchen for learning as well? That would mean we have to buy other stuff."

"Of course, you can use the kitchen, so today we go, I suppose?" His voice was a little pitchy, but that was probably him just drinking water.

"Ne!" She was excited to pick up some more ingredients for her cooking and noticed his unfocused gaze on her. "Is there something wrong?"

It was curious to see the man shaking his head so violently, but she didn't care. She didn't know if that was just the nature of his profession, being a consultant, and being great with words – giving advice. One thing she was sure of him that he was someone different.

**🍀**

He gave the girl a sideways glance, and all she did was leaning on the comfortable-looking headrest and having her eyes closed the entire ride. The man did dread this moment that they had to be close in a more confined space and endure the terrible, horrible awkward silence. Well, he could turn on the radio, but that could also them handling any weird songs with out-of-this-world lyrics for him. Miraculously, it wasn't too tense. It was a Zen-type of silence.

As he waited for the light to go green, the fact mused him. For once, he liked the silence. The quietness of the moment. A stillness that seemed to never go away.

For once, he found silence peaceful.

"Oppa, do you like it sweet or salty?"

"Salty."

Minseok strolled the cart behind obediently while she was taking her time to analyze all of the things she was going to buy. In some way, he found this to be relaxing. Of course, it was a bit of a drag when she stayed in one section for too long, but he decided to check out whatever caught his eyes, keeping himself busy.

When she finally moved on to another section, he got stuck with another person's cart and had to wait for them to get out of the way. It was then someone else caught him.

"Omo! Minseok-shi!" A familiar friendly voice called out to him.

How could he forget that he could run into people in the supermarket?

"Oh, Sehun-shi!" He bowed deeply despite the taller man was younger.

"I didn't know you go grocery shopping."

Minseok mentally agreed with his colleague. "Ah, well, you see me now." A nervous laugh left his lips when it got to him that he might lose Jayoung. The supermarket was a big place, and like Sehun implied, he hadn't been in this place for so long, it was frightening.   
His youthful look and the stylist 'casual' clothing really put the older to shame. "You're stocking up for the month, huh? Hmm, you're with someone?"

Sweats were forming bricks on his forehead. The marriage was for close relatives only. Besides, it was sort of not an official one yet, for the girl was a few months short of turning 18; therefore, they married in tradition but hadn't signed any legal papers yet. Their parents didn't say anything about revealing it to anyone; that could mean he could just say it.

"I- Uh-"

A loud ringing interrupted their small chat. "Hello. Yeah, sure. Be right there." Sehun brought his phone to his chest and muttered "Sorry, gotta go. See you tomorrow."

The stress on his shoulders was immediately alleviated, and the man breathed out a deep sigh. He wasn't ready to say anything just yet. The girl probably didn't want to say anything at all, he sensed.

When he finally spotted the girl in a huge Saturday crowd, she was with another boy. Ah, the joys of meeting people in the supermarket. He slowed down and decided to watch from afar while pretending to be interested in a piece of beef loin.

They were enjoying their conversation and seemed to be bouncing off jokes. Teenager jokes, he was anxious about. That smile.

The girl locked eyes with him and that shook him out of a trance as she was trudging back to him after bidding farewell to the boy.

"Sorry, that was my old friend who moved back to town." She carried with her packages and bags of vegetables and stacked them on top of the many things threatening to fall off the cart if not careful.

The ride back home was more or less the same. This time around, though, she was tapping on her phone excitedly. Probably that out of town boy was texting her. Swallowing a yawn back in his throat, he thought how they were once in a close relationship. And if his aunt had taught him anything about romance was childhood friend was a plus in falling in love. They looked so much better together. Here he was, robbing their happiness.

"Oppa, you passed the driveway. Look, a car's in there." He stopped the car on the side of the hill instead of reversing it and walked out to see who was there.

A full head of blonde hair, eerily having similar a shade as his, was waiting in front of his door.

"Hello, you're back home, Minseok-sunbae."

Minseok responded with a silent stare.

"I heard the news I'm extremely sorry for your loss." She looked so normal with her big sweater and miniskirt and reserved; it was uncanny for him to take in.

He again stared blankly at her.

"I'm just here to-"

"You're here for anything, but that. Leave."

She looked surprised and wavered a little before regained her composure. "She was a very good person. She-"

"You don't get to say anything about her. Leave or I'll make you."

In five minutes, his car was in his own driveway again. Helping Jayoung with the grocery, he heard a stifled voice behind his back. All movements he made felt stiff all of a sudden.

"What is it?"

"Can I ask who that was?"

He held himself for a moment, clutching the bags extra tightly in his hands. "A stranger."

The rest of the day was spent cooking and cleaning the whole house. She was, of course, occupied with the ingredients and food, so he did the spring cleaning all by himself. It was when he stepped into his study that he realized something.

The delicious food was waiting for him once dinner time arrived. He watched in amusement at the girl who marveled at her own craft and ate happily on the other of the table as if he didn't exist.

That night he dreamt of himself becoming overweight once more after eating the girl's meals.

**🍀**

**Oppa, I'm sorry, but can you come over and pick me up at school? I don't feel too good. I'll be at the bus stop.**

His partner at the firm was slightly astonished at his request to leave early from work since Minseok was known to be working all the time. It was rare that he took a leave and because it wasn't such a hectic day, he was free to go.

Driving his Mercedes Benz, his saliva never failed to turn sour at the sight of his own car. When he left the building, a new sensation crept up his spine. A restless feeling emerged slowly but prominently as he got closer and closer to the bus stop.

It was eye-opening. It wasn't about work or duty calls. Somebody just needed him to be there.

His skin tingled, and his body jerked slightly when she opened the car door and closed it a bit too loud. The man didn't dare to lock his eyes with the girl as she rested her head comfortably on the headrest and turned away, holding a distant gaze at whatever was outside the window.

The ride home was tense this time. Jayoung hadn't said a word, and if she wasn't constantly wiping her tears away with her the cuff of her bright turquoise shirt, he would have tried something. Her chestnut hair was wavy and gave off a distinct fragrance, reminding him of her sister. Of course, that alone was the problem.

At home, he just sat on the couch silently while the girl was sleeping upstairs. Well, hopefully, she was sleeping.

He didn't know why, but he was drawn to downing a glass of stiff whiskey. His silver jacket felt stuffy, and his blue skinny crochet tie was suffocating. He stumbled toward the kitchen table and got a hold of himself.

Her dark raven hair was flowing in the wind – so beautiful, it was almost bending the gravity. The pull was there dragging him closer, but when he was near, venomous eyes cast their hate unto him. He couldn't move. He was still like a man who was turned into stone.

In his whole life, he knew he had done nothing but good, yet this person hated him. He knew then he had never met anyone who despised him this much. It couldn't be blamed on anyone, however. As much as he understood that he may have deserved it in a way, he still couldn't believe the grim disappointment in her eyes every time he approached her.

When the whiskey glass slipped through his fingers and landed safely on the glass table, making a searing clink, he was snapped out of his daylight trance. 03:47 pm. He could go back to work obviously, but for once he felt emotionally tired. An excuse he never thought he'd be the one to use.

Minutes later, he was standing in front of Jayoung's room, idly walking back and forth. Once his courage was mustered, he softly knocked on a gray door which slowly swung open on the first tap. There was she was laying on the bed looking particularly frail. So, she was sleeping. He tightened his lips and bit the inside of his cheeks at the thought of her sister.

There was a seaweed soup pack he'd insisted they should buy in the fridge in case she couldn't cook, or there was no takeout, but of course, he didn't tell her the reason why when he put it in the cart. All he had to do was wait for the water to boil and put all the ingredients in.

He figured that she might wake up in the middle of the night, so a little cooking wouldn't hurt. However, he doubted that she would actually come down and eat, but that was her sister.

Shaking his head furiously, he reminded himself. _They're not the same person._

The Cha family and their three kids were peculiar people amongst the many prestigious names. However big the age gap was, Soyoung and Jayoung were always close, hanging out with each other whenever possible. It was hard to imagine Soyoung being fun, but he could tell from the picture he saw in Jayoung's room.

Doyoung, however, was the only one he hadn't met. No one in their family seemed to mention the second son – not even the two sisters. Well, his father did say that the kid was studying abroad, but that was too weak as an excuse to not come to the wedding. Maybe, the kid hated him, too. That made sense.

At 9:12 pm, the girl walked down the stairs slowly – hands on railings for support.

His feet wanted so bad to jerk forward and get closer to help her out, but his mind held them firmly on the cold white floor.

"Ow."

Of course, that was enough to push him forward, ridding his head of hesitations.

"We got seaweed soup," her small shoulders were in his hands as he guided her down the rest of the steps. The girl probably hadn't even had any lunch at all. "And some omelet rice."

She didn't seem to mind when he kept his eyes on her as she leisurely ate dinner. Then again, the blankness in her small swollen eyes may not have noticed. Her pale face gradually gained color the more she ate. Her hair was a little messy and tangled, making her constantly push the strands out of the way. He toyed with the idea of tying her hair up for her.

All-day, he'd been wondering exactly what had happened at school that shocked her this much. Of course, it was her sister that brought her down this much, but how did it go down? Did somebody insult her sister? Did somebody do something that degraded her? Or did she just break down herself? If it were the last one, then it was good that she did. She looked too normal and happy; it had made him curious about how she dealt with the loss.

As she walked upstairs with her brooding eyes staring ahead at nothing, he called in busy looking after a family member for the first time in his entire career.

**🍀**

On Fridays, she only needed to stay for the morning since she'd opted out of the running team since the start of the new final semester. As she stared at the whiteboard full of her least favorite physics formulas, she bit into her own lips, letting her mind drift to a previous matter.

Apparently, Minseok had taken a day off for her. It seemed to her that every time they looked at each other, he was the one with the raised eyebrows – full of concerns and worries. She at least truthfully admitted to herself that she was a little flattered at such gestures that were questionable to her no matter how endearing they may be.

She remembered the dumbfounded look he had when she told him she was going to school either way. The man couldn't really say no. High school scores really mattered if a student wanted to enroll in a university. He did make several attempts to ask what had happened the other day that made her so down.

_"Do you really want to know?"_

His facial expression reminded her of a chubby newborn baby. The frantic nods made her swallow her giggles; it was unbelievable to see such a grown man acting like a kid – at any rate, still a reasonable kid.

_"I'm on my period."_

The horrid look on his face when the fresh information had sunk in.

_"I mean I had it for the first time last-"_

_"Got it! Anything you want me to do?"_

She wouldn't say there was a mean side to her, but she considered it to be a daring one. The way his face burned a light shade of scarlet earned a peal of laughter from the girl.

"Yonggi-ah, come on, it's time for you to go home." Dark short hair filled her vision. It was still unnerving to see her best friend's once red and long hair turned into something so simple yet outlandish for a girl like her. "You're giggling to yourself like a maniac. You okay?"

Feeling like deer in a headlight, Jayoung cleared her throat and shook her head while packing up her backpack, getting ready to go home. "I'm good."

"What about the cramps? Acting up again?" Her chubby body pressed against hers and threw an arm around her lovingly. Sometimes, the love she gave fell short for Jayoung. Sometimes, she felt like her friend was only doing out of pity. Was she a bad friend for thinking this of her own best friend?

"Today's a bit numb, but- Well, couldn't have felt any better on a day like this. Oh, and Hari-ah?"

"Um?" It'd been a month, and she felt the need to tell someone about her condition. Her family knew of that, but someone close who could help share the burden would be great. "Yah, you spaced out again. You've been really out of it lately. You sure it's just the period?"

She drew out a long breath. "Sorry, yeah. Just the period."

Maybe this wasn't the time just yet. Maybe when she was ready. Maybe then, she would be able to say something.

Hari had made sure she boarded the bus and took a seat properly. It was 1:35 pm, and she was going home once more.

These days, the act of going home bored a strange type of anxiety. She wasn't sad when she was on the way home, but she wasn't exactly happy either.

The man meant no ill-intention, but as to why he didn't explain to her who the blonde woman was the other day made his actions certainly a bit suspicious. She would've added the fact that her parents were also the ones causing her distress; however, she sensed that she'd given away much information to the man, and he has yet to reveal much about himself.

_Jayoung-ah, I'm sorry, but can we meet on Sunday instead? Something came up, and Saturday is out for me._

Jimin was an old friend she was surprised to have reconnected with once again. She never thought anyone would want to pursue a friendship with her after all of the many schools she'd changed.

She quickly sent back a no problem text, though feeling a little down. She and Jimin used to run on the track team together back in secondary school. He looked so much different now. The last time she saw him was a time when the boy still had cute freckles on his pale cheeks, but now he was so much more mature than she was, being a little over a year older than her.

_Tell you all about it later ;)_

At home, she found Minseok fresh out of the shower with a towel on his head and his bathrobe still on. After awkwardly pointing at the supply he had bought for her on the couch, Jayoung timidly nodded, picked up the bags full of sanitary pads and other things a girl like her needed, and rushed up the stairs to hide in her room.

At least, she knew one thing from him she was sure about. Persistence. Perhaps his profession had something to do with this.

"Jayoung-ah?"

She was still in her school uniform when she stepped out of her room to answer the call.

"Come, I want to show you something." The man had a warm looking yellow sweater on instead of turning the air-con up. His bright blond hair was still a little damped and was covering his forehead unlike the usual professional gelled and swiped upward style.

His weird cologne filled her nose as she followed him close behind toward the room was right below his bedroom. This was the one room she couldn't access in the whole house. It was always locked, so she'd assumed it was a storage room of some kind.

Once he turned the key in the knob, he stepped back and motioned his hand toward the now-open part of the house. There was a mischievous yet excited look in his eyes – an expression she hadn't seen him made before.

"Go on."

The warm fire-like lighting from inside the room drew her in, and all of sudden she found herself marveling at the many shelves that filled the walls and the bookshelves that aligned themselves in five neat rows she counted.

The empty desk looked extremely inviting as if it was asking someone to occupy the space. Adjacent to it was a sturdy windowsill covered by a soft creamy duvet and a pillow at the end with the view of the garden outside.

Oh, she'd always wanted a windowsill, so she could spend the rainy days lying beside the window, watching the droplets romantically hit the glass.

"You can study or spend your time here if you want. I'm not really using this as much anymore." She could felt the genuine enthusiasm in his voice as he stood right beside – a bit too close for her liking. "Oh, here at the back..."

His right hand nudged her shoulders lightly and lead her to the left side of the final row of the bookshelves.

"These are all of my high school and college notes." He pulled out a green book and held it in both of his hands happily.

"Omo! SATs!" She quickly grabbed a hold of it and realized that she'd also got his hands in hers, but the action was swift, and she hid her startled reaction well. "Wah~~ With notes and everything..."

"Just put things back where they once were, okay? I may need to read here, too."

"Thank you very much, oppa." Jayoung deeply bowed to him and immediately let her mind take her to the various colorful books waiting for her.

The distinct scent of books brought her joy and nostalgia, and when she saw his proud smile towards her, she knew this was something different.

☘️

He opened his eyes. The light peeking out from behind the window curtain was all he could see. The crippling feeling of wooziness kicked in. Clearly, he hadn't gotten enough sleep like most nights. He stared at the ray of sunlight until his eyes couldn't stand the dryness any longer, wanting to blink.

5:58 am.

A single tear rolled down his cheek as he immediately closed his eyes. He always counted how long his eyes could go on without blinking; this time wasn't a record. Only twelves seconds.

"Ah!"

A small shriek from downstairs set the alarm off in his head. From his perspective, he moved swiftly, but in reality, it took him almost a minute just to even get out of bed.

It must be Jayoung. She normally cooked in the morning, the only part of the day she was sure she got to be a chef. The girl got comfortable with the kitchen very quickly and was always active. Whenever she got the chance, the ingredients would be out and ready for cooking. The moment she finished her school work, she would almost break her own door open every time and come to try out a new recipe she found online.

A sugary scent invaded his nose, and looking down at the kitchen from his room, he found the girl cleaning off a pot in the sink. He noticed the oven was open, which confirmed his theory that there would be dessert today.

Taking a deep breath, he bent forward, leaned against the railing, and watched her scurry from one thing to another. The girl didn't seem to care much about him or the marriage whatsoever, which definitely put him off. He'd expected something explosive. In his defense, the man didn't mean to assume, but her sister was without a doubt not thrilled about this as anyone would react to such old-fashioned arranged marriage.

A few days into the second month of this, he felt like he'd gotten himself a housekeeper.

"Oh, good morning, oppa! Sorry if I woke you up." Jayoung genuinely sounded apologetic, but her face bared a huge smile and bright eyes he could see shining from this far away. It was good to know that she was back to herself once more.

There really was something unique and beautiful about people when they get to do something they love – something they were passionate about.

He replied, stuttering, _it's nothing._ Maybe the guy woke up too early.

"Minseok-shi, you seemed a little worn out than usual." His tall co-worker, Oh Sehun, occasionally looked away from his computer and checked on his older counterpart. A good friend but he wasn't considered as close.

"Oh, do I? Ah, I'm always like that..." Minseok's eyes went back and forth from the brochure in his hands and a website on his computer. Right now, his job was to scout out the best candidates who would best organize the upcoming summer party for the company in three months.

"You got a day off and you look worse. You know what I'm talking about, hyung."

He put down the brochure and locked his eyes on the second monitor about another catering service. "Right! I um... cleaned my study yesterday."

"I thought you were taking care of someone?"

"While they were... asleep, I got restless."

Minseok could see the younger shaking his head in the corner of his eyes. As he went on about the day working, he wondered how long he could hide the fact that he was married any longer. Typing in the info of the place he chose, he stared at the finger that was supposed to bear a wedding ring and bit into his cheek, taking a deep breath.

Three hours later, he had finally listed his tasks and called Sehun to come with him to check the places they had decided on. As they walked through the parking lot, Sehun was talking about how he had gotten the job working for such a huge fashion company. Having been here for a year and a half, Minseok could really see the progress and improvement Sehun had achieved compared to the first few he was here. The man was assigned to look after this one intern, and now he was working full-time alongside him. So far, he hadn't seen anything terrible about the kid. Certainly, Sehun had some weird habits, but he never had any bad intentions, and Minseok was grateful for that.

When they were finally approaching Minseok's car, another figure appeared. His hair was a brighter shade of brown than that of Sehun's and Jayoung's. The new color always brought him back to all the painful times he faced with the person.

"Jongdae-sunbaenim." Sehun bowed in the respect to the elder and senior co-worker.

"Um. Safe drive." His voice was still as tender as ever. Kindness, he could tell was still there, but he just found it hard to believe there was something different.

Minseok could only look down in shame as the familiar face passed by. Sehun's worried eyes peered over him. He knew that the kid was curious as to what happened between the two seniors, understanding that rumors were around. Maybe, when Sehun was a bit older and more perceptive about the world around him, Minseok would probably tell him.

Postponing such a story for another time, he remembered Jayoung.

How was he going to tell her?

He was driving alone back home once again. The road was empty, and the night skies were aglow with the many twinkling stars. The indie song he was listening to on the radio reminded him of the lonely times in his childhood. Once in a while, he would get the attention of his older brother. Suho was always busy. Then again, he was ten years older than him. The older was ahead of him in so many ways; it was hard to even try to compare. Being the younger one, he knew couldn't measure up to what his brother could do, but he loved him nonetheless.

Stepping out of his car, he walked to the front door he had once dreaded. The lights shone bright, and it felt nice on his face, knowing that it wasn't the darkness that usually greeted him.

Something about his emotions that was out of place. Somehow, he felt like he could get used to this, but at the same time, he was afraid that it would be taken away from him once more.

The food was on the kitchen table as usual, but Jayoung wasn't on the couch as she used to.

The light from his study drew him in and there she was snuggling up with a pillow on the windowsill with books lying around underneath. The moonlight cast a different shade of white on her while the tall lamp in the study spread its warm burning yellow glow.

Since he normally ate in the kitchen with Jayoung sleeping on the couch where he could easily see her, that night he brought the homemade seaweed soup to his desk and ate his late-night dinner as she was closely lying comfortably on the once empty windowsill.

☘️

She had left a note for Minseok before coming out to meet up with her old childhood friend, Jimin. Again, the height of that boy surprised her once more when he stood close to her. He was always the shorter one, but not anymore.

They agreed to meet up at the local coffee shop near her _previous_ home. Good thing that Jimin still thought that she was still in the same neighborhood. She didn't want to explain any of this mess to anyone of her friends just yet. It would have probably caused quite a ruckus; moreover, this was the last semester. Jayoung didn't want to screw it up, letting her classmates bombing her with questions she wouldn't want to be answering anytime soon.

"I'm studying English Literature and Engineering." The same confidence was still there in her cocky friend.

"Wow, at the same time?" Jayoung was envious. Although she was one of the top scorers in class, she wasn't keen on handling too much all at once. She'd like to take things slow and steady. "That's amazing."

Jimin and Jayoung were four years apart, role-playing with one another every time they saw each other outside back in the days. Having a very civil conversation was a bit weird for the two of them, considering the past name callings and behaviors. However, it'd been three years since they'd spent any time with each other.

It felt like everyone just decided to leave her when she needed them most.

She could tell the college boy wanted to ask about her sister. He had been good friends and did have a little crush on Soyoung. She couldn't blame him; her sister was charming and adorable despite her age.

"So, when are you finishing up high school?" His blue flannel was blinding to her. She had never seen him wore something so mature. The boy was known for his mischievous nature and his flamboyant styles.

"A little less than four months, I'll be having the national examination. All those kinds of things." Her vanilla chocolate ice cream was already melting, but she still shoved it into her mouth. Minseok did tell her once that he found melting chocolate ice cream was his favorite type of ice cream. Weird, but she did understand the appeal and taste of it now.

"Look, Yonggi-ah, I'm sorry that I wasn't there with you for the last three years. My parents told me what happened. And um... Congratulations?" Oh, of course, his parents did come to her wedding. There went her effort trying to keep it a secret. "I feel like leaving you set us back to being strangers. It's ridiculous."

"Nah, none of your fault." He finished his dessert a long time ago and now was enjoying his own cup of espresso. Already, college life seemed to have taken a toll on him. "What about you?"

"Meh. Still gay." The boy shrugged it off like the three years of re-education didn't even happen at all. "They could convince me all they want, but that only pushed me further."

She flashed him a genuine smile with a hint of wariness in her eyes.

"Oh, they don't know about it. You do. So, all you have to is shut up."

She had to admit that Park Jimin did look manlier although that didn't really make him straighter.

"What are you going to do then?"

"Just pretend to live the way they want, then do whatever I want behind their backs."

Jayoung really admired the nerves her friend got. He didn't exactly disobey his parents' orders, but he didn't really follow them either. Contradictory.

When Jimin asked her the same thing, she had no idea what to say. The girl just spaced out. These days it looked as if those around her had managed to break the window and got out while she could only look through it.

"Don't worry Yonggi-ah. You'll figure something out." After getting his new number, they parted with a goodbye hug. "Just focus on your study first, okay?"

Back at home, she went straight to the study, picking up a random book from the shelf nearby before lying down on the windowsill. As she hugged the book close to her heart, she stared out the window, watching the sun slowly disappearing behind the many city buildings.

She had an hour break before she had to go back to reviewing her lessons once more. A ticking clock going forward without any particular goal was all she could feel like. The only time she got to be herself was when she cooked.

Halfway through rereading Biology lessons, she heard the doorbell rang.

That was extremely weird and scary for her. This house had always given her a cold impression of the perfect place to get murdered, and there she was hearing the doorbell rang for the first time staying in this house.

It was 9:12 pm. Minseok hadn't come home just yet, and there was someone outside.

As she approached the front door, the girl clutched her phone close – ready to call the police. Looking at the video on the side of the door, a man with the same fair skin as Minseok was standing there in a very expensive suit. Even though she wasn't sure herself, she could tell that he looked a lot more professional than Minseok.

She was about to open the door when the man used the recorder from the outside.

"Umin-ah?" There was a soft and familiar tone of the voice.

"Hi?" She could only muster a weak voice to answer.

"Oh, he's not home?" There were creases on his forehead the moment his eyebrows went up. "And you must be Jayoung?"

"Ne." Was she supposed to know who this man was?

"I'm his brother."

It was eerily disturbing that these brothers looked so much alike, not to mention the same height. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she finally understood why a lot of people were creeped out by her and her sister.

There was grace as he walked in. A firm polite bow followed by a pat on her shoulder as he said, "I'm Suho. Probably don't know me because I never really showed up at the wedding."

Of course, that was one red flag. A very busy brother. However, as she tried to find another reason to steer clear of the man, she failed.

Maybe it was because of the fact he did try to make time for the wedding, but his work interfered and the parents also advised him not to come. Maybe it was because he liked the tteokbokki she made with her favorite supply of rice cake from her one and only awesome uncle. She also got the best chili paste in town. Oh, good quality chili.

"Amazing, you should be a cook."

Was she being biased or was that the most genuine review of all time?

Suho asked her about the ingredients, and she just couldn't help but spill all of the beans she had in her cooking jar. Moreover, she felt like being interviewed for a great chef role on television.

A deep chuckle she would hear from time to time. He looked so proud of her, a person he hadn't known that well.

"So, has Minseok talked to you yet?" Suho also had the same hair swapped and gelled up in the same direction the way Minseok would style it.

"Talk about what... Umm, sisug-" She realized that she hadn't mentioned him correctly.

"It's fine. Just oppa is fine. No need for such proper title." Suho blurted out a little nervous laugh, scratching his shoulder. "Oh, I'm so old now, aren't I?"

Assuming that he was in his mid-thirties, she was shocked to know that the old man was 40 years old. That made her curious about the reason why the age gap was so big.

Jayoung was about to go in-depth as to what the man was referring to when she heard the familiar sound of the engine closing in. Pointing at the window, she whispered, "Minseok-oppa is here."

Suddenly, the brother-in-law started to shift in his seat and cleared his throat as he breathed in deeply. "Jayoung-ah, would you mind letting us talk for a moment?"

"Ne."

The night breeze was chilly but bearable. The first time she was outside the house at such a late hour. She noticed Minseok was staring at the car parked in the driveway.

"Oppa!"

Minseok had a flash of smiling, endearment, and confusion altogether – the various expressions startled her. "Oh, Jayoung-ah, what are you doing outside?"

It seemed like he forgot about the strange car completely. "Oppa, your brother is here. He wanted to talk." For a moment, she thought he was going to be infuriated, but he looked normal to her. "I'll wait out here while you do that."

Thirty minutes wouldn't have been so long if she had something to read, but she didn't bring anything. She heard her name called, leaving the garden in the backyard.

"You're okay, I guess." Suho patted her head, making the girl shy and excited at the same time. The man then leaned in to say, "Umin is a good person if you're willing to listen, and please take care of him."

She didn't really fully understand what that meant, but she blushed at the comment nonetheless.

"Oh, and uh, keep going at it with your cooking."

Ruffling her hair one final time, he waved goodbye to both of them and left.

It was a nice goodbye. Jayoung had a feeling that it would be another while she would get to see her brother-in-law again. When she turned around, Minseok was frowning at her weirdly.

"Is something wrong?"

"It- It's nothing."

She kept an eye on him as he hurried back into the house, coughing uncontrollably. ****

☘️

☘️

He was standing in front of the mirror, staring at nothing in particular. Himself in the reflection, he didn't notice, but he could see something or rather someone else.

She was there standing outside, waiting for him at the front door. For a second, he thought she was a ghost. A shadow of Soyoung coming back to haunt him, but it was just Jayoung. He was surprised, and it went away as soon as she whispered to him that his brother had been waiting to talk to him. The air smelt somewhat different when she was close.

He didn't know what to focus on at that point.

Suho was talking about the future of the company. Of course, that mattered more than anything, but a warm smile and an honest 'good luck' always brought him back from the bitterness he had against the man.

He'd be back again, he'd said.

_"It's none of your faults."_

It was a hug he didn't know he needed until he felt the strong embrace of the older man. They shouldn't be doing this. A childish thing to do, yet there they were. Two close but distant brothers holding one another as if to say they got each other's backs.

_"Jayoung is nice. She cooks just like grandma."_

Back in the days, the brothers were mostly neglected by their parents. They were occupied with the company work. Suho was always the one calming Minseok down when their parents decided to bail on them, not coming to each promised dinner, picnic, and countless occasions. Instead, their grandparents were in charge of looking after them.

It'd almost been two months since the first time she cooked for him, and of course, his brother wasn't mistaken.

The nostalgia and the happiness of childhood memories came back to him instantly, hitting him in the heartstring so heavy, he couldn't even hold eye contact with a 17-year-old kid.

"God damn it!" he beat the sink with his palm as he hissed at his own reflection.

Her hair looked really pretty under the moonlight that night. Maybe it was because that was the first time he saw her at night.

Why did Suho have to lean into her like that?

Didn't he know she was a minor?

The next second, he realized he, too, was old and he was no better than his brother. He was married to her, for god's sake!

"Oppa?" A small voice chirped cutely from outside his bathroom. "Is everything alright? I heard a lot of weird noises."

"No, no, no! Everything's alright!" He had the urge to open the door and talked to her face to face but changed his mind when it dawned on him that he only got a towel hanging from his waist.

"Oh, okay. So, um... Breakfast's ready! It's kimchi soup again."

Of course, they've run out of groceries faster than expected. Then again, it was a good thing.

"Um, I'll be downstairs in five minutes."

It was one of the rare Saturdays when he actually got a full day off. In the kitchen, he was putting up the new calendar he bought yesterday when he heard a splash and a hiss from close by.

The girl was trying to cook lunch when she burnt her own fingers. Minseok rushed to plunge her hands in the sink while also running soap over the burnt area. He knew from experience that rubbing any type of base on the burn helped soothe the pain and avoid terrible skin marks.

Half of his soul jumped out of his body when she leaned in close. He hadn't realized he had such a deep frown when the girl lifted her okay right hand to trace his brows softly. Probably the first time she touched his facial area. A huge impulse to swap her hand away. A bit too close for his comfort.

"Anyway, what's with the calendar?" She drew back and kept her eyes on the water running over her left hand. How could she act as if none of that had just happened?

"Oh, that? I thought we could write down our plans each day, so both of us know what the other is doing." Trying not to furrow his brows, he gave her a small smile and turned off the tap water, inspecting the burn. "You're always telling me where you're going. It's only fair if I do the same."

"Well, umm... Now, there's nothing for lunch." She had only started on the soup.

"We can do takeout or..." The fact that she didn't have her wedding ring on was baffling to him; though he didn't wear it either, he thought about the day they were going to start wearing it. "You're feeling okay?"

A frantic nod was all she could muster. He could tell she was amazed at how well his treatment turned out. There was a little reddish color on her fair skin, but that was about it. A bit of burning sensation on the injury – something she could handle just fine.

"Wait, can we eat out? I know a really good ramen place."

"Sure."

It took a few seconds when it finally dawned on them what had just happened.

"Uh," Jayoung looked at the clock. 10:03 am. 2 hours before their stomachs would start growling once more. "So, when?"

"Maybe at 1 o'clock?"

They were standing there in front of the sink. Her hands were still in his. Minseok was a bit slow, but when he caught on, the man began coughing nervously. Excusing herself back to her own bedroom, the girl rushed up the stairs and closed the door a bit too loud.

Did they just agree to go on a date? A first date?

_Oh, no. What did I just do?_

He slapped the sink with the palm of his hand. First of all, why was he nervous all of a sudden? The man had been a business consultant to some really intimidating and mean people, but here he was quivering like a hormonal teenager who had to deal with responsibility for the first time.

Going through what felt like a dusty part of his closet, Minseok pulled out a yellow flannel and a pair of black jeans. Was this current enough? The man scratched his head, trying to remember Sehun's fashion styles. The mention of the younger sidetracked him for a bit, and he compared himself to a taller and more masculine kid who would have probably be a better match with Jayoung.

_No, not now._

Yellow was the color of his choice. The man had a soft spot for the warmth the particular color gave him every time he looked at it. Jayoung, on the other hand, wore all black and grey although her yellow cap did brighten him up a little.

Lunch outside didn't feel that much different really. They were quite silent as they enjoyed their noodle and the delicious soup that Jayoung had promised it would deliver in which it definitely did.

The American waiter came back with the bill, eyeing the two of them in excitement. He looked like he really wanted to say something. Minseok noticed the girl was fidgeting in her seat under the man's stare.

The price was incredibly cheap for such a wonderful and fulfilling meal. Once he finished slipped in his money and some tip for the white man, he excused himself to the bathroom for a short moment.

Jayoung was talking to the American when he got back to their seats. She did say that she came here very often; hence, they had undoubtedly befriended one another.

"Sorry, sir. And I hope you like the meal." The friendly American waved goodbye to them as they exited the place.

On the way back to his car, Minseok thought about the remaining three to four hours left of daylight. Would she want to go back home immediately?

"So, are we going back home?" The girl was smart not to wear a skirt that day. It was surprisingly windy for the fairly hot weather.

"We can if you want to, but I just thought of something..." He did book a special thing for the girl, but he never really got the time to bring her to the place. "Let's go somewhere."

It was an hour's drive. He could tell the girl was trying to spy on him, glancing at him once in a while and using the glass window to stare back at him driving. The radio was on; someone was singing about summer love and it didn't really help that they were kind of on a date.

Nevertheless, at least, it wasn't an awkward silence. It felt like one the most comfortable drive he had ever been on. Most times, he just drove to work and back home. Going somewhere different with someone other than a co-worker was a new feeling – one that he could get used to.

**Yixing's Butt**

Minseok mentally face-palmed himself when he stared at the missing syllables. This guy was supposed to fix the giant nameplate days ago, but he guessed that hadn't started yet.

Before the girl could say anything about the sign, he quickly shoved her in the place.

"Wah~"

He understood the reaction. Despite the weird exterior of the place, this was one of the beautiful and clean chain restaurants in town, and his old friend just so happened to be the owner.

The intense burning sunset color was the theme of the place as they walked through rows of antique-looking wooden chairs and tables. The many houseplants were everywhere on the dining table, the windows, and even hanging from the ceiling. Pictures of ancient Chinese paintings of dynasties, flowers, mountains were strategically placed all around, creating a nostalgic feeling.

"Well, look who finally decides to show up." No one spoke Chinese better than the nonchalant Chinese friend of his.

"Lay-er!" The girl didn't seem to focus on the two so much, looking around and inspecting the whole place to her preference. Meanwhile, Minseok received a hug bigger than his brother could ever give from his old friend, Yixing or Lay as he usually called him. It was easier to address the Chinese that way without having to stress on the right syllable.

"So, that's the girl, huh?" It was weird to hear him speak Korean, but it was a courtesy to speak in the same language as the one who didn't understand him since Jayoung didn't really learn Mandarin. "Come on, kid. Let's see what you can do."

The girl was clearly entranced by the white and pristine chef uniform; her eyes followed the white till it disappeared.

Minseok grabbed a hold of the star-struck girl and shook her to make sure she was focusing on him. Hopefully, that old chef wouldn't think of doing something sinister to her. He did have his friend swore an oath, but due to the unpredictable nature of his, Minseok still needed to be cautious.

"Is this what I think this is?" The girl's voice was small but high-pitched.

"That was my friend, Yixing. You should call him Chef since you'll be learning from him."

"Are you serious!? Ah!"

The girl attacked him with a brief hug before bowing repeatedly towards him as she constantly said thank you. Once she had calmed down a little, he explained his friend's background and the restaurant itself. This was something that was passed on in the family, and there were rules when accepting disciplines from different families. Luckily, she didn't need to worry about any of that since Yixing had made an exception for them both.

The restaurant opened every day except on Sundays from 6:00 pm to 6:00 am. This was one of the famous Chinese restaurants in town known for its delicious and amazing kinds of dumplings. Yixing changed his family's working hours to cater to the needs of students and anyone who worked the whole day, having little to no free time but at night. Therefore, there wouldn't be a huge problem with late-night dinner.

This was the place Minseok always ate at before Jayoung was around cooking dinner for him.

"Yixing is a good person, but ..." The man scratched his forehead out of frustration. This Chinese man would be the death of him, he swore to god. "I don't mean to say he's a bad person. He's a good person, but his behaviors are... Well, some of them are unacceptable."

Jayoung was listening to him attentively. Her eyes were so gentle staring at him, the guy thought he would melt at the apparent happiness in her face.

"I wouldn't want to tell you what to do. You're growing up now, so you should know yourself what to pick up from your teachers and what not to." Minseok chuckled at the childish eager nod. "Go on. He's waiting over there for you."

He kept himself busy sitting a bit further from the counter where there was also a kitchen; customers could watch the chefs cook all they wanted. As he was sipping his favorite tea, he marveled at Jayoung's clumsiness. This was probably the first time she got to have a chef's space to herself.

Minseok then heard a click of an iPhone camera on his side and found that Yixing was laughing at him quietly.

"What?"

"Oh, you have no idea how deep you're in this right now..." He watched as his friend inspected the photo he'd taken while ogling at it. "Look at you, smiling like an idiot."

"What?" It was a bit cryptic to him.

"Nothing. As a home cook, she's maybe as good as you said she is, but she's going to take a while to become a professional one."

"I'm surprised you actually even choose to teach her right away." Minseok leaned back, sipping his tea, while Yixing sat down next to him.

"She's really happy doing this. I haven't seen a lot of kids that excited about cooking this era." Yixing fixed his chef's hat and beamed at the kid from afar. "I couldn't resist such a cooking enthusiast."

Watching her smile through the mistakes she made from this far away, he knew he couldn't resist her at all.

☘️

****The bed felt strange to her. That was when she realized she had woken from a dream. Just seconds ago she was walking down an empty country road with Minseok peacefully as opposed to where she actually was – in her bed.

It was 4:35 am.

Her sister had always woken up before that. Everything she did was planned, calculated. Everything in her life had a purpose. But then it all went away. One thing that had no purpose. Or rather... One person.

The stars welcomed her gaze as they twinkled in the final hours of darkness. She let out a yawn and in the process, she shed a sleepy tear.

That one person also happened to offer what she had dreamt for a lifetime if you could count half of her childhood a lifetime. She knew she should angry at the person for her sister's death, but it didn't make sense. Everything didn't fall into place just yet.

It wasn't a tornado but rather a calm cold winter in her mind. She didn't know whole the story to be furious – even after three years.

The girl sat up in her newly decorated and colorful bedroom. There were plenty of anime accessories and merchandise on her desk and shelves while the houseplants including the fake ones were packed on the tiny windowsill and the top of the closet. Her green and yellow bedsheet and duvet were vibrant, making the whole room pop.

The bright light should be burning her eyes, but it gave comfort, providing the safety she needed to fall asleep. It was approaching the end of April, and her time in high school was about to end.

Jayoung tried not to think about the upcoming exams and other things [...] as she leaned on the headboard and examined the room.

She once thought the gray color was lifeless and bland when she first moved in, but the more she adorned her room with things of other different and lively colors, she realized a more fulfilling purpose of the color gray.

The fact that the gray was there in the background was that the other colors could shine and stand out in their way. It didn't try to steal the spotlight but rather help narrow our focus and highlight the shimmering things instead. The color never interfered or stood in the way of anything.

After thirty minutes of getting ready, she found herself smiling at the new calendar near the fridge in the kitchen.

**_April 16, 2017 – Party at a coworker's place, Incheon [he got a promotion]_ **

That actually explained his empty bedroom. Incheon was far away; he had to wake up early to get there.

**_April 17, 2017 – Work, work, work_ **

**_April 18, 2017 – Work, work, work :(_ **

**_April 19, 2017 – Work, work, work..._ **

**_April 20, 2017 – A co-worker's birthday party [he's 37 already, I think this should stop]_ **

The girl giggled at the quirky remark on the tiny post note. Taking a deep breath, she went through the whole calendar which he had taken up most of the space. What was the point for both of them to use it when it was cluttered up with his schedules? Most of them were just a repetition of his workdays and some sort of business meeting with someone on weekends.

Minseok managed to fill up the timetable month ahead and the last one was a Tokyo business visitation:

**_May 18, 19, 20, 21, 2017 – Tokyo business trip [we'll talk about it later]_ **

"Well, close enough." Yixing was inspecting the second dumpling she had made, stirring all kinds of emotions in the girl. "You know when you get into a cooking school, it's going to be extremely ruthless, so just get ready, alright? I myself don't have that kind of energy or... the heart to scold you."

"Wah, a cooking school?" her beaming face was undeniably adorable. She should be scared at the prospect of the real world, but to dapple in something she loved was more than enough.

"Hmm." The older chef chuckled at her optimistic self, surprised at her behavior.

To be honest, she, too, was shocked at how positive she could be, especially when came to this. Despite her strict upbringing, she managed to stay true to herself and stood out.

Although Chinese cuisine wasn't exactly what she wanted to learn, Jayoung was content to even work in a fancy kitchen at all.

It was Sunday, the one day off, so the girl had all the time she needed to practice, and thankfully, Yixing didn't seem that troubled with her around all day. After all, she was reassured by the man himself that he was more than delighted to have her as a pupil.

Back then there were many trying to get his attention and wanting to be his student, but the chef wasn't interested, seeing that most of them weren't all that excited about becoming his student or even a cook. She was the first one he found genuinely interested in the subject matter.

"Why cooking?" His lightly wrinkled forehead and the pure looking face puzzled her. What was up with Minseok's group of friends? They seemed old but not old enough for their age. Were they all vampires?

"Yes?" His fair skin and the veiny arms distracted her for a second, but the fact that the chef uniform wasn't on kind of disappointed her a little.

"Why choose cooking?"

The memories came back flashing in front of her eyes. Her mother was the one and only first person who asked her that question. Anger flared up her eyes and frustration filled her voice when she uttered the question, unlike Yixing's soft and kind tone.

"Everyone was always busy." It was time to talk about it when someone actually wanted to listen and pay attention. "My older sister... she couldn't be with me all the time. She had school."

She remembered the numerous kitchen toy appliances she played with held no significance to her back then, but she did it either way. Her father was never home, but her mother was.

Her mother would cook her different kinds of food, lighting up Jayoung's lonesome time with delicious meals. When she grew up, she learned about the precious magic of doing something one loved with her Korean literature teacher.

He was the embodiment of a dream that came true. The man loved his career and everyone was lucky to be his pupils due to his bright and enthusiastic nature of teaching. Her teacher cared deeply about his students, making sure everyone passed and encouraging those who needed a push.

His death came sudden and tragic. Well, it wasn't exactly sudden for him. He knew about the cancer, but he chose to teach his last class instead, aware of his own mortality. It was futile to try to reverse a stage 4 cancer. At such an old age, he questioned he could recover from the flu at all. When the semester ended, he gave a short final speech, telling his students to try their best and follow their dreams.

Two days later, he passed away quietly in his lonesome apartment.

"I'm sorry." She didn't know she was crying until she felt a hand patting her back softly. Yixing gave her a small smile, showing that he was still there.

This was particularly painful since her own sister perished the same way. Jayoung wondered if Soyoung, too, knew about the disease.

Moved by his sincere and pure commitment to his students, she decided to be like him. Live and die by doing what she loved. It was almost heroic what he did. For the next months, she spent her free time, figuring out what was it that made her happy.

The old chef just smiled and rested his chin on his hand, tilting his head playfully at her, "Let me guess... Cooking?"

A tearful hiccup was followed by a giggle. She tried to stop her tears as she nodded at the curious chef. "I told my mother first because, well, she was part of the reason why I chose it in the first place."

When her tears stopped, she took a deep breath and finished her story, "My mother didn't like it."

"Don't think about it too much. You'll be fine on your own." Yixing stood up and approached the kitchen, moving up his sleeves as he began to clean up the mess she made. "I was supposed to be a doctor, but I insisted that I'd better off continuing my father's legacy. Maybe, my children would do other things."

She realized that maybe she was the only child who wanted to do the same thing as he did; hence, he made her his pupil. Just in case, his children didn't want to pursue the same dream, he chose her.

"I'm glad I'm here." She said it nonchalantly while helping out with the cleaning. The girl could hear the older quietly chuckled to himself.

"Yixing-sunbae."

The small voice broke their happy moment and when Yixing saw the woman in front of him, he pushed Jayoung back, not caring about his soap-filled hands, "Rion."

It was the same blonde woman who once stood in the doorway. She looked beautiful. There wasn't any makeup, unlike the first time she saw her. Or was that the first time?

"Please, could you talk to Minseok-sunbae? I just need one conversation with him." The older was busy staring ahead at the restaurant door. Next time, he would tell Jayoung to remember to lock it.

"You know, I'm not in the place to do that. He made me promised." Yixing didn't lie. Jayoung stared at the older man's pained expression. Somehow, he looked like he wanted so bad to tell her.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you then."

It was when she stepped out of the restaurant that Jayoung had the courage to run after her.

"Jayoung-ah! Wait!"

But the girl already out of the building.

"Unnie..." she roughly pulled at the woman's hand. Fortunately, she didn't seem bothered; the woman just looked sad.

"Yes?"

"Why do you want to talk to Minseok-oppa?" Jayoung never really thought about it much because he told her not to, but others told her otherwise. She needed to know what was going on. Maybe she could help Minseok out.

"Um... It's not something I could just say to a kid." The woman didn't mean to offend her. Living around Minseok long enough, she felt no prejudice against her age; it was natural to hear the real world's opinion about her. "Wait, what's your relationship with him?"

All of a sudden, her courage went away. She wanted to crawl into a cave and hide forever.

"Wait a minute, I remember you..." There was happiness, then sadness in her eyes. "You're Doyoung? Minyoung?"

"Jayoung."

She looked relieved but stressed at the same time, "I'm Rion, your sister's best friend."

That explained why she had seen the woman before. Rion was fidgeting uncomfortably when she handed a name card for her.

"Maybe, we can talk later about your sister. Right now, I need some time." The woman did seem shaken by Jayoung. "You look so much like your sister."

She watched Rion drove off in her car when she was yanked back.

"What the hell, kid!?" Yixing had Jayoung in his arms. His leather jacket was smashing into her face weirdly and the zipper didn't feel that nice on her skin.

"I'm fine." She started to think that the bear hugging greetings weren't just for greeting.

"Oh, man, your husband is going to kill me for this."

"Wh- why is that?" _No, not that word._

Yixing dragged the girl back in the restaurant and walked back and forth, anxiously pulling on his hair for solutions. When he asked about the things Rion said to her, she just answered truthfully.

"I'll say that it's not my place to discuss any of that. I have biases that I'm afraid you would wrongly interpret." The man paused, trying to come up with a more deliberate response. "I won't tell any of this to Minseok, but you have to promise me that when you two meet up, it has to be at this place where I can see you, alright?"

Why was everyone so cautious of the lady?

"I can say this though... She's Minseok's ex."

It took her a while to understand the massive weight of the situation.

_Wow._

"I don't know what she's going to say to you, but keep an open mind, okay? And talk to me when you're done." The old chef finally looked his age with all of the anxiety he was feeling. He could the gravity of his words were affecting her. "I don't want this to be a big problem."

Jayoung honestly had no idea what to feel at the moment. She was angry at first, but it didn't make sense. She didn't like Minseok. She was married to him, but-

"I don't want you to go."

The phrase caught her attention. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Minseok rarely smile or eat anything when it all went down. You –" The old chef embraced her once more. "He's himself again for such a long time he spent mourning."

Jayoung was lying on the window staring aimlessly at the night sky.

She was supposed to cook, read, and go to bed, but she couldn't do any of them.

Suho and Yixing were, in their own way, pleading her to stay. She questioned herself whether it was an honor. The lonely and broken Minseok she never saw, but he had been in this house before she came along. Jayoung was glad she could cheer him up, but it was conflicting and the man was quite secretive despite his kind attitude.

The girl always knew something was going on behind closed doors. It didn't matter much to her about Rion's previous relationship with Minseok. It was her sister that mattered.

It was a stage 5 breast cancer. It was futile to even try to save her.

_"Don't forget to cook for me, Yonggi-ah."_

Her sister was the one who supported her dreams before Minseok came along. Why did she have to go so soon?

A loud knock interrupted her thoughts.

This time it wasn't her brother in law but rather another man cradling Minseok in his arms. The girl had every right to be shocked and didn't take one more second to wonder if the man was dangerous or not.

"Oh, my god, what happened to Minseok-oppa?" She wanted to step in and touch the man to see if he was okay, but she was reluctant. "Wait, is he..."

The man carrying Minseok was looking at her intently, star-struck at what he saw. She tried waving at him but he just stared blankly at her as if he was thinking of something else, "You're –"

Minseok interrupted his speech, coughing up liquid on to his gray expensive suit.

"Come, his room is on the first floor."

"I know."

"What is it?" She heard what he said but didn't quite understand.

"Nothing."

After angrily dropped Minseok on the comfy and cozy bed, the man turned to her with an unexpected threatening voice, "None of this happened. Got it, kid?"

She watched as the brown-haired man stomping out of the building. He tried to slam the front door shut, but it didn't make any noise due to the advanced technology. Jayoung could hear the frustrated scream from outside.

_Well, what's the purpose of slamming a door if there's no sound to it?_

Jayoung then turned her concentration to the man giggling in his drunken slumber.

_Oh, this is going to be a long night._

☘️

He was sitting there in front of Jayoung, eating ice cream together. Looking at the dead clock on the wall in the shop, Minseok realized immediately he was in a dream. Jayoung seemed to not even notice him at all. The girl just focused on the view around her and her ice cream.

A car honk woke him up from the stoic dream. He could feel the sun on his skin - woke late again, he sighed deeply. Slowly, he squinted his eyes to see through the blurriness when something came into view.

"Oh, Jayoung-ah."

There was an instant relaxing feeling every time he saw her face. A person who didn't really care much about him but at the same time, seemed to care a lot about him. He felt like he didn't always have to explain himself to the girl. And to have her right beside him -

"Jayoung?! Oh!"

The small and frail body was lying next to him. No wonder why he felt warmer than usual. Her chestnut hair covered half of her face; her uncomfortable skirt and tight t-shirt she was wearing, meaning that she didn't get to change at all.

Minseok drew himself back to the edge of the bed, hugging a pillow in the meantime.

_What's she doing in my bed?_

_Oh no... What happened..._

_Wait, last night... Did I -_

"Oppa! Don't - Don't move too fast," The girl groggily told the man as she tried to sit up with a hand rubbing harshly against her forehead. "You'll -"

"ow."

"- get a headache..."

The world suddenly turned against him as his head began to spin in the worse way possible, nauseating his every thought. Minseok braced himself for the fall, but two small hands gripped firmly on his biceps trying to keep him balanced.

"Oppa, you had a lot to drink last night," There was ringing in his ears, but he managed to hear her speak through gritted teeth - the first time she sounded annoyed with him. "Now, it's a hangover."

He caught a glimpse of the disapproving look on her face as she picked up the meds on his nightstand and approached him with water ready.

While Minseok was downing two glasses of water, it dawned on him that they were going to have to talk about what'd happened last night. She helped him to the bathroom and he got into the shower letting the cold water clear his head.

Through shivering arms and chattering teeth, he pieced together the things he saw in his bedroom to form a full picture. Jayoung must have been cleaning him up, taking off his jacket and pants, and in the process fell asleep right beside him.

Her fingers were tapping against the glass table as she waited for him to finish up. Minseok had thrown a sleeveless tee and a blue dress shirt on, getting ready since it was almost time for him to leave for work. Gulping nervously at the messy hair she must have hastily tied into a bun, he readied himself for some talking.

"What were you doing last night?" She was still sluggish from the lack of sleep. Seeing the girl in such a state, he felt the guilt gnawing at his heart. "I know there was a party - you wrote it down, but why did you drink so much?"

He couldn't believe he was being scolded for something he had frequently done for the past years - by a kid.

"I ... I don't know. This was a frequent thing back in the day for me. I tried to refuse the drinks, but they forced me." It was true. To all of a sudden stop drinking when he was known to go to these parties everywhere was unusual for his co-workers to grasp.

"Didn't you know I was waiting for you at home?"

For once, he noticed real worry in her eyes.

"If you're going to drink, at least make sure you won't be going to work the next day." He shouldn't be feeling special when a kid was talking down to him; he couldn't help his emotions going haywire from the attention he was getting. "You're lucky your friend was kind enough to bring you home. What if no one were there to help you? You know I can't go to you."

_Wait, somebody brought me home?_

"Oh, goodness? Why are you smiling? I'm about to blow up seeing you like this." Her fists banged against the table, making her coffee cup shake spilling tiny droplets.

He bit his lips, trying to repress his weird behavior. Looking up from the orange juice he was sipping, the man cleared his throat. "Um, who brought me home?"

"Don't change the subject."

_Woah~ Where did the honorifics go?_

The girl was staring him down in a way that wasn't that very scary but rather endearing and caring. This was the first time she showed him any overflowing emotions a teenager should be expressing; then again, this was the first time he showed her such a terrible side of him.

Well, drinking was part of the adult world. Jayoung shouldn't even be scolding him right now. However, watching her heaving heavily with furrowed brows got him reconsidering his actions. He had never done a thing for her to worry before. This must have probably caught her off guard.

Maybe, it was out of his character to do such a thing. Maybe. It must have scared her a lot.

"I'm sorry." He was reluctant to bow but did it anyway, seeing her flushed after finally realizing what she had said to the older man. "I normally didn't have anyone waiting for me."

"Well, you do now, so - from now on, please drink responsibly." The girl was stuttering through the sentence with proper honorifics.

His heart swelled at the thought of her waiting for him every night.

Jayoung tiredly rubbed her eyes when she took a peek at the clock. It was 7:15 am. "No breakfast today." She said it in a hoarse whisper.

Minseok was quick to be right next to her when she stumbled out of the kitchen. The orange juice really helped him sober up. The fact that he was used to the pain also helped. "When did you go to sleep last night?"

All she did was gave him a stink eye before walking upstairs to her bedroom.

"I'll give you a ride!" At this hour, the bus had already left.

On the way to school, he tried to have a chat with her about Yixing and her progress. Jayoung didn't talk as much about food as she would normally have; the girl just crossed her arms staring at the window the whole ride. It was cute that she couldn't resist answering some questions and forgot to hide her excitement about the cooking - trying hard to look angry.

Minseok expected awkwardness, but there was none. By the time, they arrived at the front gate, she was rambling on about dumplings and how adorable it was to see Yixing space out from time to time.

"There's no food left in the fridge. Umm, very little left..." She was about to leave the car when Minseok beat her to it, holding the door open for her.

"Let's eat at Yixing's tonight. I miss his dumb face." He fixed the collar for her. Her hair was sticking to it weirdly. "I'll leave work early and pick you up at 5."

As he watched her hesitantly waving goodbye to him, he just smiled to himself and drove off - his hungover magically cured.

☘️

"Sunbaenim, hello!"

Minseok tried his best not to be interested in what the tall kid had to say to his old friend, looking at his phone and scanning the computer pretending to be busy.

"Ah, wae!?" The classic whining screech Kim Jongdae was known for never failed to make him smile. "Oh, what's with you? I already did the report thing – stop doing this to me!"

"Eh~~ Sunbae, you did say it yourself that a senior should never go back on his words..." Sehun didn't seem bothered by annoyed Jongdae and kept on looking down at him with a determination burning in his eyes.

"Why you of all people!?"

"Oh, ye, I'll be right there." Stepping out of the office hurriedly, Minseok turned to look at the two of them. "Don't forget – meeting in 2 hours. I have an errand I must run."

It was getting increasingly entertaining to see the young blood, Sehun, trying to reel old rusty, Jongdae, back to life. Sehun did honestly seem to like the older man. The kid had been trying to get on his nerves for months. Minseok didn't really know what started all of this, but he hoped it would turn out as he imagined it.

As he made his way down the skyscraper – alone in the huge elevator, he thought about what could be happening with those two right about now. Coincidence that he had to leave made him a little disappointed not getting to see what was going to happen, but Minseok realized leaving those two alone would fasten the process.

"Hyung, are you sure he's into guys?" Sehun sat down with him for a coffee in the nearby café, looking somewhat delighted and confused. "I heard he'd just gotten out of a long relationship, but that's all I got."

"It's almost four years since he's had a serious relationship." From what Minseok could see anyway. "And, um... Well, Kim Jongdae is a nice guy – he'd probably get into anything if you push him hard enough. I'm only telling you this because you actually take him seriously."

"Aish~ Hyung! Of course, I am. I'm not some asshole, alright?" The older smiled at the frustrated kid blowing bubbles in his own coffee as Sehun added, "So he's never been with guys before, huh?"

"I had been friends with him long enough to know that he's daring to try."

"If you say so... Ah~~"

The kid rested his head on the table and swirled the spoon in his coffee lazily. Minseok couldn't tell what the kid was mumbling about, but he assumed the younger had gotten himself in a deep hole he couldn't possibly get out, daydreaming about the sharp jawline he kept pestering Minseok about for quite some time.

"Hyung..." After ten minutes of playing with his now probably inedible coffee, Sehun finally said something.

"Um."

"What happened between you and him? You were really good friends... No one knew what happened at all." Hands clawing at biceps, cutely begging Minseok. "I promise I wouldn't tell anyone, please."

Minseok had always like the cold AC air on his skin; the heat of summer and the swaying breeze of spring. Jongdae, on the other hand, liked none of it; the younger was more sensitive and jumpy about everything. Cold days for Minseok was a breeze of fresh air while for Jongdae, they were freezing winter; all Minseok needed was a warm flannel and a pair of jeans, as opposed to the kitty face boy, he required a full winter attire.

He would tell others that the cold bothered him if it was too much – not like Jongdae. Even working passively with Jongdae, Minseok could tell that the AC was killing him as the younger tried to look unbothered and stilled his gestures to make sure no one caught him shaking like a skinny leaf.

That had always been Jongdae.

That had always been his temperament.

"Fine, I won't ask no more." Sehun snapped him out of the trance, blowing air in Minseok's face. "You, though... You're looking real bubbly these days." The kid poked at his cheeks teasingly.

"I – I do?" Immediately, he stopped sipping his orange juice trying to avoid choking and spilling anything on his suit since he had a meeting with an important client this evening. Most importantly, he needed to pick Jayoung up this evening.

"Yeah, you're more verbal these days. Didn't you notice? Oh, back then, you barely answer anything I asked." It finally dawned on him that it wasn't just Sehun who started to talk more. "I know you probably still wouldn't want to tell me why, so don't stress too much, hyung. Just know that I like you this way."

Minseok sat silently in his car parked on the other side of the road near the front gate of Jayoung's high school, waiting for her. The kid did message him in advance that there were a surprise quiz and something needed to be done.

_I'm not that different from before, am I?_

It felt like it'd always been this way – how he lived his life. At least before the Cha family stepped into his life.

"Oppa, sorry for the wait."

For a second, he thought he saw Soyoung once more. She hadn't been too harsh on him after a little bit of recollecting. Rion and Jongdae, on the other hand, hadn't been on her good side. Minseok remembered having to drag Jongdae out of the hospital, so he could let the kid beat him up in the alleyway while Rion demanded all of his attention at such an unreasonable time.

"Oppa?"

"Um?"

"Nothing. Let's go to Chef."

Yixing, of course, could no longer see him as the older man jumped into Jayoung's arms the moment she extended them, not caring about the other customers watching. Jayoung just giggled at his childish shenanigans all the while Minseok was watching them uncomfortably.

"Don't worry, buddy. I didn't forget you." Before he could register what was happening, Minseok was in the air and squeezed impossibly tight by the Chinese. "Come, come. Your table is ready."

"Ah, so this is your favorite table, huh?" It was the third floor, the one table on the rooftop. They would be having dinner under the moonlight. "Wah... So romantic."

Of course, the kid didn't mean that kind of romantic, but that did somehow trouble him in a way he couldn't put a finger on. Anyone seeing this could say that the view was extremely breathtaking and over the top.

"Well, only I get to eat here."

It made sense. There was only one table on the rooftop. Besides the stunning view of the night sky, the set up wasn't all that great since he only really came here to drink alone or with Yixing. The Chinese man was nice enough to provide him with special customer privilege – not exactly first class, but he really appreciated the silence up here.

"Ooh, VIP-oppa," Jayoung whispered through the chilly air and gave him two thumbs up thus approving the seating.

"Wait, here." Going over to Jayoung, he took off his black bomber jacket and draped it over her shoulders while tucking his long jacket under her legs. She already had her grey hoodie over her uniform, but he wanted to make sure. "So, you won't get cold."

"Thank you." The kid didn't really look up to him, so he went back to his seat. "What about you?"

"I like it this way."

"One of these days, you're going to get sick – you know that right?"

"Well, either way, it's worth it."

As they spent the rest of the evening enjoying Chinese food, Minseok brought up the topic of him leaving for Tokyo – a trip to a Japanese client. Jayoung did ask about his occupation. He was supposed to work under his brother as counsel, but the man refused. Minseok didn't want to work for just his own family.

Being a consultant was his profession. Not everyone had to be a business to hire him. As long as their request and their payment were reasonable, he'd go for it.

"So in a way... you're freelancing." The girl didn't eat much of the food on the table; instead, she walked around the rooftop and once in a while turning to watch him eat.

"Yes, when I'm not freelancing, I work for my brother."

Chaebols. It was nice to live when you were born into a rich family although it did have its ups and downs, this couldn't be compared to the pain others had to bear to even get halfway through life. Minseok had his own office in his family company even if the man was a freelancer. He was a consultant after all. He was an everyman, and he was happy that way.

"Ah~~ Let's say a troubled superstar hired you... What do you do?"

"Well, that depends on what problems they have. If they find it hard to face their scandals, then I would tell them what to do and how to deal with the problems while also rebuilding their confidence, especially morality if they have it - that is." That reminded Minseok of a certain president of a company whose sex scandal went out of whack, and he had to help him confront the troubles. He wasn't exactly a good guy per se, but there were some redeeming qualities.

Minseok had to dive deep into social problems, studying liberal arts just to get a basic understanding of society and human beings. Philosophy, psychology, therapy, and psychotherapy were the subjects he had to cover, but he only got a degree in business and psychology; the rest were online certificates, seminars, and self-taught materials.

"Wow, so you must know a lot about how people work, huh?" It was adorable to see her swaying in his long black jacket that was too big for her.

"Not the complicated ones though."

He finally finished the big bowl of the infamous hot spicy chicken soup Yixing was known for. The refreshing cola was a welcomed taste washing down the excess food. It'd been a while since he ate at Yixing's because of Jayoung's food - not that he didn't like hers. He just missed his old friend.

"But you must have met thousands of people by now." Jayoung was now leaning against the railing as she stopped looking at the pretty stars for a moment, staring at him curiously.

"Yes, only those who asked for help. Those who didn't are the ones I find hard to understand." Minseok approached the girl but kept a good arm's length, not wanting to make the situation weird or awkward. "Most of them are heavily layered. They take a very long time for me to get through. Sometimes, they don't even give me a chance at all."

"What about my sister?"

If he had a drink with him, he would've spilled it everywhere.

"What was my sister like when I wasn't around?"

When he noticed her intense stare, Minseok just sighed deeply and turned away to watch the busy road below them. He, of all people, should know that this was going to happen. It was going to come up at one point. The problem was he didn't know if this was the right time. She acted very differently towards grief, unlike many people he had met and helped.

Of course, he'd seen others handle grief this way, but this was a kid asking questions and not backing down. He was used to discussing things with adults, and it was concerning to see Jayoung acting like an adult while she was only 17. Every time he talked to her, he felt like talking to a 26-year-old adult.

She grew up too fast.

What happened?

"She was a bit pessimistic, to say the least."

Jayoung laughed at this remark. "Understandable."

"I'll say this upfront now that I won't be able to tell you the whole picture yet, but –" Minseok paused briefly analyzing what he had said to make sure that she wouldn't get the wrong idea. "She was angry. But when you came up, she always turned back to herself again. I don't understand your parents wouldn't let you see her, but ..."

"Did I make it worse?"

"No, no. Definitely not. You have nothing to do with her sickness." He could feel her shivered against the railing not at the cold but his words. "I think you made it easier for her."

"I did?"

When he looked back at her, innocent eyes needing guidance were tearing up. Finally, she was starting to act like a kid. "You did."

It was quiet for a long while when she talked again.

"My parents didn't like what I wanted to do, but my sister always pushed me to do it, so... my parents – they –"

"It's fine. I get it."

The girl tried to keep her voice low as she whimpered through tears. Minseok didn't want to stand there doing nothing, so he extended a hand and brought her closer. As he gingerly tapped his fingers on her back, he could tell her walls were slowly crumbling. If she opened up a bit more, it'd be easier for both of them to help each other with the healing process. And maybe he could finally see Soyoung in a different light.

On the way home, he caught glimpses of the kid falling asleep to the calm radio music with cherry-red eyes tired from all of the crying. Seeing her head resting on the glass window, Minseok slowed down every time a bump came up – afraid to wake her up.

He felt unease the rest of the way, seeing her this way the first time was hard; seeing the second time didn't really make it better.

_"Promise me. Promise me you'll protect her."_

He'd like to say he'd done a good job with her cooking lessons, but everything else just didn't cut it. He could secure a company from going bankrupt with his fancy intellect and prestigious degrees and a Ph.D., but this was hard. For the first time, he was the speechless one.

At home, Minseok picked her up bridal style and brought her to his study, lying her down on the windowsill. His eyes stayed on her vulnerable face a bit longer than he intended to. He didn't want to step into the girl's room without permission, so this was the next best thing. Moreover, this was where she fell asleep most of the time anyway. After draping a blanket over her, he sat down, leaning against the bookshelf close to her.

_"The one thing you could do for me? Just protect her."_

The haunting voice somehow lured him to sleep despite his chaotic mind. The last thing on his mind before he dozed off was Jayoung smiling at him. 

☘️

☘️

The moment she opened her eyes, she could feel the slightly swollen bags under them. Confusion flooded her system for a good minute as she registered the fact that she was sleeping on the windowsill when the last thing she remembered the night before was being in the car with Minseok.

Drawing the blanket back, she wasn't able to appreciate the warmth and scenery around her; the man lying next to the bookshelf near the end of her foot. He was still in the same suit – it must have been difficult for him. Worry washed over her despite the tiredness she was feeling. Questions were firing at herself as to what happened? Did he get sick? He looked uncomfortable sleeping on the floor; was he okay?

Nevertheless, she unknowingly curved her lips at the drooling adult lying on his own left arm.

"Urgh."

Minseok was moving in his sleep, and the noise surprised her, so she hid in the blanket before Minseok caught her staring if he was awake, which was weird. Why should she hide this way from him? She could be awake or asleep however she liked; why did this matter?

His footsteps closing in was enough to get her heart beat faster, making her sweat under the heat. All of a sudden, she could feel the light on her face the moment he gently tore the blanket away. Jayoung kept still and tried not to make it obvious she was awake. More importantly, though, why did he do that?

She didn't even realize her hair was messy until fingers started tracing her forehead pushing strands from her face. They lingered on her temple longer than she'd expected.

"Jayoung-ah?" A mere whisper seemingly close to her ears propped her to peek through her lashes. "Is there anything you want to eat?"

Of course, the fridge was still void of food. She should refill it. Should she go with Minseok? "Oh? Um..."

When he stopped patting her head and sat down to her eye level, she found that to be a little distracting. Perhaps she was too quiet?

His hair had always looked so blonde from root to end. Wouldn't the chemicals get through to his scalp by now? "Bread."

The word appeared to have put a smile on his face. "Ah, that's my favorite. Haven't eaten that in a while." All of a sudden, he seemed to be okay with the proximity as he laid his hand on her forehead. "I'll drive you to school so take your time."

"It's okay. Today there's a school event – no class."

"Right, right. You're working today. Do you still want a ride?"

Jayoung timidly shook her head while hugging the blanket close.

There wasn't much going on in this relationship or marriage; although they hadn't signed any paperwork making it official just yet, there were subtle changes. He was getting much closer to her than she had previously thought they could. And she was being very open. Even though opening up had gotten her this far, she feared that it could also be her weakness.

It was 7:45 am when they heard the doorbell. Luckily, Jayoung was just in time she got out of her room, properly dressed.

"Ooh, Cha Jayoung, hi hi!" she honestly didn't expect Jimin to find Minseok's house, but then again he was one of the few families who knew about the wedding.

"Hi hi!" His green tee matched her green mini skirt perfectly. Today, her school held a STEM event where many scientists got the opportunity to show off their skills and inventions, and it turned out that Jimin was also one of the volunteers. "I'll get you some tea."

"Nah, it's fine. Let's just go."

Minseok was tightening his tie when he walked out and saw the pink-haired boy. The crazy hair color was a part of his many quirks. Jimin did reassure his parents that it was just a liberating color for hair in the fashion industry; in reality, he was still gay and the hair was one of the few things he could change to his likings.

"Oh, I forgot. How rude of me. I'm Park Jimin, one of the Park family and her old friend."

The kid bowed to the man, who had just realized the connections. "Of course, I'm Minseok." Jimin stopped short on the smiling part though, which seemed to bother Minseok a little. "You two looked good together."

There was hesitance in Minseok's voice and of course, knowing Jimin, Jayoung was quick to get a hold of his arm and dragged him off the house.

"How dare you –"

"Jimin, just stop."

Of course, Jimin spent the entire ride to school whining about Minseok and his 'inconsiderate' words.

"Ya, Cha Jayoung! Your husband just said you looked good with another man – how the hell could you not get mad at that?"

"Ay... it's... whatever." Jayoung honestly didn't know what to think about this. They weren't that close. They just lived in the same house; that was all. There was nothing wrong with that.

"Goodness, you're so hopelessly positive that sometimes it's stupid." A deep sigh from her best friend was enough to tell her that he was deeply disappointed and angry – his normal self.

"We're not like that –"

"I don't care if you like each other or not. The thing here is that it's extremely rude to say those kinds of things, and he, of all people, should know that."

She was about to cut him off that he was being a bit overreacting when he lifted his finger – a sign he always used to stop her from interrupting.

"If I were to say that he looked better with another woman than with you, how would you feel?"

With that thought in mind, Jayoung blankly stared out the window.

They remained silent throughout the whole ride.

The day went on – not exactly without a hitch. The volunteer work was tiring. Surprisingly, it didn't really trouble her as much as what Jimin had said. She was turning 18 in two months, and Minseok was surrounded by professional women. In reality, both of them lived very different lives with those who had much more in common with them both.

No, they weren't in that kind of relationship; they shouldn't be complaining, but then she remembered the fact that Minseok once had a relationship with the blonde woman, Rion, and she was her sister's best friend. Maybe, it was about time she knew what was up to the woman.

After finishing up on her work, she went to change into more comfortable clothing – a white tee and a pair of navy jeans. She took a deep and breath and called Rion.

Sunday morning this week at Yixing's. There wasn't much to talk about except for the arrangement, for now.

Jayoung felt out of place after the call, put off by action – not fully understanding why.

Before going back home, the girl dropped by Yixing's to pick up his delicious dumplings and some free ramen. The elder was inquisitive about her spacing out this particular day, making her flustered at her own thoughts. She couldn't help feeling a little down thinking about Minseok in his working environment. The age gap was one thing, but the current situation was even more troubling.

He was a professional; she was still going to school. Jimin didn't make this any easier for her when he showed her other possibilities she hadn't really considered. Having no boyfriend was, of course, an advantage while surviving in the strict academic lives; fortunately, she, too, wasn't interested in any relationship as she feared that it could elude her passion and drive to do well academically.

Of course, there were advances from the guys at school – almost half of her classmates confessed to her, asking for her attention and love. In her much much younger years, she could say that she couldn't accept it because her parents would definitely not approve, but really, the main problem was that she didn't think it was of any importance. Romantic love was something of a foreign entity to her – something she couldn't possibly grasp. Her young mind didn't understand the intense feelings or what they meant.

However, now, after countless dramas, movies, and love songs, rejecting confession had a new meaning to her rather than just not understanding love but an inconvenience. She had seen her classmates' eventual drop in their scores and performances due to the boyfriend-girlfriend thing. Seeing this, she wanted to avoid it. For now, studying was her undertaking until then she couldn't look further into what she wanted except cooking.

On the other hand, Minseok was different. He didn't have anything to block him anymore. He worked in a profitable field and earned a lot of respect; it wouldn't be surprising if that also attracted love interests.

She ate dinner that night thinking about all of the other possibilities when she stopped herself. The moment Rion popped in her head, Jayoung shook it off. Why would she be worried about Minseok at this point? He was a capable man and could handle himself just fine.

It was 11:27 pm when his footsteps woke her up.

Normally, she would sleep through the night just fine, but in the end, her uneasiness got the best of her. She finally admitted that Jimin was kind of right, and at the moment, she was upset about Minseok's missteps – not as much as Jimin was but a little saddened she felt.

For the next thirty minutes, Jayoung tried to fall asleep but this thought kept her up, so she decided to get up and go freshen up a bit to clear her head.

That was long forgotten when she noticed the food on the kitchen table was still untouched. Normally, Minseok would be either eating it or putting it back in the fridge if he didn't have the appetite.

It was then she discovered the man lying on the couch with his fill attire – tie, jacket, pants, shoes – everything was still on him as he laid there motionless.

"Oppa?"

Sweats drenched his face and seemingly his clothing that even the air con couldn't do its job all that well. Jayoung rushed to his side and kneeled to take a closer look at the man.

She could see trembles in his hands; his teeth chattered. Placing her hand gingerly on his forehead, the heat was immediate. Jayoung couldn't resist touching his brightly bleached hair and discovered the sticky strands were dry and rough probably because of the hot sweat.

Saying 'I told you so' wouldn't be very appropriate, so Jayoung just sighed and solemnly watched the man breathing heavily through the cold or perhaps flu.

After going through her stash of first aid box, she came back with two pieces of cloth and a pot of water with a bag of meds. She reached for her phone and asked Jimin to do an emergency run for a bowl of good healing porridge. The boy practically screamed at her for not looking at the time, but he complied anyway despite his tiredness from the day's volunteer work.

They did promise to help each other in time of need after all, plus this would be a good chance for Jimin to make up for lost times.

"Hmm..." soft groans left his lips as she tried her best to lift him high enough so she could take off his black jacket and his navy vest. "Jayoung-ah..."

"Ne." His eyes weren't looking at her. Minseok clearly wasn't asleep, but he was probably high on fever, not sure if he was actually awake or not. The girl just continued to take off his shoes and started to cool him off with the wet cloth.

When Jimin turned up with the porridge, he helped her out with plates and water and brought them to her. While he went upstairs to pick up a blanket from Minseok's room, Jayoung propped Minseok's head on the arm of the couch and began feeding him spoons of porridge before finally giving him the cold meds.

Jimin left unannounced, leaving Jayoung to focus on the man in front of her.

As she spent the rest of the night cooling him down, she contemplated if Minseok could handle himself at all.

☘️

He remembered the first time he was stuck in a trance. He was 20 when it happened. A girl walked by him, hurrying somewhere. They bumped into each other. She continued on her way, but he stared. Minseok always blamed himself for that stare. It was way too simple – almost cringingly cliché.

This time though was different.

He didn't know how long had passed, but there he was, looking at the small hand holding his. Jayoung was leaning against the sofa as her head rested comfortably on his thigh. She must have been here all night.

Smiling at the situation right now would be inappropriate, but he couldn't help himself. Just the other night she had to deal with him getting drunk; now, she had to take care of him getting sick. He rarely got despite the things he subjected himself to, but these days the magic seemed to be losing its power.

So her hair was as soft as he imagined it to be. The chestnut color suited her well. For a second, he thought he was staring at a painting. This was too good to be true.

Suddenly, he felt the stiff cloth on his forehead and pushed it off his face.

The glass table in front of the sofa had never been occupied with so much stuff – food and medicines. He tried lifting his head to look around and spotted a few potted plants he had noticed before on the windowsill, in the corner, on the kitchen table, and the fridge.

The gray in this house became the backdrop for these colorful plants.

"Oppa," she croaked, "Are you feeling better?"

He just watched her craned her neck to take a better look at him.

"You fever was acting up last night. See? I called it – you getting sick."

His left hand closed hers the moment she tried to let go. "Thank you."

Of course, he expected her to be thrown off guard. The slight raise of her brow and the sudden close of her lips said a lot. The hair sticking out from the side, the tiny wrinkles on her forehead – he noticed a lot of things.

"Oh, it's fine." He could feel her delicate hand tried to wiggle out of his clutch, but he held on to it.

"No one had ever taken care of me like this before." There was a strain to keep his eyes open, but it wasn't as hard as last night. He saw the change in her eyes; for a split second, she wanted to blink but didn't. "No one paid this much attention."

There was an element of surprise, but somehow it looked like he said something wrong.

"I'll go get a new cloth for you." Jayoung hurriedly picked up the fallen piece of cloth and disappeared into the bathroom.

Her face should be red and burning from the flattery, except she looked shocked more than anything. Did his delivery make it sound different? Did she get the wrong context?

Then something hit him hard like a brick.

_What?_

_Why did I even do that in the first place?_

The man sluggishly grabbed a fist of his head and tugged it from the roots. He didn't even have that much strength to even hurt himself.

_I must have scared her._

At least he wasn't in as much pain as last night. The previous night did take a toll on him after all. He shook it off and stared at the brightly lit room. The shining sunrays were giving him a headache. Well, that seemed unusually intense for an early morning.

_Wait a minute._

11:48 am.

"Oppa, again, please don't sit up like that." Jayoung tried to push him back to lie down, but he stayed rigid on the couch, ignoring the ringing in his head.

"It's almost 12."

"Ne."

"It's Wednesday."

The girl nodded enthusiastically.

"Wh- what about work? Hold on, what about you? School?"

"It's fine. I took care of everything. I called in sick – not lying exactly, I mean I am kind of tired the whole night," his feet started shaking while the girl's calmness weirdly made him even more unnerved. "I called in sick for you, too."

His googly eyes went wide. His shy pointer finger poked his own cheek.

"Ne, what do you expect me to do? Leave you to go to work? In this condition?"

"But I have work to do. You can't just do that to me. That's – that's-"

Jayoung's delicate hands grabbed a whole of his shoulders and shook him into focus.

"Oppa, just two hours ago, you were going from hot to cold. 35 then 41 Celsius," he could tell she was trying to not break apart. "You don't even remember that it happened at all. You think you could think straight through that?"

Words became muffled after she'd said 'two hours ago'. His senses had never been this heightened. The smell of fish and vegetable mixed was weak; he got a whiff of it from time to time, but her hair probably a hint of sweat and apple. Her fingers suddenly felt more than just a squeeze. She spoke with a tired and hoarse voice. Eyes full of concern and disbelieve shed its light brown color with so much clarity he could almost see himself in her eyes.

"Oppa? Oh, you're out of it again," sighed Jayoung.

_You're so close._

"Don't worry. I got you."

_You got me?_

It was weird when time resumed its pace – no longer slowed down.

"Um, so you called in sick for me... Who..." Minseok decided to just shake it off.

"Ah, Kim Jongdae-ajussi."

The water she made him drink spilled all over his lap.

"Omo, are you okay?" She frantically wiped the water away. This action should be considered illegal, but to whom did she call in sick for him again?

"Who?" For a second, his voice was higher than he thought possible.

"Kim Jongdae-ajusshi. What? Do I have to call him opp- Wait, no... I don't know him, so... it's fine."

"Of all people... why?" a defeated whisper this time. After three years of no communication, he had to be the one who called him first? And for what? A day off? "Why him?"

After making him swallow a few more pills, she sat down next to him, leaning comfortably against the soft fabric. "What? Did you two have a fight or something?"

_Hmm, understatement of the year._

"Honestly, I just don't know who to call. There were so many phone numbers in there, it almost gave me another headache. So I thought _ah~~ these are probably your colleagues._ "

_And you picked Jongdae?_

"He's on your speed dial."

Minseok just silently mimicked her and lay back on the couch, wondering if Jongdae still kept his number on speed dial.

He still remembered the first time he actually got in trouble for just standing around and being framed for robbing. It was hard to argue and prove himself since the way he dressed wasn't exactly civilized-like. Calling his brother would be stupid; his parents? Even worst.

Jongdae came out of his way to get him out, almost punch the one who got robbed in anger. That would've been very regressive, so Minseok just stopped him. His high-pitched voice screamed at everyone in the place asking why would his friend be the culprit if he didn't even have a cent on him.

The warmth Jongdae's place offered in his time of need was one that could've melted his heart a million times over. He could still feel that same comfy hospitality every time he thought about it.

"Let's go to Chef, oppa. He'll cook us something." She checked the thermometer and showed him his now normal 37 Celsius body temperature. "You're still a little weak, but you can drive, right? Or should I call Jimin?"

Then again, compared to Jongdae, Jayoung was right on the same level. However, seeing the two of them literally right by each other's side, he cleared his throat and finally got up to the bathroom.

It wasn't right. Jongdae and Jayoung. It was too much.

"It's okay. I'll be fine after a shower."

It was an expected long drive since Jayoung told him to take his time and drive – something he didn't need a kid to explain to him, but somehow he kind of appreciated it. Why did he like getting scolded by a kid? It must have been the fever.

"Aiya~~ My student!"

Despite his sick and pale face, Yixing still managed to ignore his friend and went to hug Jayoung first.

"Hello? I'm the sick one." The old chef greeting the girl never failed to annoy him in the slightest.

"oh, please. You love my hugs now! Yay! Jayoung gave you a good wake up call, huh?" Before the old man could embrace him, Minseok just pushed his face away and took a seat by the window. "Well, today's special is seafood, so there isn't any porridge left."

"It's okay. I'll cook something else," Jayoung ran to the kitchen and put on an apron. Looking around the place for the appropriate ingredients, she rolled up her pink sweater's sleeves and tied up her hair in a bun. "Chef, what about the others?"

"Ah, I sent them to get the seafood and vegetables. They'll be back in a few hours." Sitting down with Minseok, Yixing just waved the girl off. "Use whatever you want in there. It's leftover anyway. Ow- What?"

Minseok did not approve. How dare he treat him with leftovers?

"Oh, please, your favorite food just some seaweed soup and ramen. You're not that fancy."

"Well, that's -"

Jayoung placed a glass of lukewarm lemon tea in front of him. "It's good for sore throats. Chef, you want anything?"

"Just tea."

The two of them just watched the girl in awe as she swiftly ran back and forth to get the tea and started working on whatever it was that would fill Minseok's stomach.

"Yah, you see how fast that was?" Yixing leaned back in amazement. "You got yourself a guardian angel, Umin-ah. Don't you ever let her go."

"We're not in that kind of relationship."

"Then why are you smiling sipping that tea? Give it!" Putting his own straw in Minseok's drink, the chef took a sip. "Wah~~ That's good."

"Right?"

"Dammit! You're changing the topic! What do you mean _not in that kind of rela-_ Screw that! You're so deep in this right now."

The impression he did of him was horrendous.

"Is there a stick up your ass or something?"

"It's not right."

She was the sister of the one who had passed away three years ago. The one he had caused so much pain. Moreover, the girl was just a kid. This was something he forgot from time to time, but seeing her freak out and cried the other reminded him of her innocence and youth. None of this was right.

"What? _It's not right?_ " Yixing took a deep breath and shook his head, turning his to the kitchen behind him. "Jayoung-ah, get Chef a beer, won't you?"

"Ye, Chef!"

"You know what you're doing right now, right? You haven't taken your eyes off her since stepping into this place."

"She hasn't cooked in a while. I rarely get to see her cook."

They stayed silent for a while when Jayoung appeared next to them with a six-pack of beer.

Yixing then went to lecture him how Minseok had been miserable for the last three years like he hadn't known about that. Now and again, the old man would down a glass of beer, and when Minseok tried to stop him, Yixing would just drink more.

"What? You still think you're the bad guy?"

_Sometimes._

"Look, I may have been her chef for a month or so, but I think I know some things about the girl, and if there's one thing I have to tell you, it's the fact that you two basically the same person." The moment Yixing started talking in Chinese, he knew the man meant it. "You're both dealing with the same problems, and you both deal with them the same way. Blaming yourselves."

"Why would she do that?" What was it she blamed herself for?

"She would ask you that same question, dummy." Looking out the window, Yixing continued with a small desperate voice. "She loves her sister. You love your brother. And although her parents weren't very supportive of this job, she talked about them with love just like you would."

Before Minseok could say anything else, Yixing turned to him with a grim look.

"And what else is the excuse, huh? She's a kid?"

"Yeah, seventeen and forced to an arranged marriage."

"Yah, both you and I know that she's more than just 17. What? You're afraid you'll be the bad guy?" Yixing moved his chair to sit right next to Minseok. "It's illegal if you like her because she's 17, alright? But you like her because she's Jayoung."

"I don't like her-"

"Hey, asshole, I've been your friend for 15 years. I can tell if you like someone or not. Right now, your face spelled guilty because you made her miss school on a Wednesday, but you don't even care that _you_ miss your beloved work."

"I'm just worried about her. That's all."

"Aiyoo... whatever is it you tell yourself. Just know that if you ever decided on liking her, don't feel guilty about anything. Plus, she's your wife, man. It's not like you could get away with it."

Everything Yixing said felt way too close to home, but his mind was always like that. He just cared for her. That was all. She was a kid, so he had to look after her. The things he'd done to her were just him showing concern for her and appreciation. Nothing more.

How would anyone like this arranged marriage thing? It could eat away at those who were against it. He saw what happened to Soyoung. He didn't want the same happening to Jayoung. Maybe he could do something.

However, looking at Jayoung now, Minseok could see the happiness she found in cooking. The small stature seemed delighted, but was she the same when she wasn't cooking? When she was around him?

He watched the girl wholeheartedly handle her food with care and placed the porridge she'd made in front of him.

"You have to finish the whole bowl since you haven't eaten any breakfast yet."

It was then when he heard shuffling behind him.

"Chef, we got everything."

"Oh, It's the little one!"

"Hey, Yongyong!"

"Ne, hello, sunbae!"

"Wah~ Newbie is using our kitchen? Wait, is that food you made?"

There were so many men hovering around pushing the girl to feed them. It was insane.

"Yah, Zhang Yixing, I thought her cooking was only between us." Minseok grabbed a fist of the pristine Chef uniform's collar.

"Well, it's my restaurant, plus you didn't say anything about your co-workers."

"Aish!" Minseok stopped himself before smacking the ego right out of the Chinese man when he heard a small giggle from Jayoung and tons of deep chuckles from the men.

"Delicious!"

"See? That's why being under my wings can make you better-"

"Eh! You didn't teach her nothing but showing off that you're better than a kid."

"I was teaching her the lessons of humility."

First of all, why were all of them so tall and muscular? Well, there was a short one like him, but why did his voice sound so much like honey?

"Oh, sunbae, is that the new uniform?"

"Wah! Yongyong is the best! Finally, only a prodigy would notice how handsome I am."

"Oh, please, there are only a few prodigies in the world. You'll die alone."

Second of all, why were they touching her so much? That redhead was playing with her hair for too long.

All of a sudden, Minseok felt a light smack on his cheek. "The five of them are my workers. Don't worry. You know how I choose my employees. That's Chanyeol, the redhead; Kim Kai, the giggling one; Kris, the rude one; Tao, the girlish one, and The Devil, Kyungsoo."

Right... That Kyungsoo was way too quiet and lurking around Jayoung all the time. Why did he have to have the same chestnut hair like her?

"Don't sweat it, Umin-ah. They're just looking after her."

"No, they're not! They're too close to her."

"Oh, and you looking after her is okay then?"

Minseok just sent the old a glare that would probably follow him to hell and back.

"Fine! Fine! I'll get them off her." Yixing just burst out laughing and slapped Minseok in the back. "Dammit! You! It's about time we start working! Why the hell are you still standing around? Chanyeol! You do the octopus and the crabs. Kris, Kai, you prepare the vegetables. Tao, you work on the sauce. Kyungsoo, prepare the soup! Jayoung, you go put the sign outside. Let's go!"

"YE, CHEF!" A harmonious military-like response from the six people in the kitchen.

At least they stopped hanging around her.

Jayoung came back into the restaurant and sat down next to him.

"Wow, you finished fast."

It was then that Minseok realized he had been angrily shoving food down his throat for no particular reason.

"We're leaving!"

"But we rarely get to see Yongyong!"

A groan of disappointment echoed in the kitchen, but Yixing's voice cut them all off and scolded at them while he sent Minseok a wink on the way out.

"Oppa, are you okay? It's the fever again, isn't it?" The girl watched him hurriedly started the car out of concern.

"Yeah, probably."

_Definitely. It's definitely the fever._

❤

❤

The girl watched in curiosity as the man drove away from the restaurant in a hurry. "Oppa, slow down, you're still..."

"Right, I'm sorry."

It was rare to see him in just a white dress shirt. He was always in jackets or full attire. His blond hair covered his forehead. When his dark brows knitted, he had the habit to also bite his lips. It was also nice that he didn't wear any cologne. Somehow, male cologne was probably close to Thermo Dynamics when it came to understanding what it was and why it had to be that way.

"Is something troubling you?"

"Uh, no."

"Then, why did we have to leave so early?" sighed Jayoung. She was hoping to watch her Sunbae cook and work together as a lesson. Chef was nice enough to introduce them to her just weeks ago. They didn't work on Sundays, so the chance of being with them was small. Saturdays, she couldn't stay long enough to watch them. "I was hoping to introduce you to Sunbae."

Of course, Minseok would ask about them. Even if he didn't notice the disappointed sigh she made, he still looked interested in the topic. Then again, when did he ever not look interested in anything she said? That information weirdly hit her. No, the man's job was to listen and give advice. He was a great listener after all.

Surprised to know that Minseok wasn't exactly friends with the Sunbae, Jayoung began info-dumping on the man.

Kris sunbae was always quiet; he seemed a little rude sometimes, but his actions were always the opposite. The guy would scold her for forgetting to wear gloves then proceeded to help her put them on while also telling her to be careful.

Chanyeol sunbae was the middleman. He was kind of like Kris sunbae except for the rude part and scolding part – and also the quiet part. Actually, he was the opposite of Kris. The man was just helpful in general and always looking after her.

Tao sunbae was nonchalant about her. He didn't really care much about her presence.

The girl paused for a few seconds when she noticed Minseok stopped frowning, an act he had been doing for quite a while, and smiled.

"Tao, his name?" she nodded to his question. "I like."

Continuing onto Kai sunbae, she laughed remembering the poor man getting pranked into asking out a girl. The man just wanted to be gay alone and everyone had to pester him. However, she decided not to say this and told Minseok that Sunbae didn't really focus much on her like Tao.

"Kyungsoo sunbae look after me the most. Well, he is Sous Chef, so Chef must have asked him to do that. Oppa, please stop gripping the wheel so hard."

Maybe making him drive while he was still on drugs wasn't a good idea. However, he did seem okay. His skin color came back alive and he was more active than just a few hours ago.

A squeaky noise definitely came from Minseok since they were the only people in the car, and she knew that it wasn't her. The girl didn't mean to startle him, but she just had to poke him; seeing him still and stiff like that reminded her of her sister. In this case, it wasn't exactly a good reminiscence.

She knew that his hand recoiled at her touch due to surprise, but her reflexes told her otherwise.

Breathing heavily and almost smashing her face against the glass window, Jayoung tried concentrating on the passing building in her sight. The buildings appeared slower as she felt the car was slowing down to a halt.

Some words went right out the other side of her ear. Some things in front looked as if they appeared out of nowhere. The air conditioning suddenly smelt of order to her.

"Jayoung? Jayoung-ah?"

Minseok looked at her expectantly. Thankfully he gave her space and didn't touch her while she tried to breathe. Wordlessly, she let the glass window down to feel the air outside the car. Windows usually were the only things that connected her to the outside world.

"I'm good. I'm good." The car felt less claustrophobic now. "It must have been lack of sleep."

"You sure? Do you want to go to the doctor? For a second there, I thought you had a panic attack. Oh no, did I infect you? I did, didn't I?"

She turned to Minseok with a smile – a drained, but a genuine one. Trying to explain that it wasn't his fault that she didn't get enough sleep, the girl had a guilty pleasure of watching him trying to care for her and taking the blame for himself. Things like this didn't always happen; all the more reason to savor it.

She didn't even hear Minseok's phone ringing until he picked it up.

"Uh, what? No, why should I?" She could hear the frantic voice pushing Minseok. It was then Minseok cast her a worried glance. "Well, it's risky – come on, you of all people know it's a dangerous place for me– oh, fine! Fine! We'll go!"

Minseok smiled at her as if he hadn't been shouting frustrating things at whoever had just disturbed him.

"My friend called. He wanted us to check out his place. I think you're going to like it." Before she could ask him anything, he beat her to it. "It's a park. A kind of park, anyway. I think you'll like it more than I would."

There was a type of uneasiness in the air, but it would've been worse if he had kept pressing on.

The place was on the other side of the city, Jungang-Ro.

They walked out of the parking lot with hands in their pockets; they were both sick and out of it after all.

The girl had never been to this place before. This side of the city was completely new to her. As they approach the huge stadium in front of them, Jayoung breathed out the warm air and read the huge sign outside.

**Animal Fun: World Dog Park**

Minseok was arguing with probably the same person had called earlier on the phone once more, telling him that he was close. Jayoung, on the other hand, stopped on her track long ago. When Minseok realized her missing presence, he ran back to her with a worried look.

"Oppa, is that what I think it is?"

"Oh..." He seemed relieved at her question. What was it he thought she was going to say? "Yes, it is. It's a dog park."

She let the man lead her to the entrance and marveled at the many dogs running, jumping, and playing around on the field in front of her.

"Of course, there are other animals if you don't like dogs. Rabbits, goats, cats, turtles –"

"For god's sake, Kim! It's a tortoise! There is a difference!"

A bleached hair man popped up, locking his arms around Minseok's neck comfortably. His bright yellow shirt and the white pants weren't really for her eyes; they were blinding. Everything about him was blinding. He looked like he was in his mid-twenties, but knowing Minseok's group of friends, she expected the man to be quite older despite the youthful looks.

"Just because I can't tell them apart doesn't mean I hate animals."

"Shut your face, Kim. You disappoint me." Playing with Minseok's hair, the younger-looking man managed to make her feel envious. She, too, kind of want to touch that hair without a sweat. It was just so bright and blond. "Ah, you must be Xing's protégé."

"Hello, I'm K... " She quickly cleared her throat as if she was actually choked on her saliva. "Excuse me. I'm Cha Jayoung."

"Ne, I'm Byun Baekhyun-oppa." He returned the same deep respectful bow she did to him and grabbed hold of her hand, shaking it lightly.

Wow, his hands were so soft. For a second there, she thought she was holding a woman's hands. There were some thick veins, but his skin felt so alive. If Minseok, Suho, that guy bringing drunk Minseok home, and Chef were vampires, then Baekhyun must be a mermaid or an angel? Thinking about mermaids and angels, her Sunbae were also too young for their age, especially Chanyeol-sunbae. She almost lost her footing when Chef whispered to her his real age, 32. He was older than Minseok but managed to look like he was in his late twenties. This generation of men she met these days looked way too pretty for some reason.

"Jayoung?" Baekhyun gingerly patted her head, snapping her from her trance. "Oppa too pretty for you?"

"You're not her oppa." Minseok's voice pulled her back to the park.

"Right. You're the oppa. Got it!" A mischievous wink for Minseok from Baekhyun. She should be feeling embarrassed; however, the sound of dogs squealing and barking in the distance drew her to a more important goal. "Sunbae, just Sunbae. Oh?"

"Ne, Baekhyun-sunbae."

"Come on, sweetie. Let's go to the field."

For the next hour and a half, she got to play with so many types of dogs. Her favorite one must be the white fluffy Korean Jindo, Bongbong. The little was just a fluff ball full of life and happiness; she just wanted to protect it forever. Playing fetch with corgis was also one of the highlights. Its squishy butt was a spectacle as it tried to follow the ball.

From time to time, she could see Minseok waved at her from the resting bench. The poor guy must have been feeling the sickness all this time while she played. When she started to feel bad for him and wanted to bring a dog over, Minseok knelt to an approaching rainbow dashing across the field. Seeing a golden retriever snuggled up against his side as he gave it a satisfying petting melted her heart a little.

"That's actually his dog, Chenchen." Baekhyun appeared beside an adorable 2-month-old German shepherd, cradling it in his arms and scratching its neck. "She couldn't live in the house with him, so he just left her here."

The pure sunshine attacked Minseok with so much licking and biting. Poor dog. She must have missed him so much every day, living apart from him like that. An adorable squeal from the little German shepherd distracted her from Minseok.

"He hasn't got a name yet. You can name him."

"Omo, but Sunbae-"

"Come on. You did so much for Minseok. This is just a little thank you."

"Wait, you mean..." For Minseok? What did she do?

"Well, you can't adopt it or anything, but it'll stay here, and like Minseok, you can just visit it whenever you want." She forgot all about the other dogs and brought the small puppy close to her face. "Except Mondays, of course. I need my break time."

"Chan."

"Chan?"

"Chan."

"Poetic."

She then just attacked Baekhyun with the biggest hug she'd ever given to anyone. "Thank you so much, sunbae. Thank you so much."

"Just don't forget that Chan exists."

"Chan."

The puppy had been fixating its gaze on her, seemingly understanding its own name now. Such innocent round eyes were enough to clear away all of the problems. As she gave it a gentle scratch and loving pets on its head, Chan slowly began wagging its tail more rapidly out of happiness.

"Hey, I'm sorry, but it's almost five."

Jayoung just gave a soft, contented smile back at the flushed man.

"We could still take a detour – grocery shopping if you want."

"Yes, please." She hadn't been cooking at home for quite a while now. Minseok's kind and gentle gaze made her want to cook the most delicious soup and feed him forever. "Bye, Chan-ah." She made sure to give the warmest kisses to Chan, excited to come back and see him.

They journeyed their way back to the parking lot. Jayoung asked Minseok if she could return here from time to time. His voice was reluctant when he questioned if it was because of Baekhyun. Why would she go back there for Baekhyun? It was a dog park; of course, she was going to return for the dogs.

A nervous laugh escaped his lips and she realized hadn't really heard him laugh before. Maybe, Chenchen could help her out with that.

She, then, asked if he had a favorite dog in the park, and obviously, he cracked open like a beer bottle. Describing her features to Jayoung excitedly, Minseok suddenly became a kid showing off his pet. Cute.

When he placed his hand on her shoulder and rambled on about Chenchen, she realized another thing that he wasn't exactly close to her until now. The man had always kept himself distant.

"I forgot all about you when she came up to me." Finally, he let out a genuine laugh and she found herself laughing with him although there wasn't exactly anything funny about it.

"Oppa," she stopped in her tracks and grabbed hold of the hand on her shoulder. "Thank you. Thank you for the cooking and the dogs."

Minseok stared back at her for a while when he let out an unexpected hiccup. "Oh, it's –nothing.." His ears were burning red maybe because of the annoying hiccups.

By now she was squeezing his cold hand; she didn't understand she wanted to mirror his actions, but she just felt the need to return the touch.

"Let's hurry back. You need water to kill those hiccups." Poking his side shyly, Jayoung then pulled Minseok to the car. "Oh, ajusshi, hello."

The girl quickly bowed at the man who had once brought Minseok back home. There was distress in his eyes when she caught him, but she just continued, "You live around here, ajusshi?"

It took her a while but she realized Minseok had stepped forward and stood in front of her seemingly trying to block her vision of the brunet man.

"Let's just go, Jayoung-ah." Minseok's hand held onto her hands tightly and kept on walking, looking as distressed as the man.

"Minseok-ah." The call stopped both of them in their tracks.

That voice... oh, it was Kim Jongdae. His speed dial friend.

"Let's talk." His sharp voice showed a firmer tone this time, daring. "You too, Jayoung...shi."

In the nearby coffee shop, they sat comfortably under the warm romantic lighting, but there was something else in the air, making the overall atmosphere tense. Why was she in this talk again?

"What is it?" Minseok sounded drained, almost desperate. He stared at Jongdae expectantly.

"Jayoung-ah." The man focused on her first. His hand automatically placed on hers. It was unexpected that the flow was cut by Minseok grabbing a hold of her arm and pushed her hands down the table.

"Don't."

"Ah, sorry. Habit."

"You never wanted to talk. Why now?" His hand was still holding her small arm.

"Because of her. She keeps drawing me to you." Jongdae sighed in a defeated manner. "Plus, it's about time. Now that she's here. I heard from Rion that you wanted to know what happened."

"Rion? You know her?" Minseok ignored Jongdae completely and frowned at the girl.

"She wanted to talk to you, but you turned her down, so I asked her." The urgency in his voice came back. "I didn't intend on talking to her and getting to know her but she was my sister's best friend. I have seen before. I remember going to a family movie with her." She didn't want to mention the ex-girlfriend part, sparing Minseok the words.

Minseok seemed like he wanted to say something about that, but he drew his hand back and stayed silent.

"Soyoung never liked taking pictures, but..." Jongdae drew out a few pictures from his suit's breast pocket.

It was true. Jayoung had insisted on selfies and all she got of her was 2 pictures. The work and student photos didn't count of course. She had always wondered why her sister hated photos so much.

Assuming Jongdae was another one of her friends, Jayoung slowly picked up the Polaroid pictures.

Two of them were of her sister smiling in her flowery dress. She was always so beautiful. Despite the bones and skin by the end of her life, Soyoung was still so pretty then although she didn't really get to see her last breath drawn. She just knew her sister was always gorgeous.

A sunken feeling and an irregular heartbeat brought her down to earth when she saw Jongdae in the last photo with his dark raven hair snuggled up to her sister.

The two men were silent, waiting for her reaction. It seemed like they had been anticipating this.

Slowly, she worked the basics of their history. If Jongdae was her sister's boyfriend, then that made Minseok... "Oh."

She cracked a smile – one that didn't exactly capture her happiness but a kind of revelation. All of this time, she thought it was just about the breast cancer. The arranged marriage.

Clearly, it did, in a way, escalate the whole thing, but she didn't know her sister had a boyfriend.

Looking up to Jongdae who glanced anxiously at her and Minseok back and forth, she turned her attention to Minseok who glued his eyes at the table. A permanent frown on his face. Slow heavy breathing. She could see he tried to hold back. His hands clutched his pants tightly.

"It's my fault," Jongdae started, eyes glued to hers. His voice faded at the end there, but she heard it. "I was fighting with him."

"It's my fault," Minseok cut him off, wanting to claim blame to himself. Like that was going to make anything better. "I had to marry her. I tore you two apart."

"It's not about the marriage, Minnie." Of course, Minseok was taken aback at the sudden use of his nickname. They must have been very best friends before any of this happened. "It's about her. We forgot about her. The marriage was never a problem. We were."

Things were getting pretty cryptic as she tried to keep an open mind. She had kept her cool for the past three years. She couldn't just break down now. Not when she finally got to learn something about her sister.

"You'd expect me to look after her then, but it was actually Minseok."

Her sickness came after the wedding announcement, which made it reasonable for them to argue about that. However, when the news hit everyone, Jongdae was still torn over Minseok. Of all people, his own best friend.

"You're saying that... while my sister was on her deathbed..." Jayoung spoke up, no longer caring if anyone tried to continue, "you were... fighting?"

Jongdae nodded firmly, but Minseok stopped slouching and leaned in a little closer, not ready for her sudden cut although he should've seen that coming.

"You – she was dealing with that. And you were still fighting? So, you were –"

The brunet just shook his head lightly and took a deep breath. "I broke it off with her, and I'd probably said some things that she didn't like. Minseok was always beside her, and although she hated his guts for breaking us off, she was glad he was there."

"No, she just –"

"Please."

It was then that she noticed the drizzling rain hitting the glass window.

"No one was there. Her parents were... Minseok was there, so he had to be the one taking all of her frustration in." Minseok, too, was watching the small droplets dripping down the glass. It'd been a while since the rain fell. It was spring after all. "She didn't mean any of it towards you, Minseok-ah. I just want to tell you that. It was all meant for me and Rion. I want you to know that it's not your fault. It's mine. I wasn't thinking straight."

"No one was." His words were quiet, but Minseok still seemed unconvinced.

_I couldn't be there for her. She must have been in so much pain._

"Jayoung-ah." Minseok started after a long pause. "There is something you didn't know."

"Of course, there is."

Jongdae frowned at her choice of words, almost breaking his character.

"Your sister, she... requested – she went to Switzerland."

She had a feeling that the place wasn't one she should be happy about.

"She had three months left, but –" It was then Minseok broke eye contact with her and looked down to his trembling hands. "She went to Switzerland."

"What do you mean? Why did she go there?"

"Soyoung stopped receiving pain medications. Just medications in general." Jongdae helped Minseok out with the final part. "She gave up her last three months."

It was 8:07 pm.

She was sitting in the once familiar room she always loved sleeping over so much; blankets shielding her from any type of pain or at least that was what she thought. Jimin showed up with a bowl of ramen he cooked for her. Before the boy could leave, she grabbed a fist of his sweater and started crying.

_"Why didn't you stop her?"_

Jayoung didn't understand why her sister had to go that way. Why was no one there to comfort her? What about her best friend? Wait, did Rion also act up because of her sister? Her boyfriend and her best friend just weren't there for her when it all happened?

_"So you just pushed her to die like that!?"_

She didn't mean to phrase it like at Minseok. He, too, had been through so much. She remembered him telling her about her sister and her anger.

_"You could've tried ..."_

She wanted to say that to herself – not Minseok. Just because her parents stopped her from going to see Soyoung. She should've snuck out to see her anyway. If Doyoung were here, he would've done just that. Although it was a bit late to talk about Doyoung.

_"You let her ran away..."_

Oh, Doyoung. He sought freedom, but what about Soyoung?

Was that freedom for her? Was everything so painful that she had to do that to herself?

What was left for her then?

The youngest one.

Soyoung and Doyoung ran off.

And here she was, crying in Jimin's arms till she fell asleep.

❤

It was almost midnight. He could tell by the sudden colder breeze and the brighter moonlit sky. A clear beautiful midnight sky. The slightly icy grass felt great underneath his sweat-stained white dress shirt.

The park at hours like this was filled with people – especially couples. It was a getaway place with benches, sidewalks, a good view of the night, and a river flowing nearby.

These moments only happened when he and Jongdae stayed up late to stare at the darkened heaven above them. A habit they had when they needed to talk or just do nothing but enjoy the beauty that was the night sky.

"Been a while, huh?" his ice-cold voice was close to his ears.

"Umm-hmm."

Jongdae then raised his head and propped his elbow on the shiny green blades of the grass, leaning over Minseok to get Minseok's beer bottle. It was weird. These days Minseok couldn't really finish his alcohol anymore. They still tasted great, but anxiety started to seep into his skin and made him stop.

"You're different, Minnie." The kitten man took a sip of the cold bittersweet liquid before turning to Minseok. "I think I know who to point at."

"You think she'd be okay?" That wasn't what Minseok wanted to say, but that was all he could come up with.

"Fuck no, why would she? I mean, it's impressive that she held it in for so long." His fingers were slow and dancing on the bottle, tapping to a simple pattern. Knowing the younger sensitivity, Minseok wanted to offer a jacket but realized he didn't actually have one with him. "Soyoung's eyes would've welled up in the first few seconds."

Clearly, there was nothing connected him to Jayoung, but Minseok could somehow hear her muffled cry in the distance as huge gusts of wind wafted over his tired body.

"Why now? I thought you were didn't want to talk to me anymore."

"No, that was what I thought of you..."

A long pause followed, which reminded him of the old times. Sometimes, it would take each of them 10 to 20 minutes to answer the question. Minseok would enjoy the silence and stars twinkling in the night while Jongdae would try to find the right words and right meaning to form a sentence and vice versa.

"I've always wanted to talk to you, but ... you were..." Jongdae sat up and look down at him, waiting. Understanding the cue, Minseok sat up next to him and had his legs folded against his chest for a comforting hug. "You were very distant, Minseok."

"I thought you hated me."

He watched Jongdae took a deep breath and frowned at him for the millionth time for the day. The younger blinked for a few seconds before pulling Minseok in for a hug. "Man, I could never bring myself to hate you, ever."

The older slowly released his grip on his legs and sneaked his arms over Jongdae's back.

Jongdae and his contradictions had always been his greatest form of entertainment and torment. He would just look angry when he was happy and his happy face would foreshadow a variety of hell ready to be unleashed unto mother earth. And once he used the menacing yet alluring voice of his, there was always an ulterior motive behind it. The last time Minseok got tricked by that voice, he had to pay 100 000 won for a doll. He didn't get to see what kind of doll it was or what it looked like, but he thought it would be safer not to ask.

"I don't know why I was so angry at you – It wasn't even your fault." Minseok smiled against the arm that had always comforted him through tough times. "I admit that I was unbelievably stupid for being angry with you, but don't you ever think for one second that I might hate you because I don't."

"I wanted to talk to you all this time."

"You have any idea what happened to you those years ago? I couldn't keep my eyes off you, man." The younger drew back; there were elongated words and sounds when he spoke. "You had me worried this whole time. I had to follow you just to keep my sanity in check."

Minseok felt like it should be harder than this, but he just couldn't help but beam at the younger for being so thoughtful of him. Just days ago the thought of mending a broken relationship with Jongdae sounded impossible and ridiculous.

"You were like a shell of a man. You know that, right? Like a ghost." Jongdae kept his arm on Minseok's shoulders and gazed at the river in front of them. "That one night I waited to see when you would leave work – my god! I thought I was in a summer scary ghost story – you standing there at your desk looking over to see you miss."

A couple just so happened to pass by the two and looked at them weirdly. Jongdae just glared back at them and brought Minseok closer. The kid in a way liked to care for Minseok no matter how gay they looked. That was just how they were.

"Dude, I almost pissed my pants when you turned around! There was no like... um.. fluidity or smooth human-like motion. You turned to me like a fucking machine with just your head, and your freaky dark circles, lifeless, cold eyes really didn't help at all."

Minseok just burst out laughing at the little kid doing an impression of him with a scary look.

"Honestly, that was the _one_ time I was glad you didn't talk to me. In your presentations, your talk, you become a machine of some sort – yeah, there were feelings, but it felt... forced." Minseok found it fascinating how the streetlight bounced off the kitten's light brown hair. " _Hello, Kim Jongdae –_ you could've said to me that night. _It's time for retribution._ "

The two kept chuckling at the idea of the cliché horror story.

" _So much paperwork for so little respect – I must avenge my cow._ "

Ah, the jokes.

Minseok wondered if Jongdae still hated the Kim brothers' greatly _terrible_ puns. 

"Seriously, though, I'm glad you're back to yourself. It's nice." It was true that these days Jongdae's features were less sharp and fierce. He seemed more relaxed. "I felt like I could approach you now that you're back."

Jongdae continued to tell him what was going on with his life and warned him to never forgive him for such a thing. It wouldn't make sense. To be free of pain, one needed to learn to forgive and forget, but Jongdae insisted that he hadn't forgiven himself just yet for what happened.

"I hadn't really faced my reality. You did that for me." His grip on Minseok's shoulder tightened. "I was in the hospital one day. I could hear her voice from rooms away."

"The meds wore off," whispered Minseok.

"Whatever the fuck it was – I know it wasn't her and I know you didn't deserve it." Jongdae's brows knitted at the man. Minseok liked the fact that he actually dyed his brows to match the color of his hair and was caught off guard when Jongdae hugged him again. "Why the fuck did I fucking explode like that? And to you... you have to know that I feel bad every fucking single day for doing that to you and her, alright?"

Another couple passed by; this time, the girl smiled and gave Minseok a thumb up, which, kind of, made him flustered and shy. Awkwardly, Minseok pushed Jongdae off and gave him a reassuring slap on his back. "Let's just start this again. No hard feelings."

"Man, fuck you! Of course, there will be hard feelings! You've got to stop this giving attitude ... at least towards me anyway." Jongdae wiggled his brows, earning an actual slap back that hurt. "Ow... Look, from now on, I'm forever in debt to you, so whatever you need, whatever you want, just say it, I'll get done."

"Ay, isn't that a little too farfetched?"

"Dude, you went through shit for three years – unable to ask for help. I can't just let you forgive me that easily. I'll be your fucking servant for life now." A firm confident nod from the younger got a light chuckle from Minseok.

"Alright... if that makes you better, then sure... but what if I need you to.. um... abandon your family and be my maid?"

"In a heartbeat, master."

Sometimes, Minseok, unfortunately, forgot the suggestive and childish nature of Jongdae and had to bear the many double entendre with its otherworldly naughty implications, which was even more cringe-worthy than Suho's and Minseok's infamous puns.

After done shivering at the younger's words, Minseok continued, "So, anything... you'll do anything?"

Another firm nod. His brown hair flicked at the motion. The determination in his eyes Minseok could see. Quite intense.

"Nah~~ Can't be. We should write it down."

"If you want." Jongdae just replied as a-matter-of-factly.

Minseok half-scoffed, half-laughed at the younger's seriousness, but he knew Minseok too well to take the matter lightly.

"Okay, okay, fine. But don't call me... names."

"Awe, but, young master, it could have been- ow! Hey! Got it –got it!"

Minseok try to smack Jongdae, but he drew back quickly, which turned into a playful chase around the park. Jongdae didn't really try to evade the hits; from time to time, he just let Minseok outright punch him. Ah, childhood memories flooding back. The nostalgia was so strong Minseok almost lost himself to tears at the intense reunion.

They were sitting on a bench this time, closer to the river. Sweats running down their face, staining their shirts, but above all, the feeling of closure. They all felt nice. However, Minseok still something was missing even after getting back with his best friend.

"Don't worry about Jayoung. I'm sure she'll come back around." Jongdae drank the remaining beer and nodded to himself. "She's stronger than her sister."

"Yeah, she is."

"Awe, look at you, so cute when you're smiling." It was Jongdae's way of trying to make him feel better.

"Shut up."

"Seriously, though," Jongdae paused; fingers grazing his chin for pondering effect. "You were actually angry at me this evening. Like I can tell, very angry. And you being unreasonably angry means –"

"It means nothing." Minseok gritted his teeth and gulped nervously.

The younger didn't say anything but gave a little chuckle to himself as he looked the other way.

"Anyway!" Minseok chirped out of nowhere after a few minutes of silence, evidently startling Jongdae in the process. "Let's just use my first command right now."

Jongdae's face remained unfazed at the announcement, knowing he had started all of this. Minseok also understood that even if the guy didn't offer the proposition or if any of this didn't happen at all, Jongdae would've done anything for him.

"Go out with Sehun."

That earned a hiccup from the younger along with a shocked and betrayed look. "You know what? I take that back. Fuck you! I should've never agreed to this."

Minseok just giggled childishly, watching Jongdae tearing his once luscious locks of hair into a bird's nest. When Jongdae turned back to Minseok, the older pulled off his best pleading look, trying to convince him.

"Please? At least, go on a few dates with him. How about it?"

Jongdae drew out a long breath and looked at Minseok for the longest time before returning a nod, one that signified trust and content.

"Sure, after all, setting me up with Soyoung was one of the best things that you've ever done for me."

It was 12:30 pm.

He finally got home.

For the last three months, this house had been the most eventful place for him in such a long time. He should've expected the silence in the grey wallpaper, but seeing the plants and the animal plushies laid around the lifeless place, his hands trembled and his lips bled from teeth biting.

Picking up the pink squirrel plushie on the fridge, Minseok walked to into his study and sat down near the window sill, the place she always fell asleep on despite the uncomfortable position she had to be in. She didn't say anything, but he could tell that she may have either wished that the wooden ledge was longer for her legs or that her legs were shorter. He just knew how much she loved this spot.

Minseok placed the pink plushie on the windowsill, and leaned against the wall, remembering the time she asked what his favorite animal was. When Chenchen failed to come to mind and he couldn't answer her, he realized that he was in too deep in his work life. He had people keep reminding him that he lived a life hurting himself, but it wasn't until she asked that one simple question that showed him how much he had been missing.

The girl, of course, didn't judge or think way too deep about it.

_"You look like a squirrel, so... you should like squirrels. They are really cute when their mouth is full."_

Unbeknownst to him, he was stifling his chuckle at his own remarks in replying to the bright girl.

_"I'm cute when I eat is what you're trying –?"_

She just silenced him with another kimbap she made for breakfast, pushing it into his laughing face.

With that, the smile was gone from his face again. Just before they get together, Minseok had been a static place; everything was the same every day – variety came rarely. These days, although not many dramatic things had happened; to him, they were an emotional roller coaster ride compared to his cold stagnant life.

He rested his arm on the windowsill, occasionally poking and touching the squirrel plushie. Jayoung was right. He really did look like the toy. Big googly eyes, small tight lips, chubby cheeks, liked to eat a lot at once.

It was 3:46 am.

A sleepless night for him.

A buzz from his pockets woke him from his dazed insomnia.

**I brought Jayoung's textbooks and uniform from your place for today. She told me your code. Don't worry, I didn't touch anything else. – Jimin.**

His fleeting happiness was another kick to his stomach. For a second there, he thought it was Jayoung. He then renamed the unknown number to Park Jimin.

**How is she?**

**She fell asleep two hours ago. It's fine.**

**Did she eat?**

**Very little. I tried my best.**

**At least, she ate something. Thank you. But is it okay if I could see her?**

Of course, Jimin sent his Kakao talk account and Minseok was connected to the man instantly.

**Don't stress yourself out. She always does this. A day or two, she'll be back.**

Minseok felt grateful for the boy, but at the same time, uneasiness stuck him at the fact that the boy had to her childhood friend, then he remembered the kid's explosion at accusing them of being together along with his flaming pink hair. It was wrong to assume, but he hoped the boy liked anyone else but her. Suddenly, a weird thought entered his mind, so he pushed it away. She could like whoever she wanted. He didn't want to control her - ever.

**Thank you very much for telling me. Please take care of her.**

**You, too, old man. When she gets back there, you take care of her.**

The man didn't how to reply to that one, so he just left it there. Jimin seemed like a straightforward kid with a sharp tongue, which made his comforting texts all the more uncharacteristic of him. Minseok was the source of her outburst. Why didn't this kid scold him?

After another ten minutes of his mind drifting away, Minseok got up to take a shower and put all of his dirty clothes in the laundry machine. With a simple black sweater and blue jeans, he grabbed his black long coat and headed to Yixing's restaurant.

He stepped into the cozy place with a distant, estranged feeling.

"Hello, welcome to – oh," the redhead greeted him. Normally, one of them always came to the door to welcome the customers.

"Chanyeol?"

The redhead was surprised. His eyes were wider than Minseok thought they were. It was reasonable to be that way. All of these years, Minseok never really made an effort to get to know Yixing's employees mostly because he always came around a very busy hour like 10:00 pm and never really came during the day.

The man made a mental note to get to know these people. They were Jayoung's sunbae; that could cheer her up a little - especially Yixing.

"Tell Yixing to meet me up on the roof." Chanyeol could sense the distress in his voice, which Minseok was thankful for, and nodded promptly, disappearing into the storage room looking for the chef.

As he waited for the old chef to come to the roof, he watched the light blue sky turning into day. The chef later appeared with two lemon iced tea and a bowl of porridge. Minseok was reminded of the fact that he was still sick. All of a sudden, the heat in his eyes worsened. Yixing questioned how the man could even walk in this state and cast his worried eyes over the pale man.

The chef insisted on him finishing his food first and had Tao brought his cold medicine for Minseok.

"She knew, didn't she?"

Minseok could only hum as a reply.

They didn't talk until Minseok finished his porridge. The same one Jayoung had cooked earlier yesterday afternoon. The taste was a bit different; Yixing must have added some things after reheating it for him.

"I was actually going to keep that to myself," The chef sounded happy. "She got better. Still have a lot to go, but you can tell."

Minseok smiled at his words. It was true. Since Yixing started teaching her, the taste in her food was more focused. The first time around, it was delicious, but it felt like the ingredient was everywhere – didn't really blend well. Now, there was a more balanced flavor.

"Minseok-ah, promise me you wouldn't let her go?" The Chinese words were clear in his ears. "I really _really_ like her."

The man stared at the empty bowl below him.

"Look, even if this doesn't work out, just promise me you'll keep her around anyway." The old chef heaved a sigh. "Although it would be amazing if you two got together."

Sipping the lemon ice tea, Minseok stared blankly at the sky once more.

"You must know how huge of a change she brought to you, right?" The clink of his glass alarmed him, but the chef had just clinked their drinks. "Welcome back, Kim Minseok."

There wasn't much for the younger to say but sipped his drink.

"And if you ever think of relapsing, I will no longer stand by and watch."

"Yixing."

"I will sell this restaurant, cross the ocean, or – freaking hide a dead body if it means anything to you. So, please," It had been a while since he saw Yixing shed a tear. With a broken voice, he pleaded, "Don't let go of her."

❤

The bags on her eyes were particularly heavy that day. Staring at the mirror, she saw the prominent swollen flesh all around her eyes, and they were making it hard for her to see. Like not enough had tried to block her from seeing.

School was okay.

Hari asked what happened. Jayoung was rarely absent from any class let alone a whole day going missing. The short hair on her face made her look younger and no matter how many she saw her with that hair, Jayoung just couldn't get used to it.

When Hari offered to walk her to the bus, Jayoung had to refuse. She got Jimin now. The guy could pick her up more often than not. She felt bad for doing that, but at the same time, Hari was just a friend. Even if at one point she did refer to the girl as a best friend, she was only a substitute for Jimin.

Jimin went on about his grocery trip, excited that she'd make his favorite Bulgogi for him. She did promise, so now was the time to show off to her best friend.

"Can you drop me off at Oppa's, first?"

"Sure." She could tell the older wanted to react to her question, but he bit his lips after the abrupt answer.

It wasn't much of a hustle. She remembered Minseok schedule for Thursday: a co-worker's 37th birthday. The man had to stay late whether he liked it or not.

"I'll be back in an hour, k?"

It was only a day from this greyish place, but why did it feel so long? It wasn't like she stayed at home that long anyway. Half of her day was spent at school. Therefore, she had at least five to six hours here not counting the sleep and class hour. Why did she feel so empty at Jimin's place? And not here?

Her eyes were drawn to the couch the moment she stepped inside. Did the man fall asleep there when she wasn't here? Her grip on the straps of her bags tightened when she opened the fridge. There wasn't anything. She had cleaned the inside days ago, seeing the emptiness only made it worse. Yesterday, she was so excited to go grocery shopping Minseok, but that had to happen.

Of course, she didn't want to blame Minseok. The guy really didn't do anything except taking care of her sister. Saying that he could've done more was more an attack on herself than anything. She just needed some time away from her sister. From her story. For a while. The girl rarely got to cry and break down, but being with Minseok, she was doing this a lot more than she had preferred.

Of course, she went to the study and before she could sit down on the windowsill, she noticed the pink squirrel that was supposed to be on top of the fridge in the middle of her space.

Minseok moved it here obviously. Why though?

Jayoung hesitated for a few seconds and sat beside the plushie not wanting to disturb its position.

_Thank you. I mean, I didn't know I look like that. It's nice._

One wasn't supposed to say thank you at a remark about them looking like an animal, but Minseok did, which surprised her.

It was one of the first few times that she saw him smile during the first month of them being together. Back then, he was typically stoic about the whole thing. These days it was more frequent and looked more natural whenever he greeted her with a smile.

Noting Minseok finally talking to her about other things rather than school and work, she thought that it was a nice icebreaker and bought the plushie signifying the breakthrough and the first of many more toys and plushies she would be decorating the place with.

The fact that he brought this particular toy here made her smile.

He must have waited for her although she wasn't sure if he missed her as much as she missed him.

Again, it was only one night. Hours she spent apart from him felt different in this context.

Being around the man always made her feel like she could just be herself. There was no scrutiny. She could do the things she wanted, say the things she wanted to say, and Minseok would tell her if it was wrong to do so or stayed silent if it was appropriate. Then again, it was rare that he tried to stop her from doing anything. The guy just let her be.

The freedom he gave her was something she had never gotten.

This feeling of doing things that she wanted, desired was special. Whenever Minseok was close, she could be treated equally. She wasn't neglected anymore. The man actually paid attention to what she had to say even if it was trivial or stupid sometimes; Minseok would just laugh it off. The man may have thought this was nothing for him, but for her... these months had been liberating and she just wanted to be with him because of that.

However, at one point, she felt like she wanted to be with him regardless of the freedom. The longer the time she spent with him, the more it seemed like it wasn't about free choices anymore.

**Let's go. Come come.**

The girl sighed at Jimin's text. This place stole one hour from her in a blink of an eye. She stepped outside the study when she decided to step back inside and rushed to the pink plushie's side, pulling out a blue post-it note and a black pen from her backpack.

**I'll be back soon. Don't worry.**

That night she could sleep earlier than the day before. She'd hoped that Minseok would come back home early and see the note instead of spending the whole night getting wasted at his co-worker's birthday party. However, going to sleep thinking about the party and drunk Minseok, of course, woke her up in the middle of the night.

Jayoung stared at her phone, scrolling to his phone number.

Ten minutes passed, and she told herself that it would be just fine. She had warned him not to drink irresponsibly like that other day already. Knowing Minseok this much, she trusted that the man would remember her words and restrain himself. Drunk Minseok wasn't someone she knew of. Clearly, he was under the influence, but there was something more than that. She couldn't tell what it was. Even though she had known him for just three months, she concluded that it was so out of character for him to drink that much.

"Hey, what's up?" She was glad he didn't ask if she was okay. It was such a lame question to her. Why bother asking that when you could tell what was going on with her facial expression?

"Oppa is at a party tonight."

"Oh. Is that so?" The boy seemed sleepy, but he was more awake than her. Was he up all this time? It was 2 a.m. Was it because of her? "Afraid he'll get drunk or something?"

She weakly nodded as a response.

"Don't think about it too much. From what I can see, he could be like me. You're not home and with another guy," Jimin paused, pointing at himself lazily. "so he's probably worried about you than you are about him, you know?"

"I'm a little better now. You can rest."

"Um, that's good to hear. Good night, Yonggi-ah."

Jimin walked over to ruffle her hair before dragging the sheet over her body and took her phone from her hands to place on the nightstand nearby.

Jayoung watched the pink-haired boy exited his room and probably went back to the couch in his living room to finally get some shut-eye. Whenever these things happen, Jimin would be up all night watching over her, making sure she ate and fell asleep – no matter how little food or sleep she got. When it was the other way around, Jayoung would let the boy fall asleep on her lap as she tried her best to run her fingers through his rough hair; the boy always liked dipping his hair into hair products.

_So, Oppa couldn't fall asleep, too?_

If Jimin was right about Minseok, then he would be awake the whole night. For Jimin, it wasn't because he tried to stay awake. Jimin just couldn't sleep when she wasn't okay. Jayoung felt bad that Jimin had to go through that but blessed at the same for having the boy as her best friend.

She fell asleep once more that night with her mind occupied by Minseok.

The next day was slower than the day before.

Now, she just wanted to go home to Minseok and cook for him, but simultaneously she didn't want to talk about her sister just yet. As she watched the clock in her classroom drag down the time longer than she was comfortable with, Chan came to her stressful mind. Maybe, visiting the little guy could make her feel better.

**I'm going to a dog park in the evening. I'll call if I need a ride.**

It was unusual for an April to rain, but it did. Just the other day, it drizzled when the revelation happened. She still remembered Minseok worried face when Jongdae said the last news. The last glimpse she caught of him was a defeated one.

On the bus, she trailed her fingers the droplets slid slowly down the glass window as she waited for her stop. She should remind herself to tell Minseok that it wasn't his fault.

It was just life, teaching them another lesson.

Sometimes, despite our greatest efforts, it's just not going to work.

It's not called _no turning back_ for no reason.

It's hard to save anyone if they don't want to be saved.

At that point, you can't really blame anyone for that.

"Omo! Xing's child!" Baekhyun was in front of the gate this time with his pink jacket and blue jeans. A name tag was on his white shirt, but she still wondered if he was actually an employee there.

"Ne, sunbae! Hello!"

"Let's go see Chan, eh?"

Baekhyun proceeded to tell her all about the puppy and its routine. Of course, when she got a job, Baekhyun had dibs on 20% of her first pay for the puppy training courses he was giving for free temporarily. But then something came up and he left the girl to play with the little German Shepard to her heart's content.

She imagined a year ahead of her when Chan grew up and would possibly weigh more than her by then. It was curious to see another dog approached her, whimpering for her attention.

The golden retriever was happy that she reciprocated the love with petting.

"Aye, Chenchen!" _Chenchen?_

"Oh, Jongdae-ajju –"

"Just Jongdae-shi, okay? That made me feel older than I'm supposed to." The man just sat down next to her still in his work suit and let Chenchen attack him with licks and clawing. It looked like a well-tailored suit to her, but there he was down on the ground, rolling and playing with a dog.

The girl didn't say anything for a while, contemplating on how to steer the conversation. She didn't want to deal with her sister, so her ex-boyfriend could be a problem. She should be angry at the man. He did leave her sister to her own, but right now she didn't have the strength to hate.

"It's okay. I'll answer what you want to know, anything, or nothing," The man laid down next to Chenchen who provided her stomach as a comfy looking pillow for his head to rest upon. "Side note, I named this dog."

Silence hung around the air. Dogs were running around and playing in the park, and Baekhyun would check up on her from time to time. Jongdae didn't seem too bothered at the lack of words spoken, so it saved her the awkward small talks.

It was when the closing time came and she had to leave Chan to the care of Baekhyun once more that she passed the hours like magic here in the park. Chan could make her forget about everything complicated and all she had to do was attend to him.

There was a small smile Jongdae tried to hide as he drove his car away from the park. With her.

"You know, Minseok was at work yesterday," the man stared the conversation after a few minutes of looking silent at the road ahead. Her muscles were strained from the tension as the girl pushed down the urge to know more or to sound unhinged at the name. "He was definitely not himself."

Something clawed at her heart hearing the info. Why did she agree to let him bring her to Jimin again?

"Minseok hasn't been... particularly himself since Soyoung passed." When her eyes landed on Jongdae, she noticed both of his hands were white as they tightened the grip on the wheel harder than she thought he could. "I asked a friend, a psychiatrist."

"Why- why a psychiatrist?"

"His behaviors... My friend said he could have DID."

Dissociative identity disorder, he explained, was the thing with multiple personality disorder. Before she could register the fact and panic, Jongdae calmed down.

"No, whatever you learned about DID in fiction or movies, that's not it. That's not how it works." The man took in a deep breath. She was looking at every inch of his face at this point. "And that Hollywood movie with 2 guys fighting in a club and turns out they're both the same people- No, no, no. That's a demonizing way to view a person with that condition."

Jayoung then made a mental note to research the disorder even if she didn't fully trust the man yet. Then again, he seemed like a good friend if not a good boyfriend. The girl tried to recall the time when her sister was around and okay.

"It's more like states. Different states. Like doing something out of character and forget about it from time to time, but it's not easy to diagnose. My friend only suggested that it could be a possibility." Jongdae still knitted his eyes brows together. "The thing is mixed with clinical depression, anxiety, and a bunch of other symptoms, so it's hard to pinpoint. Plus, not a lot of people have DID, which makes it harder to even compare his case to any other proof."

"Everyone thanked me a lot for being with him," she said something while Jongdae quieted down, probably to gather his thoughts. "I didn't think it was that important." Maybe, now she understood something? She rarely stopped to think about Minseok's past and how he coped with her sister's death. He wasn't the boyfriend. What was it that he went through?

"Somedays, he would blame himself. Somedays, he would... forget about it. Like – I swear I heard him talking to himself in the bathroom saying that he should bring something to Soyoung– You know, her... she's in Switzerland." Shaking his head, Jongdae spoke in merely a whisper. "It was brief, but it scared the – it was scary."

Minseok lost his appetite for a while, Jongdae continued. Nobody noticed. The guy had to sneak around and stalk him to his older brother. Suho had to lay off him due to Minseok's extreme diet. It was only when Suho threatened to fire him that Minseok actually started eating again.

She knew Jongdae wanted to curse so bad at everything.

"So, he's working again. Eating again. But it's still there. That same hollowness. It's like he replaced the lack of flesh with the lack of a soul –obviously, didn't sound any better." As he followed the direction on the GPS to Jimin's house, he now and then turned to stare at Jayoung in a way that she didn't get. "The trauma must have started it. Soyoung was like that. Sometimes, thanking Minseok. Sometimes, blaming him. He may have mirrored it."

Her sister's changing moods left a print on Minseok.

It was a few blocks away from Jimin's when the car slowed down at the side of the road.

"Jayoung-ah, the things that you're doing right now. It's making him better," his eyes seemed to plead her not to even turn away from him. "It could be depression, DID, or some other things, but what's important is that he's himself now. In a long while."

She now realized that all the friends she made these days were Minseok's friends. She only got Chan because she _helped_ Minseok.

"Well, there's still something popping here and there, but he's mostly himself, and I just want to thank you for that."

The first time she saw this man actually smile. Just like in the picture. Maybe he was a good boyfriend. Just not at the end. However, there was no denying he was a good friend.

"I don't know what would happen to me if he was gone," Jongdae said it slow, his face drained of lively color. "Soyoung was –I don't know if I could live with myself if he was gone."

She didn't get what had gotten into her, but tears welled up in her eyes. Her lips went dry and her mouth went slack. "Jongdae-shi... no..."

He had a horrified look; his eyes too were brimming with tears. Jongdae looked at her hands clutching his trying to stop whatever was happening. There was a click in his expression when he placed his trembling hands on hers.

"Thank you."

❤

❤

Her eyes scan, skim and dart across the computer screen like crazy googly doll eyes. She had never work this hard before not even as hard as the upcoming national exam finishing high school. That thing could wait.

"Not going to sleep?" That must be Jimin's voice.

Jongdae did mention that mood swings didn't count as part of the disorder; however, it was supposed to be a good thing since Minseok rarely expressed anything, so she had to keep an eye out for that. Staring at the screen in front of her, Jayoung tried her best to read the English words in the many journal articles relating to all symptoms of DID and DID itself. Google translate wasn't the best, but she would take whatever she could get.

"Jayoung?"

"Oh, ne?"

Jimin was taken aback, probably by her frowning eyes. The guy looked around and turned back to her. "It's eleven. You should sleep."

"Oh, I've got research to do." Seeing the cold bottled water in Jimin's hand, Jayoung snatched the object right out of his hands, which further startling the boy. "Real important."

"Right..." His eyes widened at the amount of water she gulped; his hands drew back slowly. Was she dreaming that his body kind of leaned back about to fall over? "Since it's Saturday, tomorrow... at 2 o'clock. That's how long I give you."

Jayoung didn't say anything but went back to reading through the many resources on mental disorders. Maybe, she could help. Jongdae didn't make some good choices years then, but he was still a good friend Minseok had. Her phone read _D,_ ready to call the man if she had any revelation about the once depressed Minseok. Or perhaps he was still depressed?

Thank goodness for all of the years she spent reading incoherent words of English fantasy books and a lot of Korean adventure and detective novels because if she hadn't done that, reading through these massive amounts of text would never be possible.

For the next three hours, her half of the new notebook that had been bought hours ago at the bookstore where Jongdae dropped her off was filled with notes and cryptic messages of Minseok. Jongdae did warn that it was better that only he and Jayoung knew about the conditions. It made sense. 

At one point, she realized that Jongdae stalking Minseok should be a weird thing, but uh... _I don't have anything to say about that._

After so much reading, noting, thinking, and rethinking, all she could conclude about the solution to it all was doing whatever she'd been doing.

_I can do that._

That night she fell asleep with both anxiety and happiness as she thought about Minseok.

"My child!"

Of course, Chef's angelic face always cheered her up.

That afternoon she just resumed her cooking lessons with the old chef. It was weird that his restaurant had to open at 6 pm and close at 6 am. She questioned the stamina of everyone working here, and Chef just simply gave her a chuckle.

"They can't sleep at night including me."

It was hard to pick employees with that requirement. Or in Chef's story, it wasn't exactly a requirement. Her Sunbae came from different places, working here and there to get by. He didn't explicitly describe their life stories, but a lot of things must have happened if they couldn't fall asleep at all. It was more a cure for them working for Chef.

"Kyungsoo had it worse. One time, he went on for two weeks without sleep."

By working at night until their muscles gave up, everyone seemed to be okay and even got better in sleep habits.

"Chef?"

The kitchen, beside Minseok's, always felt like home to her. One of few places, to which she was mostly introduced by Minseok, she could go wild – not be tamed. Well, yes, Chef would give instructions, but this was what she wanted to do, what she loved.

The feeling you get when you're at your most comfortable and cozy place is soothing. You never want it to fade away. Even when it does, you try to slow it down just enough that it would feel like forever.

"Ne?"

It was break time. Jayoung had been cutting so many cabbages she thought her arms might have fallen off at one point. He looked and was nice, but Chef as a teacher was extremely ruthless.

"Can I ask about Oppa?"

The old chef had not even once looked at her for the past two hours since he'd greeted her; eyes glued to his book as he told her stories and scold her at the same time. However, the word 'Oppa' literally drew his face on to her chopping board. She could actually see the creases and wrinkles on his face as he oddly stared at her with so much enthusiasm.

And Chef was never known for enthusiasm – well, at least not outside the kitchen anyway.

"Um... I want to ask about his habits..." Jayoung walked lightly on the strings. The chef was way too inflated with excitement she thought she was watching a real-life anime.

"Oooh! Where do I start? Hmm..." the old started pacing back and forth; his hands crossed his chest and his eyes narrowed down the wooden floor. "There's a lot, but I'll tell you only one."

The girl tilted her head at the comment.

"I encourage you finding out the rest yourself." That one wink he gave her was a little unnerving, but she tried not to show it. "Before you came along, Minseok hardly eat anything."

The old chef went back to his serious self when he continued. It was curious to know even Minseok's eating habits changed every so often. Someday, he would say he liked spicy food; the other day, he wouldn't even touch it.

"It was extremely weird. Sometimes, he didn't even remember what he liked the day before." Chef sighed and went to the fridge for a beer. She didn't advocate alcohol in the workplace, but the old Chef never seemed to get drunk no matter how much he drank. Must be the good food helping. "Sometimes, he lost his taste completely."

"Lost his taste?" That was concerning.

"Yeah, it was rare, but there would be weeks when he just couldn't taste anything. These past three years, my food could barely get him to taste properly. I mean –" He surprised her when he looked back at her and leaned in a bit too close. "You once asked me why _you_ of all people?"

It was a brief silence, then she answered with a nod.

"My food. Five stars - magnificent Chinese food. Even the Koreans that claim they hate Chinese food, all fall into my charming delicious cooking! .... except Kim Minseok." Well, she didn't really believe what he claimed either, but she almost jumped when his finger landed on her forehead, pressing it hard. "but then you... you who can't even cook properly. No cooking etiquette whatsoever."

_Thank you, Chef, for the reality. As always._

"You. You made him eat your food and enjoy it."

Somehow, she felt her cheeks burned at the disclosure. Her heart could actually beat faster without her having to exercise. _Oh, so that's how it feels._

"So, does that mean I cook better –"

"Shut up. It's time for you to learn how to mince the meat. Go!"

Jayoung groaned at the childishness of the chef, but once she turned away and walked to the storeroom to get the beef she let out the happiest laugh.

_My cooking is better, yeh!_

But then she wondered, why her?

So Minseok started properly eating again because of her?

It was slow, but she caught on. Understanding the implication, Jayoung now felt like she wanted to stay in this storage room – never coming out.

"Jayoung-ah." After another fifteen minutes of practicing her knife skills, the old chef spoke up once more. "Minseok will be here in an hour."

The girl finished working on the last chunk of meat that was allowed for practice and went to clean her hands before returning to Yixing. "Wait, I want to tell you that I'm meeting -" Jayoung finally remembered the appointment she had made Rion. 

"Yeah, that she dropped by to tell me the other day." 

"Okay, then." He must have known about her knowing the whole story. "There's so much cabbage and beef out here. Should I bag it up or cook something?"

"Well, judging from the cutting – you haven't cook much..."

It was weird for him to talk a bit too slow than he already was.

"How about you cook something for me and Minseok?"

"Okay!"

The girl had gotten enough time to let the truth sink in. Now, it was time for her to confront the rest of it. She couldn't ignore the grief forever. That would manifest itself in something much worse if she neglected it long enough. It was something seen in novels now and again.

Jayoung wanted to cook for him again; although she did cook for him the other day, that was just something to ease the pain. Maybe she could cook him something to make him feel happier.

"Lay-er! Oh –"

So she had her yellow t-shirt with a red rose in the middle of it. Minseok, on the other hand, wore that same yellow flannel again. The girl was supposed to act like this was all okay, but that caught her off – words stuck in her throat. Just a coincidence.

"Jayoung-ah..."

She didn't even get to breathe in a full deep breath yet when Minseok was already in front of her. His right hand went past her face, but then he pulled back swiftly and awkwardly patted her shoulder. Something at the back of her mind was glad that at least he didn't pull away – hands still firm on her collarbone.

"How are you?"

"I'm better."

"That's good to hear..." For a while, they stood there. Minseok seemed worried just like Jimin had predicted, looking up and down to see if there was anything wrong.

The girl broke the silence by grabbing the hand that rested on her shoulder and dragging him to the table she had prepared for him. She pushed him to sit down and quickly sat on the other side of him. "This is spicy beef and cabbage stir-fry." She didn't even know if he had eaten already, but after hearing much of his story, she assumed that maybe he should eat anyway.

"It's leftover food!" The old chef added. He was in the storage room, so his voice echoed around. It was weird that Yixing didn't come out to greet Minseok. This was a first.

"Umm," There was a slight tremble in his hand as he reached for the chopstick.

"It's okay. I get it." Jayoung started, "I'm good with it now."

The man glanced at her. The root of his hair was starting to shed its blond. She was surprised to see the change. Normally, judging by the constant blond of his hair, she knew that he made sure to dye his hair every time it grew out, but she could clearly see the dark roots.

"Thank you." He muttered the phrase – eyes still staring at her. A small pleasant smile was on his lips when he dug in and took a bite.

"Oppa, what's your favorite food?" Jayoung watched him munch on the food. Somehow, she liked watching him eat. She really did. It seemed like even if the food was bad, the guy could still make it look delicious. He could definitely work for commercials. "you know, besides seaweed soup or ramen."

"What?" He let out a chuckle after swallowing a good bite. "you wanna cook them or something?"

"Oh, ne. For you." The girl stated nonchalantly. Minseok suddenly started coughing, but at least he had swallowed the food. The girl, of course, pushed the glass water towards him.

Now his neck, his face, and his ears were all red. The man waved it off as the spiciness kind of got stuck in his throat. "Well, you really don't have to..."

Jayoung wanted to laugh seeing him biting his lips and looking away here and there at her proposal. "I only wanted to improve my Korean cuisine cooking, plus if I cook you your favorites, it might be useful because you might have eaten times many times in many places. I can experiment a lot."

"Oh." There was a drag in the breath he took. "An experiment? That's it?"

"Ne. Why else?"

His wide eyes squinted to just lazy eyes, staring at the food below with so much disappointment it was hilarious.

"But, uh.... Oppa... please eat that slowly –"

"Well, it's okay for a dish. There, your result." Minseok angrily chewed the food and looked out the window to his side.

Her hand tried to close on her own lips. How could this man be so childish? She thought that was Chef's thing.

"The thing here is ... that's not an experiment, oppa. I made that for you, so you can eat a good meal." He paused chewing and blinked at the girl before letting out another hiccup. "So, please enjoy your meal."

Something peculiar watching him trying to hide his smiling face as he swallowed another bite and cleared his throat. He then looked at her with a straight face and picked up another piece with his chopstick. "Bulgogi, Jajangmyeon, and anything with rice cake."

Jayoung, of course, was impressed at him and herself for pulling his legs.

"Okay... wah, this is also delicious."

"Really?" excitement burst through her veins once more.

Minseok couldn't hide his feelings anymore and let out a delightful laugh, continuing to tell her how she could blend the ingredient better. The food was a bit more intense as well. Of course, it would be; she was learning a lot from Chinese cuisine. The keyword of Chinese food is intense and full of flavors.

"So, uh, you want to drop by and pick up something? I'll give you a ride." He finally finished the meal; it wasn't exactly a lot. She did keep some for Chef.

"No, it's fine. I'll just go home." She cleaned up the table while Minseok was looking at her funny. After putting everything back in the kitchen and cleaning the dishes, Jayoung placed a glass of water for Minseok like she always did back home.

"Really?"

"Ne. I'll tell Jimin to just drop my stuff back at home."

"Oh, okay."

He seemed okay from what she saw of him. There wasn't anything out of place. Maybe Jongdae was freaking out about the wrong thing. However, she could tell he wasn't wrong about the depression. From what Chef had told her, he could be experiencing an existential crisis, not knowing why to live anymore, along with the lack of emotions. Everything must have held no more meaning to him then; even the food didn't have the taste from time to time. However, she had to keep track and ask Jongdae more about him.

Depression isn't something that can easily be diagnosed.

Minseok did fit the symptoms, but she had to make sure. Depression hit people differently in different ways.

She watched him fidgeted slightly in his seat, looking around, up and down, and finally coughed out a question.

"Do you want to go home now?"

"If you want to, yeah sure."

Minseok slowly nodded at the reply before hesitantly adding, "Do you want to drop by the supermarket first?"

"What the – are you making excuses not to go home?" A new voice popped in and made Minseok choked on his water. "You're coming here often now. That's nice."

"Kyungsoo-sunbae!"

"Oh, Yongyong!"

She was surprised to see that Minseok was making small talks with her sunbae. After a while, Chef appeared behind her and patted her head.

"You guys can leave. We're opening in less than 2 hours."

"You're always together," Kyungsoo stated as a matter of fact. Yixing looked like he wanted to stop him, but he didn't say anything.

"She's ... my wife." He didn't look at her while saying it – his eyes were trained on the small man, also challenging.

Luckily she wasn't drinking or eating anything or else she would have died an ugly and embarrassing death.

_Wait, that's the first time he..._

"Oohh~~" Chef and Kyungsoo ogled at the statement.

"Well, no wonder. You're really lucky," Kyungsoo smiled at the man, which undoubtedly made Minseok a bit uncomfortable, but when he turned to Jayoung, he let a chuckle and continued, "You're lucky as well."

_Eh?_

"Look at the guy. Handsome, right, Yongyong? Chef?" Her sunbae just pointed at Minseok like it was a fact. He then started poking Minseok's chubby cheeks that had unmistakably tempted her to pinch. Chef didn't make it any better; he burst out laughing hysterically.

Without another word, Jayoung just clutched Kyungsoo's shirt, hiding behind his back, as he strode to the locker room as if nothing had happened. The girl just sat there as he dressed up for work, taking off his dark jacket and putting on the white chef uniform over his black t-shirt. Kyungsoo was always the first one to arrive, and the guy never dressed fancy. If the others were here, she wouldn't be able to stay in the locker room. Everyone else had their own fashion and always had to take off their clothes every time.

"Sunbae, what was that..."

"Ay, I was curious."

Sometimes, even though there wasn't anything to talk about, she still tried to make Kyungsoo talk. His voice was so magical that she couldn't even get angry at him.

"All joking aside... fighting!" The man held out his fists then gave a pat on the back before leaving.

As she packed up her things from her locker, she took in deep breaths to make sure there was no more trembling in her hands or her voice.

She was glad that he didn't pry any further. If it had been Tao, everything would be unearthed and transparent through sassy force and fabulous manipulations.

That evening they finally went grocery shopping after days and days of promise. It was questioning when Minseok insisted that she shouldn't buy too much in one go. She already made sure to look at the expiry dates; plus, the last time she bought them, they were gone in less than 2 weeks.

She couldn't say no, however. The two finished their shopping, and Minseok was putting everything in the back of his car when he told her, he wanted to go to a bakery.

He occasionally looked to her with a small smile while he was driving. "You said you wanted to eat bread. I promised to take you there, and I kind of want to eat some myself."

The girl politely beamed at him when their eyes met. "Making excuses not to go home again?"

Minseok gave a little chuckle before bearing a serious face, saying, "Ne!"

It was when a bright streetlight caught the end of her eyes that she realized that she had been staring at one particular thing for too long, making her eyes a little strained and her head a bit nauseated. She should be looking away from the man, but she expected that they would have to leave the car soon anyway. A few more minutes were fine.

"It's not that late yet, and ... I've been home these days..." The man trailed off; the stoplight came up, and Minseok let his eyes stayed with hers. "It's boring when you're not there."

Should she note something? If she had to, it would be the fact he was more pronounced and bold about his words. She wasn't sure if she should be happy at that, him being a bit too straightforward sometimes, but seeing that he looked relaxed every time said something to her, Jayoung once more let it go. It was a plus to know that Minseok was pleased about this whole thing.

"Jayoung-ah?"

"Eh?"

"Oh, you're tired. Of course, you are. You had a cooking lesson –"

"No, no! Let's go get some bread." Remembering to answer his questions was a piece of good advice to give oneself. "I don't want to go home yet."

Finally, in April, spring, in Seoul went back to its usual state – dry and snowing.

The two got their choices of bread in their hands, and they took their time walking back to the car. It was a nice cozy feeling. Their thick clothes protected them from the cold air. The warm bread felt soft in their hands and its homemade texture gave them nostalgia, bringing them back to when they were kids. Jayoung had a cup of hot caramel coffee heating her hands although she felt like she wanted something more to keep her hands warm. The snowflakes melt on their skin; they found relaxing.

Along the way, Jayoung marveled at the magic of spring. The one cherry blossom tree they passed was full of frozen cherry blossoms.

"Omo!"

Luckily, the girl finished the bread first and saw the bike was speeding by, pulling Minseok and his handful and clueless-self close to her. She frowned disapprovingly at the biker nearly hitting a man.

It was quiet for a while, and when she was to ask if Minseok was okay, she realized that she had been clinging to his right arm this whole time.

Thankfully, the man didn't say anything and then suggested that they sat down on the bench nearby for a while before leaving.

Minseok had always looked away or avoided doing anything involving her. He would put her somewhere and left her to her own device – hardly actually joining her. This was new. He wasn't looking away.

They didn't say anything but watched the frozen cherry blossom in front of them as they finished their drinks. Jayoung had hoped that the baker was right about the coffee, praying that it was the kind that would put her to sleep not keep her awake.

When Minseok held out his cup, waiting for her to clink their drinks together for a final gulp, she concluded that she could no longer stay mad at him.

❤

Just months ago, one day felt like a week. One week felt like a month. One month felt like a year. One year felt like an eternity. One eternity felt like hell.

After such a long time getting stretched out impossibly long, Minseok felt the passage of time flowing once more. Perhaps too quick for his likings.

What should have felt like another disoriented month, last week whisked by what felt like a minute. An intense minute full of action. The past three years condensed to a second couldn't even compare to how vibrant his life now.

The pink squirrel was back above the fridge.

His eyes stared at the toy for god knew how long when he heard a buzz beside his glass of water. It was then he realized that it was getting close to midnight and he hadn't slept.

**Hey, she okay there?**

When he blinked, he felt the dryness scratched his wet eyelids. How long had he spaced out?

**Of course, she fell asleep just now after some reviewing.**

**Good. Thank you. She's a lot more carefree these days.**

**How's so?**

**Well, she's happier. Something similar.**

**Finally, I can get some sleep.**

Once more, not knowing how to end it, Minseok just left the conversation that way. It made sense for the childhood friend to check-in. Despite the other feelings, he did appreciate Jimin's concerns. It was also good to know that she too had a shelter ready for a retreat like he did.

5:34 am.

The backyard garden he had wasn't much of a garden.

Artificial grass spanned for five meters before hitting a grey wall three times his height. There was another house in the distance. His neighbor bought a bigger land with so much more to stare at. First, he didn't understand why he should bother getting so much space if it was going to be left unused. Now, he understood. Just a little.

He leaned back on his chair brought from the study, careful not to wake the girl up. It was sad to know he didn't even have a rocking chair or something spare for chilling outside. Then again, there was nothing to gaze at outside but the sky.

The man knew he should be sleeping but in a few more hours or so – probably in the afternoon – Jayoung was going to meet up with Rion.

A dry chuckle left his lips. He remembered how the woman complained about his backyard. A swing set and plenty of pot filled with different kinds of flowers she proposed to him.

It was scary to know that the woman he once had feelings for was now a stranger to him. Even worse – he didn't feel anything at the moment. He still cared for her; she was an old friend, but that magical feeling was gone.

With that thought in his mind, he closed his eyes, wary of his feelings fading away.

He heard a faint whisper.

It must be Soyoung again. He dreamt of her so much that he was now aware of her presence in the dreamland. The man braced himself for her. It had always been the same dream.

Small hands squeezed his shoulders gingerly; a weird shock ran down his spine. His eyes fluttered open to see the bright light burning him. The man looked to his side, and it was Jayoung. Her long brunet hair grazed the back of his neck.

"Oppa, it's almost 10 now."

Minseok just sighed and stared at the nothingness of his backyard before standing up trying to get her hands off. "Oh, right."

"Breakfast's ready."

He just watched her disappear back inside while refusing the notion that the phrase 'Breakfast's ready' meant anything.

"Oppa?" The small voice called out to him once more. He should really learn to not space out.

"Oh, I'm going!"

After freshening himself up, the man found a plate of poached egg and the classic kimbap she always made for breakfast on the kitchen table. He sat across her as usual. Silently, he was glad she didn't try to make everything fancy as his grandmother would.

Confusion ran through his head the whole time they were eating. He didn't know what to feel. He was happy she was back and okay with him again, but he hadn't specifically asked if she really was okay with it. All of these years, he tried to look for forgiveness, but there were days he thought he should stay this way. Even he himself didn't know if he should seek forgiveness or stay in the abyss.

Yixing's words echoed in his head.

"There's something special in the kimbap – how is it?"

"Um, now that you mention it, it is different. Is it the cucumber?"

"Ne! Chef taught me how to pick good and fresh vegetables." The girl then told him about the last time Yixing brought her to the supermarket and did some rigorous training on getting the perfect vegetables. "Next week, he's going to take me to the street market and teach me how to get fresh meat and fish!"

"Awe, can I tag along?" It felt like impulse – only when he finally said it, did he regret the words. A little.

"Of course! You rarely see me and Chef working."

He smiled at the girl finishing her breakfast as he took his time with the meal. His eyes caught the pink squirrel and they went back and forth between her and the toy. When Jayoung was done washing her dishes, the girl clasped her hands and pushed the intertwined fingers outward for a stretch. Something clawed his mind seeing the hand that would soon wear a wedding ring.

The girl was 19 in Korean years, but she still got more than two months left to actually become 18 in proper international years which also meant that her birthday was coming up in two months.

_Wait – that means..._

Minseok choked on his water, luckily not in front of her. The girl had gone up to her room to dress up for the meeting at Yixing's.

_Oh, I can't even..._

Their honeymoon was in late July after she did the national exam.

Minseok opened his calendar app for a good minute before running to the calendar next to the fridge.

"Oppa, I'm going out first. Bye!"

"Okay, be – be safe!"

He knew he should be doing something productive, but all he did for the next three hours was staring blankly at the grey wall in the kitchen while occasionally sipping his water.

_Let's not think of that now._

It was a miracle that he liked Yixing's place at all. The man always came over for food; now, he was constantly going to Yixing's without any reason at all. The fact that he was going there to see that old chef was even much more shocking compared to everything he'd done so far.

The first thing he noticed when he stepped into Yixing's was the Jayoung's hair. Walking a bit further in, he saw the one woman he dreaded. The two looked at him uncomfortably before he waved them off awkwardly and walked to the back.

He was about to touch the doorknob that would lead to the roof when he saw the lock.

Kyungsoo was in the kitchen cleaning up, smiling as a greeting.

"Yixing's here?"

"Ah, Chef ran off a few minutes ago. He said he'll be back in fifteen."

Minseok took a seat on the floor, leaning his back against the oven he helped Yixing bought years ago. "I was hoping not to run into those two."

A melodic chuckle left the brunette man. "Well, I don't know what's up. Chef told me to keep an eye on the two."

Two minutes passed and Kyungsoo seemingly finished his task took a seat next to Minseok and told him that they still hadn't left.

"A bit too awkward for me to watch." Would have been worse had he known the context.

Thankfully, Yixing's restaurant was quite big, so sitting here rendered Minseok helpless and he couldn't hear anything although somewhere in his mind begged to know what was going on.

"How do all you sleep?" Minseok broke the silence after another minute, knowing about the terrible case of insomnia the man had.

Kyungsoo then told him that only he, Yixing, and Kai had insomnia. The rest had a case of a genetic disorder.

"It's called delayed sleep... something, they can sleep just fine, but they're able to sleep only during a specific time of the day, unlike normal people's routine."

Oh, Chanyeol did mention something like that the other day. Everyone knew how hard it was for Yixing to gather his employees, but he did it, and Chanyeol was glad to be a part of the family.

"Me? I had to pick the right apartment. The right mattress... the right job." Kyungsoo stared at Minseok almost accusingly, which caught him off guard. "I just wanna say thanks." His pretty voice spoke to him, breaking his daydream.

"Ne?"

"Wow, you really don't remember me, huh?" those large clear brown orbs reminded him of someone but he didn't know what or who Kyungsoo was referring to. "We first met in the hospital."

Minseok leaned into the man closer and closer to inspect his face before finally giving up. Was it during that time?

"About four years ago, we crossed paths. I was there for insomnia, and... well, I don't know what you're in for, but you always walked past me, remember that?"

He could only reply with a blank look that made Kyungsoo burst out laughing.

"That doesn't matter –" After composing himself, Kyungsoo rested his head on one of the wooden drawers of the kitchen behind him. "Everyone knew me as the same guy lying on that same bench for almost 2 days."

Something was finally building an image in his head. He did vaguely remember the same figure always there when he entered the hospital hallway, but he never registered the face.

"That one night, my stomached growled so loud just when you were in front of me." Kyungsoo had a smile on his face. "You did seem to genuinely care for me and gave me a card."

"Oh, it was –" Minseok still couldn't recall the exact situation, but he did give someone Yixing's card in the hospital one day.

"The hospital cafeteria was no good, you said while giving me Chef's card."

Minseok felt somewhat happy, relieved, and surprised. A pleasant surprise. The man heaved a deep sigh, waiting for Kyungsoo to continue.

"It was 3 in the morning. No restaurant is open, I argued, but then I took a look at the card." His arm got a hold of Minseok's shoulders; his eyes filled with sparkles. "I got a job. I got that perfect apartment. I got to sleep."

Was that the reason why besides Yixing and Chanyeol, Kyungsoo was the other one he was comfortable with? How could he forget such a huge detail? "I'm sorry. I couldn't remember."

"It's fine. You were kind of out of it." This should be the millionth time somebody had said something similar to this. Then Kyungsoo's hand squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "Thank you."

Minseok returned the touch as his right hand gripped Kyungsoo's; a smile on his face. He didn't know this man was here because of him. Soyoung really had a hold on his mind for quite a while he realized.

"I never got to say anything. You were always in and out, plus you only came at night. I never had the chance, so again, thank you." the man paused for a while when there was a click somewhere in his head, turning to Minseok with a side smile. "Unlike Jayoung. She's always aware. You should learn from her."

"Right." He let out a soft chuckle. He couldn't agree more. Jayoung seemed to care for her surroundings than he ever did.

He did remember Jayoung saying something about Kyungsoo. The guy was into Japanese and Korean cuisine but took the job anyway to work for Yixing.

"What is this?!"

Of course, it was none other than –

"Umin! You're making friends! Yay!" The old chef barged towards the two men sitting there, trying to squeeze in between and hugging them at the same time.

"Argh, all the more reason, you can make up more excuses to drink."

Minseok couldn't roll his eyes at Yixing's pure cuteness. He was glad to have a friend like him. Yixing had always been an anchor for him. The old chef never changed and was always there to bring him back every time he drifted a little too far.

Kyungsoo excused himself to go and prepare the vegetables while Yixing brought Minseok up to watch the two women finally saying goodbye to each other.

Rion gave a shy wave to the men before taking a leave. Minseok's eyes landed on Jayoung's. The girl didn't say anything much, but threw a gaze at the blonde woman before looking at him again and then giving him a nod of encouragement.

Her small smile and the slight raise of her brows seemed to plead for him to do something.

He didn't take long to decide though. Everyone told him that Jayoung was a good influence on him, so he stopped trying to complicate things and followed the woman solemnly walking towards her vehicle.

Her expression was so intense. There was confusion, pain, and sadness with a hint of surprise when his hand got a hold of her shoulder – an act once considered as something more.

All he did was giving her a smile and a nod just like Jayoung did to him.

Tears rolled off her tired eyes as she brought his hands in hers and whispered a small 'thank you'.

That was it.

That was how easy it was.

That was all he had to do.

The man had tried letting it on far too long.

As he watched the car drove off into the distance, he felt like he could breathe a little easier. He was scared of letting go; Minseok had no idea that he was what he needed.

Finally, it was properly ended. The relationship and the bitterness he had for her.

Minseok looked back to the restaurant. Yixing rested his arm on Jayoung's head as the two beamed at him from the inside while Kyungsoo gave him a fist throw in the air.

All of this because of Jayoung.

That night, he gladly ate what the girl cooked for him. Unlike most times, Minseok was home and got to watch her prepare dinner. There was something she wanted to tell him, but she requested him to wait for her just a little. Of course, he could. Minseok didn't say much. The man just told her to study for tomorrow as he offered to wash the dishes. When that toy caught his eyes again, this time he just sighed a relief.

❤

When Minseok told her to sit down, it was strange obviously, but she wasn't really complaining.

This was the first time she saw him in glasses. Those skinny round frames really made his eyes bigger. His hair swept over his forehead seemed to be in the way of his eyes; however, the man didn't say a word about it.

He had his white sweater sleeves rolled up as he walked around with the black apron she normally wore.

"Wah~~" Minseok was cutting his fair share of vegetables. His brows knitted at the sight of the boiling water below as he talked about Yixing.

This felt so natural for him from what she was witnessing. Considering all of the many different stories about Minseok, Jayoung realized that it was going to be hard to believe any of them.

_"He's versatile."_

Jongdae's words helped her but also confused her at the same time.

So far, he, right now anyway, was a completely different man from all of the stories she heard of him. She wondered if he had always been faking this whole thing – that he wasn't the person they all said he was or he just tried to be another person in front of her.

_"He's not much of a talker."_

Rion was his ex-girlfriend. So there should be some things true about that.

"Yixing wasn't exactly my trainer, but he did show me a few tips and tricks."

"Oooh," she didn't know that watching Minseok cook was this fun and exciting. Everything he did look so clean and clear almost like a professional. She wondered if others knew that he could cook. "That's really good knife work..."

The smoothness and swiftness in his chops were mesmerizing. "It shouldn't really surprise you – I mean, I have first row seats to The Amazing Zhang Yixing and his cooking, so I just followed what he did."

"But that's really impressive. Does Chef know you can cook?"

Minseok just shyly shook his head and winked at her. "Just the two of us?"

That undoubtedly made her beam. It was automatic. She tried hiding it but failed miserably. How could one not find that adorable?

Running to his side, Jayoung picked up a nearby spoon and tasted the soup he was making. Apparently, Minseok used the kimchi they bought a week ago along with some soybean sprout to make a soybean sprout soup with kimchi – a simple way to kick-start a Saturday breakfast. She cooked this a few times, but it didn't really work out for her.

"Umm! You can make this better than me!" The kimchi wasn't of great quality like good fermented ones, but Minseok found a way to work around it.

"It's nothing. My grandma used to show me and my brother a thing or two about this, plus we learned to cook only her recipes. She wanted to pass them to someone." The man prepared the dishes after he cleaned the counter and his hands.

"She must be really proud." Jayoung couldn't stop going on about how good the cooking was. It wasn't perfect, but weirdly the fact that he made it for her was enough to convince her it was right on the spot.

"Maybe when I have the time, I'll teach you some of her recipes."

"Really!? Yes, please!"

That chuckle lighted up her day every time she heard it.

"Cute."

Before she could process anything more than that, her mind went to places when his right hand just seemed to land perfectly on her head and gave her a pat or two as if it was the most normal thing they did.

Of course, that sort of broke her. She didn't know how to function properly, standing there watching him taking long strides to drag the chair out and motioning for her to take a seat once more.

_"He rarely starts the conversation."_

But there he was – sitting in front of her, talking on and on about how he made the soup. Jayoung didn't know what was going on. Half of her brain was focused on his words, the other half just gave up on the wonder of Minseok. Well, for her, the man had always been the conversation starter; he just hadn't engaged in conversations this much before.

And of course, her being her, she replied with even more cooking stuff. One time she tried to make a tofu soup, got vinegar and soy sauce mixed up, and almost killed herself with one hell of a crazy flavor stinging her tongue so bad that she couldn't taste anything for five days.

Talking about tasting, finally, the man revealed something about the tasteless days of his own. It just went away due to the loss of his appetite and sudden irritation of chewing, so he had to drink gallons and gallons of protein shakes just to get the vitamins. His co-worker once tried to smell the thing and almost fell over and passed out after stealing a sniff of his diet.

They sat there facing each other as time flew by. She didn't even know she stopped to talk for so long until the rice hit her teeth and realized how cold it was. It was accustomed for them to finish up speedily with their meal because of their job and duty. At the moment, she was just having a conversation and a meal with Minseok.

It was hard not to notice the slight change in Minseok. Until she left the house, the man hadn't been so interactive before. He was more open with his stories and opinions. Normally, he would just sit quietly listening to her. She had to be the one keeping the conversation alive. Although it took effort then, she didn't mind trying for Minseok.

This past week had been eventful. Her schoolwork was piling up and the big exam of high school was coming in two months. Back at home, she went back to her usual routine cooking, eating, learning, and falling asleep in Minseok's study. Some night she would wake up to his light footsteps and the occasional plate and utensils slightly clinking as the man ate up the late dinner she laid out for him.

As she predicted, the food was gone in a week.

After the nice breakfast Minseok made, they were on the way to meet Chef in the street market just on the outskirt of Seoul. Minseok thought that while she was learning to buy and meet Chef's people, they could pick up groceries along the way, wanting to taste something different from supermarket food.

Chef and his comfortable attire made him look like he was in his thirty with the huge black hoodie and blue tight jeans. It was a bit weird to see such a serious man in such stylish clothes, but at least he didn't go too far to look like a member in a boy band and she did appreciate that Chef was easy to look at.

Jayoung, on the other hand, had a similar look with a white hoodie and blue jeans as well as a long gray sweater coat. She had a mental scream 'yes!' when she saw they sort of match. _Like master, like protégé._

Minseok, though, almost matched her and Chef. Gray hoodie, black jacket, and black jeans. They were the matching trio in her mind.

One of his regular suppliers asked if the three of them were family or something since Chef never really brought anyone with him except the one time he showed his workers where to get stuff.

"Like this, you look for the good looking stem and the firm body."

So far, the three of them have walked past nearly half of the store. The girl knowing the spontaneity of the whole lesson brought a notebook while secretly recording Chef's voice with her phone through her earphones' mic to make sure it didn't look too obvious.

While she and Chef went on with their lessons, Minseok just followed behind silently, holding on to the grocery they bought. It looked heavy and it was heavy; she tried picking it up, but Minseok just nudged her back and whispered to her that it was fine and she should just focus on the lesson. She was focused, but from time to time, she would catch a glimpse of the man walking behind with those heavy bags that looked like a feather when he picked them up. However, when their eyes met, Minseok would either raised his brows, wink, or nod at her, cheering for the girl.

"Oh, Yonggu~~ So red." Chef's delicate hand pat her cheeks as the man himself smiled. "It must be so cold, huh? Maybe, we should rest for now."

"It's – it's fine, chef. I can keep going." All she did was listening, writing, smelling, and touching whatever it was the chef ordered her to do while walking around the market. It wasn't that much of a cold day this April, but why did she feel her cheeks heating up?

"Now, now, you two wait here. I'll be back in a moment."

After dragging them both to the outer part of the market where they could find a bench, the chef left without another word.

She wanted to tell Minseok that putting those groceries on the ground could damage them, but then they would have to sacrifice the space on the bench. There was a small gap between them, which she didn't understand why she would want to keep track of. They could sit as close if they wanted; it wasn't that weird. Jayoung was too worn out to scoot away from Minseok. Chef walked a bit too fast for her likings; moreover, her short legs weren't a huge help at all.

Luckily, today the temperature was just right unlike the chilly snow yesterday, or she might as well become a frozen statue.

The girl took a deep breath and closed her eyes, listening to the street and lively movement in the background. It was a nice relaxing feeling after tearing her bones apart trying to keep up with the strict old chef.

A small nudge on her temple and a soft chuckle she heard made her open her eyes.

"Ne?"

"Nothing." There was something magical happening every time this man whispered. She felt as if she stepped into another world. A place happier than this if there was any.

"Oppa, what is it?" she knew she shouldn't directly look into his eyes especially being this close – her face inches from his.

Minseok sucked in his lips and smiled. "You just had a 15-minute nap."

_Eh?_

The numbness half of her head she suddenly noticed.

Scared should be the correct reaction. Jayoung fished for her phone and saw that the recording was still going. Turning off the mic, she checked the time and indeed, 15 minutes had passed.

What kind of magic trick was this?

The girl was about to whine when a loud honk disturbed her barely working brain. A huge bus appeared in front of her and for a second she forgot she was still sitting on a random bench on the sidewalk. Her hand suddenly went cold, so she looked down to see her relatively small fingers clutching on his bigger and colder hand.

"What is it?"

It was then that she remembered vividly that every time she tried to stay close to Minseok, the man seemed to be turning away or stepping back out of her way. She'd always thought he was kind of an anti-social, but then again she had only known him for three months. Now, he wasn't trying to move away, which at first she thought was kind of rude; however, it was way too uncomfortable when he actually was this close.

Her fingers were about to let go of the back of his hand when Minseok decided to take action and quickly caught her hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"Hey, how are you?"

Surprised and flustered, Jayoung silently admitted to herself that she'd never had anyone's face being this close to her, so the girl just lowered her head and stared at the many veins on his hand. How could the main characters in movies and dramas handle such proximity? This close – she felt that Minseok could see everything; this was a very vulnerable place.

"I'm just surprised – that's all."

"Jayoung-ah," the concern on his face was hard to dismiss; her eyes felt a little tired looking at something so near, but they were his light brown eyes – she couldn't look away. "If there's anything, you need. Please tell me."

Then her heartbeat sped up as if she was about to go on a class presentation. She really wanted to look away, but she also didn't.

Only when his phone rang did he let go of her hand and turned away.

She didn't even know she had been holding her breath. Her fist clenched.

When Chef came back, Minseok told them that there was a call from work and he had to run off for a few hours, promising to pick her up at the restaurant.

Jayoung just sat there silent in the bus with Chef, glad that the old man didn't ask her anything; because if he did, she wouldn't have had any idea of what had happened. 

❤

"Yonggiyong?" The deep timbre of his voice never failed to impress her in the slightest bit.

"Sunbae..." Chanyeol was right in her face; it was hard to turn anywhere else.

The light chuckle brought her back to earth, reminding her that she was still in the kitchen. "Kid's real out of it today." He gave a light tap on her shoulders and pushed her away from the sink. "You've been washing the clam for 15 minutes. If Chef caught you, you would've been in trouble."

"Maybe it's that _special_ lesson she got from Chef. Tough times, eh?" Kris passed by while dropping some vegetables for Chanyeol to clean. "Man, consider yourself lucky if the end of the day all you got from him is being tired."

Unison groans and sighs of agreement echoed the small kitchen.

The girl decided to get out of the way and let the Sunbae do their jobs. Kyungsoo and Tao were cleaning and arranging the tables while Chanyeol and Kris got their equipment and ingredients ready. Chef, on the other hand, was checking the storage room for other supplies he could use for the day.

All of this was run by six people. The scale didn't feel big to them, but for her, the premise itself sounded impossible. Then again, their busiest hours were the first 5 hours or so; the rest they could just slack off; however, she didn't want to assume that since she had never watched the whole restaurant run.

It was 4:30 pm.

"Somebody, anybody..." So far, Minseok still hadn't come. Maybe, it really was urgent at work, but the problem here was slowly getting out of hand. "Who the – tell me where Kai is."

Everyone in the kitchen had been silent for the whole hour. Her daydreams about Minseok was gone and replaced by the dread of Chef's wrath. Apparently, Kai usually showed up at 3:30 pm with what Chef had ordered him. Today was alarming due to his silence and absence.

"We couldn't get to him, Chef." Kyungsoo stated calmly while he was careful not to look directly at the old man's stare.

"Son of a –" Chef got a hold of a pan nearby but stopped himself before throwing it anywhere. "Anyone knows why he's not here?"

A slur of 'no' seemed to fuel Chef even more. The man's ears were getting redder by the second. For a moment, she thought there was steam coming out of his ears. This was something Minseok had warned her about – Chef being angry. Then again, it was the real world, and an employee was missing in an already small workforce.

"I can help."

Everyone turned to her; the Sunbae looked relieved and worried at the same time while the chef looked her up and down before heaving a frustrated sigh.

"Yeah, Chef, she could wait on the tables, do the dishes, and give out the bills." Kyungsoo quickly added, afraid that Chef would push her away.

Technically, the five of them could do the work themselves just fine, but she had seen work in the kitchen before, and a pair of hands were very useful; hence, a missing employee could really disrupt the flow of everyone's teamwork.

Tense silence consumed the kitchen. Even Jayoung couldn't look Chef in the eye anymore.

"Well, what are you still doing here? Go put on an apron." Chef finally spoke up and pointed at Kyungsoo. "You watch her."

"Ye, Chef!" everyone's shoulders relaxed; though, their faces still bear a grim look.

"Here you go." Kyungsoo dragged her to the locker room and brought out his old white uniform and black apron. "I'm the smallest, so they won't be too loose on you." Of course, she was listening to him talking about the rules and the way around the kitchen while simultaneously marveled at her borrowed chef uniform. The shoulders were a bit slack since she didn't have a wide shoulder like Kyungsoo.

"Don't rush when you pick up the plates, okay? This isn't much of a big restaurant. There are a lot of regular customers here, so they'll be fine." Chanyeol added after Kyungsoo finished showing her how to write the bill down on the computer and print it.

"You know, if you could call Minseok-shi and tell him about this, it'll be great." Tao rarely spoke to her, so when he did, it was shocking and her attention went off the road.

Then Kris started telling her that it was a thing for Chef when Minseok got upset and showed up, whatever kind of terrible things Chef was feeling all went away and focused on trying to cheer Minseok up instead of being angry himself.

"Yeah, do it. Do it now before Chef comes back."

Everyone hurdled to her and had their backs to her as protection, looking out for the old chef, while she quickly typed a message for Minseok to hurry back to the resultant.

**Oppa, Chef real angry. Hurry back if you can.**

It was 5:45 pm.

15 minutes before the restaurant opened, and Kai still hadn't arrived, which meant that she really had to do this.

Her stomach was hollow; her eyes burned when she finally remembered to blink; her hands trembled; her feet were ready to run at any time; her breath was somewhat coming out of through both her nose and her lips.

She had done something similar before – waiting tables, but she never actually worked in the kitchen. Even if she only got to clean the dishes, this was more than what she wanted.

When she felt a light squeeze on the nape of her neck, she found Chanyeol gave a wink and a whisper of 'fighting' before Chef showed up and everyone got into their respective place. Thankful for the show of encouragement, she bowed slightly to Chanyeol and turned to the old Chef.

"Right, one minute. Kris, open the door."

The tall man ran to the door and flipped the sign over while picking up the blackboard with the special recipe for the day and placing it in front of the entrance.

"Let's do this! Fighting!" Chef fired up their spirit and morale with a loud booming, lighting the excitement in her heart.

"Fighting!" everyone shouted in unison when the first customer finally entered after five minutes.

For the next three hours, everyone worked on the many dishes as more people poured into the Chinese restaurant. The girl was quite busy herself – switching from cleaning the dishes to cleaning up the tables to writing the receipts.

Of course, being new in this hectic environment, she messed up while cleaning the beef. Chef, in his fuming mode, yelled at Kyungsoo for not doing his job. This tactic was unbelievably effective in attacking her psychologically with the guilt trip of screwing up and having Sous Chef taking the blame instead of her.

The first hour she kind of bumped into everyone, which, of course, made no one there feel any better, but she slowly got the hang of it and remember their patterns, learning to avoid the huge men towering over her.

Jayoung watched the Sunbae as they served their own dishes to the customers and witnessed them hummed in bliss when the delicious hit their taste buds. One of these days, she whispered to herself, one of these days, those plates were going to hers and she would be the one serving them.

"Yong-ah, go get the torch at the back of the storeroom." Kyungsoo chirped up from the front.

Jayoung stopped washing and cleaned her hands. "Ne, Sous Chef."

A small sigh of relief left her constricted lungs. Finally, a breather. The girl found the torch within seconds but stopped to check her phone before rushing back out.

**I'll be there in 15.**

The girl whispered to Kyungsoo the news when Chef left the kitchen to pick his phone and everyone cheered and high fived each other.

"Not bad for a newbie." Kris nodded in appreciation. The statement somehow made her heartbeat stumbled and fall over.

"Come on, guys, just 10 more minutes, fighting!" Kyungsoo called out and everyone replied enthusiastically.

"Ne, Sous Chef!"

"Yong-ah, go clean up table 7."

"Got it, Chef." The girl picked the black tray and jogged to the table while hearing whispers around her, wondering if she was the new employee. They must have been the regulars if they were asking for Kai.

Her two hands gripped the tray on the way back to the kitchen, careful with her steps.

"Omo!" In front of her, someone accidentally elbowed the glass off the table, shattering it.

Jayoung quickly placed her tray on the nearby empty table and rushed to the broom and dustpan. "It's okay, sir. Please stay seated comfortably."

She calmly and carefully dusted all of the fragments onto the dustpan and emptied it in the bin before running back to the tray and handed over to Tao who had his hands over the kitchen counter. With a dry mop, she dried the floor and got a new glass of water for the customer.

"Thank you very much." A soft voice called to her when she was about to leave. That really helped get the nerves out of her system. She thought that she was going to mess up big time with this. "I'm sorry for breaking the glass."

"It's all good, sir. You don't need to apologize." the first time she saw his face after giving him a deep bow left her speechless. How could a man be that pretty? Was that even his voice? Kyungsoo was the one with the heavenly vocal cords, she assumed.

The man gave her a stunning small smile and turned to his colleague and kept talking about a company.

"You okay, kid?" Tao got a hold of her arm and looked around when he gasped. "Omo! Kiddo! You're bleeding."

There weren't many customers at the moment, so Kris and Chanyeol got her a band-aid, helping her close up the wound on the palm of right her hand, while Tao and Kyungsoo did the cleaning and washing in her place for the moment.

Apparently, Jayoung tried to reach the glass fragment underneath the tables with her hands when the broom became useless. "Can I ask Sunbae not to tell Chef?" There were some disapproving looks, but they agreed with her nonetheless.

"You handled this better than I previously thought." Kyungsoo brought her to his side, giving her a side hug, and ruffled her hair when Chef showed up.

"The hell are you doing? Go back to work, you-"

"Lay-er!"

It was as if an angel landed on earth and showed up in this restaurant with style. Minseok playfully jogged to Chef and the old man happily hugged Minseok like he hadn't been angry this whole time.

"Real stressed out at work – I have something to tell you." Minseok pushed the suddenly giddy chef to the back while motioning a phone with his hand and pointing at her.

Jayoung immediately checked her phone once the two of them disappeared and felt shadows hovering over her.

**A 12 pack of beer. Beef jerky. Rice. Stewed Pork. Dried anchovy.**

She read the message out loud. A weird combination, but this should be the answer to an angry Chef.

"You heard the girl, men!" Kyungsoo hollered, probably ecstatic at the god-like rescue from Minseok. "Get to work! Dammnit!"

"Ne, Sous Chef!"

Everyone dropped the customers' requests for the moment. Like lighting, they prepared the meal on the fancy tray faster than she could ever imagine. There was a universal agreement that Jayoung should be the one going up to the roof with the food.

Then her sunbae finally showed up.

It was 9:30 pm.

"Oh, you dick head. Where were you?" Kyungsoo smacked the back of Kai's head before going off ranting about how she had helped and Chef blew up like a hot balloon.

A happy smile was on his face though. "My mom is okay now. She got through surgery."

"WAH! Yay!" Everyone then jumped into Kai and pushing the man around while shouting congratulations to him.

"Don't tell Chef, okay? It'll make him feel bad." Kai laughed at the idiotic behaviors around him and gave Jayoung a quick hug as a thank you. "At least nothing burned down yet. Thank you."

It was then she realized that despite the harsh words and acts Chef inflicted upon everyone, they still loved and respected him. The old chef never meant anything he said; having to get the restaurant running himself without his family's help had been a strain on him. Moreover, he did give them great pays and holidays that helped everyone out. It seemed to her that Kai Sunbae must have been around a lot and tried to find money to pay the hospital bill; finally, he was able to pay everything working for the chef. Chanyeol said something about Chef being the best a human being could be, and that gave him hope and honor that he got to work with the old man.

It was 12:23 am.

"Come, Jayoung-ah, let's go." Minseok had his arm around her shoulder, beaming at her brightly, once she took off the uniform and walked out of the locker room. His warm greeting surprised her of course, but at the same time, that was exactly what she needed.

It had been a long day.

Everyone waved at her goodbye before resuming their tasks.

Minseok sped off to a nearby tea shop and rushed to her side of the car. "It's a short walk from here."

She did want to just go home and sleep, but the man insisted that she ate something first. Stepping out, she felt something draped over her shoulders. Minseok had given up his jacket, and when he had a knee on the ground and his back turned to her, she questioned the act – unable to process what was happening.

"You've been running around the whole day. Climb on."

In a different circumstance, she would refuse indefinitely, but her feet were burning from the work and she did need to eat something due to her growling empty stomach.

She didn't reply and gave in, seeing the wide and inviting back. When her body gave away on his, she felt the weight was lifted off her and comfortably snuggled her face close to his warm neck. With all the strength left in her, she embraced him the best she could. Just like that, his arms stayed rigid for her legs to rest as he slowly walked toward the tea shop.

"You've done a good job," whispered the man. 

She would have been frozen in this weather at night but being close to Minseok like this helped. 

"I'm so proud of you. You did a great job..."

This was the most relaxed she had ever been after a tiring day. The night breeze wafted past and the trees were swaying lightly, making a soothing rustling noise.

Before everything consumed her, she registered the fact that this was the first time someone praised her constantly. Even her sunbae and Chef tried to restrain themselves from saying too much. Minseok, on the other hand, was just proud of her. For once, somebody was happy that she did something she wanted.

The next minutes she spent with him giving her a piggyback while she was thankful that he didn't wear any weird colognes.

Somehow, she felt safe and afraid all at once staying so close and being this vulnerable before him. The girl silently crossed her fingers and wished that she could be like this with him forever.

❤

This meeting was important. He knew what to take from it, but as the minutes went by he felt a little more anxious. Words started to jumble and convey the same meaning the longer he listened.

Jongdae reassured him that it'd take another half hour, which was clearly unpleasant. Minseok himself didn't understand why violating employees' time was suddenly a problem for him. Time would be wasted and robbed from him, but he wouldn't have minded back then.

His feet thumped against the cold floor as each second passed. The cold air wasn't enough to stop the sweat running down his back.

He wanted to see her.

The moment the meeting ended, his fingers fumbled for his phone and call Yixing while rushing down the building.

"Wow, that was quick, huh?" a slight sting brought him back to the rooftop. Minseok did promise that he would be arriving in half an hour, but he was sitting in front of the old chef fifteen minutes later. "It must be very important..."

Worries in the elder's eyes. Then Minseok remembered that he told Yixing he had something urgent to unload – an excuse, of course.

"Well, um..." it was difficult to swallow air and made it look legitimate. He might have also mentioned Jayoung in the heat of the moment as he sped here. This happened many times though. At least, he knew how this went. All he had to do was make it as seamless and smooth as possible.

Before he could say another word, the small jumpy figure appeared from behind the old chef's back with a variety of food on the two big trays she had, which seemed easily tipped off by a waft of air, but it stayed there on her palms.

"What-"

"I had her get it ready."

The white band-aids on both her hands were slightly tearing off her skin when she laid down the trays in front of the two of them.

A large drop of sweat gathering at her chin.

Her hair tied up to a messy bun, soaked and glistened under the dim lights on the roof.

Dark circles. A girl that young shouldn't have them, he grunted.

A searing whistle-like noise pierced his ears reminding him of an old train horn. With small ragged breaths spilling out her lips, Jayoung still gave him and the old chef a bright smile. For a second there, he almost believed that she was fine.

Of course, the chef uniform looked kind of cute on her, but that didn't concern him right now.

_She's still standing?_

_How? What happened?_

There were so many questions, but he swiftly got the beer bottle, and with all the frustration in his heart, he gripped the bottle cap and twisted it open in one go as he watched her limp back down the stairs with her wobbly ramen legs. His palm would have felt hurt if he actually cared.

"Oh, I didn't know you drink beer." A high pitched giggle from his right and the old chef got the bottle opener, helping himself with an ice-cold beer. "Always whining about how great your precious soju and whiskey are... For a frugal guy, your tastes contradict your claims."

_Speak for yourself._

The beer he was holding wasn't just some cheap convenient store knock-off poorly brewed grains. Although Minseok wasn't used to it, this was bittersweet yet smooth; his anxiety washed away by the cool drink. And as he predicted, the tightness in his throat came back just as fast.

_What has this man done to .... Jayoung?_

Another gulp to silence his unnecessary thoughts.

Oh, beer. It had been almost twenty years since Yixing lived in this land of kimchi and soju, yet the Chinese man was somehow still prone to the taste this great peninsula had to offer.He still complained about the weird burning flavor of Soju no matter how many times he tried it.

"So, what is it?"

His hands trailed up to the zipper of his jacket.

The tiny desperate scream he recalled. She didn't like when he got the flu, did she? She had to take care of him – a burden on her, and no matter how hard he bit his tongue, somewhere in that twisted mind of his, he wanted to catch another cold just to see what would happen.

The jacket stayed on him nevertheless.

"What's with Jayoung?" a good place to start.

"She wanted to step in for my missing employee. I wanted to refuse, but..." Yixing tangled his fingers in his dark hair, slightly pulling on it. "I couldn't say no to her. Tell me? Could you say no to her?"

"Touché."

Minseok could understand that. The girl must have wanted so bad to try out life in the kitchen.

A confused look on the Chinese man as he continued his remarks on the girl's performance. "Still very clumsy. Messing up everyone's route." A disappointed shake of the head. Never a good sign from the 'great' Yixing. "But she did get a bit better. Just a bit."

"It's her first time in an actual working kitchen though..."

"Hmm. Don't worry. Not all hope is lost." A poke in Minseok's arm and he looked up from his drink to stare at Yixing curiously. "I do admire her grit. Unlike my employees, she didn't need me to push her to get better. She doesn't complain. Doesn't stop. Doesn't make excuses. And take responsibility well. For a kid like her, I think that's quite mature."

_Mature... of course._

"Although her talent is still debatable, her passion is undeniable." Ah, good ol' Yixing. At least he knew that Yixing hadn't completely changed. The man's values were still the same, fortunately; hard work was key – a priority from the old chef. "When the time comes, I'll try to find something for her to do. A competition... or a scholarship, perhaps... it depends."

"That's good to hear..."

For another ten minutes, they enjoyed their snacks and drinks laid before them. Minseok did try his best to shut up about Yixing and his harsh work ethic, but it was wearing thin. He had to come up with another topic.

"Oh, remember that house I wanted to buy?"

"What? That was years ago! Wait," the way the old chef chewed on the dried anchovy made him smile. So childlike for a guy who had just abused his employees. "Right! You were gonna buy that thing or some other ones with the same model and interiors- My god, it'd been so long –hold up, you're thinking of buying –"

"No, no, changed my mind about that." Back then, there were too many clouds barring him from anything. It was something the past Minseok had in his mid-twenties; energy and excitement. Maybe the aging part eroded his psyche of youthfulness.

"Huh... I thought – I mean we both agreed that it was a good one." A long sigh escaped his cool voice.

A tired thought entered his mind. It was the same problem and question he asked himself whenever she was around. Time and time again, he would forget about Soyoung and look at Jayoung, but he still remembered Soyoung and ignore the younger sister.

He downed the whole beer, hoping the thought would go away for now – he didn't want to deal with that just yet.

"There's no windowsill." Minseok croakily muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

At some point, he did kind of miss the past Yixing.

"At least, it's good that you didn't buy it right away." A soft pop he heard. Another bottle for Minseok to drink. "And that house of yours... I thought you were going to put it on sale a year ago."

There was no reason to adore the grey boring house then.

There was one now.

Lips spread in a broad smile. Her breaths no longer sounded like heavy machinery trying to function regardless of overload. Every time a soft tiny stream of cold air hit the nape of his neck he wanted to crane away, but he couldn't – afraid she would arise from her nap.

Oh his shoulders, she would hum incoherent words into his ears, in which he found solace, feeling better that she was resting.

She wasn't that heavy – no surprise there.

Luckily, he wore some thick comfortable clothes instead of the tight rigid suits.

They were in a tight-knit community, yet the place lit up elegantly reminiscent of the crazy city lights, albeit on a much smaller scale. On the sidewalk, he strolled peacefully under the street lights. His steps were calculated, deliberate; he counted every breath she took after a long while. When a few honking cars passed, he wanted to yell at the driver and block her ears, but ultimately realized his inability to do either of those things, for it would clearly wake her up.

A park was nearby. He now leaned forward against the railing of the cute wooden bridge built over the tiny artificial canal reflecting the moonlight.

"Oppa?" A faint whisper. "What? Where..."

"Took a little detour since you took a nap."

"Wait, what?" She leaned back a little. He could her body going stiff realizing she was on a piggyback.

"You just had a thirty-minute nap." He bit lips, ready himself for a reaction.

"But, wait – oppa, you said we would go to... Yeah! A tea shop? Wh-" her arms pushed against his back, no longer embracing his neck for support. "Have you standing this whole time? Oh, no, I should-"

"Just calm down..." the man chuckled and turned back to the direction of the tea shop. "Your feet were burning from excess strain anyway. I would have to support you like a crutch, which would definitely hurt us both, either way, so don't even think about walking on your own."

A comfortable silence.

"You worked too hard. I understand you love the job, but if you want to continue, learn to restrain yourself or you'll lose everything."

"I lost everything because I restrained myself." The girl weakly replied.

An awkward silence.

"Anyway, what I say here is take care of yourself, alright?"

Slowly, she leaned down against his back once more and heaved an almost defeated sigh. "Okay..."

To be frank, he wanted to question the meaning behind that, but he thought this was not the appropriate time. Even though he understood that she was talking about her sister, he felt like there was something deeper than that. Later. Maybe later.

The tea shop, fortunately, was one of the few food services that catered to the tourists' needs in the area, so like Yixing's, they didn't close until very late. They both ordered lemon iced tea to freshen their minds up along with a loaf of bread of her choosing. She needed to eat something after all.

"What are you doing...?"

Their table was at the end. Minseok thought that was enough privacy to apply some ointment.

"It'll hurt a little less." He wiggled the tube from below as he knelt to her feet and took off her shoes for her.

"That's a little-"

"Nuh-uh. No excuses."

Nothing more was exchanged as he quietly and gingerly rubbed the ointment over her angry red feet and her tired ankles. Once done, he rushed off to the bathroom to clean himself before rushing back to her – now finished with the bread.

"Hand." He held his hand out – waiting for her to do the same.

At this point, she must have given up at his attics, so the girl obeyed wordlessly.

One by one, he tore away the ragged band-aids and diligently smear proper gel over the tiny cuts. Seeing them made him felt proud of the girl for enduring this work, but at the same time, he felt terrible at the sight of such pain.

"You went to the pharmacy for these?"

"No... they're just in my car for conveniences." To which Jayoung questioned further. And so, Minseok told her about the early days of working – being employed. "My job either involves walking too much or sitting too much."

For the first three to four years, Minseok's body had a hard time keeping up with the constant strains. The first time he got muscle cramps, he remembered, was on his second date with a co-worker.

"Did not look good. At all."

Jayoung couldn't keep a straight face hearing the details of his date, and he didn't mind being embarrassed. It was just how life worked – full of embarrassment.

As he reapplied new band-aids on her hands carefully, he talked about how long the muscles and bones suffered from the lack of rest and proper supplements and vitamins.

"So I had to carry these gels everywhere because I couldn't sit longer than four hours then. Hurts every time I sit down."

_I wasn't even in my fifties yet; I'd already suffered from osteoporosis._

"There. All better." The man breathed out in relief after finishing his handiwork.

Jayoung shyly smiled at her hands and feet, bowing and softly muttering, "It hurts less now. Thanks a lot, oppa."

Putting everything back where they were, Minseok just nodded nonchalantly while trying to hide a smile himself.

"Well, don't worry," she continued, getting a hold of her tea and sipping it. "I'll cook real healthy food for you, so you won't be lacking anything anymore."

Minseok sat there close to her, staring blankly with his mouth slightly agape. The girl just went on sipping her nice cool ice tea, but there he was; eyes blinking.

Abruptly, he got up and sat on the couch opposite her, clearing his throat while pretending to read something on his phone.

"Oh, no, oppa? Did you get sick again?" Her bandaged hand suddenly landed on her forehead and then his cheeks. Why did her hand felt so sharp? "Look at you – all red."

"Ah... ha... it- it's fine. Just a bit cold. You know I did give you quite a piggyback." Of course, that was why. "Just a little tired from the walk. That's all."

He almost believed it himself, but he knew. He wasn't just tired. 

❤

❤

To say that she'd gotten sore feet would be an understatement. Every part of her that could move hurt. She felt a human punching bag, and that didn't register well with her, especially Minseok.

Jayoung could hear him moving about in the background as she clutched the fluffy blanket for comfort. There was a slight drizzle hours ago. Tiny drops of water clung onto the window while she lied there sleeping. A good night's sleep for her, but once in awhile soft lazy footsteps would wake her up from her slumber.

She didn't think it would be anything as severe as depression or DID. Maybe it was just stress. Minseok always cared too much although his words sometimes came across as mechanical.

When she heard the door to his room shut, Jayoung snuck upstairs and took a shower. The man would have sped towards her and tried to help her up otherwise.

In her room, she silently stared at her small feet, squeezing her ankles. If it hadn't been for Minseok, the pain could have been worse. Normally, she would wake up with sharp needles poking her feet every time she walked; now, she felt only a bit of strain.

A knock at her door. "Jayoung-ah? Suho's here."

Opening the door, she found Minseok startled as if he were doing something wrong. Deep breaths calmed her down when she realized that he was too close. Looking up to him, Jayoung muttered a small 'good morning' and he, too, loosened up and broke into a smile.

"You okay?"

"Ne, thanks to you, oppa." The girl playfully poked the man in his chest, letting out a giggle.

When there was no response, her brows knitted, and wanted to ask if he was okay instead.

"Yoo-hoo!? Lovebirds? Can I steal Jayoung for a minute, Umin-ah?"

Even though she had only met and talked to Suho once, Jayoung was excited and rushed down to greet Suho.

"Oppa!"

The crinkles under his eyes and the warm smile welcomed her. "Hey, sister!"

When the man opened his arms for her, she didn't even once think otherwise except running into his embrace. Suho felt like an old friend. Maybe it was because he was the CEO of the Kims' company. His charm and warmth were everywhere. No wonder why a lot of people wanted to work with him.

"Is it a day off for you, oppa?"

"Well, every day could be a day off for me if I wanted." The old brother-in-law gave her a cheesy wiggle in his brows. "I've cleared up most of my schedules and wanted to hang out with you."

"Aww?" they sat down on the couch while Jayoung hugged the small gray pillow in her arms, watching the CEO being bubbly and excited like her. "Why? What about your family?"

"I've been with them long enough, plus they kind of wanted you to cook for them. My wife has been wanting to meet you."

"Eh... What did you tell them? I talked to you once."

With the same cropped haircut, Suho had a simple white long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of loose blue jeans. Again, she had to remind herself that he was 40. Such a youthful look, she wondered if his employees had a problem respecting him, but then again, he had this thing that made everyone open up, so it wouldn't have been too hard for him to gain support.

"Hey, she's great at cooking, too. I thought maybe it'd be perfect for you both to hang out." Pulling a piece of paper out from his pocket, Suho handed it to her with a hopeful look. "Call when you're free. My wife doesn't get to talk to a lot of people other than our Soojin."

Of course, his one-year-old son. She had heard that she was working as a finance manager in the same company before they got married. His wife must have taken maternity leave to take care of the kid.

"Oh, did Minseok talk to you about our business trip to Japan? In two weeks, we'll be staying at Osaka since our client is going to host the meeting in a hotel there."

"Four days or five if anything happens." Minseok finally joined the couch on her left while Suho poked her on the right.

"You can come along – you know? I mean the meeting takes only a day. Everything else our client provides hospitality. They would be more than happy to let you travel and provide what you need." Suho nodded at her excitedly and looked to Minseok for a response.

"Umm –"

"I can go! It's just reviewing this month. Nothing much happening at school."

"Perfect!" She and Suho high fived each other when a heavy sigh interrupted them.

"No... You can't go..."

"If you're talking about the passport, I have one. My sister took me to London once years ago. It hasn't expired yet. I think next year I have to get it renewed."

"You can't go."

That few seconds of silence almost cut off her breathing tube. His furrowed brows and his grim tone said enough to show his disapproval.

"Aish, such a joy-killer as always." Her shoulders were yanked to the right and she looked up to Suho who was patting her back and gave her a reassurance nod. "Let's go eating somewhere. I know a good restaurant."

Although that lifted her mood, she was still a little shocked by Minseok's behaviors. He had never said no to anything she did before.

"Since you love cooking so much, I want to take you there. Go get your things."

Apparently, a chauffeur was waiting for them in the car. Jayoung and Suho got in the backseat and when Minseok was about to follow, the older brother barred him from coming in, closing the door and locking it in his face.

"You have her every day to yourself. My turn." Leaving his mouth open to his older brother's attitude, Minseok blankly stared at the small business card in his hand. "If you want to come with us, use your own car."

Jayoung knew it was wrong to feel any good about this but she ended up joining Suho laughing at the clueless Minseok as his chauffeur drove off, leaving the already dressed man hanging in the front of his house.

"Don't you think that was a little too harsh, Mr. Kim?" It was then she realized that the chauffeur also chuckled at what had happened.

"Oh, please. He deserved it, Secretary Lee." Or that was the secretary, of course. "Right, sister?"

She wanted to cry. She hadn't had someone treat her like a sister and take her side for a long time. Well, she did have Jimin as her best friend but this was different. Jayoung felt like Suho was actually her real brother. Resting her head on the man's shoulders, she let out a deep and long breath.

"Don't be too upset. He's always like that. Protective." Suho then told her the time he got into a small car accident and Minseok hovering him like a hawk – never leaving his side. "He cooked for me, helped me – so many things. He almost put me in a cage at the time just to make sure."

The man meant no harm by being protective, but hearing the older brother used the word 'cage' stirred something inside her. Her fists clenched and she steeled her lips.

"Oh, Our Umin tries his best to get things done and smooth things out."

She wanted to ask something about Suho or maybe Minseok – why did it take so long for Minseok to actually warm up to her? Part of his personality? Minseok was a business consultant.

A knowing look on Suho's face. He was expecting a question from her now as he leaned back and crossed his arms with a welcoming nod. Mouth open and for a split second, the sunlight rained upon the old man and the ring on his finger flickered a bright light, killing all her courage.

Of course, it took longer for Minseok to get close; they were in a 'relationship'.

10:23 am.

She still had a few hours left before she had to go back to Chef's. Angry red feet and sore muscles weren't going to stop her. Every second count. Nothing was going to spoil her class. Something like this wasn't given for free; she shouldn't take anything for granted.

After all, she, of all people, understood how fleeting happiness was.

Elegance was every movement he made. The fish was under his thumb and the chef sliced the head off with what seemed to her a very delicate touch. There was no violence to the way he prepared the salmon. Fluidity flowed through his hands as if he was dancing with the knife. Her eyes trained. Her attention captivated.

This chef was different from her Chef. Everything he did was more carefree and gentle. Chef was also delicate from time to time, but to him, it was more of a rougher dance than anything. Every chop sounded louder and looked sharper than what she was seeing right now.

"Drink your water, kid." A chuckle from Suho.

She hadn't really picked up a particular style of her own yet though she just copied most things from Chef's mannerism. The left-handed chef in front of her was intriguing nonetheless.

Jayoung had always loved Japanese restaurants most since they displayed their food preparation as part of the experience. Other restaurants rarely did that due to their nature being too big or complicated cluttered with too many staff.

It was a miracle that she found Chef's restaurant. Thanks to Minseok.

When the chef slowed down now and then, her mind would drift back to the man who refused her stay at Osaka earlier. Picking up her glass water, Jayoung briefly turned back and glanced at the entrance behind her – not knowing if she was waiting for him to show up or wishing that he never came.

"Enjoy your meal."

"Ne, itadakimasu." Jayoung slightly bowed at the old smiling chef who also seemed to notice her staring.

"You're a quiet one." His wrinkles added up as his brows creased.

"She's got a keen eye for chopping," Suho helped her answered since her mouth was full of tasteful salmon sushi. Every time, why couldn't they just wait till she was finished? "This one is precious."

"Most I heard was boring conversations or way too exaggerated reactions to what I'm doing." The girl didn't even know she burned her gaze through his hands until the Japanese chef admitted. "Don't tell my other customers, please."

An excuse from Suho and he was gone. To the restroom, he said. While she clawed her own thin black sleeves, Jayoung sighed at the fact that the older didn't have a jacket with him. How could he stand this cold? The AC must have dropped below zero at this point. Shaking her head, she quickly downed two more sushi – not wanting the kind old chef to see her teeth chattering like a wet puppy.

"I'm sorry – uh, have we met before?" A familiar voice to her left and a mop of dirty blond hair greeted her.

"Oh, you're-"

"Right! I spilled the drink yesterday." The man gave her a polite nod before taking a seat beside her. "This is a pleasant surprise."

Honestly, Jayoung hadn't any idea to interpret the statement. Was he sure this was pleasant?

A dashing maroon suit caught her attention at this point. She wondered Minseok had a suit the same color. "Wait, what?" she questioned her own thought.

"I'm Luhan. Hopefully, you don't mind me trying to mend things."

"Sir, it's fine." She looked at his smooth hand for a second before taking it. This was Korea. Did he really have to make her shake his hand?

"Um... Jayoung."

"No _sir_ needed." That smile again. Such clear brown eyes.

She didn't think there were chocolate brown eyes brighter than Minseok's.

_Hold UP._

"Luhan-ah, you think I would have a chance? Maybe, I'm too old?" Another voice joined the conversation. Something her tone almost made Jayoung breathless. She couldn't see the woman's face since she sat further to Luhan's left.

"Hey, there you are..."

The two people then lost their causal tones and manners and became professional in just seconds. Ah, she mouthed to herself, Suho's employees or something like that.

While they conversed, the front doors opened, catching her attention. A breath of relief escaped her lips when a familiar build stepped forward. His blond hair was disheveled and when his gaze landed on her, the man gave a small knowing smile. Waving back at Minseok, she waited for him to jog to her.

Before Minseok could get to her, however, the woman behind Luhan became aware of his presence and slightly whipped her dark red hair to her right. Each step of her heels made seemed to chip away at Jayoung's confidence as the girl silently watched the woman effortlessly showed off her charm and let out a cute laugh.

_Wow..._

This had been what she dreaded. A professional and respected woman. They must also be co-workers.

Jayoung turned back to her plates, and the green paste suddenly looked attractive. With a chopstick, she poked at the wasabi until some paste got stuck and put into her mouth. What seemed like molten lava to her sensitive taste buds was invading her every sense. Normally, she would try to get water and yell out for help, but her lips clamped shut and dealt with the burning sensation on her own.

That did help her block the flirty conversation out. She understood that the brothers couldn't say anything about the marriage yet until she was legally eighteen in international age. Privately arranged marriage was something she thought to be illegal in every word of it, but apparently, in Southeast Asia, that wasn't the case.

More paste landed on her tongue as she got a hold of her phone, dialing a number. Twitching lips somehow calmed her down when Jimin answered, "Yes, sure, Jimin, I'll be there in ten minutes."

_"What? Where? Are you okay? Where you at?"_

The girl stepped down the tall seat and pushed past everyone, "Suho-oppa, bye! Duty calls!"

Waving at her, the old brother didn't seem to mind her sudden leave since he did tell her that he would be meeting with someone else after the meal and that she could return with Minseok while Luhan and the woman raised their brows questioningly. During which she was giving Jimin the address, her small hand brushed his open palm lightly. For a second there, she wished he had closed his hand on her wrist.

Jayoung jogged on the sidewalk until she met Jimin half-way. The pink-haired boy didn't say much as he handed her a box of tissue to wipe off her sweat. While she cleaned her taste buds of wasabi with water, they drove quietly towards Chef's restaurant.

2:35 pm.

When Chef sighted her, they just exchanged a firm nod, which caused an echo of whispers around the kitchen. She and Chef usually greeted each other with hugs, but _like master, like student_ , in her current mood, she could only muster a nod to which Chef did the same. Today, everyone had to meet up earlier than usual. The girl just stood at the end of the line next to Tao while Chef started giving instructions.

The situation was slightly tensed. Chef's tone was still as cold as ever since last night. Everyone carried on their tasks. While Jayoung had her own chopping board at the back learning by herself as to not disturb the other six working chefs, a playful push in her back followed by a sudden gasp entered her ears.

"You're cutting yourself, Yong-ah."

Kai woke her up from her trance when she noticed the blood starting to pool on the chopping board. Her left index finger's flesh almost cut off entirely but the girl just silently pushed the flesh back and ran water over the cut while Kai helped her put on the band-aid and cleaned up the board. So far there were six band-aids on her hands now.

"Must be tired from last night, right?" The man's sultry voice seemed to pacify her of her worries and the pats on her back did help. "Take it slow today, okay? Or you might actually cut off a whole finger next time."

That night she let Jimin pet her to sleep – not knowing what to talk about. Japan, Minseok, or her parents.

🌹

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

_No, nothing is._

"Minseok-shi?"

A snap of a finger brought Minseok back to the restaurant. "Of course, Minsoo-shi. Right? Right."

Suho intervened stopping both Luhan and Minsoo from questioning him.

_I_ _just got here._

Jayoung left without a word; Minseok felt offended at some point. Was he not fast enough? It should be a universal agreement that bad traffic could be a reasonable excuse. Not until the older brother got his hands did Minseok discovered his whole body had been shaking from adrenaline this whole time.

"Why did she leave?" asked Minseok breathlessly.

"Why don't you go after her?" Suho interjected with a calming smile. "Oh, brother. No wonder why you had one girlfriend your whole life..."

What made this worse was he wasn't the one who confessed first either.

"Live a little. Chase after her." they excused the pair to their food ordering chat. Whispering encouragement in his younger brother's ears, Suho let a chuckle. "Survey says 99% of women like it if you chase after her."

"First of all, it's creepy. Secondly, it's their right to run off. And finally," Minseok turned to his giggling brother. This man really needed a reality check. Dumped him alone, going off with Jayoung, and still had the nerve to push his buttons. "Korean Dramas are not considered as reliable information, so stop slapping that survey in my face."

"Oh... okay... " Minseok stared blankly at the back of Suho's hands as they held his shoulders, drawing his attention towards his gentle face instead. "It's okay to get what you want – you know that right?"

There wasn't much he needed to know that the girl wanted some time alone, so instead of going straight to Yixing's; he decided to chill out with Chenchen at the dog park for a chunk of time, thinking about nothing but her. It must be the trip. He still remembered the way her expression fell when he made his decision. It almost hurt him in a way seeing her becoming drained of life in just seconds.

"Hey, there you are." Yixing greeted him with a warm hug as usual, but he couldn't keep his eyes on him for long before searching for the girl.

"Oh, Jayoung-ah –" A wave for her, but she just walked past once more waving at Chef and the others except him.

The whole kitchen fell silent and once she left the building, he could see Kyungsoo pushing the others to keep working while glaring at them. As he let the old chef dragged him up the roof, Minseok racked his brains trying to think what he did so wrong.

"Man, what happened? She's so out of it." They both leaned on the railing watching the traffic below. "I thought yesterday she wasn't herself, but I take that back."

"It's the Japan thing." Sighed Minseok. He tried all he could to be the best and help her out – the only thing he refused was Japan, and she still got mad.

"What?"

"A business trip to Japan. I told her to stay."

"Oh, why would you? That could be the perfect time for the two of you to hang out." He stated it as-a-matter-of-factly. The thought gave Minseok a small room to breathe.

"It could be dangerous.."

"Just say that you're afraid to be with her, will you?" Looking away from the eyes' of the judging Chef, he shook his head. He wanted to say something else. This wasn't the problem. He wanted to refuse and come up with an excuse. However, his brain was blank. "How many times do we have to have this conversation? Right when you're about to be comfortable, you just have to revert to being the old you. Come on, you're better than this."

"I promised her sister I'd look after her and protect her. I can't just let her go to further places like that!" Pulling on his blond hair, he stuttered through his sentence trying to justify his decisions. It was the truth. All he wanted was to protect and keep her safe.

"And putting her in the kitchen is safe? Look, if you break everything down to the basics, everything is dangerous. What you just said was a flawed argument."

Unspeakable things could happen, and Minseok stood by his statement. He didn't trust himself enough to guarantee her safety in the foreign place.

"Minseok-ah... to protect someone means keeping them close and making sure harm doesn't get to the both of you – not push them away. What's important is you deal with the problems together and walk out the battle zone scarred, hurt, and limping while supporting each other. Every one of us is prone to danger. We just have to learn to endure it."

Silence followed his words. Minseok had already made his mind. Yixing had to understand that. Jayoung had to understand that. Everyone had to.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Yixing and he both knew it was hard to change his mind. Although he did consider the old chef's words, Minseok just couldn't really see what was wrong with keeping her here.

The orange glow cast upon his eyes making him squint. Sunset was coming soon as the air slowed down around him. Hopefully, Jayoung would be home by now.

"Where is she going to stay when you're gone anyway?"

"Her parents'."

"What?! Didn't she use to say that her parents don't like her cooking? How could she come over and practice?" Of course, Minseok, too, had already thought of that. No parents could stay mad at their child forever. Jayoung was a lot better now at cooking. Maybe they would give her a chance.

"Well, I think they should work it out. My parents kept in touch with us more than hers and I didn't want them to drift apart."

A slow nod from Yixing. Minseok still remembered his look. The old man then shook his head and frowned at him just like when he decided to date Rion. "Right... But I still don't think this is a good idea. I mean... at least not so soon."

"It's been months, Lay-er."

A ring on his phone caught them both off guard. It was a message from Jimin.

**Old man, why? Let her go with you.**

**By the way, I don't think she would be home tonight.**

"Why does everyone want her to go?" even his brother seemed to think so. "It's just.. a few days... it's –"

"You have to look at the bigger picture here. There's a reason why hindsight is viewed as bad." 

He watched the old chef retreat to the door before he descended the steps going back to his work. 

"I don't have anything more to say. You should know it by now."  
  


🌹

🌹

Callous fingers scratching his brows as he stared at the ticking clock.

8:30 pm.

The purple sky out the window got his mind reeling. The sight was rare. He wondered if she was looking at the same sky as he was. The color would have set her chestnut hair ablaze glowing a different light, which he would want to look at.

2 days and 3 nights she had been away.

Scraped by the worry, he found it hard to fall asleep. The man didn't think that the world would weigh heavier than it already was. The air conditioner dried his tired eyes. His muscles pulling in places making his one comfortable blanket stiff. His mattress was slightly soggy from his sweats.

Jayoung managed to disarm him completely, disturbing his thoughts and his dreams. Why was it so wrong to be protective?

Shaking leg itched at his mind – wanting to get to her. They should be fighting like adults albeit she wasn't one yet. The guilt was really scorching his consciousness away. Taking her to Japan could be problematic. He wouldn't be able to look after her when he was gone. However, Yixing's words burned into his mind like scripture.

_"Just say that you're afraid to be with her, will you?"_

A hopeless sigh as he gazed at his blank grey wallpaper.

**I have something to tell you, old man. Let's talk face to face. It's about Jayoung.**

The text he got in the middle of the night really didn't help him sleep at all. Just the mere mention of her name now began to haunt him. His thoughts were still misty about the girl. He wasn't sure. Like Yixing said, although he was willing to accept what was going on, his eagerness to go back to the way it once was was still there.

At this point, he didn't care if the kid wanted to scold him as Yixing and Suho did with his decision.

The man had mourned Soyoung long enough to quiver and shatter at the thought of Jayoung getting hurt or in trouble. Out of a sad promise and perhaps instinct, he had to care for her, but it was starting to dawn on him that he was doing the exact opposite. After all, she wasn't with him now. Jimin was looking after her at the moment.

There had to be some limits. If she went too far off the line...

"Hey, open wide~~" Jongdae was sitting across the table, holding a piece of meat in his chopsticks. "Come on, you can do it. You can do it."

Minseok glared at the man who was making a duck face at him trying to be romantic and goofy at the same. Unfortunately, the only thing he could do was welcoming the meat with much disinterest. It was delicious, but he tried to hide his excitement. In any case, he knew someone who could cook meat better suiting his taste.

"Yah, cheer up. I'm sure the kid will understand your intentions." A gleeful look in Jongdae's eyes never failed to make him smile though. "At least you're eating something. You know how hard it was to feed you then?"

"Sunbae! Hyung! How dare you!" a familiar tall figure appeared and dropped himself right next to Jongdae. His words were filled with a tone of annoyance, but his jumpy kicks and flailing arms said otherwise. "You're being sweet to Minseok-hyung. Why not me?"

"Well, our Jongdae usually takes a while to warm up to strangers." Minseok admired Sehun's boldness. In a place this, it could get him a higher position – if Suho was around anyway. Other employees tend to find competition threatening.

"But I'm not a stranger."

Before Jongdae could say anything... "Have you gone on a date yet?"

"He keeps coming up with excuses. I hate it, but I love it at the same time. You're so adorable, Sunbaenim!"

"Hey! Yah! This is workplace harassment."

These two bickerings always lightened up his mood. Jongdae clearly enjoyed the attention he was getting from the younger although it wasn't something intimate. Minseok could see right through him.

Sometimes it was also maddening for him. From time to time, he would see Jayoung actually clawing at Jongdae laughing with him.

"Hold on there, buddy."

Jongdae pushed a few tissues in his face as Minseok continued to choke on his favorite Jasmine tea.

"Are you okay?"

When the man looked up to see Jayoung handing him the tissues with a smile asking him if he was okay, he jumped in his seat.

"You're really weird these days." The sharp tone of Jongdae's voice brought him to earth. Minseok just stared at his two colleagues keep on clawing at each other's throats.

"You're really weird, too, Sunbae."

His chest heaved in panic as he tried to calm down looking away from the two men playing around, watching the people outside the restaurant through the glass wall. It didn't really help since one by one each pedestrian looked like Jayoung in a blink of an eye and disappeared just as quickly.

This had happened to him before, but instead of Jayoung, there were plenty of walking chicken drumsticks all over the place since he hadn't got much to eat.

The girl was really interfering with everything now, but still, she was not to blame. Calculating plans got them together. The reality of their relationship always came back to him like needles creeping into his skin tearing apart his sanity every time it did so. He wished it could be that simple. Not having to be wary of boundaries he was crossing.

Instead of going straight home, Minseok found himself sitting on a wooden bench staring at the Han river down below. He could feel the sun setting behind him as the currents carried away the distorted reflection of the warm orange sky. The air was cool and fresh, cleansing his rampant mind of fears and hypnotizing him.

It was inevitable. Their fate was forced upon them. He couldn't stay away from her nor could she, so he phoned her parents about his trip and her having to stay there for the time being since he was leaving in less than two weeks.

_For the time being..._

Even if he were to follow Yixing's advice and go through with this, how long could they last? Their falling out was certain.

This wasn't something agreed upon. No universal arrangement. One of his Chinese relatives was honing on and on about the new forced marriage laws in some other countries, complaining about how the tradition was going away. Living in Britain, he found the ban on arranged marriages were undermining ancient heritage. With the best natural smile he could muster, Minseok kept his impulse in check making sure he wouldn't burst into a boring controversial argument.

A sense of duty he indeed felt. Of course, his parents were important, but at this point, after what happened... Jayoung had made her way up his priority list. He didn't hate his parents but after Soyoung's death... he could see the harm done with parents trying to be thoughtful with good intention, not seeing the consequences.

Why did he still say yes to Jayoung anyway? While knowing full well that the parents were going down a perpetual state of destruction.

He knew about the worst-case scenarios. Parents hunting down and killing their children if they wouldn't conform to the 'culture'. Minseok wouldn't want to say the same thing about his parents. It wasn't their fault that he couldn't find himself a potential and suitable partner. It wasn't their fault for wanting what was best for their children. It wasn't Rion's fault that she was just a simple woman in a lower class. But after everything so far... he could only trust himself now on doing the right thing.

As he stared at the bridge from afar longingly, Minseok only wished the girl all happiness in the world. And he would be the one to help her with that whether she liked it or not. 

🌹

6:00 pm.

For the first time in a long time, he was home early. Jongdae was more than impressed with his speeding down the company stairs not bothering waiting for the elevator.

Fingernails scratching the couch as he laid back with a heavy heart.

Then the familiar ring of the door he heard.

"Ah!"

"It's me - Minseok." Although this wasn't the time to laugh, he found the girl jumping at his presence a little amusing.

Today, Jimin had told him that she would drop by to pick something up and of course, expected both of them to mend things with each other. The guy didn't want to house the girl for too long. For personal reasons.

And talking about Jimin, they hadn't been able to meet up and talk since their meeting was supposed to be in secret without Jayoung's knowledge. One more thing to worry about.

"Well, I've been waiting for you these days..." he didn't feel good lying but Jimin did tell him not to let her know that her best friend was teaming up with him.

The girl didn't say but slowly retreat upstairs to her room.

He didn't even register the fact that he was feeling such immense longing for her to come back this whole time until he was forced to watch her this close to him walking away not giving him even a glance. Her long hair was perfect for her to hide her face. The only thing he could do to stop himself from going to her was turning away as she went upstairs.

"I really miss your cooking..." a defeated voice echoed the house as he burned his gaze at the grey wall in front of him. Footsteps stopped for a few seconds before continuing upstairs.

Once more, he dropped himself on the couch, shoulders slumped, eyes glued to the grey carpet.

He should try harder, Yixing would have told him, but was it appropriate? If she wanted space, he should give her all the space she needed.

Half an hour passed and she emerged once again, but this time she wasn't dressed in something for the outdoors. She was in her usual blue pajamas.

His brows immediately raised after the constant frowning at his foot. Jayoung then caught his eyes staring at her as she approached the kitchen. It felt like a forever silent exchange between them when she cracked a small smile and waved at him shyly. Of course, Minseok was instantly delighted and almost ran from the couch the moment she let him.

A giggle left her lips and he somehow found that fascinating. He hadn't heard her voice for so long.

_It's only been four days..._

"What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head gleefully at him. "Why don't you go change? I'll cook dinner for you."

"No. I want to watch." To his defense, the man hadn't actually watched her prepare a meal from start to finish before since he wasn't around when she usually cooked, only catching a glimpse of her cooking from time to time.

Minseok then folded his arms resting them on the kitchen table and tucked his legs under the chair, waiting intently for her to start.

Jayoung was understandably surprised. Eyes wide and lips biting while looking around nervously. Fingers playing with her hair. "What... you're making me ... anxious, oppa."

"But you have everyone watched you cook at Yixing's." Minseok tilted his head in question.

"Eh... they're - well," hands over her face, hiding from him, she muttered just enough for him to hear. "They're not you."

A hiccup escaped his lips. All of a sudden, something like an ocean wave washed over him and sucked him into the eye of the storm; first, hitting the crazy whirling wind of a tornado then floating in the calming center.

He sat there, lips slightly parted at her blushing.

"Jimin, Chef, and sunbae.. they're like.. well, you know... I practice and learn from them. You're - you're," with a nervous laugh, she turned to him once more and stretched her arms downward, giving him short glances before looking down at her very interesting hands. "You're my first audience. Sort of..."

_First..._

That took him back all the way to the first few days they spent together. He was surprised to know that he was the first to eat her food.

A cluster of thoughts whirled in his already messy brain. He couldn't have been the first of everything. Obviously, others had watched her cook like she said, and clearly, her best friend could have also been the first to taste her food from what he could tell. They seemed close enough to have shared everything considering the fact that they went back and forth with each other as if they were siblings.

One half of his brain was slightly upset at the word 'first' being thrown around, having no meaning perhaps in the purpose of flattering him. He knew he wasn't officially the 'first'.

However, the other half was shocked and pleased - unable to pick one. Even if he wasn't technically the 'first', she chose to tell him that. She chose him. The idea set his cheeks ablaze, and he shook his head. Obviously, it was for her to decide. No arguing with that.

And so his eyes followed her every movement as she even set the cutting board in front of him on the table with every ingredient in place.

A cooking show he was watching except this had a lot less talking and more excitement. The genre itself never really caught his attention, which he had once thought of as not as fun as Yixing's ramblings and weird taste of jokes about being old, awesome, and robbed of dignity. If this were an actual TV show, the views would have been extremely low. Probably the views were just him and himself alone. In a weird twisted way though, there was something about having to see this all by himself.

He noticed she would knit her brows every time she start working on the cutting board; her lower lip sucked in slightly. Strains of her chestnut hair would fall and block her eyes prompting her to push them away with the back of her hands.

Sharp breaths he took.

_I can help with hair clips..._

Unfolding his arms, Minseok pinched his legs underneath the table while Jayoung cut up the different vegetables preparing Bibimbap for dinner.

"Oppa, here." The girl had brought out the white cubes of pickled radish from the refrigerator for him. "Snacks."

He couldn't hide his smile. Not with her.

Before he could stand up, Jayoung had these wooden chopsticks picking up a radish and pointing at his face. She didn't say much and only opened her mouth in silence waiting for him.

To handle the situation, Minseok just wordlessly did the same and the feel of the cold sweet radish spiking up his brain once it touched his lips.

Not really a big deal for her since she just picked one for herself and ate it like nothing had happened at all.

From start to end, he watched her mix the ingredients, prepare the vegetables, minced beef, and the dishes for the Bibimbap then cooked two perfect fried eggs. The cooked vegetables were assorted in eight different pieces in one bowl with a fried egg on top.

"I want to make your favorite bulgogi, but we're out of stuff again." Her lips tightening, her voice lowered.

"It's okay. This smells really good. I really like Bibimbap, too." A typical Korean man like him could not resist the classic Korean prized dish.

_More grocery time with you..._

As they finished the meal together with Minseok's constant praise and Jayoung's timid gratitude, Minseok realized that he couldn't really ignore the something gnawing in his mind.

It made sense. He missed her while she was gone. He was happy when she was back. He found her actions fascinating. Everything about her was mesmerizing. Her simple want for a good meal warmed his stale heart every time, and as long as he thought of her, he thought of home.

"Jayoung-ah?"

"Ne, oppa?"

They were washing the dishes together. She got the dish soap, cleaning up the residue. He waited for the cleaned dishes and rinsed everything, putting them on the rack.

Her neck craned hard to look up to him. Her eyes wide waiting for him to say something.

"I... uh..." the man cleared his throat. Maybe he should have washed that down with water before washing the dishes. "It's ... I have something to tell you."

His mind went blank, but that something else was crying far back down the bottom of his heart. His lips went dry; the silence was dragging now.

"I - um."

Soyoung popped up hissing at him with shock and disdain, which wasn't that surprising at all. Yixing would tell him not to think about it and just go for it, but he just couldn't - not this fast... not this desperate...

"Boop!" Cool bubbles on his nose and he was yanked out of his deep thoughts. "Always wanted to do that." She was so casual and at ease, it was a bit out of place. Then again, he hadn't seen her going out of control even after all of this. There were outbursts here and there - reasonably so.

"I like - I like," his words jumbled and when their eyes met this time, he just went, "I want to tell you that I've called your parents."

A small sigh he heard.

"I understand." The smile seemed natural... naturally rehearsed. She looked relieved just as he was though, so that could be something genuine. "I have to stay with my parents when you're gone, right?"

Minseok, meanwhile, was reduced to just nodding and humming at this point.

"I know you're going to say no, but why can't I at least stay here?"

No, he couldn't be watching a movie. The cracked voice along with the drooping posture was tearing him apart. He could understand how to feel empathy, but not this intense.

"I haven't seen them for so long." The upbeat tone caught him off guard. "Maybe I can impress them with my new cooking skills. Maybe then they'll like it."

"Of course, they have to." When the smell of soap filled his nose, Minseok wiped the bubbles off and with soaking hands, he ruffled her hair. "You've improved so much."

Jayoung didn't mind anything after all. The girl just giggled under his touch and continued washing the dishes. If this were to happen to Jongdae or Rion, they would flip out and chase him around the house.

He noticed the calendar had tomorrow checked off by her note. There was another celebration and she would be back early, so he decided to bring her to her parents then since they wouldn't have any other free time. With an early leave from his senior, Minseok went to pick Jayoung up at school.

3:30 pm.

"Should I pack?" There wasn't much excitement in her voice.

"Up to you." Minseok didn't know how to react either. The man just hoped that her family could work it out.

They stepped into the intimidating villa. It was clear that the family was quite well off. However, inside resides a quite marble interior lacking anything exciting. Elements of the old tradition scattered around the place. There was traditional Korean calligraphy adorning the area saying things like _Legacy, Honor,_ and _Fortune..._

The family photo depicted four people: the parents, Soyoung, and Jayoung. Where was Doyoung?

Her parents never failed to scare him with their brooding looks, but they were understandable. Losing your children wasn't something you could get over very easily. Jayoung looked reasonably nervous. They hadn't talked for a while.

The conversation started a little shaky, but they eventually seemed relaxed and loose.

His phone rang and he excused himself to pick up the call outside leaving the family to catch up on things. Jongdae informed him that the Japan trip had changed holding the meeting two days earlier than scheduled. The younger phoned him to pack things up.

Normally, after a meeting like this, everyone could just go back home immediately, but this time the host requested that everyone stayed and enjoyed the luxuries they would provide as a thank you gifted, encouraging guests to bring their family members or friends with them.

Of course, Jongdae tried one last time to make him bring Jayoung. "Oh, come on. Dae-ah..."

"Mian~~ It'll be fun, you know? I don't have siblings, so Sehun is the best I can call a friend', plus I kind of want to make friends with her. Hate to be stranger since she's ... well, your wife and Soyoung's sister."

"Right..." Minseok wanted to push the younger with Sehun, but he restrained himself. There would plenty of time to do that when the time came. "Don't worry about Jayoung. Just give her some time. No need to rush her."

After he ended the call, he was about to went back in when he got another text from Jimin.

**I can see you. What are you doing here?**

A pink head popped into his vision and Minseok rushed to the gates to the young man. It wasn't that surprising to find him here since they were neighbors and childhood friends.

"We're here to meet her family."

"Wait, _we're?_ Jayoung's with you?"

The next words got his head spinning. Throwing his car keys to the kid, he ran back to Jayoung in the house. He found her drooping her head while the parents hovered over her like the helicopter parents they were.

Minseok got close to Jayoung; his ears no longer heard anything else but her shaky breaths. Tears falling from her eyes. Even though she closed them so tight, she couldn't help spill all those tears onto her lap. Strands of her hair hid her face, and with a deep breath, Minseok finally got the courage to push them away. Her cheek looked redder than normal.

"Come on," placing his hands on her shoulder, he gave her a push and whispered to her gently. "Let's go home."

"Home?" A broken voice along with a small hiccup.

Ignoring all the words her parents spitting at him, the man just picked her up bridal style and got of the place as fast as he could.

"I'm always a little too late for her." Jimin weakly mumbled at the driver's seat while Minseok held Jayoung close to him letting her cry on his shoulders.

First, only words. Scolding her was what they did best. She always came sulking with Jimin after a few hours, but they always started with just harmless words considered as teaching her a lesson. Soon, it got physical. The girl never told Jimin anything, but he could tell. He knew she didn't want anyone to know about it. They were young, and all he could do was comfort her after everything was over.

Jayoung fell asleep midway crying. And as Jimin kept explaining what he had failed to deliver early, Minseok realized why Soyoung was being so spiteful. That was how she worked under stress perhaps. Under her parents' constant abuse, hurtful words must have been the only way she knew how to express herself.

_Is this why she's so ... mature?_

"She could barely speak for herself. Always agreeing to everything cause she was afraid..." The kid drew out a long deep breath. "You really need to ask her what she wants or else... I don't want her to be like her sister."

Not that Soyoung was the problem. The way she handled matters was troubling due to her parents' negligence.

Looking at her small frame with tears soaking his shirt, Minseok knew that he could never let anything like that happen again and was determined to make sure she wouldn't turn out like Soyoung.

🌹

_"We don't want you to do that."_

_"It's not right. We tried so hard. We even got all the applications ready for you. It's-"_

_"Have you ever asked what I want to do? Have you ever asked any one of us that?"_

Her eyes were slow-moving today. Maybe due to the swollen red lids after crying so hard yesterday. The smell of a strange unfamiliar aroma hit her nose and the girl looked around her. There were no longer grey boring wallpapers around but white and blue running over the whole room. Even the bright colors could relax her immediately despite the fact she was in an unknown room.

She went ahead and stretched herself when something tugged at her right hand.

Jayoung then looked over to the right to see Minseok lying next to the bed below with his body on his left, his hand clutching hers, and his head uncomfortably rested on the huge pillow.

_The whole night?_

With a gentle squeeze, she studied his left hand. Rough digits. Faintly wrinkled skin on the back. Fingers when all straightened revealed to have holes and spaces in between. Middle finger slightly crooked at the top. Fingernails with a few tiny white spots and the end of them were rugged as if he had scratched something destroying the smooth edge.

"Jayoung-ah..." his tired eyes caught her stare and the man sat up, leaning his body on the bed; his face was close while he studied her posture and expression.

The girl didn't say anything, letting him use his free hand to stroke her hair. Her palm gripped his a little harder and he didn't even hesitate to return the grip.

"I'm so sorry. I should have known better. Why –"

"Oppa, it's not your fault." Jayoung could barely raise her head, so she just lay there looking up to him.

"No, I ... I wanted to protect you, but – I didn't want to be like my parents, but I did exactly just that." His morning voice was deep and hoarse. His eyes begged everything to stop. "I can't believe it. I'm still my parents, trying to do what's best for you without your..."

"It's okay." It was incredible to feel how smooth his cheek was. Her left hand tried to brush tender touch so he could understand. "It happens."

Parental instincts were strong and she knew that. The first time she met his parents she could tell they were different from hers. Although both of their parents wanted them to pursue higher dreams, she knew their intentions weren't the same. His parents were protective of him while hers were protective of their reputations.

When he leaned into her touch and closed his eyes with a broken sigh, she was brought back to the first they 'kissed' at the altar – if lips barely touched and faces turned away in an angle that nobody could tell they actually kissed or not. The same broken sigh before he leaned in. She first thought he was irritated with the wedding ... with her, but she realized that it was far from that.

"Please if you keep blaming yourself, I won't ..." she tried to think of something but words left her lips. The way he looked at her had her speechless. She wondered if her parents had the same caring expression for her at all.

"I should have asked what's wrong. I should have –"

"I wouldn't have been able to tell you either way."

"So, talk to me?"

When she was about to draw her hand back, his right hand came to and kept hers on his face while gently rubbing circles on the back of her hand.

There was no point in hiding anymore.

"As much as I hated my sister for leaving me alone, I understand that she wanted to leave." Sometimes, she averted her gaze to his forehead or the ceiling – unable to stand the intense stare. "Doyoung ran away. That's why you don't hear much about him."

Her parents had always wanted a son to continue their legacy. To get a hold of the company. She never understood why after having so much money, they would still want something more than that. Couldn't they just live with what they had?

"Doyoung and I are the same age. It was never revealed to the public..." she continued – eyes slowly filled up with tears once more. "that he was adopted."

She could tell Minseok didn't look too happy about this information. Confused and upset at the same. His eyes examined every inch of her face.

"They had always wanted a son, but... they got us." Jayoung closed her eyes. Her chest filled with pain. "They changed everything about him. He was like the perfect doll they could dress up and it was too much for him. The kid asked if I wanted to run away with him. Oppa, Doyoung is a really nice kid –"

Minseok stayed silent. His grip tightened on her hands giving her reassurance. She felt like she could be safe in his hold.

"They resent me and my sister... for being women." A dry humorless laugh she uttered and Minseok's frowns were understandably deeper – shocked at the revelation. "I guess being a cook doesn't really make me _manlier._ "

"Oh, Jayoung-ah..."

"It made them more resentful of me being a woman and reminded them of being unable to raise a son."

All of this she knew from her sister. She once thought they wanted her to get better and more privileged jobs so she could live a more comfortable life, but they only did so because of their reputation. Because they couldn't get a son. She never once understood why her parents refused to buy her toys especially the _girly_ ones. She remembered when Doyoung was playing with her dress and wanted to try it for laughs, her father scolded the kid for being inappropriate, saying that men shouldn't play with girl things.

"I helped Doyoung run away." The first time she confided this to anyone. Not even Jimin knew about this. "I guessed they thought it was my sister's idea and really wailed at her, but she knew, so she went along. I didn't know what kind of things they did to her, but ... I hate to say but ... I'm glad my sister got away from it all."

"Come here." A small whisper and he pulled her close for a hug – one she didn't know she desperately needed. "You did well. You did the right thing. You're not in the wrong... don't blame yourself."

"Only if you promised you wouldn't do the same."

"I promise. This is none of our fault. Just... really bad timing."

With that, she relaxed in his arms, feeling better with every pat on her back. What felt like a blink of an eye, Minseok telling her everything was okay and soothing her, ended up being half an hour. He never let go first until she did.

Something was becoming clear that she couldn't really run away from this man. That she didn't even want to run away at all. Maybe with him, she could go further.

The heartbeats she felt against calmed her down but also made her anxious as well.

"Where is this place?"

"Oh, it's Jongdae's _Secret_ Condo." When he cracked a smile, she couldn't help but do the same. "Only he and I know about this."

"For what exactly?" she tried to sit up and the man leaned back, giving her the space to do that on her own, which she appreciated. There was a suspicious tone in her voice. It took him a while but he caught the message.

"hey- not – That's not what I meant."

"I didn't say anything." Walking around inspecting the place, she bit her lips trying not to laugh.

"It's for emergencies. He bought this place just in case he needed to run away from his parents and hide, and he told me about it when we were friends, so yeah... a little hideout to think things through." Minseok scratched the back of his head, looking a little red. "I'm surprised he didn't change his code all these years."

_He brought us all the way here... to hide?_

Jayoung let out a dry chuckle, doubting if her parents were going to come looking at all.

"Whatever you say..." It was 6:10 am. She caught the clock. "We should go home and get ready."

"You sure you can go to school?" worried clearly written on his face, but surprisingly Minseok just nodded slightly and told her to freshen up before they leave.

She thought he would be strict like normal, but that changed a little.

As they drove back home, the new scenery kept entertained while her mind swung back and forth about her family problems.

"Jayoung-ah..." Eyes still on the road while his free hand held hers with an encouraging squeeze. "I don't know what they said to you, but don't listen to them, okay? Listen to me. You do whatever you want, alright? I'll make sure I see everything through."

He seemed a lot calmer, looking here and there focusing on the road while holding her hand tight. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she smiled at the man.

"Keep cooking with Yixing, okay?"

"Ne, oppa."

Maybe it was time she dealt with the problems head-on. She couldn't really keep anything away and expect everything to work out. All she should do now was to focus on her dreams.

"Let's keep a distance from your parents for a while." He looked back at her every so often. "Maybe once you're good at it, they may change their minds."

The day went on like usual; although she slightly jumped at things after what happened, she managed to shrug off the memories and stand taller every time she did. Quick motions did shock her frequently; reminiscent of her parents' actions.

6:30 pm.

The door sounded the alert that someone entered.

"Oppa?"

"Hey."

"You're early." She didn't want to sound excited, not understanding why she would be happy at his presence. Then again, she was alone all the time and he always came late. "Really early."

"I wanted to check on you."

Was it weird that she wanted to hear that?

"Let's go check out some backpack tomorrow. They may be going to shower us with gifts over there." Minseok just talked to her nonchalantly as he took off his jacket, went up to his room, and came back after cleaning himself up, sitting in the kitchen with her as nothing happened.

"Backpack?"

"Yah, you think I'm just going to leave you here after what happened? I'm taking you to Japan with me. Sorry, can you pour me some tea?" Her heart skipped a beat hearing him saying that without hesitation and Jayoung couldn't stop smiling as she got him a glass of freshly brewed tea. "Plus I didn't want you to stay mad at me for not letting you go."

Jayoung managed to swallow back a cough.

"You couldn't tell me about your parents, so you got mad. I don't like seeing you mad at me. It's weird."

_To be honest, I was mad at..._

She didn't exactly run off from him because of those reasons, but she couldn't really tell him why she didn't like the woman clinging on to him.

Quickly, Jayoung turned away. Fingers trembling. Eyes wide glaring at the sink. Feet rigid barely able to walk to the fridge. Teeth nibbled at her lips. Did she really just think of that? Her thought? Wait, she didn't say that out loud, no?

"So, when do you want to leave?"

_So what? I can be suspicious of him._

The girl shook her head. No, now wasn't the time. She needed to tell him something. Hopefully, it would make sure Minseok wouldn't blame himself anymore. Maybe it was time they move past the sad memories and learn to treasure the future to come.

"Oppa, there's still something I need to tell you."

Out of the blue, this time when their eyes met, Jayoung felt a small shock running down her spine. She had trouble talking to him. Why? After months of bonding. His blond hair with dark roots covered his forehead as the man stared at her with half-closed lids, enjoying the taste of tea. Autumn leaves adorned his huge sweater, making him look impossibly younger.

_He's adorable and cuddly._

"What is it?"

"Wait, let me go get my phone." While preparing food, she normally left her phone further from view, avoiding distractions. Coming back out of the study with her phone in her hand, she found the video she was looking for and handed it to Minseok.

Another weird tremor ran down her back when his fingers brushed hers. That never happened before.

Jayoung clutched her hands and held them close to her erratic beating heart. She didn't remember having such a reaction towards small gestures like that.

"I can leave the room if you want."

"It's fine. I insist that you stay." The man held out his hand, which startled her quite a bit, so she just went to sit next to him, ignoring his actions. Minseok slowly drew back and played the video.

**_Hello, Minseok-shi. If you're watching this, that means I'm no longer in hell. Ah~ the sweet release of death. I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound so dark, but if you knew half the things I went through, you'd understand._ **

**_You can say I'm being selfish and leave Jayoung all to you, but let's face it. You'll be a better teacher and role model to her than I. I don't think I could stay sane enough to teach her everything._ **

**_All I want to say is thank you for everything. And thank you for what you're doing right now. Hopefully, she's happier with you and Jongdae around. Protect her your way. And I'm sorry for everything as well. By now, Jayoung has explained the context for you to understand why I'm this way._ **

**_Urgh.. can't believe I'm filming myself for you, Minseok-shi. See? It's a miracle already. All for a photo freak... hahaha~~_ **

**_Anyway, this message will self-destruct in five, four, nah~~ Kidding! This message will now fly away with me. Bye!_**

The small frail woman with the same fierce voice despite the white hospital gown she was still the same woman she once remembered. The same Soyoung. The goofy Soyoung. Now, the younger sister understood why Jongdae and her were the perfect match. The perfect dynamic partner to Jongdae. She heard a few things from the mysterious boyfriend, but most evident was her personality shift when Jayoung was still halfway through high school. Her sister was a lot livelier – smiling, laughing, and making more jokes. Genuine emotions.

"She's still sound like Jongdae."

The girl nodded. "This is filmed a month before she passed. Rion-shi wanted you to see this, but... yeah..." Jayoung didn't want to finish the sentence. Moreover, something about the woman that made her stomach coil in a way she couldn't grasp. She wasn't mad at Rion about her sister anymore, but she still found her fearful for some reason.

Of course, Rion was his ex-girlfriend. Jayoung then realized that she didn't know much about Minseok at all. Perhaps he was still uncomfortable to share? Blaming himself? He hadn't opened up about himself yet. She wondered if Jongdae had something about this. Most stories she heard from others and she wasn't sure which source to trust. Should she start questioning him now?

Then again, his friends around him always thanked her for being with him and saying things like the old Minseok was back.

_Because of me..._

"Hey, why did she hate taking pictures so much?"

"She never really liked being out there – a celebrity, but being my parents' child, she had to be in the spotlight. And I guess she hated everything about cameras and everything they do." Although he didn't say it, she could see that the man was more relaxed and relieved. "Excuse me, but _a photo freak?_ "

"Ahh~~ well, I like um... taking pictures... one of my hobbies." Minseok let out a chuckle as he scratched at his eyebrows and fidgeted in his chair.

"Really?"

_Finally! Thank you, sister!_

_Something to talk about._

Surprisingly, all she had to ask was, "Why photography?" and the rest was two hours of the two of them talking about the subject as Jayoung casually cooked for him while the man spilled the beans about his hobby. It was fun to see him excited instead of herself. From time to time, she had to stop him and make him drink something before continuing.

She thought Minseok was harder to crack than that, but she thought wrong. He sounded almost exactly like her when she was talking about cooking with Suho, unable to stop. For once, he was the one doing the talking. 

Maybe both of them weren't far too different after all.

🌹

The fancy array of backpacks and luggage seemed dull to her. They all looked the same to her. What was worth her time was Minseok asking her if she liked any one of them. She rarely heard the question being thrown around her – every decision used to be made without her knowledge, but not this time.

Minseok made all of this even more exciting. Now, just knowing that he would do anything for her now was enough to put her to sleep well at night. Safety in the comfort of his company.

This marriage still baffled her. Technically this should be counted as an engagement since she wasn't eighteen years old yet. They got the papers and ceremony early just to get things done. How convenient that parents got to make the marriage decisions for girls below eighteen.

"Ah, this one?" excitement in his voice she rarely heard, but these past weeks were different. This man was slowly warming up to her after months, a fact that she could hardly grasp every day. What took him so long? Was it her sister?

Minseok had a navy blue shirt with a white tee underneath this time. The casual look really suited him, but it seemed like his job didn't really offer him much of a fashion choice except suits. The content of his closet suddenly became interesting.

9:20 am.

"I guess we're a bit early, huh?" He stood awkwardly, looking around at the ground and at the backpack they'd just gotten. Jayoung already had one back at home, but he insisted on her getting a new one.

Then the idea of traveling hit all of her senses. "We're going to Japan." Trying to catch his eyes was always a feat, but at least nowadays he didn't look away as much. She knew he stole glances and was grateful that he was more upfront now.

"Yeah, we'll be in Osaka on the first day. Then we go to Kyoto. There, our host will provide all the fun stuff you might like."

It finally dawned on her that they were going to travel together. That would mean they would get to spend time with each other. As anxious as she was, Jayoung was just as excited and looking forward to it.

Then the sweet scent of flowers and new air she remembered traveling with her sister. The feeling of a new environment on her skin – anywhere but with her parents. A hard swallow when the nostalgia caught her by surprise.

"Oppa, can we go somewhere?"

The place felt a little different. With a new pair of eyes, Jayoung could see beyond the mourning atmosphere. She had once found this place to be weirdly peaceful, never understanding the implications.

A white rose in her hand as she walked slowly to her sister. Whispers of hopes and dreams, loss and sadness, she overheard while Minseok and Jayoung went deeper.

As she stared into her sister's eyes through the glass, she opened the small locker and placed her flower by her sister's picture. Jayoung didn't know if her parents didn't want to even buy her a coffin or genuinely thought this was a better place for her. No matter. The girl shook the idea off. She liked this place regardless of how this came to be. This felt simple like other common people.

The many lockers around them contained so many memories that it was hard not to consider the pain of other people's loss.

"Oppa, from now on..." she made sure to meet his eyes. "Let's not ... about my sister. Let's just let it go. I'm sure she doesn't want us to fight or feel guilty about any of this, so..." 

Soyoung had known about her cancer long before the test results came. She never told anyone. Rion tried her best not to fall apart when she was telling this to Jayoung. The older sister was just waiting for it to come the whole time. The marriage was never the problem. Soyoung made her choice long ago.

A long sigh of relief from Minseok. "Really?"

"Really."

The man didn't say much but smile and look through the glass locker of her sister. Her eyes never darted anywhere. The constant frowning and smiling got her questioning how hard it was for him to keep his tears at bay. His eyes slowly growing red when he turned away and cleared his throat.

"Ahh..." was it strange to enjoy hearing his chuckle that much? Minseok looked seemingly at his faint reflection now on the glass locket. "Of course... " his hand ran through his blonde-black hair. "I haven't got a haircut for so long..."

"Oppa?"

"Maybe it's time to dye it back to black."

She watched silently as he took his time.

"You're right. Like Soyoung said, we shouldn't put this on ourselves. Time to move on." A sense of contentment and fulfillment washed over her when he said that out loud. The way he placed the small bouquet in her sister's locket was slow and gentle. "To be honest," he touched his hair once more, changing the subject a lot smoother. "I never really liked this color."

A quiet gasp she made. It was true that blond suited his looks, but it never really suited his personality; she had always questioned why a reserved business consultant would dye his hair such a fierce color. The perfect time to ask, "Why dye it blond then?"

"My doctor said it would lift my ... mood. Something about hair psychology and how your hairstyle can impact your personality. Very strange stuff."

Jayoung didn't know what to say to that. So, he had gone to a doctor. A therapist, hopefully. At least, it was good to know that he looked for medical help. He must have been through a rough time after her sister's leave.

"Plus I look a bit too ... much for a serious talk with an important person, no? Most clients were taken aback by my hair. Luckily, it never really poses a huge problem."

"And dye it black? Um, you mean the blond thing didn't work then?"

"Oh, no... It worked a little, I guess." A nonchalant nod. Minseok then turned to her with a smile. "But I don't need it to cheer me up anymore. I got you."

For a few seconds there, the world stood still. She could feel her ears heating up.

Now, Jayoung found herself sitting in the huge salon chair next to Minseok as his stylist squealed at everything the both of them did.

"Oh, my god. You would look so hot! Am I right, Jayoung-ee?" the bright hairstylist convinced that her that it was fine to sit there even though this was the men's section of the salon. The enormous salon was indeed high end, offering both men's and women's cuts.

"Eh... Junho-yah..." Minseok looked noticeably just as flustered as her.

"Sorry, not sorry. I'm only speaking the truth." The flamboyant sea breeze color of the stylist's hair really got her head spinning. It really did fit his bold personality. Hair truly tells a lot about a person if not anything.

"I think black would look better on you, oppa." At this point, Minseok just stared at her through the huge mirror and bit his lips at her comment.

After all, he had always done so much to boost her confidence and push her to her fullest. It was about time she did the same. To him, this could be extremely significant. For a person as quiet and proper like him to change hairstyles must take a lot of willpower.

"oooh~~" Junho was quick to swoon at what was happening and leaned close to her to poke her shoulders playfully. "You two are so adorable. Since you have the same artistic taste as me, therefore, I, Junho The Great will personally give you a free shampoo and head massage."

"What? But that –" everything must cost a fortune here due to the great service and talented workers around. And how did a compliment get her a free shampoo and head massage?

"Honey, you don't reject a free shampoo and head massage. You welcome it with open arms."

Minseok's friends always wanted to give her free things, it was strange and it made her even more curious and determined. If everyone saw these small gestures of hers as valuable to Minseok, then perhaps she should start doing this more often. Then again, this man had magic hands - she felt like all of her problems were all gone, glad that she didn't turn down the free service.

"I see why you're late." A pleasant greeting from Chef as he hugged Jayoung like normal before going over to Minseok and fluffed his now short jet black hair. "Haven't seen you in this cut for a long time."

So, he used to look like this before, she thought. Just like she and Junho anticipated, the hair suited him handsomely. It seemed like everything was starting to fall into place. The way he looked now she was going to need some time to adjust.

When Chef went outside to pick up a call, everyone in the kitchen gathered around the two of them with Kyungsoo being pushed to the front.

"Hey, um... Minseok-ah?" Sous Chef started a little shakily.

Jayoung smiled and turned to Minseok, hoping he would accept Sous Chef's call.

"Yeah?"

Everyone heaved sighs of relief when Minseok did let them call him that. "We know you're friends with Chef and all these years, we kind of want to, you know, take you out for a drink." The cooks then nodded their heads in unison. "Especially for saving us last week and in the past, too."

At long last, these old men were getting together. Minseok did have that aura he exuded, making everyone want to be friends with him. After all, he was a consultant.

"We always wanted to hang out with you – what?" Tao was elbowed by Kris for speaking out too loud. The youngest chef had always been this straightforward.

"Maybe, we could have a get together with you and Jayoung?"

"Wait, she's not 20 yet." This time it was Kyungsoo who smacked Tao.

"You're still 19?" Somehow, she felt blessed to know that Kai was a lot friendlier with her. Seeing the man opening up to her made her feel extra special. Maybe, she could bribe him into teaching her all of his techniques.

"I'll be officially 18 in June." Then the so-called honeymoon in July. It kind of made her shiver at the reminder. "So, yeah, 19 in Korean years."

"June? Wait! How about a birthday party for you instead? Of course! Brilliant!" Pats on the back for Chanyeol with the idea. "We can't just exclude Jayoung."

_Birthday party?_

"That's right. Because of you. Chef is a little more," Kris then tiptoed and looked around to make sure the old chef wasn't around for this. "tolerable."

"He's still strict, but he warms up to you and scolds a bit less than before," Chanyeol added in a small whisper.

"I mean I thought it'd be his kids who would do that, but I guess he loves you more since you're his student and actually loves cooking." Sous Chef then ruffled her hair playfully.

Minseok just silently nodding along with all of them and laughed with them while Jayoung just stayed quiet, contemplating what was going to happen.

"It's on the 30th, right?" Minseok's voice was in a slightly high tone. He must be just as excited as the others.

"Uh, I – yeah... what do I do? Should I help?"

"Oh, come on, you're the birthday girl. No need to do anything. It's not like you never had a birthday party before."

Well, her sister, Doyoung, and Jimin used to give her gifts, but there was never time for a big party.

Everything fell silent. Noises seemed to be sucked out of the room until Minseok swung his arm over her shoulders for comfort.

"WHAT?" a distant sharp voice from the boss got everyone standing straight. "My Jayoung never had a birthday party before?"

"He didn't hear what we said before, no?"

"No." Kyungsoo quickly replied in a low voice before Chef got closer to the other dumfounded cooks. "I'm sure that's all he got."

"Gentlemen! And only gentlemen," Chef appeared by her side, and he too put his arm over her shoulders; the girl being sandwiched in between him and Minseok. "A mission! Plan the best first birthday party and all the years you've been a chef, cook the best damn food! And Chanyeol? It's time to let your baking skills shine."

"YE, CHEF!"

The rest of this Saturday she spent being showered with promises of great gifts and more scolding from Chef as she went through her cooking lesson.

This time, Minseok didn't leave the restaurant for work and chatted with other cooks and occasionally tried to lighten up Chef's mood – a gesture she had only seen Chef do.

As she watched him laughing with her Sunbae, Jayoung questioned herself if this was the same man she first met two years ago. 

🌹

He was standing in front of the bathroom, wondering what took the girl so long. Jayoung wasn't the person who cared too much about her looks. Most of the time, she either let her down or tied it up in a ponytail. The one time her hair was fancy at all was at the wedding. Was it even a wedding? The documents weren't signed yet. The girl wasn't her legal age. The things rich people could get away with. One of the reasons why he hated being the privileged ones.

"Ah..."

"Jayoung-ah?"

"Oh, ne?"

"You need help in there?" He now knew better than to take the long route. Jayoung was mostly straightforward, and he thought he should try and be the same.

"Um, there's a ... in um-"

"Can I come in?"

"Yes, please." Although her voice was muffled, he could still hear the uneasiness in her voice.

The door was unlocked and Jayoung was standing there, her hair bunched up in a towel, her ridiculously long tee stood just above her knees, her eyes trained at a small dark figure at the edge of the bathroom.

It was a centipede. As small as a pinky. The sight of it would have normally made him jump if he was alone, but with Jayoung around, he tried to remain calm and looked closer.

"It's dead." The many legs curled into its stomach as the creature lay on its back. Minseok muttered to himself and immediately turned to Jayoung, giving her a once over. "Are you hurt? What happened?"

The girl simply shook her head. If she frowned any harder, her eyes might actually pop out of her sockets. "I saw it coming out of the drain and I dumped the toiler cleaner over it."

The moment she mentioned the product, the sharp smell of acid and soap hit his nose almost knocking him over. "Okay, you should leave. That stuff is too strong and dangerous. It's not good to inhale." With a plastic glove, Minseok got rid of the dead insect and cleaned the bathroom.

"This never happens before... These things only come if the place isn't properly clean." Minseok said it loud enough for the girl to hear from her room once he got ready. Today, they had to do the grocery shopping before going to Yixing's. Hopefully, he would be able to get Jayoung to go clothes shopping and just shopping in general with him, getting ready for Japan.

"Well, maybe, it's my fault." The girl lowered her head, eyes found her feet amusing. "Blood must have attracted it."

"Did you cut–" he almost screamed that out when she quickly shook her head.

"No! No! I'm just –I'm on my ... umm..."

"AH~ Thank god!" going over to the fridge a cold bottle of water, Minseok relaxed his tense shoulders. So many thoughts went through his head before she could explain herself. This girl really stirred so much reaction from him, it was a bit startling for him. "Just use the toilet and flush it. That way nothing could trail the blood back."

"I'm sorry I forgot."

"It's fine. I'm just glad you're okay." When she was quiet for too long, he took a deep breath and got closer to her. "Hey, I mean it. Just be careful next time, alright?"

"Because of me... I could have..."

"Come on, it's not your fault." Minseok got closer to her and knelt on one knee in front of her, trying to look into her eyes. "Don't you blame ... yourself."

It was the period. The longer he stared into her eyes, the clearer the picture was. Her parents still got a good grip on her mind. After all, she'd been in that house all her life, growing up knowing nothing but hate about being a woman. Jayoung was confident in cooking, but this... she'd got a long way to go.

_I can do it._

"Hey... come here." His arms were wide enough for her to walk in. His head craned up to meet her guilty eyes.

Seeing her hesitation made him realized the few times they actually hugged. Once at the wedding. Once when he got her to Yixing. Once when he got her away from her parents. Once when she woke up. Then he looked everything over again when he knew that none of those were proper hugs except the last one. The wedding seemed forced. At Yixing's only she hugged him out of happiness – he didn't return it. And the third one spoke for itself. The last one... Technically, they hugged once.

A small step she took it seemed, but to the both of them, it was a giant leap.

He pressed his head gently on her stomach, his arms wrapped around her waist, his hands softly patting her back. Minseok could feel her trying to lean down and return the gesture, but from this angle, she could only rest her hands on his shoulders.

"It's okay. There's nothing embarrassing about periods especially being a woman. I promise."

Her fingers tenderly grazing the nape of his neck sent him chills down his spine, making him only bolder. It wasn't just making sure she would cook anymore. This was the one thing he felt was off about her. The headstrong persona. A preferred male gender role. Maybe, if he could convince that women could be just like men without sacrificing their sexuality, she would be better.

He drew back slightly and held her hands tightly in his. Usually, his neck would have been strained and gave up by now, but this time, he didn't mind it at all. He knew that she would just keep staring down at times like this, and after all, she did to push him this far and brought him back to earth once more, it was time he returned the favor.

"I've never seen a girl this strong like you, especially at this age. You've held out hope for so long in that house, and I admire you for that. Don't let anything pull you down. Not after you've come this far."

Her lips curved slightly to his words, her eyes crinkled with tears.

"I've learned a lot being with you these past months. The same me years ago wouldn't have been able to say this to you – or anyone. I never really had to courage to speak up, but you do. You always answer my questions no matter how difficult it was."

Lips parted. He wanted to elaborate more but this needed no explanation. Jayoung should be smart enough to notice the change he went through.

"Because of you, I feel... secure. My friends had always tried so hard to reassure and comfort me, but you... don't even try. I know I still have a long way to go to be like you, but after living my life in doubt for so long, I... I'm finally sure of one thing. You."

When he felt her hands returning the same grip, it was as if he got brainwashed and refreshed his mind with all kinds of pleasant thoughts. It didn't really surprise him anymore – the fact that she had this much power over him.

"Wah~~ thank you..." he could tell there was so much more she wanted to say, but the girl seemed understandably speechless.

"Don't mention it."

Once she excused herself to cook breakfast, he found himself taking a seat in the kitchen, wondering why he needed to be close to her out of the blue.

The longer he watched her cook, or as much as he didn't want to admit it, the longer he just looked at her, the messier his thoughts, the crazier his heart beat.

"I like ..." his lips parted, air pushed back in his throat, eyes dazed seeing her smile at him like that.

That big speech was meant to help the girl push forward and leave all doubts behind, but it also ended up confirming his feelings. The girl was special and just like Yixing said, he shouldn't let her go.

Her presence. Her personality. Her influence. Her food. Her warmth.

_That's it. No more hiding. Just ..._

"Jayoung-ah... I really..." Jayoung stopped everything and looked back at him, waiting for him to finish.

_I can do it._

_I can say it._

"Well, I really like..."

"Ne, oppa?"

"The food! Of course! Hahaha!" A loud hysterical laugh might have deafened himself as his eyes were tearing up. "You're so good at cooking! Where did you learn to do that?"

Eyes wide staring back at him. A worried giggle spilled from her lips as she laughed along with him – not knowing what was going on. "Um, Chef?"

"Right!" He really didn't remember a time he laughed this loud. Immediately, he downed the whole glass of water in seconds, silencing himself.

It was then that it finally occurred to him now that becoming bold overnight after living his life being shy was not as easy as he thought.

10:30 am.

The two of them were shopping for new clothes as he suggested; it wasn't just for Japan. Minseok hadn't gone out for anything new for years now, and Jayoung had to always save up her own money and sneak around buying her own clothes. Apparently, he got a few shirts for himself, but still, let the girl choose what to buy for him. Fresh eyes like hers could do better picking out the right outfit for him, plus... if they were going to be together, they should at least compromise and help others out. It was hard enough because of their age gap. It could be worse if their clothing choices were too far apart.

Jayoung walked leisurely in front of him checking out the clothes as they passed each shop. Her hands played her hair and neck every time something caught her eyes.

His fingers stretched and his fist clenched.

_Should I hold her hand?_

The glass wall reflected his jet black hair, reminding him what could he do around her. He had done things he normally wouldn't just for her.

_I can do this._

"Oppa!" her hand pulled him by the wrist into the shop disrupting his thoughts and normal heartbeat. "That one."

The sight before him almost gave a heart attack in the nicest way but also in the worst way.

"Ah~~ This is actually a discount couple set." A female employee didn't waste her time elaborating on the navy denim jackets in front of them. "You two would look perfect in them."

"Oh, I thought it was just a jacket..." Finally noticing, Jayoung let out a nervous laugh, her cheeks reddened and looked away, suddenly finding other shirts more interesting.

"Can I try it on?" If she wanted that jacket, he would get it – whatever the means.

Leaving the shop with a new pair of denim jackets, they walked side by side wordlessly. Minseok had the bags on his left hand as he left his right one free.

His hand inched close to hers as he gulped anxiously, anticipating her touch.

"Omo! Minseok-hyung!"

Minseok hopped away from Jayoung at Sehun's sudden voice, surprised at how far he had jumped. Luckily Jayoung didn't know that he was trying to get close or else she would have been so offended at him backing away.

"Ahaha!" another boisterous laugh left his lips as he approached the younger man. Hands clapping on Sehun's back, Minseok greeted him enthusiastically as if nothing had happened. "Omo! Sehun-ah! What brings you here?"

"Wow, Umin-ah?" The familiar sharp voice. "oh... you two on a date?"

Jongdae's words got them both breathless and speechless.

"I'm buying some new clothes for both of us." It took a while but Minseok did hear his own laugh; the man now wanted to actually run into a corner and scream at how unconvincing and cringing everything was. "We're going to Japan, you know..."

"Really!?" Jongdae turned to the girl who returned a simple shy smile. "Yay!"

"I'm sorry... but you are..." Sehun seemed to have already connected the dots, but of course... he wasn't prepared to hear that –

"His wife. Be nice, okay?"

"Wow. Okay, hello! I'm Oh Sehun." Thank goodness the kid didn't really make a big deal out of this. Sehun just bowed slightly at Jayoung with a friendly beam in which the girl returned the greeting.

"Ne, hello. I'm Cha Jayoung."

"Hey, man..." Jongdae then got Minseok away for a second after excusing themselves. "Is everything okay?" The man saw them with his remote security cameras and said nothing showing only concern and support. Minseok asked himself every day as to what he did in his past life to get Jongdae as a friend.

Quietly nodding to his best friend, Minseok found Jongdae's relief expression adorable. 

"Don't forget, okay? Anything you need, I'll be there." That knowing smile. "Have you noticed Suho about this?"

"Yep." Jayoung coming over with him made Suho's whole day that his wife called to ask what was happening with the older brother's squeaky attitude. 

"You're bringing her as your wife, right?" His best friend's finger-pointing at where his ring should be. "Well then, look like it."

Jongdae's words hit him like a tsunami, reminding him that they were married. They then casually strolled back to Sehun and Jayoung while Minseok was going insane. 

_Oh, it's going to be a_ _**smooth**_ _chat with Jayoung._

Before anyone could question them, Minseok quickly followed up with, "What about you guys? On a date?"

This was followed by a very divisive debate between Jongdae and Sehun as his best friend claimed that they were just shopping just like him while his fellow junior argued that it was clearly a date.

2:30 pm.

"My god... you're not even listening to me anymore." Yixing dramatically banged his palm against the table, bringing Minseok back to the restaurant. "Yah, Umin-ah, you're overworking yourself, uh? Staying by Suho's side while freelancing for superstars? What kind of contract did you sign?"

"Man, don't put it like that..." the freelancing was technically there to help the company's strategic plans, and although everything was confidential, it was a nice feature they had.

"Anyway, just remember to take care of yourself." Sighed the old chef, "Though I don't I have to worry about that anymore."

The weird smile Yixing had put him off obviously. "What do you mean?"

Eyes landed on Jayoung and the old chef let out a chuckle. "Nothing. Hey, have you thought of what to get Yongyong for her birthday?"

9:40 pm.

The man sat there for once in the study with Jayoung lying there on the windowsill revising her lessons. He rarely got to be with her like this and it felt different. Watching cook made him feel warm. Watching her lying on the window like that made him at peace.

Trying hard not to make any noise, Minseok dug through his brain for something to give the girl for her birthday. Yixing already got something special for her, not telling him anything about it.

"Oppa, I got a long leave from the dean." Jayoung finally dropped her textbook and sat up, arms hugging the pillow and leaning on the wall. She also turned to his direction – something he didn't think she could do since she had always lain on that windowsill opposite his desk.

"Um, that's good. Oh, I'll teach you about Japanese etiquette tomorrow. You've worked hard today." Yixing finally taught her a new recipe and it had been eating away at her for the whole day, trying to get it right.

"So... good night." Somehow, it felt weird leaving her here alone while he went up to sleep.

_What?_

Quickly, Minseok shook his head, scoffing at himself for thinking of such things.

"Oppa?"

"Oh?"

Suddenly, he felt the burning in his cheeks when she stopped him. The man just couldn't stop thinking about the possibilities. It was unforgivable to be that way, especially himself – the man with such a timid personality. Why was he having such thoughts?

"We're going to travel, right? I think we should take pictures while we're there." Her raspy voice really added flavor to the simple statement. "So.. yeah, I think you bring that camera with you."

He was now standing in front of his bed that was filled with camera equipment. Minseok just silently cleaned his favorite Canon as he thought back to when he first took up the hobby.

It simply brought joy to his life. The positions he had to be in to get the perfect shot. The many times he had to retake the one-shot. The mornings he spent sipping on coffee while going through piles and piles of practically identical pictures. He didn't really understand why taking a pretty picture gave him so much thrill, but it didn't matter to him what it was.

Thinking back made him realized that he hadn't taken a picture for a long time. Even during his time with Rion, Minseok didn't take as many pictures as he used to and then eventually stopped when Soyoung...

That night he fell asleep at the sight of his camera on the nightstand and the thought of Jayoung right by his side.

🌹

🌹

The cold metal felt foreign to her. She couldn't do anything without thinking about it. The gold on her finger shone brightly under the light. It was a two-hour flight from Seoul to Osaka; Minseok's voice seemed to blend into the surroundings as she stared at her fingers.

She didn't think she would feel this uneasy when Minseok first slipped this ring onto her fingers, but there was a difference this time around.

To her right, Minseok was already dozing away, too tired after everything with the preparation and still having to work during all of that. As she spent the rest of the flight fully awake and gawking at Minseok's drooling sleeping habit, the excitement grew despite the anxiousness she was feeling. What were they going to do together in a whole week? She tried asking him, but the man insisted that she waited to see the surprise herself; the host had made sure everyone got the best treatment.

Watching him angrily wiped away the drools with a blush was hysterical. "Come on. Let's go." Said the embarrassed man.

There wasn't really much to pack in the luggage, but she was told that she would be going back with a lot more. They then took a ride with Suho who didn't bring his family since his son was sick. For now, they could avoid the questions. Suho thought it wouldn't be wise to take a bus with everyone in this type of situation. No one in the company besides Jongdae and Sehun knew Minseok was married.

_As long as he's with me, I can do it._

The next four hours she waited in Suho's suite room anticipating the Minseok's return was nerve-wracking.

2:30 pm.

"What about you, hyung?"

"I'm the president. I'm always busy." Suho stated the words nonchalantly as his older secretary put all pieces of luggage in the trunk of the car. "You two enjoy yourselves, oh? Don't stay too long though."

If he were so busy though, why did the older brother take less than five minutes to get rid of his suit and dress up in a loose Hawaiian shirt with coconut tree all over?

As the two of them watched Suho waved cutely from inside his car, she couldn't help but blush at the fact that they were wearing the denim couple jackets. Jayoung was surprised that Minseok wasn't too bothered by it. At least their converse was in different colors; his navy blue one looked worn out like he hadn't touched it for a long while; her black converse she bought months ago with her pocket money was still new.

The meeting was over, but for Suho, it seemed like there were a lot more to do, so they had to part ways as Jayoung and Minseok would leave for Kyoto immediately while Suho stayed in Osaka for a while longer.

A deep breath. A huge smile on her face. The air felt nice on her skin. The blue ocean separated the two countries not so far away from one another, and still, she could feel the difference.

The street was packed. The girl thought Seoul was filled with people; she thought wrong. The people here dressed slightly differently. Maybe because it was the city, but old couples were walking around in traditional Yukata or Kimino, she hadn't learned the distinction yet.

As they waited patiently for the traffic lights to turn red, she peeked at Minseok's sneakers and his big feet. Men did have bigger ones.

"Omo." His hand caught her by surprise when he pulled her to his side.

_Ow._

Her face hit the rough denim of his jacket while she tried to see what was going on. Apparently, the green light had popped up and everyone was pushing forward. The girl just quietly let the man drag her to the other side, watching at how he was looking around to make they didn't bump into anyone.

She didn't understand why he needed to do that all the way to the train station, but she decided not to say anything. This wasn't too bad, so no complaining.

Once they boarded the local to Kyoto, the two sat next to each other, back facing the glass window. The local train was supposed to take at least 45 minutes, so this was going to take a while.

Her eyes wide looking around the train and turning around to watch everything behind her blur past.

"Ha..." Minseok softly sighed and cleared his throat, shaking his head and stretching himself.

That was almost six hours of sitting in an air-conditioned room with a tight suit on he had just gone through. The man looked understandably exhausted.

"Close your eyes," whispered the girl. "You need a nap."

A brow raised at her suggestion.

"I'll wake you when it's our stop." She had taken a few lessons about traveling in Japan, learning the language and the words at the airport, trains, and so on.

Fortunately, he listened to her, crossed his arms, and closed his eyes, his head resting on the hard metal behind him.

_Should be listening to some pretty songs..._

Earphones plugged and in her ears. The girl then relaxed her shoulders the moment the music started playing when she realized...

"Oh..." she tilted her head at Minseok who was startled at her attempt to push the earphone to his ear.

"It's my favorite. Helps me sleep every time." This time she held it out for him. "Come on, it works like a charm."

After clearing his throat again, he slowly accepted it, wearing the earphone cautiously.

Jayoung was, of course, ecstatic, quickly restarted the song.  
  


 _Why do birds suddenly appear  
_ _Every time you are near?  
_ _Just like me, they long to be  
_ _Close to you_

  
Once again, she closed her eyes to the beautiful melody but making sure that she didn't fall asleep. This song was a lullaby to her sleepless nights and held a special place in her. Back in middle school, Jimin was playing this on repeat on his iPhone and she just happened to cry out for something that would calm her down after getting a heavy scolding from her parents. It always worked like magic.  
  


 _Why do stars fall down from the sky?  
_ _Every time you walk by?  
_ _Just like me, they long to be  
_ _Close to you_

  
She kept the song on repeat for a few times when she turned to Minseok who was actually napping, his head already wobbling, his lips slightly agape. Jayoung couldn't help but giggle at the sight. She had always thought the man had a hard time falling asleep. This seemed to amaze her. It was probably the meeting that really drained his energy.

 _  
On the day that you were born the angels got together  
_ _And decided to create a dream come true  
_ _So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue_

  
She sort of expected his head to fall on her shoulders. Always working so hard. A shy smile at his dark hair tickling her neck.  
  


 _That is why all the girls in town  
_ _Follow you all around  
_ _Just like me, they long to be  
_ _Close to you_

🌸

🌸

He heard a click of a camera going off waking him from his short nap.

"We're here," nudged Jayoung. "Let's go."

That rest really did restart his engine, his mind clearer, less tired. As he stretched and massaged his neck, he wondered why his left side was so stiff like he'd been craning his neck that way.

Yawning one last time, he turned to look at the station's clock.

3:30 pm.

"Do we go to the lodge now?" the girl chirped from his left, but her head was marveling at the metro system in Japan. Minseok let out a chuckle. They were kind of similar to the ones they had in Korea. If she was amazed by just the trains alone, she was definitely going to lose it if she saw anything else.

His hand was placed on his right jacket's pocket.

_"There you go~~" Suho pushed another pair of train tickets into his jacket. Winking in the process, the older brother hugged him while he slapped Minseok's poor back loudly, whispering "Fighting~~"_

"We have another train to catch." This was ridiculous, but at the same time, he secretly thanked the dummy that was his brother.

"Wah~~ Really?"

"Oh, it's not a transport line this time. It's a sightseeing line. Sagano Scenic Railway."

The words lighted up the girl's face immediately, her expression so contagious he couldn't help returning the same enthusiasm.

**嵯峨野ロマンチックな列車  
(Sagano Romantic Train)**

The sign seemed to almost shout the words into his face while he took a deep breath.

_It's a scenic train. For sightseeing._

The girl didn't know anything about it, so hopefully, it wouldn't be too awkward. It was quite a walk from the Kyoto Station, but Jayoung didn't mind, her eyes wandering everywhere as if the place breathed life into her. For him, it wasn't as impressive since he frequently had to fly here to get things done with his clients. Moreover, sightseeing wasn't really part of the trip, so he never really got to appreciate what Japan had to offer.

"Hello, welcome!" the kind old man lifted his cap when they climbed up the train, and Minseok returned the gesture with a deep bow. "You two look good together."

"Ah... thank you." His ears started to burn.

"What he said?" Jayoung tucked at his jacket when they took a seat at their designated spots.

"Oh, umm.. he told us to enjoy the ride." A nervous chuckle. When she had a look of recognition, he heaved a relief sigh, turning his attention to the window. "It's going to be nice. You'll love it. We'll get to see the river running below with the mountainous scenery and if we're lucky, we get to see something special."

"Wah~~ What is it? What's the special one?"

"You have to wait and see."

He caught words of the travelers around him talking about this was the perfect time to take this train, so he felt grateful to mother nature for being generous at a time like this.

The girl cutely pouted at him and he just patted her head. "Trust me. You'll see it soon."

After a few more minutes, a shout of announcing the department finally got the door slid closed. Everyone on the train squealed, marveled, doing all sorts of things at the anticipation of the scenic beauty to come.

Finally, the mountains emerged along with the soothing water running below as the train took its time letting everyone on board absorbing the nature and refreshing air all around them.

Jayoung stayed silent this whole, her lips parted gaping at the nature in front of her.

Then they passed the mountains and the trees on both of the train appeared, its branches almost protruding into the windows.

"Oppa, this is amazing... what..."

Minseok couldn't keep his chuckle quiet this time.

Once the trees disappeared, a different type showed up. Everyone on board let out a unanimous 'ooh' at the scene in front of them.

Two rows of cherry blossoms hugged the train so closely its pink petals fell into the train. There weren't many flowers since the full bloom had passed, but there were enough flowers to marvel at.

Korea also had the trees, but there he was always working, never really got out to see any of them. It must have been the same for Jayoung, plus they didn't really live in a neighborhood that planted these trees. Once in a while, they would come across a few of them, but they weren't even blossoming most of the time. He could try and make an excuse to take her to a similar train trail back in Korea, but he backed away, not sure how to explain the reason, but at the same time, he thought about taking her to Busan.

_Maybe..._

The host must have planned this trip very religiously, making sure it was time for the trees to blossom at the right time for their guests.

"Wahh~~" the girl smiled in awe of the many cherry blossoms she was seeing.

In seconds, once again, everything seemed to slow down for him. The warm orange sun was peeking above the clouds spreading its glowing rays on her. Chestnut brown hair flickered shades of gold once the sun hit them. Her clear chocolate eyes looked as if they were floating, her dark pupils glittered with a kind of light he couldn't describe. Her bare face slightly wrinkled every time a cherry blossom petal touched it.

Her sudden plain laugh at the ticklish flowers landing on her face was a blessing. He didn't know laughs could be this pretty. Where had he been this whole time? A cave?

When another flower landed on her hair she didn't know, this time his hand closed in, not sure if he actually wanted to pick up the flower or touch her hair or both. Even when she blinked, his heart almost jumped out of his chest. So simple yet so deadly. He held his breath as his fingers finally graced the silky strands of her hair. The man rarely got the excuse to properly play with her hair, usually just patting her head.

"Oppa, it's so pretty!" her sudden change of attention nearly cut off his blood supply as his hand retreated immediately to clasping his lips. Minseok casually hummed at her reply while trying not to make eye contact. "Omo! Your ears are red!"

A pleasant giggle seemingly shocked his nearly dead soul back to life. The girl was pointing at his burning ears accusingly.

"It's so adorable! Your ears are like these flowers."

_A--Adorable?_

"Here." The girl then picked up a lone cherry blossom on the rail and leaned into him, putting the flower on his left jacket's pocket right where his actual heart was. "That's better." Not only that, Jayoung then did a v or heart sign with her thumb and pointer finger at him. "Much better."

He simply and casually replied with a normal smile, but once her attention was on the flowers again, his shoulders slumped, his body failed to support him leaning entirely back in his seat, his hand just below where the flower was, his heart nearly stuttered and flatlined, his mind comatose.

_Adorable... I'm not adorable. That's so girly._

Unknowingly, his facial expressions contradicted his every thought as he fought to bid his lips from smiling like an idiot.

All of a sudden, he had the urge to record his thoughts when he dreamily reached into his pocket for his phone.

**Yixing-ah, am I pretty like a flower?**

Usually, in his right mind, he wouldn't text anything stupid to the old chef, but well, this did happen once in a while, and when Minseok heard a ring of notification from his Kakao Talk, he giggled at the reply.

**You're an idiot.**

_An idiot in love, you mean._

A loud laugh escaped his lips. He knew that Yixing hated it when anyone interrupted his work even him, the bestest of friends. Then he found Jayoung staring at him weirdly.

"Oppa?"

"Oh?"

"I think we should get off?"

Looking around, almost everyone left, the train mostly emptied by now. "Right, let's go."

Trying not to burst, Minseok suggested they walked the whole way back to the train station before taking a bus to the lodge at the outskirts of Kyoto.

"Right! Oppa!" The man watched Jayoung carefully brought her backpack to her front, fishing for something. Although he didn't want to say it out loud and try to be a gentleman, he was sure grateful that she insisted on helping to carry it. So far they had been switching back and forth, which saved him immense pain on his back. "Here!"

The camera. He completely forgot about the camera. He could have taken pictures of her on that train.

_Dummy._

"There are a few cherry blossoms there. Can you take a picture of me?"

He looked at where she pointed and smiled. Not bad for someone who wasn't as familiar with photography as him. There were a bunch of street signs in Japanese with a clear backdrop of a few traditional Japanese shops. She picked a very novel background for a picture.

The way she ran so excitedly to pose under one of the palm trees.

It was surreal as he placed the camera close to his face, looking through the lens to see this girl he came to adore smiled so happily for this picture. As if the wind knew he was taking a picture, a swift breeze swept the scene and her hair swayed to the flow.

The first click set his mind at peace as he drew back from his camera, staring at the result.

"Oppa? Something wrong?" She was quite far to have heard the click.

"Oh –um, yeah, just a second! Correcting the brightness, exposure, you know, photography stuff."

And he went to work. The feeling came back as if it'd never gone away in the first place. That exhilaration of taking pictures was still there; the feeling he'd once thought was gone. He still loved just as much as he did before.

"Are you done yet? My lips are tired." The girl reminded him how long he had spent taking pictures of the same pose. And of course, seeing her frown, he just kept on clicking the shutter button.

"Okay! Done!" He laughed as Jayoung immediately stopped moping and yelped in delight, running back to him. Minseok held the camera out for her, which gladly took in her own hands.

She stayed silent as she swiped through each photo he'd taken.

The girl had stayed in the same pose, but he managed to get about 30 photos out of it. The reaction she had every time a new angle of the same picture appeared was priceless. One shot of her in the middle of the frame. One of her on the left side. One of her on the right. One of her with the background blurred. One of her at the right corner, ¼ of the picture... So many angles it must have blown her mind away.

"Wah~~ How did you make one same picture into so many different ones?" It was then she couldn't swipe anymore landing on the first picture he'd taken of her. "I guess that does prove that you're a photographer... This is insane... how am I going to get pictures of different places in time if this is how long you take with just one location?"

She seemed to complain, but the way she smiled at the pictures he'd taken was enough to tell him that she loved it nonetheless.

"You know," he didn't mean for his voice to be so low all of a sudden as he leaned close to her, his fingers brushing hers as he swiped back to the first picture, his neck slightly touching her hair, his body close behind. "This is the first picture I've ever taken in years."

There was an acknowledgment in her expression as she looked up at him.

"It's kind of nice being called a photographer..." Minseok smiled down at her.

"Ohh~~ So... Photographer Kim. Uh? Wahh~~ Photographer Kim takes so many pretty pictures of me... More! More!" She just pushed the camera back into his hands before he could even do anything or say another word. "Photographer Kim, what are you waiting for? The model here is getting bored!"

"Aish~ such a demanding model!" he made a glaring face at her hysterical one and went back to work.

After a huge flood of pictures, they finally took a rest and sat down at one of the bus stops waiting for the ride to the lodge. As the girl was gazing in awe at his work, she suddenly exclaimed, almost giving him a heart attack. "Omo! You didn't even take one for yourself!"

"It's fine. For me, being behind the camera is a lot more fun."

"Eh, but still, you should at least have like a few of your own."

"How about a selfie?" knowing her, he could tell she wouldn't drop this unless he cooperated. Jayoung nodded her head straightaway, scooting closer to him for a picture. Twisting the display panel to the front, he then held the camera out as far as possible. "Okay... one, two –"

The ride to the lodge was long and tired from all the running around and posing for pictures, the girl fell asleep, resting her head comfortably on his shoulder. And while he studied the pictures of her and the ones of them both, he knew that he was in so deep he wouldn't be able to get out of this even if he tried.

🌸

They'd been walking for a while, looking for a tiny lodge near the foot of the mountain. Apparently, because this was not just a simple stay with the other co-workers and this was for their friends and family as well, the host decided to offer different hotels or inns to the employees.

Minseok had said that the Japanese were really impressed with their service and wanted to offer a thank you gift. There was a huge scandal with the CEO and so many problems with the company it was about to go bankrupt a few times, but Suho thought it would be a good idea to help them out. The younger brother first didn't understand why he would choose such a risky path, but then again, they already had a stable stand amongst their competitors.

_"Always help people out cause you never know when luck is going to surprise you."_

The old man's words barely made any sense, but he was right after all. It took two years, but the company found their ground, and now they were providing all of these services.

Jayoung smiled at Suho's story, reminding herself to put the old man's values into practice.

Finally, they saw a lone house a bit further from the village.

"いらっしゃいませ!" The older woman stepped out of the lodge with a warm smile and turned around to knock on the wooden wall revealing two younger women in their traditional yukata.

Minseok and Jayoung returned the deep bows.

The old woman continued in Japanese and Jayoung could actually tell there was a different intonation to her words. Different dialects, she supposed.

"She asked if we wanted to stay in our clothes or kimono. It's up to us." A small sigh escaped her lips, _of course, I want to,_ she thought. "If you want to wear it, they would help you with putting it on."

The girl nodded enthusiastically.

They then invited them into the lodge. Suho had promised that this place was perfect for _two_ travelers with a wink. Why would such an old do something so childish? Didn't he know that he was ruining everything youthful?

"And Jinbei is what you wear to sleep." Jinbei? "You'll know it when you see it."

As the old woman took their bag to their room, she showed them around the lodge and it was clear that Minseok was more excited than her, which was rare.

Because this place was a Ryokan, a traditional type of Japanese style inns, the wooden walls and floors, the sliding doors, the fancy tables and the chairs that had no legs.

"Hey, come, come," Minseok called out for her in the guest room. She didn't know she was wandering in the place. "Let's fill out the forms first."

They were foreigners, so they had to show the host the passports and fill out the forms with personal information. Watching Minseok writing in kana perfectly amused her. How many things did this man know?

These people were so nice as they placed the teaware and snacks on the table while they waited for Minseok to finish.

"Okay, we go take a bath first. Then dinner will be served."

There was a hot spring in the other room. A pool small enough for one person was surrounded by these bamboos and windows showing her the view of the mountain outside.

The warm water really soothed the pain in her back as they had been walking quite a lot for one day and there was still more to explore.

She was done putting on her pink and purple kimono and suddenly she felt so mysterious as if she was playing out in a Japanese fantasy novel in the past. As the girl twirled around in front of the mirror, the younger woman behind her let out a giggle before recovering and offered to style her hair according to the kimono.

Her hair was in a simple bun with strands falling, brushing her neck. The woman said something she didn't understand then held out a pink blossom hairpin.

"Beautiful." The woman whispered English words to her and the girl couldn't help but blush madly at the lady's word.

The feeling of these kimono shoes or geta was soft against her tired feet. Talking about feelings, the ring on her finger still made her shiver to its coldness. She wondered if Minseok's feelings were just as cold.

With the ladies behind her, the girl walked towards the living room meeting Minseok half-way in his own dark blue men's kimono. The man simply lowered his head and smiled at her letting her go first and sat at the table.

The meals prepared by the host of this lodge was amazing. So many variants of food she didn't think she could finish all of these in one dinner.

After the ladies left them, she just followed Minseok's chant of 'いただきます' before eating the meal.

It was strange that this meal was a lot quieter than normal. Maybe they were both tired from running around taking pictures everywhere. As much as it was fun and how happy she was with him, it was also scary. To be quite honest, the girl felt uneasy just standing there and letting him take so many pictures of her. Perhaps she wasn't pretty enough for the pictures so he had to retake again and again? Or maybe not. He wouldn't do that.

Jayoung just cleared her throat and sipped the refreshing cold tea to wash down her thoughts. She had never met an actual photographer anywhere. Maybe it was their work ethics?

"Um, Jayoung-ah, is there something wrong?" His silky voice really fitted this relaxing atmosphere right now. Once more she confused the timeline and thought she was in the past with this traditional makeup.

Shaking her head, she almost laughed at how big his eyes were. The man had mono-eyelids, so seeing him trying to open his eyes was in a way both funny and pleasing.

"Well, uh," Minseok spoke up after another few minutes of silence. "You look lovely in your kimono."

Her heart stuttered at the words. Luckily she wasn't sipping or swallowing anything or else the girl would have choked to death of embarrassment. "Oh, tha- thank you, you look handsome in yours, too."

"Ah- oh, right - yeah, I'm wearing one, too..." she watched as he looked at his own kimono as if he was surprised to know that he was in one. "How- how about you try this one? I like it." Picking up a roll of sushi and placed it on her plate, "You're not eating much, is it bad?"

"No, no, no. It's just ..." _This is getting out of hand. And I don't know what this means._ "Well, it's only two hours on the plane, but is it jet lag? Ah~~ Anyway, the food is really healthy and fresh. Very delicious, too."

_I'm confused._

"As long as you like it, then I'm okay. Tell me if there's something wrong, okay?"

_What does it mean when you say if I'm okay, you're okay?_

The ring was bugging her as she tried to try the delicious food without the pestering thoughts. Months ago she didn't even care about this, but suddenly it hit her in every direction it was impossible to dodge. Food and cooking were all that she had to focus on, but now, whatever this meant was leading her astray. And the fact that Minseok did not attempt to talk about it made it even harder to bring it up.

_"Here's the ring." Minseok placed the ring on the palm of her hand, unlike the first time he slid it to her ring finger. Although the two acts held no higher significance in their context of marriage, she suddenly felt small when he did that the second time. She waited for him to say more. A reason, a problem, an excuse. Anything that could build up to what she wanted to ask, but he never continued, left it hanging there._

She wanted to be bold about it, but this was the only topic she didn't have the mental capacity for.

When she looked from her food after tasting his favorite roll of sushi, their eyes met and he immediately averted his and looked down to his food.

A capable man like him with so much on his shoulders would surely find it easy to find a better woman than a girl like her. She had wished that this would last, but for how long? Nobody knew about their relationship and in a few days, they could be revealed to his colleagues and superiors. How long could they keep this façade? She wondered if he already had a woman in mind.

All of this, she knew that he was doing this because he felt bad, but at the same time, she wanted it to be something more. Why was she demanding so much from him right now? Did she want something more? She herself was part of it, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

It was hard to call him out if she was just doing the same thing.

She wanted to stand up and leave, but she couldn't.

It was then that they were interrupted by a loud knock.

"Hello! Children!" It was Suho in the same flashy coconut shirt, his hair slightly disheveled, his eyes excited at the sight of the food. "How was your day?"

"Oppa!" she appreciated the older brother for coming in and breaking this air in the room. It was his specialty after all.

"Omo! You're so pretty!" Sitting down next to her, he placed his hand on her head and smiled at her with a sense of proudness in his eyes. The man had that similar aura that her sister had.

"Here." Of course, she picked up a salmon wrapped sushi and held it out for him.

"Ah~~~~" Once again, how could an old man like him be acting like a child? "Ooh~~ yum yum! Oh, haven't seen you pick that up for a long time."

She followed Suho's gaze and because of her height, she had to sit up slightly to see what was he referring to.

"We're traveling. It'd be a no-brainer to not take pictures." Minseok returned a smile when he stared at the camera.

"I'm just glad you're taking pictures again." A strange silence followed his statement. The brothers just looked at each other with a knowing look, something she couldn't decipher. "Because I've been perfecting my modeling stance, kiddo, so you better take care of me!"

Jayoung burst out laughing while Minseok just rolled his eyes at his brother boasting.

"Come on, we still have four hours before sleep. Let's go somewhere!"

"But Jayoung could still be exhausted," Minseok said to Suho sternly.

"I rarely have the time to hang out with you guys~~ I have another separate meeting tomorrow while you get to hang out."

"I had a good bath and a fantastic meal. I'm fully functioning right now." Maybe, it was Suho's influence that made her talk like that, and she loved it.

"See? Now, that's the spirit! Follow me!" she felt the urgent tapping on her shoulders and clumsily try to stand up in the kimono with Suho's help. "No need to change."

And so they both sat at the back of Suho's car while he sat in the front with the old Secretary Kim. Suho was always starting the conversation and making jokes, most of which had Secretary Kim and Minseok shiver in horror while she had a great time laughing at all of them. The fact that his jokes were so bad that she found it funny was confusing; _so are they still considered as great jokes if I'm laughing at how bad they are?_

Stealing glances from the man who kept avoiding her gaze, she smiled to herself.

_I'm lost._

As they approached the river near the village, Suho had Secretary Kim stayed behind while the three of them walked under the windy night sky of Japan. The sound her kimono made every time she took a step blend perfectly with the air was satisfying and relaxing.

The cherry blossoms adorned the sidewalk while the Kim brother went crazy with crazy photoshoots. She could tell that no matter how many times Minseok said he hated every pose Suho made and how cringingly disgusting they were, Minseok still loved the fact that he was taking pictures of his brother. Maybe this was something they had always done in the past.

The modeling maniac that was Suho and the photo maniac that was Minseok. A match made in heaven, she thought.

Facing the river reflecting the moonlight that she was bathing in, she was sitting on a rug. Couldn't get the kimono dirty. They were valuable, made of silk. The girl thought that Suho wouldn't have any problems with paying for a kimono, but when the man refused to disrespect the host and treat it with care, she was blown away once more by this man's values. The Kims really shocked her to how strangely humble some rich people could be. The girl knew first-hand how it was to be around her parents.

She heard Suho's voice faintly from behind saying that he was going to get something for us to drink.

The stars never failed to take her breath away and watching them in a different land certainly added a magical element to them. Some of the villagers were also wearing kimonos walking amongst the tourists who took pictures of them silently.

The scratched the back of her neck timid of the thought that they too would think of her as a subject.

As she lost herself in the flowing river below and the cold evening breeze put a spell on her, watching the lights of the city on the other side twinkling just as much as the stars, she felt a cold sensation on her right ear when she looked up to see Minseok leaning down to her.

His fingers gently brushed away her hair strands and tucked them behind her ear. For a while, he didn't move, his fingers almost dig deep into her hair but he stopped mid-way and drew back.

"Look over here." The man motioned her to his side and shook the camera in front of her.

Each click of the camera felt like a cut to her heart.

_What was that for?_

She had noticed these close interactions, but like him, she decided to brush them off as if they were normal between them.

They were a couple, acting like a couple, but were they truly a real couple?

Should she feel something?

The girl didn't even know he felt, so should she risk trying to feel something alone?

She had seen the Kim brothers were always so nice to everyone, it was hard to distinguish these acts as special. Minseok's friends might have said otherwise that he'd changed or became himself once more, but she wasn't sure if it was real. If he was doing this because he was considerate.

"Jayoung-ah, you look really beautiful in these photos. Look." Minseok sat next to her and showed her the pictures he had taken.

The man didn't even try and she was already a goner.

She then leaned in and held his left hand to move it away from her sight. "Where? Can't see..."

At this point, she might as well just give up.

His mannerism was there to lure all the women in and she might as well be one of the casualties.

The deep chuckle he let out when she complimented Suho's ridiculous poses was aesthetically pleasing.

She laughed along with him, giving in to her feelings for this man, not knowing if he felt the same. Another giggle to herself and Minseok clearly confused it for finding Suho's handsome stance funny.

It was funny because, at this point, she stopped caring if she'd get hurt. After all, she had been doing that for a long time with her parents, so it wouldn't be too different she hoped.

They were interrupted by a few clicks from behind and there was Suho with the drinks. "You guys look perfect in them I couldn't help it." He briefly showed the picture of them back facing his phone's camera with the river as the background. "Here, let me help. Now, that I'm done showing off my modeling skills."

Minseok let Suho take away his camera and helped her get up from her feet, standing close to her.

"Come on, guys! Closer!" Why should she care anymore? Jayoung then took a big step closer to him, her side touching his, earning a thumbs up from Suho.

She then looked up at Minseok with a smile and heard another click. When the man did the same, he froze in shock and coughed loudly.

"Are you okay?" she helped to smooth his back. He couldn't get sick now, could he? Really need to keep an eye on him for safe measures.

She was breathing slowly, making nobody catching her still awake as she leaned on Minseok's shoulder to rest on the car ride back to the lodge.

The girl remembered the first time she was in a relationship. If you could call a bunch of sixteen-year-olds hanging out together a relationship. They didn't kiss, so that was nice enough on the guy's part. He only held her hand, hugged her, and played with her hair. Breaking up with him was too bad though she cried for weeks on end.

She wondered how much she was going to cry this time with him.

"Um, they said that this is our room."

Jayoung looked into the room with a huge futon laid in the middle.

_Right, we're married._

Her head nodded nonchalantly to his suggestion of bringing out another futon and blanket, her face straight with no surprise, but her heart was beating crazily at the idea of sharing a room with the man. Well, she had fallen asleep close to him a few times, but this was different; she wasn't taking care of him and he wasn't sick.

She watched silently as he laid another smaller futon for her and picked up a pillow that was on the huge one, placing it for her a bit further away from each other.

As much as she was shy about this whole thing, she couldn't help feeling a little sad at how far the space between them was. She questioned herself if this was how it was going to go for the rest of their marriage.

"Goodnight, oppa."

"Uh, night."

They had changed into Jinbei, a shorter version of yukata for staying at home.

Once the lights were off, she stared into the darkness until she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.

Tears dropped from her eyes.

She wasn't sure if they were sad tears or happy ones.

Either way, she was lucky to have met this man with whom she slowly fell in love.

🌸

He recalled the first time he saw her in a wedding dress. So beautiful. Yet so uncomfortable. So scared. So afraid. A forced smile. A forced marriage. The man didn't want to say anything more to upset her any further. Walking towards the set, he almost slipped but managed to balance himself. He couldn't fall there. His back was going to shatter into a million pieces if he had.

A small giggle he heard before him.

To look up and see her smile like that was enough to brighten the gloomy day they were both having despite the fact how glamorous everything seemed.

All of a sudden, she was gone. He was standing in the heavy snow falling and hurting his face.

_What? Jayoung-ah?_

Then he was yanked back and fell on his knee. His left side hurt like hell. To his right, he could see her standing there staring at him with her hands held out, but she wasn't close enough. She didn't approach him. She just stood there, waiting.

"Jayoung-ah?"

The bright light hurt his tired eyes. He was back in the lodge lying in the futon, sweating. Looking to his right where Jayoung should be, he only saw empty space. Her futon was gone.

"Wha- Jayoung-ah?"

Even with his groggily head spinning like crazy, he pushed himself up from the floor, rushing to the door, sliding it open in a swift movement.

"Oppa- oh!" upon seeing his unexpected presence right at the entrance, Jayoung managed to trip on the flat surface face-first into his chest, knocking him over.

The heavy landing on the wooden floor wasn't enough. He just had to take her body's weight landing on his body, too.

_Come on, you can save face._

Minseok tried so hard not to think about his now damaged back, ecstatic that she was here.

"Omo! Oppa, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" Jayoung quickly rolled to the side from his body and sat up, hands trying to hold his neck and arm wanting to pull him up.

"... let me lie down for a bit..."

"Oh, no! Did I break something in there?" she lifted his head and let him rest on her lap as she awkwardly patted his shoulder. "I heard you called and I came as fast as I could. You kind of startled me."

 _You think?_ The man simply stared at her with a raised brow, showing her that he was extremely unimpressed.

Her worried look suddenly burst into a laugh. "oh, sorry. I'm so sorry."

"My god. You're not sorry. Shut it."

_How dare she make me fall over at this age and laugh at me like this?_

She couldn't stop giggling though, trying to hide her smile behind her hands as she looked away embarrassed. It wasn't too bad though. Seeing her genuinely laugh, lying on her lap while she gently tapped his shoulder as if she knew that could make him feel better.

"Okay, seriously though..." Jayoung cleared her throat, biting her lips trying to stop giggling at him. "Did I break something? Should we go to –"

"It's fine. I'm not that old." With a reddened face, he barely pushed himself off the ground when she helped to support him from behind.

_Oh, no... I didn't just say that_ **_I'm not that old_ ** _..._

Stretching his arms and legs to soothe away the pain, he caught Jayoung silently giggled at him once more.

"Aish! This kid!"

"Sorry! Sorry!"

of course, he joined in the laugh. The man couldn't possibly get mad at her. "Where were you anyway?"

"Oh, I was watching the cook make breakfast." The girl was still in her Jinbei, probably had freshened up with her hair in a bun that way. "He could speak Korean! Looks amazing! Come on, oppa! Clean up! Breakfast is coming up!"

7:15 am.

Early for a day off, but not that much for those who were working. He let the girl dragged him to the kitchen at the back where the host was preparing a meal for them. Minseok didn't realize he could watch his breakfast being made, but then again he was always working and not really into cooking until Jayoung showed up.

"Here, try this." The old chef handed a piece of freshly cut cucumber for Jayoung who gladly accepted and took a bite.

"Um! Different from Korean ones a bit?"

"This is a lot chewier since we use a different way to grow them."

She asked to smell every ingredient and with a spoon and a fresh cup of tea beside her, the girl dipped into everything she could, wanting to taste them. He could watch her do this all day. Even the old chef seemed jolly and smitten by her joyful aura.

"... this one's too much..." Quickly she washed her tongue with tea and lightly coughed.

"Well, this is real wasabi harvested and made not like supermarkets in other countries selling it claimed it to be. Most of them were just synthetically produced to taste like wasabi."

"Aw... oppa... we've been lied to..."

Both the chef and Minseok chuckled at her adorable reaction as she tried to wash away the wasabi. "I'll brew some ginger tea for you. It'll wash it down faster than normal tea." The old chef then reached the upper counter for a teabag. "Actually, it's good for washing down anything. Next time if you want to taste test and clean your pallet, use ginger tea."

"Wah! Really?"

"Yes, anything with ginger will do like pickled ginger. I'll teach you how to brew it. Not difficult at all." He then set up his teapots and cups. "Ah, I have a few boxes of them. Take some when you go back home."

"Oh, no, no. You needn't –"

"I insist, young one." Jayoung almost melted into a goo of happiness when he sternly told her to have it. "Seems like you'll need more than I do."

This interaction just breathed life into his humanity once more. Jayoung bowed shyly and thanked the old man who proceeded to teach her how to brew the tea. Minseok didn't even notice the notebook until she started noting down everything the chef said. Right, the kid usually had her phone for recording, but this was the first time he saw her writing something down.

He smiled to himself. Of course, chefs had their own cookbooks and recipes. Minseok just hoped his favorite recipes were her priority, _but whatever_... then he felt disappointed that he didn't buy her a notebook for that.

"You've got yourself a very nice girl, young man."

The chef chirped up when Jayoung excused herself for a second, leaving them alone.

"Oh..." for a second there, Minseok was flattered to be called young, but then he remembered that the guy was probably almost 30 years older than him, so the validity of his statement could be questionable. The wind blew over his head long enough when Minseok almost choked on his water. "Eh..." how could he forget about Jayoung?

"Only a complete fool would let this one go."

"Yes..." Everyone was also telling him that. This time he should do something about it.

9:10 am.

"We're going for a walk in the town." When he told the host, the lady simply smiled and went around to get him a red folding umbrella.

"There could be unexpected rain this month, and though it's just a drizzle, you should still have this."

"Thank you very much."

The rental car Suho left them was extremely convenient, to say the least. Once they were close to town, Minseok found a place to park and let Jayoung out. And just as the lady had said, there was a slight drizzle, but this wasn't too much of a hassle. Minseok was one who could stand the cold, plus he got a waterproof camera case with him; that was the true importance here.

"Wah~~ it looks so nice!"

Red looked good on her.

Her small hands held on to the umbrella as she jumped from shops to shops. How her eyes lighted up at anything about this place was a delight. Every time she jumped over a puddle of water and laughed as if that was the most fun she had ever had his lungs were stripped away of air, which had him dizzy from the blinding shine of her big heart. From time to time, she would let the raindrops kissed her skin, soaking the cool water and breathing out visible air.

Such a blessing to have been the one to take these pictures of her.

"Oh, look! Squirrel!" the girl pointed at the keychains dangling amongst many other souvenirs at a particular shop. "Can I?"

"Of course." Did she like squirrels because he looked like them? He still remembered her remarks about him, but he wasn't sure if she was just talking about him. Either way, he was proud that he was associated with the animal.

"Do you want something, no?"

"I don't mind anything if you pick one for me."

"Then... the same one. You should have a pink one." Jayoung got him a pink squirrel while she got the blue one. "Wah~ nice, huh?"

Wasn't this something couples usually do? Anyhow, Minseok was definitely not complaining.

It was then another figure showed up. Another young customer looking through the things as Minseok paid for the keychains when he noticed the boy was getting a bit too close to Jayoung than he would him to.

"Hi, I've never seen you here before." The boy politely bowed to her.

Jayoung, on the other hand, mustered the best Japanese intonation and said, "I'm sorry. I don't speak Japanese. Korean."

"Oh, I speak a little Korean. It's fine."

_Oh, no. Did he just give her the once-over? Not once? Not twice? But THREE TIMES?_

Before Jayoung could even look up from her shy stare, with his left hand, Minseok caught her left one and slightly lifted their hands as he acted surprised to see what this young man had to say about stuff and things and stuff and things and –

"Oh, how about we go? Oh, hi?" making sure their rings clinked together in front of the teen, Minseok tried really hard not to sound condescending.

"Woah, okay... I thought –" the boy backed off slightly, looking them both funny. "You look so young, though. Such a waste."

_You so –_

He thought that after all these years of being a mediator, a counselor, he could deal with tough and stressful situations with no problems, but he didn't think that he could have ever been this furious before.

"You're being extremely rude, kid." Minseok hollered to the young boy who was already quite further away from them.

Somehow, this kid still turned around and rolled his eyes at him. "Whatever, creep."

_OH, THIS –_

The instinct to just jump at the kid and throw him off a cliff was strong, but it was a crime to hurt dumb teenagers. And there was no cliff nearby.

"Oppa? What is it? What did he say?" the cold small hand of hers touched his clutching fists and once he took at the wide concerned eyes, his molten lava fury was defused just like that.

The kids' words really made his blood boil, but staring back at Jayoung, he thought of his own age.

_It's true, though... I am..._

"Hey, how about I take some pictures of you? Eh... not having pictures of your own is ridiculous... And, you're in the rain the whole time. It's not good."

Jayoung unexpectedly tiptoed and tried to pull the camera off his neck when she once more tripped on his foot this time and ended up clinging on to him with her life.

Height wasn't Minseok's best trait, but since she was shorter than most women, it made a very compelling for her to be hit her head against his chest. Minseok tried to bite his lips, not saying anything. This morning was an exception that he could handle because the pain actually distracted him from thinking about how close she was. This time ...

When she decided to look up before immediately backing away like this morning with her big chocolate eyes gazing up at him like that, he was a goner. Her fingers digging into his shoulder for support fogged his mushy fish brain. His whole body was rigid against her fragile one.

"Sorry... um..." that didn't stop her from taking the camera away. With all her efforts on her toes, she managed to extract it and led him to a nearby tree. "Hm..."

"Wait, pushing this will set everything to Auto ..." Why was he leaning so close to her just to push a button again? Clearing his throat, Minseok stepped back and got into his position.

He smiled fondly at the girl trying to even lift the heavy thing and take a picture of him. _This is too good to be true._

"I like you."

"Eh? What!?" luckily, the girl was far away from him as he'd blurted out in such a nonchalant way.

"no- NO- nothing!"

"Omo! For a great photographer, you're a terrible model..." The girl frowned at him disapprovingly from afar while trying to get a good picture of him. How could he focus when she went out of her way to distract him like that?

The man heaved a sigh, whispering to himself, "I really do like you. No, I love you. I do." It was rare that he zoned anyone's voice out, but this time, as Jayoung complained about his bad posture and expression, he asked himself if this should be something more than just a meaningless forced marriage?

"Oh, well. At least, you look handsome." The girl stopped herself and let out a weird squeal. And before he could even react, she pushed the camera harshly right at his chest, earning quite a low groan from the man. Why did she have to keep hitting the same spot? "I- um. I'll walk ahead. I want to look over there. Yah! That place is so interesting looking!"

"But isn't my handsome-self more interesting?" there was a playful tone in his voice and watching her cringe at his words was a joy.

"Ah~~"

He could tell she was flushed, redder than a ripe tomato right now even this far away.

_"Don't ever let her go."_

_"It's okay to get what you want – you know that right?"_

_"Only a complete fool would let this one go."_

No matter how small the chance was he was going to take it.

"Hey, wait for me!" 

Minseok let out a chuckle and decided to run after her. Really run after her. And if he tried hard enough, maybe just... maybe, he could catch up.

🌸

After walking around the town for so long, Minseok suggested they take a train to the water city, Gujo Hachiman.

This place was known for the intricate and beautiful waterways all across the town. The rivers and water canals. The sound of the water running alone was enough to refresh her worn-out mood and restore her energy once more.

The town seemed to blend the past and the future. The concrete buildings with the bamboo stalls and shops adorned the crowded street with the handsome trees standing tall. The most beautiful thing out of these structures was that certain walkways had the colorful koi fish swimming on the side of the road in the drainage canal with the vegetation growing just above it. Koi fish were everywhere at this point.

The girl watched the fish following her steps as she walked by. She marveled at the pretty carps. She wished Korea had the same sidewalk with a canal for them to swim like this. Minseok explained to her that not only this helped with the beauty of the street; the carps themselves were great cleaners, eating up organic waste and keeping the water clean. Some houses actually have a pool of carp just for cleaning vegetables and meat, and the best thing about them is that the water didn't need cleaning or purifying; the fish did all the work since it was their source of food.

"Wah~~ that's taking recycling to a whole new level..."

All of a sudden, she wanted to do the same thing. Maybe buying a house and building a pool then putting the carps in. She could get fresh water for cleaning groceries without wasting water.

"Hey, we can stop and relax here."

Minseok pointed out where people were taking off their shoes and dipping their feet into the flowing water. She just couldn't wait. As they walked past the drainage canal full of koi fish, they got to the part of the sidewalk where they could just sit down and enjoy the fresh water running through their feet.

"Omo! So cold." She let out a giggle and clutched on Minseok's jacket, not actually anticipating how freezing the water would as she slowly dipped her feet in the water. Sitting on the stones with feet soaked in water and watching the people walked past them on the sidewalk was something she didn't think could help her unwind.

"I haven't been this relaxed in a long time." The man finally said something after minutes of silence. She didn't mind it though. It was a comfortable silence.

Minseok just sat there next to her, his pretty eyes close, his seemingly dry feet wiggling in the water, his arms on the stone beneath them leaning back as he let out a soft sigh.

The air rushing and blowing through his dark hair was satisfying to look at. It felt like she was blessed with this man somehow. A person who actually let her do the things she wanted, be the person she wanted to become, and let everything stressful go without a second thought. This could be forever she had the power to make it so.

"When was the last time you relax? Like stop working and go on a vacation?" the girl whispered. She was too relaxed to even speak in her normal voice.

"Honestly, I ... don't remember." The fact that he'd got mono-eyelids never stopped being surprising to her. He looked really good that way. Slowly, he opened his eyes, staring blanking at the blue sky above. "I don't know if these past years went by so quickly because it was so boring or traumatizing that I forgot everything, but the long days happen once in a while. I could only remember the long working hours..."

"Doesn't Suho-oppa let you off work?"

"No, it's not him. It's me. I just... there wasn't anything happening in my life, so I thought..."

Jayoung could feel the burden weighing on his heart. From the first she saw him years ago, she had always noticed how hard those were trying to see and look for something. She didn't understand what it was before. She had thought he was just trying to see and study who she was, but now... it was clear. The man was just looking for something to happen in his life.

"Why didn't you just do the things you want?" he was a successful man. He could do anything, she assumed, especially with his brother as the CEO of a huge company, there wouldn't be anything standing in his way, would there?

"I don't know." His shoulders slumped forward, eyes trained on his feet in the water.

She truly didn't know what to say as she tried to look at him. This man had a habit of avoiding eye contact with her. Maybe it was all connected. The fact that he was ... sad and silent. She remembered the first month being with him. The man had been distant and just like the lifeless grey and boring wallpaper of his house, Minseok wasn't much different.

"I guess that's what happens when you listen to your parents too much." Finally, he returned her gaze. A small sad smile on his lips. "I'd like to think that I'm doing all of this for you... so that you won't end up like me... Happiness isn't something easy to get. You need to desire it and chase it... I didn't know when, but at some point, I gave up trying and let everyone make choices for me." Minseok sat up, his back straight, his eyes a lot more determined this time. "But now that you're here, I feel different. I feel young again. It's time I stop living my life this way and be more active."

The words warmed her heart. She could see the excitement in his eyes. And he looked different. His eyes were brighter this time around like he'd found something, a new goal, a new life philosophy, and whatever it was, it certainly made him a lot more beautiful.

People are beautiful when they are doing something they love.

"Seeing you love cooking so much, acting on what you love... really taught me a lot about how to live, plus your sister relied on me on looking after you, so... I should be a good role model, shouldn't I?" Minseok let out the charming chuckle that she came to adore.

"Ne, oppa, fighting!" Two small fists she put up along with a straight face. "Whatever you do, I support you, too." It was only natural. He had spent all his time pushing her, not caring about his own decisions.

Minseok then burst out laughing, almost falling over. "Sorry... it's just.. nothing."

After another few minutes, they walked around more, getting the energy they needed to go further. There was food decorating and sculpting being displayed on the street. A bridge where mostly young men jumped off into the cold water beneath. Everything about this place could barely calm her heart beating so crazily at the moment though; the girl wasn't sure why, but after that conversation, she felt timid around Minseok.

It finally dawned on her that all this time, Minseok never once tried to be charming or interesting at all. The guy was just lazy, afraid, passive, and had no drive to be who he really was, but she already fell in love with him. And just now, he was so forward and charismatic with his words for the first time she couldn't help but swoon at him silently.

Trying hard to avoid eye contact from him, Jayoung bit her lips and held her reddened cheeks with her cold hands. This was the perfect time to squeal at such an appealing act, but she couldn't do that. How would she able to channel her fangirling properly?

_Oh, no... he hadn't shown all his cards, yet and I'm melting into a pile of gooey burnt chocolate left under the sun too long..._

"Excuse me," she could understand the old man before her talking.

Minseok, of course, being his amazing-self listened and then translated Japanese for her. "Oh, there's fresh water from the well. He offered to draw it up and let us drink."

"Omo! Yes, please!"

The old man gave her a bright smile before saying something to a younger man who began working on the pump. Along with other travelers, the old man offered everyone a bowl of water from the well.

Looking back and forth, Jayoung was excited and almost tripped once more when Minseok caught her again. This time, his hands gripped her shoulders, balancing her. "You're planning on killing me, are you?"

"Ah... Chef always complains about clumsy me," a shock ran down her spine as she questioned why Minseok still had his big hands holding her. "Guess, I can't go a day without being clumsy."

They then left the old man, thanking him for the replenishment before catching another train to another destination. So many places to visit with such little time.

Apparently, Suho had bought tickets and got coupons for them, claiming that he himself couldn't have gone anywhere due to his workload. Minseok shook his head and frowned every time he talked about his older brother, but she wasn't sure what the fuzz was about.

Luckily, they had some snacks along the way as they sat down for another two hours of the bullet train taking them to somewhere even more magical, Minseok stated.

Now, here comes the hard part about crushing on someone. She couldn't think of anything to do with him to not seem weird.

_But I always do things with him all the time..._

With the realization though, things got tougher. Sometimes, she felt extreme sadness, staring at him. Sometimes, too much happiness. Sometimes, she felt bold, not scared of being next to him. Was it her hormones? Well, she wasn't on her period, but she was certainly going through some changes.

Stealing glances from him was harder than she thought. The moment he caught her doing that, Jayoung quickly cleared her throat and looked elsewhere.

_This is going to be a long ride, huh?_

Jayoung wanted to push herself up to sit straight when her right hand landed on his left in the process. The cold and rough skin against the warm palm was certainly a sensation. She had never touched his hand this way before. Once the icy ring hit her senses though, it chilled her to the core. That object always got to her.

Minseok didn't seem to mind though, which was both a good thing and a bad one.

_Does he like it? Does he hate it, but he doesn't want to say anything? What? Maybe, he doesn't even know I'm touching his hand?_

Reluctantly, she drew her hand back while slightly lowering her head as an apology, but Minseok only motioned to his shoulder. "We've been walking a lot. It's fine if you want a nap."

_oh, such a sweet silky voice._

Jayoung sighed and tried to _normally_ lean on his shoulder, closing her tired eyes. She thought that she could have it her way, she could've had him talk until she fell asleep or maybe sing if he knew how, but it shouldn't be too hard for him since he'd had already gotten such a beautiful voice.

Her eyes opened to see Minseok looking down at her in a way she had never seen before. Focused, intense, and unwavering. She could almost feel his emotions working the same way as his chocolate-brown eyes burned into hers. Traces of his fingers on her cheeks, stopping before her lips.

Her eyes opened to see Minseok staring at her blankly.

"We're here, sleepyhead."

Immediately, she turned away from him to stretch and mouthed phrases of self-deprecation.

_What kind of dream was that?_

_So dumb..._

_He doesn't even know what I saw, but why do I feel so embarrassed?_

Sweats forming on her head. The anxiety that the dream caused was real. That was too much all at once. She couldn't.

"You know how Japan is known for the animal sanctuaries..." Minseok started as they tried to navigate through the crowded station. "Like ever heard of the cat island?"

"Oh, oh, oh! We're going there?"

"Nope." The girl stopped in her tracks, frowning disappointingly at Minseok who just burst out laughing and ran back to her to push her forward. "There's the deer town, dog town, rabbit town, but we're going to another place since we've seen them all."

"You don't even know if I had seen them or not..."

"We're going to the fox village." As Minseok hailed a taxi, Jayoung's eyes almost burst open at the revelation. "...assuming that you haven't seen them..."

She only nodded excitedly at Minseok; then, she shook her head, not sure which one was the way to answer.

"Ah... cute."

His fingers lightly traced her bangs as he chuckled at her attitude. There was a pause though, and he turned to watch the town instead. Once she was out of his sight, the girl clenched her fists, pushing the urge to jump off the taxi down.

_Does he know? Is he playing with me? What's this? I'm going poison all his food from now on._

_Wait, no, he might die. That's not right._

Sometimes, she tended to confuse affection for murderous tendencies. She might need to talk to Jimin to clear things up once more. Why couldn't she just love this man in peace? When she didn't find him dashing, the man was always shy and drew away in a cave or something, but the moment she decided to act on her feelings, he just became this civilized man, friendly and loving. Why couldn't she just stalk him in his natural habitat?

But then she smiled at the man as she glanced at him. Why did part of her like that he did that?

_Ah~~ so, confusing._

She loved it that he was friendly and talking to her, making her feel important, but she hated it, too – too much attention and she might just burst.

"Alright, we should keep our hands on our belongings and oh, no petting the foxes."

"Aw..." they were in the enclosure already, listening to the rules. As Minseok translated everything to her, she felt sad that she couldn't touch the creatures, but at least, she could touch him.

_Wait, what? No._

Jayoung shook her head, feeling her cheeks burn at her own thoughts.

"What? You don't want to feed the foxes?" She didn't even know where she was now. "There's a specific place just for feeding foxes."

"Oh – okay."

So they bought a few packs of hot dogs and ventured out in the fox village.

There she saw the cute creatures just walking around the woods and mostly sleeping and curling in their own furs. When one came up to her, she stayed still as it moved closer to sniff her feet and looked questioningly at her, but the moment she stepped forward, it backed off.

The beautiful red fur coats they had and their fluffiness was enough to melt her heart, making her think of Chan. She hadn't gone to the dog park for a while. Maybe she could convince Minseok to take her there again.

The best part was when a fox just ran towards Minseok, who immediately closed his eyes, squealed out a tiny 'help', and sprinted to hide behind her. She did her best to swallow a giggle and stared at him judgingly as he lifted his head from behind her right then popped up on her left. Meanwhile, the fox just smelled her feet and walked off to lick and clean its nearby fox friend's fur.

After feeding the foxes, they decided that it was time they went back to the lodge after such a long day of traveling, eating street food, buying souvenirs, and especially taking pictures. So many pictures.

At the lodge, they sat silently in their Jinbei doing their own thing in the living room where the sliding door opened to the sight of the sunset at the foot of the mountain.

Jayoung sat there reading her textbook as it was really closing in on the national exam, now, but she didn't feel too much pressure. As long as she could pass with a good enough grade, it'd be fine. She was going to be a chef after all. There were other priorities. After every twenty minutes of studying, she would reward herself with a cooking video or recipe on the internet – just to keep her study sessions fun and motivating.

Occasionally, she would watch the lake, the forest in the distance.

Minseok, meanwhile, was going through the photos on his laptops along with the complicated camera equipment he set up. The man really took this photography seriously even though they were just traveling. His eyes would narrow and scanned the picture, deciding what shot was perfect or not. During their travel, he didn't just take pictures of her but also a lot more of the environment around them. She had only seen a few of them, but they looked really good. The man could certainly be a travel photographer or any other type really. He was that good. Though she wasn't a pro at what he did, she knew that he could be the best if he tried.

A click of the camera drew her away from her boring textbook.

Minseok smiled as he put the camera down and motioned her to come close. The girl, of course, dropped her books in a heartbeat and moved over to Minseok's side.

"Wah~~ These are so nice..." Minseok let her view all the pictures now that he was done sorting them out. It was 10:20 pm, so he'd been going at it for three hours along with her studying.

"I'll go get us something to drink."

Finally, he stood up and stretched his arms and legs to his heart's content. There was this satisfied look after he sighed at what he had done, the same expression she made after every meal she'd cooked – a sense of accomplishment. She had never seen him this way before. He looked nice that way. Happy and fulfilled.

As she scrolled through the many pictures he took of the world and her, she couldn't help but sense a feeling of warmth in each shot he took. She wondered if he loved her as much as he loved these pictures, looking at each intimate photo of herself. In some of the photos, she didn't even know that she was doing half of the things in there as Minseok secretly took random shots of her doing stuff.

Jayoung smiled to herself as she took out her phone and view a particular picture. On the train, the girl had stolen a selfie of him drooling on her shoulder and her beaming at him lovingly. The man really did look like a squirrel.

The moment she heard incoming footsteps, Jayoung hid her phone quickly and went back to view his photos. There weren't many pictures of him, so she was glad she stole one.

Then, she noticed that the pictures that she took of him weren't touched at all; none of them was deleted. The awkward poses Minseok did for the camera translated into something genuine and heartwarming. She was glad that he decided to keep them regardless of the flaws.

"Well, you're right. I'm not very photogenic myself." It was the ginger tea the old man left for them. Minseok handed a glass to her.

"No, as I said, you look... okay. It's just your posture. You rarely stand in front of a camera after all." The girl tried not to think of her previous remark earlier that day.

"Yeah, thank you." Minseok just laughed remembering her words. "Oh, you know we have to go meet the others tomorrow, right?"

Right, there was supposed to be a water lantern ceremony that the host held tomorrow. Minseok told her that it was an opening to a new location nearby, and the host invited everyone to join the auspicious rite.

"The host sent us the kimonos we should wear to the ceremony. Don't worry, you don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to, I'll have Jongdae and Sehun make sure of that."

Of course, she was the wife.

_Oh, no. Am I going to make a big scene? No, I don't want to embarrass him._

"Hey, hey... It'll be fine." He was quick to notice her discomfort. "Suho will make it so that you would be relaxed. It's a cheerful occasion. You'll be fine. I'll be right by your side."

With his hand tapping on her shoulder, she gazed into the man's eyes when he said he would right by her side. She never thought such words would mean so much to her and weighed on her heart this much. A feeling of safety emerged. And though she questioned if everything would be okay, she was relieved that at least he would be there when it happened.

Suddenly, she got this urge to lean back and rest in his arms, wondering what it would feel like, but she straightened her back, to which Minseok responded by backing away slightly. "Look, Suho's pictures are hilarious."

He then showed her the pictures of the older brother that she hadn't seen.

That night she fell asleep wondering if there would be a time she could close the gap between the two of them and be in his embrace. 

🌸

She was there near the pond watching the numerous koi fish displaying their array of pleasing colors swimming in lit water under the moonlight. He loved how she constantly had to tuck her fallen strand of hair behind her ear. The special hairdo the lady did for her to fit in this ceremony. She looked like a princess under the beautiful night sky. His breath tingled with a sliver of anticipation of being close to her.

"Anyway, thank you so much for your support. We could have never done it without you." Of course, he had to turn his attention to his clients once in a while. Sitting under the gazebo with the color light and lanterns surrounding the place made him feel at ease.

Suho seemed to notice his distracted mind and smiled at the younger brother, tightening his golden tie. Apparently, the older man was a lot busier than Minseok thought he would be. The man just got back from another event, slightly sweating in his suit. Minseok, on the other hand, found the silky fabric of the kimono comforting.

"If you don't mind, can we join the ceremony?" Suho had a better grip on Japanese than he did, sounding just like a native speaker.

"Oh, I see you're uncomfortable in your suit. If you'd like, I'll have someone bring a kimono." The older woman smiled to which Suho nodded gratefully.

"Will you? You read mind." They all laughed, and the two of them excused themselves with Suho dragging Minseok to his room in the hotel where he changed into the cooler kimono. "So, how is it going with you both?"

"It's okay I guess." Minseok wasn't sure what to answer. There was so much to say, but so few words to explain.

"I know what you're thinking – ow. Help." The older brother almost slipped and fell while trying to put the piece of garment on.

Minseok stayed silent as he helped his brother. Of course, he knew what he was thinking. Even though they hadn't been around each other much as adults, they were close as kids. There was something about the older that made him feel better just being around him.

He had once overheard the fact that Suho begged for a younger sibling to which his parents had previously refused when he was four – just as he was starting to understand words. At first, he didn't think much of it, but then it became clear that his parents didn't pay much attention to him. It wasn't like they hated him. It was just that every parent had their own biases towards their children. Now, they actually toned it down and were a lot receptive to him, which he did appreciate them for trying.

Minseok would have grown up to resent his brother if it wasn't for his dumb love for him. He always felt a puppy that Suho pleaded to adopt and promised to take care and love all on his own without bothering his parents. Although they didn't show him the same love they did for the older brother, Suho made sure that he filled in the role.

Minseok still remembered holding his big hands as they walked to his kindergarten. The kids at school mocked for being fat while Suho just picked him up like he was a feather and swung him around, playing with him at the playground, poking his chubby cheeks, and telling him that he was the cutest kid on the block. While his parents couldn't attend events at school, Suho was always there cheering him up in the crowd.

The same question people asked was what the age gap was all about. Suho just waved it off nonchalantly, saying that because he was a decade older he could raise his brother properly _unlike his parents_.

The last part was reserved exclusively just for Minseok. Even he didn't know about Suho's harsh upbringing. All this time spent thinking about what he did wrong to have let his parents astray from him, he forgot about Suho. He never experienced much of what Suho had to go through.

Since then he could never hate his brother, even if he had to go through the harsh environment of people comparing the two of them.

_"It's okay. Don't worry about me, kid." Suho ruffled his hair as he brought up his birthday cake. "You're twelve now. Still young, but I think you hold out on your own. I'm twenty-two, and it's about time I start doing things like complicated adult stuff, you know. And I won't be around as much... Remember what I taught you, Min-ah?"_

Minseok made sure there wasn't any wrinkle on the kimono, remembering the time when Suho helped put on his suit for his high school graduation. The older man ditched an important meeting with his client just to come to a really rowdy and chaotic graduation ceremony. And he never hesitated to do the same for Suho, ditching his biology exam to watch him do a presentation at his company.

Because they rarely got to be close nowadays, they made sure every second their together would be spent perfectly.

"What are you waiting for, Min-ah?" Whenever he called him Min-ah, he knew it meant business. "You don't have much time left."

Minseok stared at Suho, heaving a sigh. He knew what Suho meant.

"Wait any longer, it might slip away again." Suho turned back to him and did the same with his kimono, smoothing out the fabric.

He then scratched the back of his neck. He knew what he was feeling now; he was sure of it, but he was struggling with the execution, especially since he had never confessed before, always letting the girl he liked walked away.

"Honestly, I like her a lot more than Rion." He could hear Suho asking why Rion was the choice. The man never complained or objected, but he did keep a distance, which was the exact opposite of what he did to Jayoung. "But it's your choice. I just hope that you'll do something this time. And man, don't make it harder on yourself, okay?"

They were now approaching Jayoung as she was laughing and chatting happily with Jongdae and Sehun who was doing a great job at barring anyone who looked like they wanted to talk to her.

"If anything happens..." Suho whispered to him as they were closing in on her. "Remember what I taught you, Min-ah?"

_Of course._

"It will pass." They said in unison, smiling at each other. Knowing full-well their brotherly relationship would be tested time and time again, they needed to learn to endure and wait for everything to pass. Complaining was not necessary. Good and bad things occurred however it pleased.

"Oh, ho~~ You're just in time, President Kim and Minmin." Jongdae winked at him which he didn't find comfortable at all. This kid should be at least discreet when his own boss was around, but he never got the memo apparently. "Come, here's your lantern."

He felt Suho nudging him towards the girl before turning to make a death glare at him.

"Oppa, here's your lantern and –here." A pen and a lantern she offered. Her red and yellow kimono really blinded him.

So it was up to you to write the loved ones you'd lost or pray for peace. He was sure that she would write for her sister, but he didn't peek at her paper. As he wrote his in Japanese.

_Don't worry, Soyoung._

He wanted to say more but then he ended up writing the same thing in Korean with nothing more to add. There shouldn't be much anyway. It could spoil everything.

And so they spent the evening watching the beautiful lanterns floating down the river. The warm golden light reflecting in the gentle waves of the water was almost as beautiful as her. Slowly the frail glimmers of hope and wishes drifted away inch by inch to a better future – one where he hopefully got to be with her.

Unknowingly, he tucked her hair behind her ear before realizing what was happening. However, he didn't expect her to tiptoe and pushed his hair that almost poking his eyes to his left side. The cherry crept on to her cheeks, but her eyes crinkled in pretty crescents as bright as the moon itself. Within a flash, he could see the four seasons passing by him effortlessly with her by his side; no matter how tough things were going to be, he was going to fight it with her.

"Um... I'm sorry, but I saw what you wrote. Thank you." The girl looked down, her fingers fidgeting and clawing at the silk.

When they flew back to Korea with Suho, Minseok snuck out of the first-class bed the moment she fell asleep to Suho's bed instead. Her hair hid her sleepy face in a beautiful mess. Her soft snores cut deep into his frail heart leaving shards of longing on the open wounds. There wasn't much room for them to move around, and the man definitely did not want anything to happen.

Suho chuckled when he saw the younger eyes almost fell out of his socket as Minseok laid down with feet to Suho's face and his face to Suho's feet. As much as he loved his brother, he certainly did not find the older man's smug face enjoyable to look at.

"No sleep yesterday?"

Minseok just let out a deep breath. That night he stayed awake fearing every possibility of things going wrong even with Suho's advice in his arsenal.

"Like brothers, like- ... brothers..." he needn't look at the older to sense the same drowsiness he was feeling hindering his ability to use proper words.

"What's up with you?" sleepy Minseok asked.

"Accidentally stumbled upon a scary jump scare video – I'm haunted forever..."

This was just a two-hour flight back to Korea, but because of their boring working habits, any type of transportation that they could fall asleep in between the start and the destination was long and boring. Without knowing, they fell asleep mid-sentence talking about food. There was no denying that Japanese food was one of a kind; it was hard to shift from a regular Korean meal to constantly chomping down plates of sushi.

"Maybe... I could bribe Jayoung into making food for me at work..." Suho unconsciously mumbled as Minseok imagined the girl presenting all the meals for them.

_A great idea!_

"That would be fun at work..."

"Oh, god. There you are." The smaller voice jolted both of them awake. Jayoung hugging her pillow staring questioningly at their sleeping position. "What are you doing here?"

Luckily, he faced the other way, or else she would have seen his horrible dead eyes. It had never been a problem for him to look indecent in front of her, but now, everything changed. A small mistake equated to the worst offense of embarrassment he couldn't handle. Misuse of a single word would keep him awake at night, thinking of the consequences.

_Should I go talk to my therapist?_

An unhealthy amount of this girl might actually mean being skyrocketed into the sun.

"Talking about important- ah..." a single teardrop fell from his eyes as he yawned into oblivion.

"I thought you jumped off the plane."

What surprised the two brothers was she actually laid down on Suho's left side parallel to Minseok. The girl faced the other side, favoring lying on her left. Now, Suho had to deal with two pairs of feet as his face was sandwiched in between.

"Why you insolent children disrupting my sacred power nap..."

Although she had her back to him and Suho was whining how disrespectful their feet were to his godly handsome face, it felt as if he could still tell that she was worried. He thought back to the times when she was anxious about his well-being, lips twitching into a smile.

Minseok must admit that he might have taken his brother's and friends' emotions for granted as they were mostly concerned with him, yet he couldn't deny the fact that her attention meant a lot more to him than the rest.

_Now, how will I seamlessly drop the 'L' word?_

_Without her freaking out..._

Then Suho's words came back to haunt him. His soft stare turned blank, his brows furrowed, his breathing heavier and slower. His rosy blooming heart would wither without the presence of her jolly-angelic-self. Minseok then turned away, his face now gazing into the dark sky above the ocean through the tiny window; a melancholic silent cry from his dying heart.

_Before I run out of time._

🌸

🌸


	2. Chapter 2

🌺

🌺

"Oh~, ~ Our Yongyong is so good at chopping and cutting now." Kyungsoo cooed at her efforts as Chanyeol nodded excitedly.

"True! True!"

The old Chef had given everyone a one-week vacation just as Jayoung arrived in Korea and before they could take off and enjoy their vacation, they had convinced the girl to cook for them, which was certainly a nerve-wracking experience since she hadn't been practicing during her trip to Japan.

Chef had tried to reassure her that spacing practice time could also help with the improvement; the rest she got was essential for the training, but the dread was still brewing in her heart. The eyes of the onlookers filled with awe while she was cutting up vegetables and meat were certainly not helping.

_God, these are world-class chefs and they think my knife skills are out of this world... they really need to get out of the kitchen._

Giving these men some time to refresh could be the best thing Chef had ever done.

"Don't worry. Just imagine you're cooking for me." Minseok sitting at the back blurted out with a fist in the air. The idea of just cooking for him suddenly added a strange context to her food when her head was starting to spin.

"Omo!!!" The old chef, of course, squealed at his words and hugged Minseok so tightly she thought he might have killed her husband. "You guys are adorable!"

_What?! No! I mean..._

All of a sudden, it was getting easier for her to address him as her partner.

The other chefs just laughed it off, and in a way, Minseok's words did do something to her. She remembered the first time she officially cooked in front of him and letting him watched her instead of just eating the meal. The eager look in his eyes when she let him smell some ingredients and the genuine interest to taste the results kept her awake at night.

She remembered the restless nights and early mornings she spent trying to get a recipe right. Obviously, the fact that the food kept running out wasn't because Jayoung and Minseok were big eaters, but since she needed refinement and the continuous onslaught of retrying was still haunting her to this day. And all of this for one recipe.

School was not doing her any good, but the cooking, no matter how difficult, no matter how many hours she had to spend just to cut an eggplant right, how much effort and focus it demanded from her, how much sleep she had to lose, how heavy the knife could be sometimes, how frustrating and tedious the recipe required, how long she had to stand, how stained her hands and her feet from the studious practice hours she had to deal with, all of it was worth it. The flow state she entered every time she picked up the knife. She could get lost in that hypnotic feeling forever.

_Could this consider as a cooking show?_

As she lost herself in the zone cutting the chicken meat into thin strips to them for a normal chicken Bulgogi meal, her eyes zoomed in on the meat on the cutting board. The onions and garlic she had to work on. Normally she would make this for one, but there were seven grown men; she had to come up with a new equation to keeping the taste balanced.

The girl almost cut herself a bunch of times; luckily, no one noticed and since Chef was all the way back chilling with Minseok, he couldn't see the tiny piece of skin fell from the side of the knife. Luckily, it was the garlic; it wouldn't have been a hygienic problem. Of course, thanks to Chef, she knew how to properly use the right kind of pan and care for it the right way; she didn't come across much hassle when prepping it for meat and oil.

As she finished up preparing and cleaning the messy bits and pieces on the plates, one by one, she served the food for the grown men who were applauding her feat.

"Sunbae, you're not helping..." the over-selling was making her cringe at herself and everyone around her. However, she couldn't keep frowning at the adorable grown men's faces light up at the food she made. Deep in her mind, she was so grateful that she'd found herself amongst these great people who were always cheering her on.

"Wow." Tao stared at her blankly when he had a mouthful and didn't say anything more, continuing to eat as if he had been starved for days. She wasn't sure if he really was excited about her food or if he was just hungry, but the girl was happy nevertheless. Meanwhile, Kai was impressed and nodded at the food with an okay gesture motioned to her.

The fact that she could satiate a person's appetite with flavor and joy was her ultimate goal. And nobody other than Chanyeol could express it better. Honestly, she had seen him with his big eyes almost bulging out of his sockets, and it amazed her that he could actually go beyond that. "Wah, compared to the last time, this is so much better! Not that the last one was ... terrible or anything... it's a lot more.. well, refined and intense,"

"He's right. You still have a lot to learn since you're only starting, but seriously kid, the improvement is so apparent. No wonder why Chef is so proud and happy these days." Kyungsoo hummed in his seat, his arms resting on the table, his mouth chewing slowly to absorb and detect anything different, telling her the points she needed refining. "Maybe, you haven't prepared a big meal before, have you?"

Jayoung let out a sigh of awe at the doe-eyed cook as he simply stated the fact.

_Chef is really good at picking the best... So honored._

"How did you know? I – mean, of course, you know, but ..."

"The seasoning is little off, but to the untrained tongue, one might let slide or not even noticed at all." Kris sunbae calmly added as he leaned back on the chair. "Still very impressive."

"I'm the best after all." Chef then crossed his arms and looked at Minseok, who also gave her a thumb up with a smile. She knew what Minseok would say. He said the same thing every day; she thought that at one point, it was going to sound redundant and dishonest, but he never once did. Every time he complimented her, it felt foreign and new. It could never get old.

Having the restaurant to herself and her close friends and mentors .. and yes, Minseok, who was a very confusing corner in her mind. This feeling. This atmosphere. This place where everyone just enjoyed a good meal and hung out. She was going to treasure this place. This moment. And every moment onward.

"As usual, you were amazing." The man said it as if it were normal... and although she loved hearing it, at the same time, she found it hard to believe. Nevertheless, her heart beat at the words, her face lowered, her lips sucked, her eyes looked away watching the houses and streetlights passing by as he drove home in the night. "Wanna do some grocery shopping?"

"It's okay. We still have plenty of ingredients." They hadn't exactly eaten everything up before going to Japan. The thought of going shopping excited her; she still wanted to say something.

Usually, this man didn't stay when she was cooking or training with Chef. Very rarely that he stayed and watched her learn. The same thing he said.

_"Work. The office needs me."_

He did say that weekends were his days off, but he never acted like it.

However, this month he just staying behind a lot more. She did appreciate him being there for her, yet she still got this unnerving feeling that she was just dragging him down. Did he leave work just for her? Wouldn't that affect his performance? It was denying that she was flattered by the gesture. Just the thought of having his eyes on her was enough to stir her emotions – the butterflies bumping in all the wrong direction in her stomach.

7:50 pm.

It had been three days after they came back. She was reading and finishing up her homework and school project. The short essay about a short poem in her Korean literature subject.

_**The Sound of The Rain – Ju Yo-han** _

_Rain is falling, the night quietly spreads its wings._  
_Rain whispers in the garden like chicks chirping secretly._

_The waning moon was thread-thin, like spring flowing from the stars, the warm breeze blew._  
_Today, rain falls on this dark night._

_Rain is falling. The rain falls like a sweet guest._  
_I opened the window to greet it, but hidden in the whispering, the rain falls._

_Rain is falling. In the garden, outside the window, on the roof..._  
_Like unknown good news, the falling rain enters my heart._

_Something about unexpected love?_

It was a perfect time to present this to class as around now unexpected rain showered down the city once in a while before the rainy season could properly set in.

Jayoung tried thinking long and hard about the meanings and their implications. Her teachers had given her the tools necessary to analyze the language used in Korean poetry. She was struggling to understand all of it, but she knew she could get it done.

_Unexpected good news? Or anything good could happen if you just open the window - or in this case, it means to be open-minded – and learn something new, let something in?_

What was with the 'sweet guest'? Did she get it right? 'On this dark night'? Did that mean that the rain was good things and it happened just when things were bad, which were called 'this dark night'? Was 'this dark night' an emotional state of the author? And 'Hidden in the whispering'? What did that mean?

As she banged her head against the table, hoping that anything – anything at all could enter her mind and give her all the answer, entered a very disheveled Minseok let out a loud sigh, making her squeak and fall off the couch. Jayoung was clearly shocked at his sudden entrance.

"Oppa!!" the girl shouted angrily at the man who was at the moment soaked in rain. What was up with this man and getting soaked in the rain? He had a car for crying out loud! "What are you doing!?"

"What?!" she was surprised at how high his voice could go without cracking. "What do you mean by that?! I'm home!"

"Yeah, but –" she turned to clock. She was sure that she wasn't hallucinating. "It's 8 o'clock."

"So?" she wanted to get closer to him and help him take off his soaking jacket, but she stayed still, not sure what approach was best.

All of a sudden, Minseok decided to take off his damped grey jacket before she could react when she realized that he was wearing a very thin white dress shirt. The water clearly didn't help as it only perpetuated the sculpted muscles he had underneath. She could see every outline, where biceps started and where they ended.

This came at her harder than a brick. One could say it was a tsunami of body goodness as she nearly went lightheaded at the sight of the six-pack abs she never knew he had. All this time, she thought he had a chubby build, but now she knew. It wasn't the fat that made him look big; they were true muscles. So the sweaters and jackets he'd been wearing while hiding all of that?

_Could it be..._

No, she shook her head. She read too many vampire and werewolf fictions. She should stop picking weird romantic books seriously, but the urge to poke at the hunky man's body was strong.

"You're way too early..." she breathed out in a dazed. Of course, she wasn't afraid to tell the world about her teenage hormones. She was proud of it, especially after Minseok helped her be comfortable with her woman side. At least, she didn't have feel shame when admiring a man's body. This was one of the few qualities she was comfortable with for a long time even without Minseok's advice.

"What? Is that so wrong?" the man let out a huff, facing her – not knowing his own body was kind of revealed to her and setting the fireworks in her head off.

"no.. no.. just... I'm surprised, you know. I haven't um... cook and –" Jayoung tried clearing her throat, but no matter hard she tried to tear her eyes away from Minseok, she just couldn't. It could be the last time, who knew? She was going to save it in her memory.

"You're not happy to see me, are you?" The tone in his voice shifted and he turned away walking to his room.

That obviously woke her up from the trance. What was up with this man? Being moody out of nowhere? Rare occasions when he was the one with the overflowing emotions and outbursts.

"What? No? I didn't say that. Oppa? Oppa!"

She tried yanking his arm back, praying that she had enough force to move those perfectly sculptured stones, when she stepped on something wet and, of course, instead of Minseok turning to her force, she ended being the one pushed around. The man was basically a wall. That was also the moment she remembered that he was soaked as well.

Fortunately, his reflexes were a lot more forgiving than his current state of mind, and he automatically caught her in his arms. His knees hit the floor due to the slippery floor. Her body rested entirely on his lap, his arms wrapped around her. Wearing sweaters and thick pants really didn't help with the increasingly burning situation. Her hands responded by clutching on to his biceps.

It wasn't long before Minseok realized what was happening and awkwardly helped her up.

For a second there, she wondered if she had brought his face closer and had her arms behind his neck, embracing him in a more intimate hug, what would have happened?

"It's honestly..." the girl timidly beamed up at him, recalling the poems in her mind. "A pleasant surprise."

There was an epiphany moment she achieved in her mind when Minseok couldn't hide his smile and slowly wrapped his arms around himself, finally noticing his seemingly naked body.

_It was never a surprise. It had always been there this whole time. Hidden in plain sight perhaps..._

She didn't know what happened at work with Minseok, but she was glad that she cheered him up with her meal and coaxed into a much calmer state of mind.

The girl silently wished that she could do this forever as she watched him eat everything up, and she certainly wouldn't complain if she got to touch his muscles like that again, too.

🌺

He remembered the times he woke up to the deafening silence of this grey lifeless house. He wanted so bad to rid of the house, but he couldn't. He didn't have the power. Suho told him otherwise, yet he clung to the thought of disappointing his parents. They got the house for him; shouldn't he be thankful?

It took him a while, but the man finally realized it was better to sell it. His brother just nonchalantly nodded when he proposed the idea – of course, he knew it all along. The little brother he could read so easily.

These days were unlike the other, for he woke up to a lot of metal clunking and shuffling downstairs. The man had been through this for quite some time since Jayoung showed up in his life, but it was so sudden, he might still need some time to get used to this welcoming environment.

Stretching to his heart's content, Minseok brought his hand to rub at his eyes when the gold of the ring blinded him.

_Right._

He was still wearing it.

Days ago when the girl had to cook for the guys before the vacation thing, she took it off. He never saw her put it on since.

_She was cooking - she can't just put it on..._

He wanted to be angry so bad, but he couldn't. That innocent face.

A knock caught his attention. As he was still dazed from his sleep, he took his time to get to the door.

"Oppa, here's your..." Jayoung still had her apron on, her hair tied into a small bun, and looking at him weirdly. The girl had a tray of sandwiches and medicine for him. "Uh..."

He followed her eyes that were trailing down and suddenly he found out that he didn't have a shirt on. A cough left his lips while he tried not to let out any other snickering noises. Normally, he wouldn't feel that confident showing off his body, quickly tried to cover it up whenever he could; however, it seemed like she was enjoying it more than he thought she would. Such a perverted girl.

"Thanks." He took the tray and Jayoung shook her head staring up at him once more, her face burning red.

"Um, uh, don't want you to catch a cold again, so.. that's some abs... I mean, Vitamin, for you. Of course. Ahahha~~" Jayoung, out of nowhere, bowed at him and stepped back, tripping on her heels. "Omo."

_Aigoo, so cute._

He caught her again by the arm before she fell back on the flat surface while his other arm managed to keep the tray balanced. "You know, I would have gone downstairs either way. You needn't have to do this." He didn't mean to sound ungrateful. It was just unnecessary for her to bring this up to him. He was going to watch her cook anyway. Wouldn't miss it for the world – not anymore.

His pleasant mood was shortly interrupted when she frowned and yelled at him, which was completely out of her character. "What? I can't do it then? What do you want? AH!"

Minseok tilted his head at her grumpily stepping down the stairs and stomped to her work station. "Eat the sandwich. Don't want an empty stomach with that vitamin!"

The sudden loud chopping sent shivers down his spine.

_Wait, that's just salad... Why is she using that huge cleaver knife –_

_Oh, dear God..._

How could he forget that this girl was getting better at her knife technique?

_What did I say? What did I do?_

The thought of that knife landing on his back wasn't too far off from reality as Minseok quickly closed the door and tried to shake the nervous feeling off.

_Cute, but certainly deadly._

Then, he thought if it was worth exchanging his life with living with her.

_Well, you know what? Everything about her is worth it._

He smiled confidently at his thought, cheeks blossoming as he thought of the possibilities. However, the moment the loud chopping pierced his ears once more, he squealed, thinking of better ways to live his life.

The words of a close client of his came back to him quite clearly after they had finished that outdoor meeting.

_"Congratulations on the-"_

_"Proposal," Suho added, winking at Minseok._

_"Ah... she seemed very polite but young..." the old woman trailed off, but there was no harm in her words as her eyes crinkled at the girl from afar. "You're going to have a hard time dealing with youngsters. Trust me."_

_Suho and the others, of course, just laughed it off at the double meaning of the words._

She wasn't wrong obviously because Jayoung didn't talk to him the whole morning. He thought having to deal with Rion's nagging was hard, but apparently not talking was even worse.

_Oh, no... I should have just shut it and take the damn thing... ah..._

"Aish!"

"Hey, hey, no need to be rude, buddy." Jongdae leaned back and frowned at him. Minseok remembered that he was at work again and having lunch with Jongdae. Luckily, he didn't have to join his co-workers' lunch break; that would have been unpleasant. "What is it?"

His shoulders slumped, his eyes hallowed, his lips could barely move.

"What? Lovers quarrels? Is that it?" Minseok's ears perked up at that. "I knew it."

"Well, it's weird. I mean we've fought before... sort of, but this was..."

"Ay... you guys haven't fought before. Those times were just... I don't know what to call it, but I wouldn't qualify them as fights and such. Tell me what happened first."

Jongdae's face looked like he lost all faith in humanity when Minseok explained the whole thing, making sure to leave the half-naked part out of the story.

"You knew what's wrong yourself. Why didn't you just say sorry?"

"I don't know! I freaked out. And she still had that cleaver in her hands! I don't want to be turned into a recipe."

"Ah~~ The anger of a teenage girl." he watched his best friend leaned back in his seat while he sipped his tea. "You're screwed."

"Oh! Come on! I'm here for advice."

"You want advice?" now sounding frustrated, Jongdae put his mug down and furrowed his brows at him with such intensity he thought he was being burned alive. "You've drawn this thing out way too long. I can tell she's tired of it, too. Just say something to her."

Minseok stared blankly at Jongdae as if he had the most ridiculous thing ever. "You mean.. um.."

"Confess! Just say it! You can't even deny it anymore. I don't know what happened back in Japan, but just – You idiot! Just say something!" his fingers then gripped his hair, pulling them in frustration. "What is it still holding you back this time?"

Minseok stayed silent for a while before whispering "2017..."

A look of recognition dawned on Jongdae's face; a split second of sadness run across his features when the passion in his words intensified. "Well, then what are you waiting for? She clearly cares for you a lot just as much as you do for her."

"You think so?" Minseok knew that fact, but the other parts of him still refused to believe it. Of course, she was worried about him, but what for?

"Dude, she made sure you didn't get sick. It's – you have no idea, do you?"

"What?"

"That she has feelings for you, too?" Jongdae said it as if it was a fact.

"What? She was just worried."

"Worried enough to cook for you every morning? And every night? Even though most of the time you end up not eating it because you're so – _tired –_?"

This time it was Minseok who leaned back and let out a deep sigh. A sense of guilt and happiness hitting in all directions. While he felt bad that sometimes, he couldn't put a spoon of her food in his mouth, he felt just as happy to know that she cared enough to cook for him.

"Look up the meaning of home-cooked food on the internet on your own. For me..." his best friend made that face every time he messed something up or when he didn't get something through his head. "I just know you two are way too caught in your own worlds... one of you needs to say something before it's too late."

Minseok hadn't thought this far when his feelings confirmed everything for him.

"And by _one of you_ , I mean _you_."

That day he made sure he got back home early. Maybe if he bribed her with his presence, she might bend and say something.

"Wah... Oppa. It's 7:45 pm." The girl called out the clock for him when he entered the house, which was alarming. Why did she keep telling him the time?

"Oh, I finished up early today."

What surprised him was the food on the table. They looked particularly well-prepared – not that previous meals weren't properly present, he just felt that there was quite a refinement to it.

"Tomorrow, I get to cover Kai Sunbae's spot again. He called in for a four hour late."

"That's amazing, but... you still have school and everything..." He also noticed that she was a bit dressed up, too. Her hair seemed straightened out and she looked like just she'd gotten out of the shower with that rosy fragrance he couldn't mistake it for another.

"Oof. Don't worry about it. I'll just take lots of nap." Jayoung was now beside staring down at him almost accusingly. "Your jacket?"

Clearly, even the most mundane and boring task of taking his jacket off every time he stepped inside his house was forgotten. This girl could really put a spell on him. A tuck at his neck and before he knew it, he let her hands guided his arms out of his jacket while he was still sitting there in his chair star-struck at what just happened. His eyes followed her as she hung the piece of clothing on the rack near the entrance.

"Right, I wanted to talk to you." _When did she get professional of a sudden?_ "It's extremely worrisome that every time I see you, you are either out of stamina or floating somewhere with that bloodshot eyes of yours."

The sentence ended abruptly as she seemed to rethink her words. What was it she was about to say to him? But his attention was now on her slowly closing on him, her stare analytical.

"I'm trying to make sure I make healthy food, alright? You can only go so far with working this hard and not eating much in compensation."

"But you always make healthy food for me..." Which was true. The things she had cooked for him these months were mostly of the right amount of rice, vegetables, and meat. Even if she herself hadn't been keep track of her past food, he did. After all, how could he forget such precious meals cooked for him?

"And you still don't look any better. Well- the um..." she sat down next to him and prepared the plates for him. "From everyone I met, they told me that you look better but to me... you're still a little skinny and – I'm not sure, but a few times, I caught you not sleeping."

"But –"

"No _Buts,_ Mister." The girlfrowned at him, her lips drawn inward slightly making a hissing sound, which was adorable and scary at the same time. How was that possible? "You can't get sick on my watch – at least not too sick..."

"Ohh..." he wanted to say something about that, but his jaws slacked when he saw that split second of pain in her eyes. The girl lightened up once more and pushed the food she had prepared before him. "I um,"

"Ne?" she did her own plates and finally dig in the food before he could say another word, making her feel slightly disorientated. She usually sat across the table, but there she was, right beside him.

"I'll wash my hands first, is that okay?"

Very different indeed this girl. What had gotten to her mind this time? It wasn't like he wasn't enjoying this newfound attention she was giving him, but a part of him thought that this was unearned, and it seemed extremely out of place.

"Right, tomorrow, don't forget to bring your lunchbox with you."

"Ne?" At this point, he was dumbfounded at her sudden initiative.

"I just thought maybe it'll be easier for you to eat, plus hearing from Chef that you find a lot of other food unpleasant and flavorless. I don't want you to hate eating, you know." _She's only being worried, right?_ "Oh, I almost forgot... tomorrow, if you could get out of work early, come to the restaurant. You haven't seen me handled the situation yet last time. I thought I could show off a little."

Minseok first assumed that he had everything planned before coming back here; on the other hand, Jayoung had managed to stump him every second now that he forgot what to even say. Eyes crinkled with awe as he finally laid his eyes on the meal below him. The same Kimbap and seaweed soup as usual along with some delicious-looking Bulgogi, yet he sensed a difference in these dishes, and the moment he bit into them, his heart fluttered with warmth and joy. She had gotten so much better. Or maybe was it because he loved her so much right now that even the food tasted impossibly delightful?

It felt way too domestic. It was as if they had been doing this for years, but really they hadn't even started properly yet. Was she doing all of this because she felt the same? Oh, the idea of this girl returning the same affection had him on edge.

A curious little thing when he was washing the dishes and she offered to help, which was seemingly inefficient due to the small space, but he wasn't complaining. From time to time, she would lean close and grab a dish on his side, brushing against his side. His brain certainly found this to be extremely tempting.

She was acting like a real wife to him because this marriage to him had always been a kind of fake one no matter how real the ceremony was; it was still a forced marriage to him, and it haunted him to this day and even more so when he fell for her.

He wanted to pull her close and keep her to himself. The one who was able to bring his slow and immovable world back into a spin. Every day he found it easier to wake up; although the workload was huge and it wasn't always sunshine and rainbow on the other side, he could always come back to her waiting for him keeping him afloat in such a busy and ruthless world. She was like a crutch to his limping soul. The support he never thought he deserved. 

"Jayoung-ah?" Sitting at his desk as she read her books on the windowsill in his study was a very good idea if he wanted to concentrate on his work. "I have something to tell you."

The girl simply looked back her eyes tired about to fall asleep anytime soon.

"When I have the time, I'll ... give you a heads up."

Yixing, Suho, and Jongdae all seemed to scream at him for being so stubborn and doubting every step he took. He felt like he was still trying to grow into the person she needed. Maybe, once he learned to love himself, he could come back to her. 

"I'm always waiting." The girl whispered when he thought she had already fallen asleep. 

_Even if I'm broken?_

"I'm always waiting." She repeated the phrase weakly as the book in her hands fell on to her chest, drawing Minseok closer to her without knowing. 

Her eyes closed peacefully, her breath slow and steady, her frame shined under the moonlight. 

_When I'm ready, I'll be sure to call out to you._

🌺

The moment the bell rang, she picked up her things and immediately rushed to the library. With her recipe book in her hands, she picked her favorite spot right under the AC. Clearly, the librarians recognized her and sometimes even let her borrowed more books than she should be. The old people there had a soft spot for her. She wasn't sure what it was, but she loved reading and she wasn't going to let their kindness be in vain as she brought books back home to the windowsill and read for nights on end.

She wanted to touch some of Minseok's books too, but they were all too difficult for her to read at the moment. Maybe a little more time and practice, she would start eating up all his study.

She was listening to recordings of Chef again. This was what she had been doing all this time ever since Chef started lecturing her about cooking. Jotting down the important details she had secretly recorded, Jayoung kept her hands steady and made sure her handwritings were presentable. The girl never cared to write her lessons beautifully, but this one subject she would pour all her heart out.

A familiar light chuckle rang in her ears.

Of course, in this particular lesson, Minseok was with them going walking through the market and buying groceries.

That man was infuriating at most. She was trying to nice and considerate, but he had to ruin it. Slamming the fridge shut out of annoyance, she worked the breakfast with tension and anger. Oh, the thought of him on the chopping board was certainly a pretty one, but then how would she love him? Maybe, just cut off a few limps – that would be fine, right? He would still be alive, sure.

The girl shook her head. She wasn't on period, but this weird impulsive feeling was really tucking on her heartstring. Being angry at him wouldn't make her feel any better nor would dismembering the man.

And what was with the shirtless thing? Of course, she really wanted to cook him, but at the same time, she wanted to cook something on his abs.

Jayoung shook her head once more, trying to stop her mind from thinking of such strange things.

Either way, she was restless. These feelings needed some tending to or else she might burst. The girl then tried to focus on Chef's voice and went back to writing down his words. As the recording slowed to silence and Chef declaring the end of the lesson, she heaved a sigh. Chef had a lot to teach and her hand was getting tired. She looked at the audio file and noticed almost half an hour left. This usually happened when she forgot to turn off the recording and ended up picking up a lot of background noise including herself squealing at pictures of her cute idols.

_What? I need a break myself._

Before she could tap on the word, however, she saw a spike in the mostly empty audio file. Half an hour of nothing but there it was, a small sliver of sound. Usually, it was a loud noise, somebody shouting or just her exclaiming something, but she decided to check it out anyway.

It was Minseok. He was probably talking on the phone discussing work again. But when he said goodbye to whoever was on the other line, he went silent for a minute or two. Maybe that was just it; however, she still saw a few more spikes on her recording.

**"Is it too late for me?"**

The pen in her hand dropped to the floor. Her eyes frowned at the words. What was he talking about? When was this? Why didn't she remember him saying any of this?

**"Ah... I've never done this before..."**

Her mind was racing. This was recorded about a month ago. Where exactly were they when this happened? Every word he spoke sent her heart rushing. Rushing somewhere she didn't know existed.

**"Am I too late for this? Would you accept me?"**

His voice was so clear in her ears. Unknowingly she held her breath, waiting for what the man had to say.

**"You're so perfect and caring to me that it scares me."**

She didn't realize she was packing her things and rushing out of the library until a hand yanked her back from her dazed trance. Minseok felt the same. He did. The words were real, right? This was a month ago. All this time, he was already feeling something while she noticed nothing?

"Hey, Yong-ah, where are you rushing to?" Her friend, Hari, looked at her with concern and surprise.

"Him."

She was sure about it. Those words were for her, right? The end of the recording showed Minseok telling her that she was taking a nap for almost half an hour. The bench? They were waiting for Chef to show up again and she fell asleep. She couldn't mistake it for something else, no? No one in their right mind would say something like that and not feel something.

"What?" Hari asked still gripping onto her arm. "Wait, you're leaving now? There's still school –"

"Just tell the teachers I'm sick, on period, I don't know. I have to go." A few small steps tried to push forward when Hari yanked her back even harder.

"Your parents are here. They are looking for you." Hari spoke cautiously. Did she know about her parents?

"What?"

"Over there." The girl pointed down the hallway and Jayoung jumped away from their sight out of reflex. "Be careful."

"Thanks, Hari-yah." Jayoung gave the girl a grateful side hug. She didn't have time to deal with her pesky parents. Not now. Pretending to care? All of a sudden? It was obvious they were only here to take her away. Well, not this time.

Clearly, their car was parked in the front, so the girl booked it to the back of the school, making sure no one caught her and rushed to the wall. She took out a long string and tied her bag while she tied the end of it to her waist. She was used to this already. Running back and forth. In and out. With all her strength, she ran and jumped the wall, barely holding on. The tree branch nearby gave her enough leverage to push herself up on the wall. Jayoung then pulled on the string to pick her heavy bag up, slipping the shoulder straps on.

Slowly, she lowered herself down the wall with her fingers gripping the wall above her. She landed quite roughly this time, but her heavy bag acted like a cushion so her head wouldn't actually knock against the pavement. Blood dripping from her wrists but she didn't care. Scraping a little wouldn't kill her. Right now, she had one thing in her mind. Or rather one person. Minseok.

Off she went to the bus stop, but at this hour, there wouldn't be anything there to pick her up. She frantically called a cab. The girl vaguely remembered his company's name, but luckily the old taxi man knew where she referring to and she was on her way.

What would she do then? And what was this she was feeling? She could tell it was the same exhilaration she experienced the first time she entered Chef's restaurant, the first time she worked with Chef and her sunbae. So many things were going through her head. Her feet thumping against the taxi floor, her lips dry with anticipation. All this time, she had thought that he was only feeling bad and helping her out because he was just a nice person, which wouldn't have made her any different from those he had encountered, but this was something.

Standing in front of the tall building, she inspected and imagined where he should be working. She could see him talking, writing out of stress in a cubicle somewhere up there. She wanted to go there right now, but at the same time, she didn't know what to say.

She sat staring into nothingness at the nearby bus stop, listening to the recording back and forth like a broken record. That was clear, wasn't it? This was certainly his voice speaking to her. It couldn't have been someone else he was talking about, no?

And as if she was able to mold him out of thin air, there he was in front of her talking with Jongdae waiting for the stoplight to cross the road. She could hear Jongdae's words so clearly about them going to check a restaurant that had just opened this week. They were both lost in the mundane conversation they didn't notice her sitting at the back. He was this close now. Minseok just listened to Jongdae and nodding along whatever he said, his head staring straight forward looking left and right for vehicles.

Him and his ridiculously handsome suit. This man in front of her right now said the words she was hearing in her earphones. Part of her thought that this was a dream, but this was too real. She had been pinching herself this whole. She wanted so bad to jump and hug him from behind at this moment, but something was still stopping her. She wanted to see those words spill out of his lips – this disconnect of this stoic man before her and his sweet voice in her ears was eating her up. It could still be impossible. She didn't want to make any stupid mistake now.

His deep chuckles and his eyes crinkled with joy and laughter at his friend's words somehow had more effect on her now than ever before. Was it possible to be this happy just by looking at someone? She had never felt anything like before. A foreign entity drawing her in.

Her skirt bunched up in her hands as she watched him longingly while the man walked away, slowly disappearing into the crowd.

She then had enough power to stand up and followed them from a distance. They were in there sipping tea and talking about something. Even from this far she could see him being so dazzling. It was then he caught her sight and she looked away hiding behind the wall of the bus stop and sitting quietly on the long seat, shaking. Hopefully, she was far enough and that he wouldn't actually recognize her, which could have been disastrous.

"Miss, you're going up, no?" A young man beside her who had been standing near her politely poked her in the shoulder, motioning to the bus that finally arrived.

"Oh, yes, thank you."

All of a sudden, this house sent a chill down her spine. A different context entered her mind and now she was wandering in this house, thinking of Minseok.

She came across the fallen pink squirrel in front of the fridge, remembering it tipped over when she angrily slammed the fridge shut. The blue post-it note she had plastered on the back of the plushy was still there, sending back when she had left home out of shock and sadness of her sister and the truth.

**I'll be back soon. Don't worry.**

She had written. The girl picked it up when the paper fell off the back. It must have been worn out after so long. Kneeling to note, she noticed another thing at the back of it. This was certainly not her handwriting.

**I'm always waiting. Please come back.**

Out of the blue, she burst out crying. She didn't understand why she was crying. The handwriting was messy and quick. Had this been here this whole time? When? What?

That afternoon she prepared the best meal she could muster all the while she tried to not cry, which wasn't very successful. The slightest mess she made she redid everything all over. To be honest, she had never spent three hours making Kimbap. The dish was as simple as it looked. The bulgogi was certainly hard to pull off and the seaweed soup she had made put the right amount of ingredients.

7:45 pm.

He was here, looking star-struck at her unusual welcome. She certainly didn't expect him this quick, but she didn't mind it. Her hands worked his jacket off, she wished she could trace the nape of his neck and his shoulders right now, but she controlled herself.

Sitting beside actually helped the fact that she wanted to jump at him at the sight of his clueless stare.

"I'm always waiting," she whispered to herself. It was like a mantra at this point.

That night she found him sleeping just beside the windowsill. He was sitting there at her feet, leaning against the wall, eyes closed, lips softly snoring. And quietly, she joined him sitting beside him, her head resting on his shoulders, blankets covering the both of them.

_I'm here. You don't have to wait anymore._

🌺

🌺

She was sitting there in front of him, but no matter how loud he called out to her, she just wouldn't budge. The girl didn't notice his presence whatsoever. As the snow got harsher and thicker, she slowly disappeared into the night, flying away with the dust, no longer visible to his sore eyes.

He was brought back to his study with a stir, almost falling over to his left side when he realized that he had fallen asleep by the windowsill. If he wanted to keep making money, he needed to stop sleeping this way. The strain in his back in him like a sting with a loud satisfying yawn escaped his lips.

The dreams were getting a lot more intense and more vivid; it was bothering him. He knew they were just images forming in his sleep, but he couldn't help adding meaning to them, especially since it clearly showed him his true fear. He couldn't believe that the girl who showed up in his life for only months managed to imprint such a special place in his heart. When he thought that without Suho, he might not be able to go on, she showed him otherwise.

What was with the blanket? He didn't remember –

_This is Jayoung's._

"Be careful. Drive safe." The girl waved goodbye at him when he was about to leave. This would never get old; this warm feeling of being home and leaving for work. Never once in his life that he would be so excited to go to work just to hear her wish him a safe drive.

"Hol." Jongdae stared at the packages in front of Minseok. "That looks really good."

"Right," his friend's voice seemed to wake him up from a trance as he, too, was marveling at the feast laid out before him. "This is for you."

"Seriously?" He handed a particular lunch box to Jongdae and watched him stared at the homemade kimbap in a daze. "I haven't had this for so long. Not to mention homemade? Is this Jayoung's doing?"

"I tried to tell her that she shouldn't have made too much, but she said she needed to practice, so she would make as much as she wanted."

"Man, you're so lucky." Jongdae began digging in and pushed his friend to do the same. "If this doesn't sway you, then I don't know what will."

_Oh, I am._

Since yesterday, the girl was certainly strange. He didn't remember her being so productive before. A lot friendlier than usual. Not that he was complaining.

As he was about to dig in, he found a note just under the lunchbox.

**Don't choke on my delicious food. Remember to breathe.**

Minseok let out a ridiculous scoff and took a swig of water before he could think straight. Well, yes, she had gotten better at cooking, but to go as far as that? She certainly got that huge ego from Yixing. Of course, the Chinese chef had been practically screaming in his ears that his food was the best even when Minseok couldn't taste anything.

Finally, he was free from work. He sat there in his cubicle staring at the menacing clock ticking.

How should he do this? _There are many methods. All of which I have never tried before._

A letter of confession? _I might as well send my carriage and my escorts to her then. Too old fashion..._

A text message? _Easy, but extremely rude. Why did I even think of this?_

A speech? _I think I've said something similar to that many times, but... the words just don't come out right._ And he always failed to actually get the true meaning across.

A scripted speech? _I'm not going on a presentation, am I? If so, it would be the scariest one by far in my entire life._

_No, I can't... this can't happen... I don't think I can do it._

As he was tearing his hair out, Suho burst into his office in the loudest way possible. "Hey, brother? How are you?" that sent Minseok falling from his office chair landing on his back.

Why did he love his brother again?

"I've got word..." Suho stated after laughing at his brother's miserable attempt to pick him up and gave him a hand. "You're certainly going and – not sure when but soon. We'll get a letter."

"You don't have to remind me."

"I do _have to_ remind you. Have you said something to Jayoung yet?" When Minseok could only reply with a blank stare, Suho sighed and walked towards the glass window, looking at the many building in the city. "Never mind... oh, did you know her parents were trying to find her?"

Apparently, she wasn't at school yesterday but went home to cook for him, which Suho had no idea because her friend had told everyone another story that she was sick. Minseok, of course, decided to tell Suho about her parents. Without Jayoung's consent, he wasn't sure if this was a good idea to tell another soul, but he thought that Suho would be a good choice.

"But our parents married you off under the idea that she was willing... I mean – I know this was an arranged marriage, but I thought – you both agreed to it. What?"

"I was okay with this and I first thought she was okay with it, too, but I found out that her parents decided for her. Never telling her really, but she didn't complain. I get that she's not a legal adult yet, but she's only a few months off and old enough to make her own decisions."

The way Jayoung acted through the whole process looked deceiving really. It seemed like this wasn't the first time her parents forced her to do what she didn't want. And instead of directing all the spite to him, which was something that usually happens in frustration of the inability to defy one's parents, she just stayed silent and took it.

Minseok watched his brother's face went through a series of emotions and continued. "They hurt her. And I'm thinking about dealing with that first before I could, you know..."

"Oh, goodness... that's why you're so hesitant." Suho breathed out a deep sigh. The pieces finally falling into place. "What are you going to do?"

"Well, in a few months, she'll be an adult. I want her to live by herself. Maybe, get a place for her before I go. Or is living alone a bad idea?" The idea worried him, sending him in a tsunami of horrible scenarios that could go wrong. "I mean she could cook. She could take care of me and herself... living with parents like that clearly taught her a lesson."

Minseok was surprised to see his brother turning red. The older had always been calm and wise. The impulsive behaviors were a thing of the past as the man grew older with patience, but seeing the happy innocent Suho getting angry was never a great sight.

"I can't really separate them from her completely, but I can at least try. Maybe when she's better at what she's doing, she could prove them wrong." He could what his brother was thinking. Suho wanted to report it, but they both knew the evidence would be gone by the investigation started.

"So... all this time, you're saying that she's... " Suho turned to him a worried expression on his face. "She might be under her parents' influence?"

He couldn't look at his brother anymore. He had come this far, trying not to think of it, saying it out loud. One of his worst finally realized as Suho's words came jabbing at his heart.

So what if she loved him back... what then? What if she was confusing all of this for her anger and frustration? The illusion of marriage may paint all of these negative feelings in a strange light. And when he saw the way her father stared down at her for trying to stand up, he was stunned. If her choices were forced, it wouldn't be out of place that her emotions could be forced as well.

"Hey, hey, Min-ah, come on..." his brother kneeled in front of him, trying to find his eyes, just like how Minseok did the same when he was trying to comfort Jayoung. "You're thinking too much. Don't let that get into your head. I'm sure Jayoung isn't too far gone under her parents' spells. After all, you're helping her explore her true potential. You're surrounding her with strong-headed people, and I'm sure that's doing something positive to her."

_Is it? I want to believe so bad, but..._

"If she still loves cooking even after so much pressure from her parents, then I'm confident to say that she's strong on her own. Not bending to them completely, you know." His warm hands clasped Minseok's cold ones. "Soyoung took defiance to the extreme, but I think she must have taught her sister something."

That was one of Suho's biggest strengths. He didn't even need to listen to the back story and already figured out Soyoung's true intentions. The fact that Soyoung was willing to go so far as to get away from her parents was still chilling to him.

The first time he found out about breast cancer and her not want to receive treatment was something that went over his head. Minseok didn't think much of it. It was hard to cure an incurable disease that had spread all over. It would've only hurt her, but the moment he found out about the truth that she had willingly ignored treatment years before cancer got worse, Minseok couldn't move on.

The past three years were a blur of darkness and hopelessness. Everything was his fault, he felt like. At first, he didn't know about her parents' doing. Soyoung had always seemed so jolly and bright. Even the darkest moments didn't faze her, Jongdae claimed it so. The man had never seen such anger coming out of her as she did to Minseok. Jongdae, well, everyone, was shocked to find out her degrading sanity.

"Look, what happened to Soyoung isn't your fault. I know I've said this a million times all these years, but I'm your brother and you have to believe me. Soyoung may have been harsh on herself, but I know she wasn't harsh on Jayoung. She's still young and bright. And I have faith in you turning her into an even better person as she's doing the same to you, right now."

Suho gave him a side hug as Minseok seemed to relax and listen to him attentively.

"Plus, your time is coming... I'm sure you'll have more than plenty of time to think things through. You have to test things out, man. If she's truly feeling the same, I'm sure she'll be patient for you."

7:30 pm.

Minseok was on the lively sidewalk, slowly approaching Yixing's restaurant. The customers were crowding the place as usual; he could barely find a good parking spot. Of course, before he could even enter the place, the one girl in her chef uniform among the grown men seemingly squashing her caught his eyes.

The other customers were just as impressed and curious. They certainly didn't remember a girl in the group of elite chefs, and every time she came out to take their orders and clean up the tables, their eyes were on her. Some were clearly judging while some were genuinely fascinated by her presence. A female chef in the kitchen didn't really shock anyone's mindset, but something about being the only young and inexperienced newbie in this group of skilled chefs that understandably made some mocked her and some interested as to why she was hired in the first place.

Either way, he was glad that other people's eyes and thoughts didn't shake her one bit. Jayoung just smiled and even this far away, he could hear her welcoming and bright voice that set his mind at ease and made him feel at home.

It was then that she caught him staring through the glass from the outside creepily like that and the girl just ran towards him, ignoring the customers' calls at this point.

"Oppa! You're here! Come on!" His arm was yanked just as his heart was pierced by a pretty arrow-like her and the commotion rang out to Yixing, luring him out of his cooking dent to smother him with an insanely tight hug.

"You're here, my most prized national treasure!" this time, Jayoung held his hand, her small palms placed against his, sending shivers down his spine. Of course, she did drag him by the arm from time to time, but rarely did their bare skin touched. She had always caught him by his shirt.

"Hello, old man!" Jimin had recolored his pink hair to a blinding blenched white, reminding him a little of Baekhyun. Oh, no, Baekhyun was going to destroy him for not visiting. Minseok kept a mental note to bring Jayoung with him; maybe, he wouldn't get as mad when the girl was there.

"Oh, Jimin-ah..." He was pushed down to his seat near the kitchen to easily watch the drama that was in the kitchen, sitting in front of Jimin who was smiling like an idiot at what was happening.

"Only we get to eat her food. Feeling special, yet?" the boy winked at him when Yixing and his protégé left them to their devices.

"Really?" He did feel something stirring inside. _A special snowflake, me?_

"Yeah, I mean, obviously she can't cook for a whole crowd yet. Haven't passed that bar test her chef gave her. Something like that, she told me. But~~" leaning on his arm, watching his best friend working in the kitchen, Jimin spoke softly. "She's doing something exclusively for us."

His mind was floating elsewhere at this point, nodding nonchalantly to Jimin's words as Jayoung had him completely under her sway. She was so much quicker at chopping and maneuvering her small body under the other chefs. The girl didn't even complain about cleaning the dishes, having so much fun getting scolded by her sunbae and small little compliments along the way.

"You're so lucky. You weren't there at the start." Jimin started. "The first thing she cooked I still remembered to this day, Bulgogi... oh, god, was horrendous." The boy burst out laughing, tempting Minseok to do the same. "I mean tried so hard to a good friend, but at the same time, I was an asshole, saying that she clearly poisoned my food. But she didn't take any offense and asked if I could help."

The idea of her horribly failing the first time wasn't scaring him that much although the thought of being fed terrible food deterred him a little. Minseok let out a chuckle at Jimin's horrid expression as he described the many things she made him go through.

"Like I said, I couldn't help but being an ass and just wailed on her for forgetting the salt. Good god! So bland I thought my shirt could even be a better choice of food." He then recovered from his laughs and heaved a deep sigh of relief. "But I guess she needed to hear that she was a horrible cook to get better, and I'm so happy, right now that she's doing this professionally. The gap between then and now is like, _wah_ ~ super huge. She can finally make my favorite Bulgogi."

Minseok liked to imagine her struggling to get the right ingredient, stressing out in the kitchen, trying to get things right.

While he would have to go through the torture of said terrifying food, he would still love to be there at the start.

The next fifteen minutes were all about him and Jimin chatting, which he found to be surprisingly natural and comfortable. He was expecting some awkwardness between them both, but perhaps Jayoung constantly being in their peripheral vision was something that kept the conversation going. Stories of the girl cooking and just being her made him smile fondly and think back to the times he'd spent with Suho; the nostalgia hitting his heart like tiny arrows with a sting of the past.

All of a sudden, she came out, for the first time, serving her own food as a tiny chef at quite a famous restaurant or a 5-star restaurant as Yixing claimed. Barely hearing anything she said, Minseok was a little uncomfortable as she was right there waiting for him to take the first bite.

The spicy seafood noodle looked deliciously burning red and glowing with fresh vegetables along with the juicy shrimp, octopus, and a hint of crab meat. This looked insanely world-class. Minseok had tried everything on Yixing's menu and he was sure that this one wasn't in anywhere he remembered. Did Yixing make a new recipe and teach her that? Yixing was a generous man, but Minseok had no idea he was this generous giving away recipes and whatnot. Not much a mystery though. Seemed like everyone around her just couldn't help adoring her angelic presence.

The food was good, delicious, and tasteful, but he couldn't really articulate much out loud when she was boring holes into his face like that. Was there something stuck on him?

"Omo, your lips." Jayoung quickly and unnecessarily took a napkin and wiped his lips for him, which further made him tense and happy at the same time. "So, how is it?"

All he could reply with was a confused nod and a weird smile.

"That's a relief! Jimin-ah?" Jayoung relaxed her raised shoulders and turned to her best friends who gave her two big thumb ups.

"Our Yong is the best!"

"Chef! The recipe works! They say it's delicious!"

"I know! I'm the best chef – now, come back in here! The restaurant doesn't run itself, kid!" Grumpy Yixing was the best Yixing in his opinion.

"Ne, sorry!" Jayoung let out a giggle before waving a small bye-bye at the two.

_Dammit, she's too adorable._

Eyes were on her and the shenanigans did raise questions, but when he saw how these strangers' stares were doing nothing to deter her or disturb her thoughts, Minseok felt like he stood a chance. Maybe, Suho was right. She was still fighting. Young and bright, she remained throughout all the hardships, but there would be so much more if he got involved.

This was something he hated most about himself. He could never make up his mind. Always relapsing into bad habits, depressing thoughts. Just as when he decided to do something, that other part of him had to come out and obstruct all his paths.

_Just listen to Suho. I can do this. I should do this. I should at least give this a chance._

He slept in his room that night, staring up at the grey ceiling for hours before falling asleep. For the first time, he noticed that although it was a bad posture sleeping while sitting down, it was revealed to him that with her near, he could fall asleep sooner.

She shouldn't be in that study sleeping. She shouldn't be leaving the door open. Once in a while, he could make an excuse about it, but lying down with pillows and blankets just by the windowsill would be a bit odd.

They were married, they could –

_Stop, right there._

But his mind didn't stop. With the thought of her snuggling close to him, sighing in his embrace, he finally drifted off as the ideas of his abs slowly disappearing due to her unlimited supply of heart-melting home-cooked meals filled his dream.

🌺

She never thought she could get another opportunity to work with Chef and her sunbae. Although they were a lot harsher than the first time, she didn't care. She kept a mental note to not only learn to cook well but also learn to cook well under stress. Something she was certainly lacking. However, that wasn't the only thing that was lacking in her heart.

It was a strange feeling she got from Minseok. She tried to confirm it many times, but it seemed like he was slowly backing away. She wasn't sure why. Did she take too long to notice him? Was he no longer thinking of her? Were the words only mere words and nothing more? Or had she become boring?

"ah-" a splash of hard oil popped from the pan. The girl managed to quickly turn away, but her right palm shielding her face wasn't spared from the burning oil. Tears threatened to leave her eyes, yet she was able to bit her lips, her cheeks and cleaned her hands off with soap under the cold running water.

"Yong. Get me the rest of the cabbage in the storage room." Sous Chef Kyungsoo stated firmly as he kept his eyes on both his soup and his pan.

"Ne, Sous Chef." Her voice was wavering. Luckily, they must have dismissed it as she ran to pick up what was needed for the dish.

Finally, she got to wipe off the tears that were spilling from her eyes and soaking her cheeks. At this point, she wasn't sure if it was the burn on her palm or Minseok. He was getting a lot quieter these days and more distant. Did the words mean anything then?

Every time he drew back from her touch she felt as though something pricked her heart. She wanted to be angry, sad, yet every time she failed to go through with it.

Was he going to leave her?

After giving her all the things wanted, was he just going to leave her?

She had seen this pattern. She experienced herself firsthand. Her sister was always so happy before the cancer got worse. She was ready for her own death and she was just making sure she spent all her time left with her little sister.

Sous Chef's old uniform was drenched in her tears at this point. She just hoped it all felt like sweat.

It was hard to keep writing down the order at this point. Her fingers curling into the burnt area. A smile was hard to keep, and instead of letting out a seething gasp, she let out a burst of somewhat friendly laughter, a formal reply to the elderly couple phrasing her for her work. For a second there, the pain was gone. Her pride swelled and she wasn't shying away from enjoying every lasting second of it. She shouldn't be taking anything for granted. Minseok had tried this hard to push her here. She shouldn't be sad.

"Yonggiyong." Chef Kai finally showed up – his presence lighted up the room. Something about his strange voice and the wide handsome smile that set her confusing and turmoil mind at ease.

A warm friendly hug and the soft pats on her back she got from her sunbae made her wanted to cry.

Since the time she helped him cover his shift, Kai sunbae and the others finally recognized her as an equal – not in experience but dedication. Chef and Sous Chef had always got her back, but the others had constantly doubted her, thinking that she didn't care enough about cooking and she was only playing. None of them said anything out loud, but the stares and the awkward silence were enough.

"I see everything is going to smoothly as always." Kai Sunbae smiled at her with his hands on her shoulders. The regular customers were curious, of course, but the two of them didn't bother to care.

When he lifted his hand for a high five, the girl absentmindedly returned the gesture and let out a high pitched groan.

"Omo, our Yonggiyong-" quickly he took her to the chef's locker room and took something from his locker. "Here."

As Kai sunbae scolded her for not treating the burn immediately, she blushed at the care and thought he put into applying the burn ointment.

"Please don't tell the others. I don't want to make a fuss."

The chef nodded silently, respecting her decision, which was, on its own, shocking to her. "You can go home now. I got it from here." While Kai took off his jacket and put on his uniform, Jayoung did the opposite. "It's okay. Just leave it."

Before she could leave the room, Kai sunbae called out to her once more. "Thank you, Yonggi-ah. If you want, I can teach a recipe of mine. Seeing that you've done well covering for me."

"Wah~~ Really?" could she get any luckier at this point?

"Well, I wanted to keep it a surprise for your birthday, but I wanted to cheer you up a little." His words caught her off guard. While he was putting his stuff back into the locker, he breathed deeply, eyes with worry and warmth. "I've been through distress myself. I know you're not having it any easier than I am."

His hand playfully ruffling her head drew out a giggle from her.

"You're doing so well, Yonggiyong. I'm sure you'll grow to be a great chef."

Those words cut through all the doubts and worry she was having. Maybe not enough to cure her of her heartache for Minseok, but enough to make her keep going. Words like that from an amazing chef like him were everything she had wanted to hear, but somehow she still felt a shallow spot in her heart.

That night a renewed sense of confidence flowed through her. Her doubts about Minseok cleared only slightly, but that was certainly enough to give her hope.

A beautiful day.

A beautiful day for her to cook the perfect meal for him. And by 'perfect', the girl had wasted almost half of the fridge. If Chef had known about her perfectionist cooking styles, he would have exploded into a fit of rage. Jayoung honestly didn't want to waste food, but this perfect man needed his protein. Plus, it wasn't wasting if she ate all the leftovers, right?

She hadn't used sunglasses in a while and it was throwing off balance as she sat discreetly at the bus station. Maybe she should be at home reading and reviewing her lessons. However, her calling was here so close to her. As the girl scanned the whole area for Minseok and stretched her arms and legs out of exhaustion. One would advise that she should have stayed home on a holiday and spent more time cooking, but she couldn't help following Minseok around.

_It's not stalking if you're married._

She kept telling herself that.

It was then she saw Minseok at the entrance of the company. 9:34 am. He was getting close to a car, which turned out to be Suho's car. The brothers hugged each other adorably despite the many onlookers. How was she going to get her confirmation if she was just going to stalk him like this?

She swore the first time she saw Minseok in his suit wasn't as handsome as right now. These new love glasses she put on really hyped up her feelings. She needed some control, but it seemed like she was long gone at this point.

The girl was smiling fondly at him from afar when the woman that had always been close by too leaned into him for a hug. Her lips twitched a little at sight, but she let it go. It was fine. Minseok worked in the adult world, especially since he was the one with the social skills and attributes he had to deal with this. However, the woman never stopped touching him. She could tell. Laughing at his jokes, softly hitting his arms, and clinging on to him.

Right. The fact that he was good with the ladies, she forgot.

Slowly, her shoulders slumped forward. The girl took off her glasses and stared up at the sky. She just couldn't distinguish the friendly Minseok from loving Minseok. Or maybe he had always been friendly Minseok.

_Whatever._

She couldn't handle everything all at once. _Another day,_ she promised herself.

"Omo! Xing's child!" The bright and sunny Baekhyun suddenly appeared just before she was about to step up the bus station. "Fancy seeing you here!"

"Oh, um- ne, hello." Hopefully, she didn't look like a creep stalking her own husband.

"I'm here to see Minseok about something. You did, too, huh?" his arms wrapped around her shoulders. It was strange for a man to such a slim and feminine body build, but it did help not weirding her out.

"No, actually, I'm –"

"Oh, you haven't even seen him, yet? Then come with me!"

_Oh, good god._

At this point, she knew she couldn't escape Baekhyun's grasp, resorting to talking about her Chan and how it had been doing. He had grown quite a lot. "You're not busy, right? We'll go check out Chan together after seeing Minseok then."

They made their presence known to the two brothers. Minseok, of course, was shocked and pleasantly surprised? Certainly not because of her. He'd got that woman already. How could she a girl compete with a woman?

"Let's wait inside after they're done talking." Apparently, there was some sort of inspection from their clients' company. All the two could do was sit there and wait, talking about nonsense most of the time.

"Sunbae, you have really pretty hands. Do you even work?" Jayoung let out a giggle at the man's 'offended' gasp as he let her play with his hands either way.

"I would have taken offense if you hadn't said they were pretty." Such a noble gesture he conjured up. The girl simply smiled when he took her hands in his and kept the conversation continuing. After having to see Minseok being wooed by a lady, a comforting hand was much appreciated. Or else, she would have jumped on the back of that person and –

Baekhyun's fingers eased her tightening knuckles and brought her out of her murderous thoughts.

"Sorry, Sunbae."

"It's fine. I'm so handsome, no ladies want to let me go."

Jayoung could only glare at the snickering man. There was certainly a pattern with Minseok's group of friends. So much ego it was head-spinning for her.

"So, what are you here for?"

"Well, I was just passing by after um- meeting my friend. Group assignments ... gets annoying sometimes.." _He's not picking anything up, is he? Dear god._

But all Baekhyun did was a simple chuckle. _Yep, I'm busted._

"I wanted to talk to Minseok about the dogs. If he finally made up his mind to keep them in the house." Luckily, the man didn't press her about anything else.

"But I thought you can't keep pets in that house."

"Yeah, I know," Baekhyun stated as a matter of factly it was alarming for her. What did he mean by that?

It was then that Minseok finally showed up after their clients were gone. He was quiet at first but told them to follow him to his office where they could talk properly. Minseok looked like he was curious as to why she was here with Baekhyun, yet he never said another word.

She found it adorable that Baekhyun sunbae liked to swing their intertwined hands around like children. Well, the man worked with pets and certainly seemed like he was an expert in cheering children up. Moreover, that really helped calm her down in the place filled the businessmen and women and their professional looking persona around her. She felt so small, but Baekhyun was there, so it was fine.

"So are you going to keep the dogs?" They had been catching for a few minutes when Baekhyun asked the question.

"Yeah." A nonchalant reply, which wasn't Minseok at all.

However, Baekhyun sunbae didn't seem to be offended by his careless reply and continued. "You know what to do then. Don't keep them waiting for too long or they'll forget about you." She could have sworn he winked at Minseok and to be honest if she had been the receiving end of that wink, she would have flushed madly red. The man was just so charming and beautiful, she was honored to even be this close.

"I'm sorry I have work to do."

A split second of shock and disappointment hit her like a meteor, but she sighed a deep breath and clung on to Baekhyun, hiding her face behind him. As they excused themselves from his office, they were quiet on the way to the dog park.

What had happened? She didn't understand.

_"I'm sorry I have work to do."_

Those words were going to really embed themselves into her brain. He didn't want to see her, did he?

"Chan-ah, what do I do? Uh?" it was amazing how this cutie German shepherd remembered her scent and happily jumped to her arms excitedly. As she played and cuddled with the dog, she couldn't help but let her mind drift to Minseok. She had never seen him in such a stressful mood before. Maybe something happened at work? It wasn't her, right?

At home, she got her special recipe ready. The seaweed soup he loved so much.

12:03 am.

He wasn't home.

🌺

Chef questioned why Minseok wasn't the one to drop her off. In fact, she questioned the same thing. More than that. Her head spinning from lack of sleep. His missing presence burned an even bigger hole in her heart. This was certainly unhealthy. How could she stay focus on cooking now? What about school? Most of the time, she didn't even care for what school had to offer her, but now since the man had gotten all of her attention he decided to leave and made her this hollow. Unfair would be an understatement.

It was Saturday again. Days passed by quickly, but the suffering she had to go through was as if it never caught up – eternally in vain. In a week, she would be officially 18 or still 19 in her Korean age. She wished the year could come by and she could be 20 a legal adult; then, she could drink all of this nonsense into oblivion, burying it deep in most of her painful memories.

She never liked this forced marriage, but Minseok made it tolerable – actually more than tolerable.

"Look after the place. I'm going to pick up some ingredient." Chef hollered from the front. He was so sure this restaurant was in good hands. Well, he was right. At the moment, the fire was burning in front of her just as intense as the fire she had burning in her heart. Anything that tried to infiltrate this place, she swore she was going to had it scorched under her torch. "Be right back in a few."

The old chef muffled something in Chinese before finally leaving her alone to her frying pan.

She turned the stove off, shoulders slumped. That knife suddenly seemed to attract her weirdly. The urge to stab something was too strong. Why had Minseok turned her from an innocent girl to a murderous teenager so easily? She had always been so good at tuning her anger and tantrums. For a hormonal teen like her, it was a magnificent feat. This man just had to come into her life and turn the dial on her emotion, cranking it way up high.

_Chicken. Right._

Today, she had to continue practicing cutting the poor animal open. Being a chef required the individual to get down to it – no complaints. It felt like forever once she finished chopping the meat all the right. The pieces she cut off were still so jagged. She kept a mental note to herself – _I have to start doing push-ups or pull-ups, anything to keep my hands steady._

The strength she gained throughout this whole journey with Chef was unsurmountable to what she had expected, but she still needed so much more just to cut a chicken open properly. She had been marveling at her own arms. Veins were a lot greener. The size popped in her small arms and she could trace the lines from her wrist to her elbow. They weren't very big compared to normal standards, but to her, they were certainly gigantic. Months ago, her arms were like a straight pole – no bumps, weak and frail. Now, veins were slowly sticking out. Wrinkles were forming. Scars were taking place. She had slipped and cut herself. She even had sustained some burns from the flying cooking oil.

_I have to learn to control the damn oil better._

She had always forgotten to wear long sleeves when cooking. Only when she got to wear Sous Chef Kyungsoo's uniform did she understood the importance of long sleeves. _I'm so dumb._ The cuffs had to be pulled back a little though but not too much, Kyungsoo had reminded her. Kai added that she should always have all the first aids like ointments, alcohol, and bandages ready because things could go wrong very quickly as a chef.

Tiny creases appeared on her delicate hands. Her fingers were a lot more flexible - softer and rougher however she wanted it to be.

_"Take good care of your hands."_

Chef had reminded her. Scars and some missing flesh were fine but make sure all ten fingers were intact. They could look ugly and deformed all they wanted, but always make sure they were clean and sterilized before handling any ingredient.

_"You're feeding a person. One that you love and respect whether as a customer or friend."_

She never cared much about it at first, but now she never once took her arms for granted ever again. They didn't look too bad now. The scars and wrinkles were barely visible due to her fast treatments of the slip-ups.

The girl cleaned her hands properly before she went over to work on the vegetables.

She heard the glass door open, and there he was. Kim Minseok in his disheveled glory. His outer jacket he threw to a nearby chair and fixed his attire. The same shirt as yesterday he was wearing. How did he manage to still look handsome when his hair and shirt were all messy? She didn't know, but she knew that she couldn't handle it.

Jayoung kept her eyes on the carrots below, trying to ignore the strangely heavy steps he was taking. The closer he got, the louder she pressed her knife down into the carrot. She didn't want any of it. Disappearing however he liked, whenever he liked. When she remembered that she had done the same to him, the girl shook her head. _That didn't count. We both knew what I was upset about._

"Jayoung-ah..." she could tell he was trying to look for her eyes, leaning down from the other side of the counter.

"ne." a small muffled reply.

"Jayoung-ah, look, I'm sorry. I had to..."

Her eyes burned the knife below her. She didn't even know her chopping was getting so loud when all of a sudden a much bigger hand gripped her wrist, prompting her to drop the kitchen blade. The grasp was so strong she was lightheaded. She then felt his other arm snaked from behind and over her shoulders as her small body pressed against his. The girl didn't know what to think or what to say, shocked and paralyzed. It was a strange thing to discover the fact that the width of her shoulders was so short that he could loop his arm over her so easily.

There was a sinking feeling when she felt his face was leaning in from behind. He hadn't turned to her yet, but she could already hear his steady breaths which contradicted the rapid heartbeats of his against her back. The embrace she had been imagining for so long.

"I'm sorry. I was thinking about this for a long time, I –"

She wiggled from his grasp and turned back to face him, craning her neck up to see his surprised expression. There was a disappointing twitch in his frowns but when her hands sneaked up to rest on his broad shoulders, he looked relieved and lost all at once. She couldn't help but trace the pads of her finger over his exposed neck. So many veins.

A small hiss escaped his lips, but his tense shoulders finally relaxed under her touch and the man keened and leaned into her hand that tenderly stroked his cheek.

"Thinking about what?" his eyes widened, dazed at what was happening. His lips parted but there was no sound. She could tell he tried to speak, but somehow words failed him.

_So smooth..._

Finally, she got to touch his face. He had always tranced her with his innocent wide eyes look, and she had always wanted to run her fingers over him. Her fingers got to his brows trying to make them unfurl from the intense frown he had. Did this affect him as much as he affected her?

She could feel the hesitation seeping from this man, but she was glad he finally made up his mind and placed his hand just above her waist while the other lightly grazed her long brunette hair. His pointer finger stopped just underneath her chin, holding her up like an artifact to be admired. She didn't know how to proceed at this point. The girl hadn't really thought this through.

The girl could see his eyes. His dark pupils drawing her in while the bright brown of his irises put her under a spell. She could definitely get lost in these mysterious orbs forever.

The dry cracks on his lips really bothered her. She wanted to do something to moisten them again.

When her fingers meet his parted lips, the man leaned back slightly. "Jayoung-ah, I –"

"Oh, goodness! So much to do!" the old chef sent the of them flying in different directions. Jayoung was struggling to see where her knife was while Minseok looked like he was talking to someone on the phone. "Minnie! There you are! I thought you left the poor girl alone. Hey –"

Of course, Minseok had to act like he was ending the call, which made the girl giggled uncontrollably when he said something along the line of _"I don't what to say, bye."_

"What, Lay-er?" the girl didn't even bother to listen in on them at this point.

The arms that held her she could still feel them on her shoulders, her waist, her arms. The warmth of his body still engulfed her shivering body. His cheeks she could sense underneath her fingertips. His dry lips were embedded in her mind.

It was only after he was out of her personal space did she notice the ghost of the warm breaths brushing her cheeks. The crazy heartbeats of hers almost galloping like a wild horse. Her legs rigid, her neck strained, her arms limped. To be quite honest, it was a nuisance to feel like this and having to work at the same time. But she wasn't complaining about the feeling itself. It was... thrilling to say the least.

When their eyes met even from so far, she smiled at him – a knowing smile, a coy one almost. To her amazement, he seemed to be distressed at her actions and she watched him let out a deep breath from afar and pushed his shoulders up to perhaps stretch himself as he failed to keep his eyes on the old chef.

"Oh, don't worry about her. Worry about yourself. You look like crap. What the hell happened to you?" Chef blurted out and that only made her bit back her laughter. "You look like you're about to jump me. Do you love me that much?"

"Ew." Kris and Chanyeol sunbae finally arrived and put down the ingredients they'd bought with Chef. They sometimes came to the restaurant on the weekends to drop things off and most of the time ended up pestering her while she cooked. "From what I'm seeing right now, I think he wants to jump you to end you." Kris sunbae stated nonchalantly while Chanyeol sunbae tried to stop Chef from trying to land a smack on the taller man. "Oh, hello, Yongyong."

"Ne, hello, Kris–sunbaenim."

And the next two hours passed by so agonizingly slow for her as she was curious to see what could have gone further if she and Minseok hadn't been interrupted. While the sunbae in front of her was checking their phones and sometimes looked up to see what she was doing, Minseok and Chef were far back, and though she couldn't see that far or even leave her food alone to try to check on him, she sensed some difference in the air. To her, even air itself felt physical, putting distance between him and her. Perhaps the weight of his gaze pressed deeply within her psyche.

"Wah~ Yonggiyong! You seem happy today. What's with the mood change? – not that I mind." It was always Chanyeol and Kyungsoo sunbae who asked her about her days. The others usually tried not to get involved or most of the time didn't care.

"Do I?" the girl let a surprise gasp at his question. Was she too obvious? Then again, what was the point in hiding the fact that you were mad again? At one point, she was going to explode, so might as well let off some steam on the way. "Well, that's good then. I don't look like I've stayed up all night cooking and waiting for someone, no?"

Funnily enough, she could hear choking from all the way here. The man recovered from the sudden shade throwing and wiped the spilled water off his face.

"yah – " honestly, she didn't anticipate Minseok actually explaining himself then at all. "My car broke down! I wanted to tell you – umm ..." he seemed abashed at the particular point, remembering the distracted state earlier. "I didn't have my phone with me, walked all the way to the highway for a taxi."

She kept her death glare a prominent expression, which made him sat back down and turned Chef in a sulking manner. The explanation sent relief washing down her worries, but she couldn't look like she had let go of it right away.

Turning back to her food, she noticed the horrified look on Chanyeol's face who was clutching Kris's arms tightly. "Hey, can't you go easy on the knife? Omo, hyung, women are so scary... how did you even deal with your wife?"

"Divorce." The Chinese man replied casually, which had Chanyeol whimpered at his own mistake. If she remembered rightly, the man had questioned the other about his wife five times already and still managed to forget the detail. And it seemed like everyone else had given up on his intelligence. "Taking a break always works like a charm."

"Eh... I don't think that taking a break means divorce..."

Once she was finished with her food, the girl got dishes for four and served for Chanyeol and Kris Sunbae first before going towards Chef and Minseok. It was then she decided to check something out. To test her curiosity. A plate was placed before him, and with a swift move, she brushed her fingers against his exposed neck as if it just happened to be in the way.

And to her delight, his back straightened up – almost trying to get closer to her and he tried to clear his throat to play it cool.

_Oh..._

"Oppa, let's go home after, you're done." The girl let out a pleasant laugh when Minseok got a glass of water and gulped down every drop.

So, it was true. She might actually have a chance.

🌺

🌺

This wasn't the first time he got stranded in the middle of nowhere. Some of his clients were extremely nitpicking it was tearing his brain cells apart. The lengths he had to go through for these people whom he didn't even care about was baffling. A fact that was becoming apparent to him.

He tried checking the engines. The sunset was dawning and all he had for it was a tired smile. Minseok leaned against the hood of the car, thinking things over.

Jayoung. That girl.

For once, he was emotionally and physically tired of his job. A revelation that even he was shocked at. He'd been doing this for so long and now he was digging in his brain, trying to find an answer as to why now? Why only now did he feel tired, exhausted, and hopeless?

But instead of falling back into what was comfortable and expected of him, Minseok decided to go to the back of his car. He looked at his sneakers proudly and was taken back to the first time he had to experience the real-life that was the business world.

One of his clients lived high up the mountain and nobody said anything about mountains. Thinking it was a hotel, Minseok ended having to hike up the hills for hours with his dumb fancy shoes. He had always hated them. They were uncomfortable and never flexible. The only place he could step into in those shoes were clean offices, hotels, restaurants – not where he wanted to be.

Off with the shoes and with a smile on his face, he put on his sneakers.

It was going to be a long way to the highway.

The distance didn't scare him though. It was the destination that he was afraid of. Afraid of not reaching it.

And so, he ran at a steady pace – jacket and shirt on his arm.

He was going to be doing this in a few weeks anyway. Might as well get a head start.

🌺

They were sitting in a taxi, provided that Minseok lost his car to the countryside. She tried to keep her head straight, but she couldn't help peeking once in a while. The feelings were overflowing. It was almost impressive at the fact that she looked so calm while everything within her wanted to jump and scream at everything.

Minseok, on the other hand, just stared out the window peacefully in his own trance. The man looked like he was sleeping, lost in the night sky above, which she could understand. Tonight felt different. Everything was prettier to her.

She waited for him to finish up paying for the taxi, hesitating to go into the house immediately. This strange tension she had never experienced before. A kind that made you suffocate in a good way, which was insane. Stressing out wasn't part of her grand plan in life, but this kept her on her feet.

Finally, their gaze met. No one was looking away. At one point, she didn't even blink, almost daring the man to a staring contest, expecting him to walk past and act as nothing happened.

To her dismay and thrill, he didn't look anywhere else but her.

Each step he took towards her stirred the butterflies in her stomach and once he was before her, she could feel the stars raining down on them. Or particularly on her. The way he looked at her at this moment was something she never saw a man do to her, making her feel special like she was desired.

That emotion she was feeling at this moment what she had been chasing all her life from everyone, but no one cared until this man came along. She wanted it so much she reached out to touch his cheek and it felt as smooth as before. She wanted to make sure he was really looking at her.

"Oppa?" the girl whispered weakly, hand slightly trembling at the touch.

"Hmm." Minseok just hummed as a reply, eyes closed with a sigh of relief.

The moonlight really lit up his handsome jet black hair and drizzled magic on his facial features, turning this man before her into a real-life painting. The fact that she could be this close was surreal, making the whole scene look like a perfect daydream, sending her further into a spiral of confusion.

"What's... this?"

When his eyes opened once more, the girl felt so small and scared. The depth in his stare seemed so intense she wanted to run away and hide from what could certainly pull her in, yet she stayed still as if she wanted to be lost in those eyes forever.

"This?" his hand suddenly held hers that was still caressing his cheek and slowly he led her hand to the nape of his neck all the while his other hand snaked up to her chin, slightly tilting her face up. "This is what I want."

That had definitely plucked out her heartstring. This happiness. There was so much of it in one sentence it hurt her physically and emotionally.

"You're the one I want."

She tried holding back tears, but one escaped cascading down her face and she felt his thumb brushing it away so tenderly she felt lightheaded.

She waited for him to do something, but it seemed like he wasn't going to move anytime soon. His hand finally left hers, leaving it on the back of his neck. Was she supposed to pull him in? Couldn't he do himself? She wasn't sure if she had enough strength to even stand at this point.

As his fingers softly traced her jaw, she decided to draw him closer. She could felt his muscles tensed in a blink of an eye, but he never stopped her.

"I really really like you, too." Maybe she shouldn't have said anything, but it felt like it'd kill her if she didn't reciprocate the feeling.

Luckily, he didn't mind her words. Surprisingly, he relaxed into her touch no longer bearing rigid muscles under her small pressure. So close now lips slightly brushing as she could feel him smiling on her lips. Still, he didn't do anything, staying still, waiting for her.

Instead of pulling him in all the way, she tiptoed to close the distance between them.

As much as her crazy heartbeat was deafening her senses, the girl felt strange at this new sensation. She didn't know what to properly think of the way to appreciate what was going on. His lips were there for her for taking, but she fell stiff, not knowing what to do next after the initial touch. Her lips firm on his and with her eyes closed, she still wasn't sure if this was supposed to be right.

However, the moment he started moving, she almost lost her footing, but his free arm came to her rescue, keeping her in place. His lips so slowly pushing in on her was more than she could handle. She could tell he wanted to go further. She could feel it with his hand clutching and unclutching her shirt.

When she let out a small whimper, he thankfully drew back just far enough for her to breathe. She didn't think she could handle any more of this. Falling into his embrace, with all the strength she could still gather, Jayoung hugged him like she was losing him. Angrily pulling him against her, she wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream. And if it was, she prayed to God that this dream would never end. That she would never wake up from. That he would never leave her.

Minseok just took a deep breath and patted her on the back reassuring her. Just his heart beating against her was enough to get her high on this dream-like moment.

"It's not a dream, is it?" Minseok was glad to return the same desperate hold as he rested his chin on her head, arms holding her tight.

"No, it's not." His soothing voice setting her at peace.

"Are you going to forget this tomorrow?" she didn't want to say it out loud, but it was the ugly truth she needed to hear it herself.

His arms then ease her death grip on him and he drew back, looking into her eyes, hands on her cheeks. "Never. Until the day I die, I'm never going to forget it."

And when he leaned in to place an angel's kiss on her forehead, she believed him. 

🌺

He could sense his heart heal and shatter again just as fast.

He welcomed this embrace. This death-like grip on him. Her arms so small yet he couldn't actually move away if he wanted to.

He could feel her face pressed harshly against his chest wanting to hear his heartbeat.

It was way too much for him to handle the fact that she was doing everything she could to make sure this was happening. Slowly, her blunt nails were digging into his back, making it hard for him to breathe.

Words failed to form in his brain.

Whatever was happening at this moment – it hurt.

And when she clutched his shirt and pulled him even closer, he knew his heart could never heal again unless she was always right next to him and ready to keep it beating.

And it was going to hurt. A lot. When he leaves.

6:00 am.

He remembered the girl breaking away from him first and ran for the door.

The bathroom door was open when he got in.

Minseok couldn't get those small cries echoing the house off his head.

Did she know what was happening?

His face then flared up red, thinking back to the moment she attacked with another hug and a soft kiss on his cheeks before she slammed the study's door close.

Now that he was sitting in the kitchen alone and staring at the locked study, Minseok sighed to himself. She never locked this place before. Well, it was understandable that now she was locking it, but still –

"OH, WHAT THE?!" The girl jumped at his death glare greeting her.

Minseok raised a curious when she bowed at him and rushed off to the bathroom, avoiding his gaze.

_Eh? What's happening? Why am I feeling a lot older than I should be?_

His arms and legs were crossed. His suit was getting uncomfortable, but that wasn't really a problem when the girl showed with a shy gaze before she went on to check the fridge, getting ready to cook like every other normal day.

"Jayoung-ah?"

"OMO–"

Minseok had to actually jump away from his seat if he didn't want a cucumber smacking his face this early on a Sunday morning.

"Sorry, you surprised me."

"How?"

His question short and to the point, making Jayoung visibly shrug not knowing what to answer. It was weird certainly. He had been sitting here and she knew that he was sitting here. Why did she want to manslaughter him with a vegetable?

Returning the cucumber on the floor to her trembling hands, Minseok leaned back into his seat.

"Jayoung-ah, did you have a good night's sleep?"

Nervous laughter and a lot of flailing around later, Jayoung answered with a firm nod. "Ne!"

_Cute._

"Well, good for you. I didn't." Thankfully the nearby sink helped her spew out the water without making a mess. "I kept thinking about what happened last night. And I couldn't fall asleep."

Jayoung was drumming at her chest, trying to take deep breathes before looking back at him. Her eyes couldn't even stand his intense gaze for more than a second. Was she trying to run away? Now? She was the one who told him not to forget.

"Go- gotta hurry – school –"

"It's Sunday."

"I mean Chef! School with Chef –"

"It's only 8 a.m. We have 3 hours left. We need to talk. You're not even cooking."

It was true. All this time, she was picking things up and putting them down, looking around the kitchen counter blindly without moving on to start making a meal.

She was really making this harder than it was supposed to be, so he had no choice but to walk up to her, blocking her path and towering over her small frame. And when she tried turning around, he made sure to place his palm on her head and spinning her back to him.

"Jayoung-ah?" he kept his hand on her head, softly brushing her hair with his itching fingers.

"Ne?" a gentle whisper that almost made him faint at the sheer amount of charm she effortlessly gave out.

"What are you doing, running away from me like this?" he leaned slightly downward, trying to maintain eye contact with her.

But she looked down to her feet, her hands clutching her shorts, her voice smaller than ever. "I thought you didn't want it."

"Jayoung-ah..."

"I didn't think it was going to last."

How was that phrase deadlier than a knife rapidly stabbing his heart?

"Yah, Cha Jayoung!" His eyes glaring, his teeth biting his lips, his hands gripping her shaking shoulders, "What are you – I could never do that to you. I made it quite clear that I want you, didn't I?" Her face was reddening madly and he loved every second of it. "Plus, I should be the want doubting if you want me or not. It seems to me that _you're_ making clear to me, right now –"

Jayoung then quickly shook her and waved the statement off. "NO! No! I really like- love you –"

A stuttering statement that had him now blushing like crazy.

"I mean... Oh, whatever! I like you a lot, too! I just don't know if this was the right thing to do... I don't know. I'm still very ... shocked."

Finally, his heart was at ease again. He swore if she played with him like this forever, he would really get a heart attack, but then again, he wasn't really complaining.

"Aiyoo~~" bending down, Minseok ruffled her hair and placed a tender kiss on her forehead, making eye contact with her at long last. "Our Jayoung is so cute."

"Ay, stop that..." the girl then timidly hid her face behind her hands, unable to stop herself from giggling. As her shy fingers traced the kiss on her forehead, she smiled back at him. "So... what do we do now?"

"Well, I think we should..." he couldn't help flickering his gaze towards her lips, remembering the picturesque scene from last night. "I should take a shower. It's been two days."

Jayoung, of course, chuckled cutely at his sudden snappy self. He had to keep in mind that she was still new to this and he couldn't do anything that would catch her off guard.

It was then she almost sent him to the afterlife when she jumped into his embrace, hugging him like she owned him. Then again, he wouldn't mind he was hers.

_I'm hers?_

That sounded particularly nice in his head. Relaxing into her hold, he leaned forward to nuzzle up against her hair, breathing the life that was Cha Jayoung. Finally, happiness.

The doorbell rang, which elicit an involuntary groan from his lips.

It should be illegal at the fact she could untangle herself from him just as easily as she leaped into him.

"Sister!"

"Brother!"

"Yoohoo~~" of course, it was Suho. Why did he feel like want to destroy his own beloved brother so much? Minseok shook his head at the thought. Even if he wanted to get rid of Suho right now, he couldn't stop himself from smiling widely at his brother and Jayoung acting like children, jumping around at the sight of one another.

"Yah, my little brother, I have your car with me. Come on, let's eat out somewhere before I send you two off again!"

Obviously, Suho stole Jayoung and had her sit in the front with him, but that was the least of his concerns as Minseok felt the inevitable creeping up upon him. If Suho was here, that meant that it was time.

For now, he sat comfortably at the back and silently watched Jayoung talk and talk to his heart's content. He needed to remember. Remember what it was like. So he could have the strength to come back unscathed. She was like a crutch to his limping body at tough times, and hopefully, it would be enough to keep him alive.

There were times when she looked back at him and clearly, she was taken aback at his relentless staring contest.

The breakfast was more than eventful as Suho was making Jayoung flustered with everything Minseok. Minseok, himself, was too dazed to even function. Food should be in his mouth, and his mouth should be munching on food, and that should make him live.

But Jayoung was there and ready to hurt him with the slightest gestures like wiping the food off his lips, feeding him her food, and smiling at him, breathing next to him.

If he felt this happy to be with her, then it would hurt just as much when she wasn't beside him.

And he was ready to feel everything.

🌺

"Jayoung-ee?" Suho called out to her sweetly when the girl stepped out of the car. "I'm going to burrow Minseok for an hour or two, okay?"

"Ne! Take care of him well, oppa!" that smile and that cute little wave would be the death of him. It would be a nice death though. "Minseok-oppa?"

The word got stuck in his throat as he struggled to nod at her. She rarely called him by his name, so usually, when it happened, he felt blessed and happy to be alive. Sometimes, the only reason why he liked Suho being with Jayoung was that it made her address him that way.

"come here." She mouthed to him, and Minseok had to scoot over to the window, lowering it to hear what she wanted to say.

Again, the clouds in the sky were suffocating him once she suddenly leaned into him in the car, pecking his cheeks.

He could hear a high pitch squeal from Suho as Jayoung waved goodbye at him once more leaning away, leaving him dumbfounded and flushed.

"Omo! Jayoung-ee! Give me some love, too!" Pouting his lips, Suho tried his best puppy dog eyes. The girl then gave him the classic thumb and finger heart shape, pushing it towards him with both hands, and Suho was more than delighted to return.

Minseok sometimes worried if the company was in desperate need of a sane CEO.

"I love your lunch boxes! Send them more! Love you!"

Instead of leaving her to say goodbye to them, Suho didn't want any of it and made her enter the restaurant, wanting to watch her go in safely.

Minseok was somehow relieved when Suho didn't say anything about it. Curious eyes flickered towards him, but every time he caught them, Suho just did that precious famous eye smile of his and focused on the road again.

"I got a letter from your doctor." They were closing in on his home. It had been a while since he went to Suho's place – just big enough for four people.

The old maid came out to greet them with Soojin as his tiny kid just clawed into Suho's arms prying away from her, not caring about the world. "Soojin-omma went to the supermarket to get some more milk."

The statement made Minseok warm all over the place. Suho had picked the right woman to marry. Her position, her class was certainly not on point with his reputation but her stance on everything else was strong.

Han Ari, a woman that wanted her way. Clearly, the old maid was supposed to do the shopping, but the look she shared with Suho was enough to let him know that Ari was being Ari.

Minseok remembered as clear as day when the whole majestic villa that was Suho's was flown into chaos. The woman would not have her child raised by servants and spoiled by rich people's attitude, not really wanting to offend anyone (she offended everyone), but wanting only to take care of her child. Suho being the best husband he tried to be, of course, went along and sent off all his servants except the one trusted maid to his parents and relatives' places, making sure that his wife hadn't just taken away everyone's jobs.

It turned out great in the end. One would have thought that his rich parents would have overpowered the way she lived, but that was a grave mistake to think so. Everyone bent to her will like water. The new place was small and quiet, easy to focus, clean and clear, not filled with people ready to suffocate Suho with questions.

"Our Soojin has grown up so much, huh!" Minseok leaned into the small that was clinging onto Suho with his dear life.

"Xiu-xiu~~" the chubby kid just reached out and grabbed a handful of his cheeks, laughing hysterically as the kid did so.

"I agree, Soojinie. Uncle Xiumin has very cute cheeks." Catching him off guard, Suho leaned in to steal a kiss from Minseok on the neglected left cheek Jayoung didn't bless him.

"Yah! Kim Suho! What are you –"

A chase initiated with Suho running incredibly fast for an old guy with a baby in his arms and Minseok _trying_ to catch him for show as Soojin seemed to love it when his father won the chase.

"Soojin-appa!" the old maid called out – her hands held a few letters. Before handing them to Suho, she took Soojin away and told the kid to leave them busy for a while, promising that Suho and Minseok would be playing with him in a short a while.

The two entered Suho's office, sitting in opposing chairs.

"I love it when people called me that."

"What? Soojin-appa?"

"Ne~~" The sweetest tone in his voice had Minseok shivered and the fact that Suho was connecting his wrist together, turning his hands into dancing leaves while he was trying his best to be the bright sunflower was too much when –

"Oh, stop it. You look disgusting."

An unexpected pillow smacked against his face, and Minseok just couldn't help laughing at his brother. "Can't you be a lot more supportive? It's called being sensitive. Women love sensitive guys, you know."

"Wah~~ I can't believe it~" Minseok placed a dramatic hand on his chest, his voice unmistakably sarcastic. "I didn't think you'd stop watching those dramas. You know full well that women loved rough men in those stories."

"Well, my wife almost killed me a few times. I think that sends a different message about real life."

"Honestly, I'm surprised you're not under the ground decaying already. I'm impressed that you could handle Soojin-omma."

"You're not the only one. Eh~~ sometimes, I wondered why I married that woman again, then I realized that I love her and everything was okay again." Suho always looked so adorable whenever he talked about Ari.

Maybe one day he could do the same with Jayoung. Genuinely. Not forced.

"Anyway, your doctor called. Hoo, I don't need his words to confirm the fact that you're good to go, I mean – Cha Jayoung, if you had seen this girl, she's the one who brought you back!" Suho then tossed the doctor's report on his health. It was supposed to be confidential as Suho was the caretaker of Minseok, but Suho always revealed everything the doctor said to Minseok regardless of the consequences.

"Talking to him these past months had been... amusing really." He remembered being told specifically that his self-esteem went up a lot, but he still found it hard to agree wholeheartedly.

"It doesn't matter. I always knew you'd come back." A simple sigh left Suho's lips, which made him smile subconsciously. Something about his brother's sigh eased his troubling mind. "Here's the real deal."

Another envelope was slowly pushed forward him with silent dread.

"You'll still have to get another health checkup before they confirm it though I made sure we get the news first."

Minseok opened the letter and all the words seemed to blur into each other, piling upon one another. They were just horrible news dressed up in fancy words.

"Have you told Yong?" the silence was enough to send Suho into a soft rage. "Yah! Kim Minseok! You!" his hands tapping his knees uncontrollably.

"I'm trying."

"Try harder, dammit! You're about to leave. You can't keep doing this."

"Can I get another day?" Minseok looked up from the letter, eyes begging his mad brother. This wasn't hard for anyone even Suho himself. He knew the older was going through the hardest time, having to watch him going through all the process. "Just one more day?"

The longest sigh from Suho had him cuddly inside. Every time Suho failed to go through with his scolding was always a joy to watch.

"I just – it just happened yesterday." In other circumstances, Suho would've hollered and made catcalls, congratulating his brother, but this was different. "We are finally together. I just – one day. Oh?"

"Min-ah, whenever you think is best... but I'm telling you this because –"

"I know, the sooner, the better, I know."

Minutes later, Suho spoke up, noticing that Minseok had finished reading the letter and putting it back in the envelope. His eyes were fond, and his head laid back. "Now, you're just making me look like a step-mother paying you off to stay away from my son."

_I can't catch a break with this man, can I?_

_"Kim Minseok-shi?"_

_Oh, no. what's with the tone of his voice?_

Suho, of course, did his best impression of a drama omma, flipping his imaginary hair in all the right places. _"Take this money and never again shall I see with my precious Jongdae!"_

"Hey! Don't bring Jongdae into this!"

 _"Don't you dare talk back at me! You've poisoned my –_ Ahh! Minseok-ah! Sorry!"

After sweating unnecessarily chasing the old man, Minseok was finally let off. The letters burned his palm as he walked out of his brother's place. With a cute goodbye from Soojin, he drove his repaired car back to the restaurant. A heavy heart blocked his mind from thinking straight. It was only until Jayoung was in his sight again that he felt better.

As he watched her sunbae crowding and taking care of her, Minseok let out a sigh of relief, knowing that she would be fine without him.

🌼

🌼

Chef Chanyeol was standing there, so handsome with a crab trying to claw its ways out of his huge hands. Somehow, he still looked pretty when its big craws caught his fingers, letting out a girlish scream while getting smacked by Sous Chef Kyungsoo who was certainly not having it with the redhead.

Once she thought to chop up vegetables was boring, repetitive, and tiring, but now she understood her own follies as that was because she needed training, so, of course, Chef Yixing was going to make her cut up the whole market's produce.

Even when Chef Kris was scolding her for not cleaning the fish well, she found the freakishly tall Chinese man to be extremely majestic like a dragon ascending from the heavens. While Chef Tao's scary dark circles suddenly reminded her of a cute panda, dominating China in their own cute black and white suits.

Chef Kai, on the other hand, was drooling over his own sleeves for an hour already, asleep and sitting at one of the tables, and for once, she thought how incredible it was that even a person covered with saliva could be so beautiful.

Wiping the table clean next to Chef Kai, she couldn't help staring at his darkened face when she joined him, mirroring his state lying on his arm, eyes fluttering up and down, falling in and out of sleep.

_Ah, everything is so beautiful._

"Ohh, Jayounggu~~"

The girl giggled at the grown man spluttering the words from his napping self. Apparently, Chef did actually allow these men to take naps in between sessions. Since working from 6 pm to 6 am sounded extremely unethical, she was glad to know that these men just took turns sleeping on the job back and forth. Plus, there weren't many customers after midnight. Though sometimes foreigners came by once or twice a week, filling up the whole place at 3 am.

"Omo~~ you look so happy, Chef Kai~~ What's happening?"

"You, too, Yonggigu~~" She was honestly honored by the fact that her sunbae gave her so many nicknames that even they lost track of most of them, resulting in them calling her strange names.

"You first, sunbae." It was always nice to share your happiness with others.

Before he answered the questions, he stretched himself happily, mouth wide open, yawning to his heart content, seemingly fresh after what looked like the best he had ever had filling up his health bar for life.

"Chef Zhang..." her sunbae then rubbed his thumb and finger together, winking at her.

"Wah~~ bonus?"

Of course, they both squealed at the word and giggled almost childishly with one another, ignoring the strange looks they received from the rest of her sunbae. Chef, himself, didn't even care. It was her break time. Anything she did during then was not of importance to him, which seemed too much, but really, Chef couldn't resist Kai sunbae's especially her antics.

"Boy, I just hit the lotto if you know what I mean." Since the girl had helped him out in filling in his spot no matter how small it was, Kai Sunbae was grateful for it as she could tell, and now it appeared to everyone that the two of them rarely separated anymore in the kitchen.

"Eh, is it that much of a bonus? Wah, Chef is so generous..."

"I have a feeling he knows what's going on with my mom," he then helped her out cleaning the tables with her. "I don't think anyone told him though. We all talk behind his back, and I swear he has the magical ability to listen almost every time we start talking."

Now, she understood why sometimes the cooks had to keep making sure to look over their shoulders even though they knew full well that Chef left for the supermarket just a few seconds ago.

At the same time, she was impressed with Chef's true temperament. He seemed like he would actually explode if someone messed up the seasoning, but underneath all that was just a pile of gooey softness. But even with this knowledge, everyone still didn't want to piss him off daily. Sometimes, the pain wasn't worth the soft Chef appearing in the kitchen.

"What about you, Yongyong?"

The girl could only blush and avert her eyes here and there. She hadn't even talked to Jimin about this, but she already spilled the beans with Suho and her sunbae. Oh, Jimin. She had a feeling that all the boldness she had come from somewhere...

"Yah... what's up?" The chef was, of course, quick to notice her sudden shyness as she was known in the kitchen to become just as ruthless as Chef when she was in the zone or stressed (though she hadn't any idea about this).

"Well, you know... Oppa..."

"Stop." Chef Kai just raised his hand before her face while slowly creeping a smile on his face. "Ahh!"

Somehow, it was unexpected that she and Chef Kai could be bonding faster than everyone else even Chef and Chanyeol sunbae to whom she thought she was closer. Just days ago, they had the lockers to themselves and started to gossip and make fun of the other cooks including Minseok.

Chef Kai was shocked that she wasn't surprised to know that he had a _tiny_ crush on Chef Chanyeol. Usually, he would take the blame for him and even tend to his wounds with special attention that even she wasn't lucky enough to receive. It was kind of obvious, but since the redhead was a little _slow_ and probably straighter than the way down to hell, the poor chef could only stare.

Most importantly, she had no idea that Chef was into Minseok's butt that much... though she could understand why...

_Ayooo~~ Pervert me..._

"Finally, that slowpoke did something! I can't believe you're _this_ patient. If I had my ways, I would have just given up on his –" stopping himself from saying another word, Chef Kai just ruffled her hair and beamed brightly. "Oh, look at you, blooming like a flower."

"You too, Nini Sunbae~~" something he let her call him when no one was listening because in his defense, being called that by a bunch of old men could turn the kitchen into an uncomfortable and violating work environment.

"I have so much money!"

"I have so much love!"

" _yesh!_ "

Hands clasping one another as they jumped around happily. Under normal circumstances, she might be judging the man to find money so lovely. Then again, whatever makes him happy and his mother healthy.

"Our Minseok-ah~~" it was no one other than Chef and his adorable shenanigans towards him.

Chef Kai immediately broke away from her, giving her a nudge and going back to cleaning up the place. It was times like this that she was glad to have a friend.

"Minnie-ah, we're preparing for a trip. Come with us?"

The other cooks, of course, turned their heads so hard she thought it was a remarkable feat that those precious necks hadn't twisted yet.

Minseok who seemed genuinely mortified by everyone's reaction behind Chef's back let out a nervous laugh, hand scratching the nape of his neck. "Um... I'm sorry, but I have other plans?"

"What? Since when did Kim Minseok have _plans_?"

It was intended as a joke, but the horror on Minseok's face was enough to make the other cooks bit their lips, their cheeks, their hands, whatever it was that they were comfortable expressing the cringe on to. It took Minseok so long to confess to her, an indication of a seriously extreme case of low self-esteem if not anything else, and it was daunting to her after Chef Kai pointed out that Minseok was quite indecisive, assuming that it was part of his nature.

Chef tilted his head questioningly and Jayoung knew she had to swoop in to stop the innocent Chef from ruining Minseok's day and also everyone else's. He looked too excited by the prospect of hanging out with his best friend, not picking up the obvious fact that he had just fired shots at the saddened man. Moreover, no one was notified that they had to spend their holiday with their boss. It wasn't a very pretty picture to paint.

"We're going on a date!?" her voice so high pitched she thought the roof was already giving on its foundation and breaking apart.

Of course, the whole kitchen slowed down to sighs of relief and then loud excited exhales.

After strings and strings of questions hitting them in all directions, hopefully, as a distraction from the vacation thing, Minseok just stared blankly out the window, hands fidgeting on the table restlessly.

"Oppa?" she could see the sweat slowly rolling down his head. Suddenly, she too was anxious. Was he not content with what she had said? But then she shook her head. Right now, she had to make sure Minseok was okay.

"Umm?"

"So... you good?"

The man frowned deeply at her and huffed out a hasty no, making her lower her head out of guilt, when he added, "I was going to keep it as a surprise, taking you out and stuff."

It didn't take long for her to notice the burn on her cheeks and she was blessed to know that he was blushing just as much.

"I mean- you don't just say that in front of people-" Aw, Panicked Minseok was perhaps the best Minseok.

But as he was coming up with excuses, she just sat there, admiring the perfect creases on his skin; the wrinkles were all in the right places, defining the perfect man that was Kim Minseok. And that certain strain in his voice, the silky undertone in his vocal cord was enough to take her breath away.

She had never been into a person this much. To love even the most bizarre places of this person was something she had never felt before. Somehow, she had a feeling that even if his eyebrows were to give up and walk off his face, she might still love him (perhaps to a lesser degree).

"Cha Jayoung-shi?" the man waved at her cutely, letting her know that she was far off from the earth.

Before she could say another word, Kai sunbae showed up with two plates of freshly prepared ramen soup exciting her taste buds although they weren't the only thing keeping her on her toes.

"A thank you for you both. Jesus Christ, the whole kitchen was about to commit mass murder with -" stopping to look around for Chef, he continued when he found the old Chinese wasn't in sight. "That was unexpected. Thank you for saving us as always."

"Hopefully, you don't misunderstand Lay-er. He's just being his innocent self." Minseok being the faithful friend to Chef that he was smiled politely and chuckled at Kai sunbae's sighing in relief.

"Oh, the follies of knowledge and ignorance. How they both result in a similar level of misery~~"

Sometimes, Kai sunbae just looked off to the distance, probably at the stop sign across the street, and then spout out some really philosophical stuff before bursting into a hysterical laugh, leaving everyone else around him questioning his mental state.

"Anyway, if you two go on dates more often, maybe we'll all live in a better world."

The statement had her choking on her shrimp, and she was glad to receive a glass of ice tea as a means of survival.

"Kim Kai-shi~~" The girl frowned at the chef while he just shrugged _unknowingly_ at her unimpressed self.

"What? Cha Jayoung-shi?"

When she heard that pleasant chuckle from Minseok, she noticed that her sunbae had already walked off, realizing that she was making all types of judgemental faces behind his back. Strangely, she felt like although she loved teasing Minseok and herself about their newfound love, she found it slightly irritating that others were interfering even if they only meant to help them.

She really needed to make up her mind.

It was then that he leaned forward to wipe something off her lips, his crinkling with joy and attention that almost knocked her off her feet. "You know I'm glad you're close with your sunbae now. I don't have to worry about you anymore in this dangerous kitchen world."

The girl couldn't stop herself from beaming brightly at the remark though she felt something was off with the way he phrased that, but she shook it off. "I'm Cha Jayoung, oppa. I handle anything in the kitchen."

"Good. I hope you don't forget that when things get tough. It's so easy to lose sight of what you love so quick sometimes."

"Then you can remind me."

Minseok was, of course, beyond surprised and just glared at her playfully, saying something along the line of ' _You're learning way too many lines from romantic k-dramas._ '

"Well, we can help each other like we're doing right now. It's not like one of us is leaving anytime soon." That made Minseok paused but continued to slurp the soup like it was his lifeline.

To be honest, she wanted to say many more things. It seemed like last night she had said way too little though it wasn't exactly her fault. And this morning was rushed with Suho came barging in. She felt like if she didn't say what she truly felt about him sooner, he would end up thinking that this was nothing more than a firework of feelings, bursting instantaneously for a fleeting moment, burning brighter than any other light, but disappearing just as quickly into the wild wind whirling in a swift move.

Jayoung just mirrored him digging into the delicious meal without another word, reminding herself that they were going on a date that Minseok failed to surprise her in the comfort of their privacy.

"Hey, oppa, thinking about it, this does feel like we're on a date." The girl whispered shyly when she took a break from drowning herself in more ramen.

"NO!" Minseok quickly denied the claim she made way too quick, which certainly threw her off the comfy wagon. "I mean this doesn't count. I have something in mind. This isn't official."

"Ohh~~ you- you're already planning to take me out?" she knew he had told her that previously, but she thought it was just a flattering joke he did since the man came up with so many excuses.

"Yah! I didn't _not_ sleep last night for nothing." He looked like one of those kids that would shout ' _It's unfair!_ ' and immediately throw a tantrum whenever no one gave credit to his effort.

"Well, hello there, you two."

The old Chef reappeared after finishing up checking everything was in place and clean in the restaurant before leaving it vacant for the next whole week.

"I'm glad that you're happy together and all, but new rules, boys and girls." Suddenly, Chef was using _that_ voice. _That_ voice that would send all the grown cooks chills down their spines and made them fear for their lives. "If I see you snooping around with another person, I don't care if it's you or _you_ ," Minseok seemed almost offended that Chef was already accusing him of being a playboy. "I will hunt you down and make you eat dogs."

"CHEF!"

"AH WAE~~?!" She wondered why the way Minseok whined was so familiar.

The girl never wanted to slam a shrimp into a man's dignified face so much right now.

"YAH! Zhang Yixing! Anything but _that!?_ We both have a dog!"

"Ah-hah! Now that your worst nightmares had been realized. You will now obey me." It was no doubt that the two of them had lost the appetite to finish the tasty ramen.

"I never wanted to say it, but you Chinese are ruthless," Minseok said it with no venom – just slightly disturbed that was all.

"It has its benefits after all." Chef replied smugly before moving on with a straight face. "And no sneaking around in this kitchen. I can't have all those pesky love hormones flying into my food. It's abhorrent."

She hated Chef so much for being unexpectedly funny even while being so serious. The girl still freshly remembered the time when he confused _bamboo_ with the word _butt_ in Korean. So the whole afternoon was about double entendres and butt jokes. The worst thing about it was that no one could laugh at least in front of his face or else Chef would go into a fit of rage.

She never thought that not be allowed to laugh when your chef said " _Find_ _the best meat in town and stuff it up that butt,_ " was that painful.

_"I want Chanyeol and Kai to find all the butts we could get our hands on." Kyungsoo sunbae was sweating beside her, biting the inside of his cheeks. "Butts are the new craze in town and I think we should experiment more on them." Tao sunbae was whimpering in pain just like her._

_"I think I have the most hands-on experience, Chef." Of course, Chef Kai being the one enthusiastic about it said, "I read somewhere on the internet that whatever we do with it, we need the right kind of oil to-"_

_Chanyeol sunbae being gullible that he was just doubled over and laughed until he cried a thousand tears, clawing the floor, smacking Kris sunbae repeatedly, kneeling beside Kai sunbae who just smirking at the old Chef who just realized what was happening._

She couldn't believe that she had to be there for that conversation to happen. The girl didn't understand what half of the implications meant, but she was more than happy to be in the dark about it.

"You two loving could dirty my pure restaurant."

"And here I thought you were supportive of us." Minseok just giggled uncontrollably at this point. When a call took Chef away from them, Minseok added, "Grumpy Yixing is the cutest Yixing, don't you think so?"

"A little bit creepy to me, quite frankly."

"Anyway, enough of Yixing in his natural habitat. You don't have class tomorrow, right?"

She shook her head, thinking back to herself writing the to-do lists and schedule on the calendar just days ago for the both of them to see.

"Let's go somewhere tomorrow."

The girl just nodded delightfully.

With him, she'd go anywhere.  
  


🌼

They stood outside the restaurant with Jayoung still waving goodbye at Kai. Minseok smiled quietly to himself, not no longer bearing any strange feelings towards the cooks working for the old Chinese. If anything they could be there to protect her, probably better than he could.

When the girl turned back to him with a dazed look prettier than anything he had ever, he knew had to look away. As much as the feelings he had for her was overwhelming him, killing him, grazing at his delicate brain, wanting to do something, he pinched himself, bit the inside of his cheeks, deprived himself of air, constricting his own airway, looking up at the sky, blinking back away the tears.

He couldn't do anything.

He was still so far away from her.

He prayed to all the gods that he could run to her closer as time passed. And by the time he was there, he hoped that she would wait for him. She was still so young. Anything stupid and his friends in the police department would welcome him with open arms and a pair of handcuffs.

It was never going to work anyway. Not now.

So he returned the gaze with a simple quirk on his lips, nodding toward the direction of his car.

He could feel it.

He didn't want to say things like 'only age would give you wisdom,' but everything on her face was so apparent that he couldn't help chuckle at her indecisiveness to either hold his free hand or not. Sometimes, at the back of his mind, Minseok still sensed the vague little things she did to be half believable. Was she really sure that she wanted to kiss him? The pecks on his cheeks were merely pleasantries to her or were they not?

All of these emotions getting him high and then down within just a span of less than a day was more than enough for him to handle.

The next morning, he was slightly disappointed at the fact that Jimin came knocking on his door, but at the same time, he welcomed the kid a little bit too enthusiastically, arms flailing, hands sweating, legs shivering.

"My god, old man. You're a mess."

"Tell Jayoung, um- uh, I'll be back in a few hours." The man hastily grabbed his jacket on the clothes rack before adding, "and uh- tell her that she doesn't need to dress up. I – I got something in mind for her."

Before the kid could ask what the hell was going on, Minseok sped off to the place he knew that would certainly help him.

"My god, Minnie. You're a mess-"

"Oh, shut up!" throwing the small pillow at his best friend, Minseok just fell face-first into Jongdae's couch. Whimpering at how hot the ac was, he thought to himself, _this man seriously needed to go see a dermatologist_. Everyone was burning in the hot weather, and then you got Kim Jongdae dying in the Antarctic in the middle of the Sahara. "It's weird. It's still weird."

"Oh, it'll be fine. She'll understand. Just talk to her." gentle hands on his back and slowly he was sinking in the soft fabric of the couch. A small sigh left his lips as Jongdae's magic hands bend and soothed his tensed back. "Sit here for 30 minutes or 2 hours if you want. Find the words. Put them together. And say it. It's not like you've never done last-minute scriptwriting of a presentation."

He couldn't believe that just yesterday he was scrutinizing the girl for running away, doing the same thing just one day later.

After ten minutes of mystic massage from Jongdae the great, Minseok laid there, taking in his best friend's advice as he watched Jongdae walking back and forth in his own apartment. His mind was now cranking up the thinking machine, trying to piece together all the pieces, making it organized and clear, hopefully with a result of a speech that wouldn't give Jayoung a heart attack.

"Jongdae-ah?" his brow raised with an interest.

"Oh?" the cat man hummed nonchalantly while he swayed his phone around and walking in circles.

"Are you okay?"

"yes, of course."

"Have you finished the worksheet?"

"Yes, yes. That's why I'm home on a Monday."

"Is that Sehun?"

"Yes, yes," Watching Jongdae nodding his head along with nothing wrong in his mind had him burst out laughing when- "– I mean- WHAT? Yah, Kim Minseok!"

He almost died.

But it was okay because Jongdae left just enough air for him to breathe before he lost all sense completely. Slowly, the deadly hands retreated from his neck as Jongdae slumped forward, his head on Minseok's back. "It's strange that when he finally gave me space, I'm just here, flopping around like a frog looking for a rain shower."

"The classic hook, Dae-ah. Following you all around like honey then poof~~" Minseok turned to lay on his back with Jongdae mirroring him sitting beside the couch, his head now on the comfort of Minseok's stomach. "Gone with the wind, leaving you hanging."

Jongdae's turn to relax into his touch as Minseok's fingers tread his hair, combing the strands and softly patting his head. "I didn't know I was gay... but I still think I'm straight."

"Oh, don't care about gay or not gay. I think the kid was ready if you're still straight. He just wanted you to give him a chance even if you still end up not into guys. He's strong enough to handle the consequences."

"That's not exactly what I'm afraid of."

Under this light, Jongdae really looked like a little soft kitten being groomed with his cat eyes, his cat lips, his kitty warm autumn hair. A soft Jongdae is a cute Jongdae. His best friend bared a grim smile at him.

"I think he could be the only guy I might be falling in love with."

His voice was so tender when he said that. Minseok wondered what Jongdae would sound like if he were to sing. Must be like raining unicorns in a field of kittens in heaven.

"I ship it."

"I ship it, too."

"Minseok-ah?"

"Ne? Jongjong?"

"How do I say I love you without saying it?"

Minseok just slapped everything that was Kim Jongdae.

"Wait- wait- don't – is that how you love me?! Yah!"

5:00 pm.

With the help of his dumb but cute best friend, Minseok managed to get into a suit. Not of his own. All of his suits were all the same. Black, grey, blue. Whatever the color, they were all the same to him. Repetitive. Plain. Style for business. All for one boring purpose. The man didn't want to wear any one of them to a place where feelings were supposed to flourish under genuine human connections.

Luckily, the catty man had dressed him up in one of the suits that he bought for him long ago but had a hunch why it was better to not give him then.

_"I knew you too well. I knew you were going to keep this in a corner somewhere you yourself could never find, thinking that you're not good enough to wear it, so I thought I just kept it for you." Jongdae grinned at him, looking proud like a mother sending her son off to a prestigious school. "Look at you. So dashing. It's nice to see you again, Minseok-ah."_

As he opened the door to his house, the once boisterous room was stilled to a halt, a deafening silence. So stale that he could actually hear Jongdae's wailing from miles away.

"Well- well," Jimin stuttered, the first one to see his dazzling self as Jongdae put it, seemingly flustered and pointing at the room upstairs. "She's not done. I mean, she's done, but you know... girls.."

"But I told her not to dress up." Whispering to himself, he noticed the girl happily jumping down the stairs with her usual getup of an oversized sweater and a pair of jeans when she finally bumped into him, face first into his chest. "Ow. Watch it."

Jayoung was about to something when Jimin decided that it was time for him to leave.

There wasn't really much different from the outside, but to him, the suit really made him feel like a completely new being. The man rarely wore anything with the purpose to impress others or even himself, so when he put on a dark maroon jacket over the soft feel of a strange old but new fabric on his skin, Minseok sensed something shift. And clearly, Jayoung seemed to notice it, too.

"Wah~~ you look..." she took three huge steps backward and Minseok just hid his face behind his palms.

_Why make_ _such a big_ _deal now? Stop..._

"Fit." Wasn't exactly what he had expected but it still made him warm and cuddly inside. "Like yeah, the other suits you wear fit you, but this – it's not like _slightly_ loose on your shoulders, torso, or legs, just perfect fit."

The man blinked a few times when –"How are you so sure of my .. um- body?"

Then he realized something else about Kim Jongdae and his shenanigans. Was it possible that that man catastrophe had his measurements hidden something in his apartment? When did Kim Jongdae even have it? Minseok didn't even remember the last time got measured to get a new suit tailored.

Ignoring the shivers that thought gave him, Minseok kept a mental note to raid Jongdae's place later for other incriminating evidence. There must be something more than just his measurements Jongdae had.

But then he came back to Jayoung, who had just eyeballed him from head to toe.

"Wah- what? Oppa! You wear suits almost all the time! It's hard not to notice. Don't accuse me of – oh, whatever." Puffing her cheeks, she stomped the floor lightly with a small frown on her face. "I've never seen you in red before." He could tell that she couldn't stop herself.

"Oh, is it too much?" he just wasn't able to fake an okay look, bearing an awkward expression as he looked himself up and down, slowly panicking.

"No, it's just different. I think you look good in red." All of a sudden, it was hard to breathe so he took the biggest inhalation his airway could handle. "I just – you don't wear much colorful stuff. Only once in a while. And it's a nice change. No, wait, I think all color suits you."

Minseok flushed then recovered and brushed off his jacket, now standing taller with a smile brighter than before, grazing his hair, looking up saying, "That's what I get for being handsome." Which earned a loud smack in his arm. He smiled, but he was broken inside. That girl gained some arm muscles working with Yixing and he thought that felt like a truck collided with his frail arm.

She didn't understand why she didn't have to dress up when he looked like he was ready to greet the queen of England.

Minseok just chuckled and lightly skipped to behind her, pushing her gently forward. "I wanted to buy you a dress if that's okay?"

He couldn't see her reaction, but the way she stuttered in her steps before leaving the house told him just enough that he might have made the right choice.

"It's alright if you –"

"Let's go! I kind of want to match your suit." Sometimes, the girl said things that clearly didn't mean anything grander to her, but it certainly affected him in ways that made him clutched his chest without her noticing as she seemed engrossed in the idea of shopping for a dress. "I should wear red and black, right? Oh~~ can't wait."

He didn't want to admit that he, too, was watching k-drama with Suho, but it was surprising to know that this girl didn't even want to waste time putting herself in dresses she knew that didn't fit her or look remotely pleasing to her. He had thought that it was a thing with girls to just drown themselves in clothing sections, putting on as many different clothes as possible with the guy just had to buy everything up.

There was some walking, but he didn't complain really. Everyone especially the ladies, of course, noticed him and he didn't miss the way Jayoung would scoot closer to him every time a lady assistant was talking to him.

He had always hated restriction. Anything that stopped him from doing the things he wanted. He already knew the way of the world, but his parents had to intervene. However, Jayoung could be the only exception. This type of restriction he was fond of. So, he was only allowed to be with her. That didn't seem too bad.

Finally, she stopped in front of a quiet store that didn't have too many customers cluttering every walkway and all the girls clinging to him. A knowing smile was on his cheeky lips.

For once, he was actually proud of his own handsome face. He never found his one eyelid thing that attractive, getting the feeling of strangeness in the stomach every time he looked at the mirror. But now knowing that the girl liked looking at his doll eyes, he was at ease for the first time with his looks.

Fixing his small quiff hanging above his forehead, he noticed Jayoung pointing to a dark maroon dress almost matching his jacket. Before he could get a word in, she already walked into the fitting room.

After five minutes of intense foot tapping, the man heard his name being called just the way he liked it from Jayoung.

There wasn't much change really. He had seen her in dresses before, but just like him, something felt distinct this time. All the times, she wore dresses; he had noticed discomfort and fidgeting along with a lot of looking down and staring at her own feet, but she was here in front of him with her lips stretched to the happiest smile as she twirled around in her new dress. It was long-sleeved and went down to stay just below her knees.

"How do I look?"

"Perfect," whispered Minseok to himself.

"Nah~~ Wait, come-"

When she dragged him from his seat and pushed him to stand in front of the mirror, the man burned up and bit his lips at the image of the two of them matching jacket and dress, standing next to each other happily. To matter how much his brain found the context still pretty much uncomfortable, he had to admit the fact that they did look good together. He felt as if he was made for her. Maybe that was his true purpose in life after all.

As he linked his arm with her proudly, he knew that he was more than happy to know that she was his new reason to live for.

Finally, they arrived at the restaurant that Yixing recommended, which surprised Minseok beyond belief as the Chinese never seemed to stop telling people that he was the greatest chef yet all of a sudden, told him where to find a good place to eat.

"So, this is his friend's place I heard," Minseok muttered as he helped her get out of the car. She was a lot more graceful in her steps than usual. That pair of black converse she had on went well with his suit while her dress corresponded with his jacket. Sighing to himself, he wondered how countries he saved in his past life to be this lucky.

"Really? This is a Korean place..."

He kept a distance when they entered the place. While they were led to their reserved place, a certain blond caught his eyes or rather Jayoung caught his eyes.

"Oh, Cha Jayoung-shi?" Luhan bowed and smiled politely at her.

"Ne, Luhan-shi."

"So, you two are here together?" it finally dawned on him that he hadn't really told _all_ of his coworkers about Jayoung. And instead of feeling scandalized he normally was, Minseok found himself holding down a loud heave when Luhan didn't know that Jayoung was with him.

"Ne, we're eating here." The girl had no idea what was going on, clearly not experienced enough to understand any signal the older man was giving her.

"Then you two enjoy your date!" the Chinese could tell that the silence from his was hostile, and Minseok was thankful that he didn't push it.

"Wah, there's a lot of people with him. Are they doing business here? We keep meeting. That's strange." Jayoung thanked the waiter for helping her with her seat as she nonchalantly told him the new info.

"You _keep_ running into each other? When?"

"Oh, he was at Chef's when I covered for Kai sunbae. And when um..." she trailed off, something clicking in her mind. "When Suho oppa took me to the Japanese restaurant."

He didn't want to be _that_ guy. Not like this. So he bit his lips and tried to find a better question to ask her when –"Do you like him? I mean- was he nice to you? Wait,"

Jayoung could only frown questioningly at his strange behavior.

"You know what? Never mind." Luckily the waiter came with the menu, stopping her from digging in his wrecked brain.

And there they sat in silence, waiting for their food. Maybe he should start talking. Why did that Luhan have to be there and ruin his flow? Now, everything seemed a little awkward. The air was strange as the girl was finally catching up to what he meant, her face slightly disturbed at the new revelation.

"Does- does he know how old I am?" the girl scratched at the smooth wooden table, and he knew this was going to be hard.

"Hey, it's fine. Don't get offended, but you do look slightly older than you are, so don't worry about that." she should though. Luhan did call him Sunbae only due to their positions, and albeit the pretty face he had, he was actually older than Minseok, _but_ she didn't need to know that. The girl went through enough already and clearly needn't any guy creeping her out. Moreover, she should be feeling that same dread with him, not just Luhan.

That same thing was tearing his heart apart. Although he did dive in heart first to finally confess his feelings, his head could still think very _clearly._ And today had been one hell of an illumination.

But when her eyes crinkled at the sight of him as she looked up from her trembling fingers, he was confident again. Just a little.

"Plus, I think we made it clear for him who you're with." There was a smugness he didn't know he had plastered in the speech.

The wine came and of course, he told himself he could only have two glasses since the man was trying his best to cut down on all these things alcohol. His colleagues had been more than unimpressed with his excuses for not licking a drop of booze. It was driving him insane really, but with the help of Suho and his therapist, they worked something out. And obviously, going home to Jayoung was one thing that helped.

"Do you have the ring with you?" straight to the point. This matter Minseok wasn't going to cower from.

The question certainly elicited a flustered reaction. As he was ready to hear the disappointing fact, she whispered shyly, "I have it with me."

"What... really?" he had prepared all the talk and the talk involved the ring. He should feel better now that she had with her, it was easier to lay out what he had to say, but –

"I always have it with me. I just never wore it... I – don't know."

There it was in her hand, and before he knew it, he was mirroring her action, a ring on his palm. The two stared at the gold rings shining under the warm intrusive light as it blinded them with its radiance.

"Give it to me. No, don't ask – just give it," a clear reluctance, but she handed to him, ready to draw back when he caught her wrist, and with all the tenderness he could muster, he slipped the ring onto her finger. Silently, he, too, put his own ring on and suddenly, he felt like they were shifted to a different dimension.

The girl, of course, seemed to have enough with all the surprises and just stayed quiet though he didn't miss the way her eyes lit up at their hands wearing the same rings, and he would be lying if he told her he didn't feel the same.

At last, dinner came and they were brought back to the reality that was the restaurant. Minseok naturally started the conversation, asking about the cooking, and Jayoung was more than happy to comply and spilled all the beans about her old Chinese chef.

His senses were heightened with the intensity he didn't know he could handle. He had always eaten with her alone this way, but under this light, within the confine of this romantic place, hands glittering the shine of their wedding rings, Minseok was ecstatic, wanting to keep this close to his heart.

"You look good in your dress." Minseok decided to interject the silence as the girl took a small break from talking about how dumb Park Chanyeol was. It wasn't all new to him really. Yixing had been clawing his ears off with all the complaints he could conjure up.

Jayoung just licked her lips and kept eating her food, trying not to squeal.

"I'm impressed at how fast you picked it actually. I honestly thought it was going to take hours." It was nice to know that Jayoung didn't easily take offense to those kinds of things.

"Oh, you know. I guess... with you, I didn't have to think. I just know right away what to do. What to choose." That statement took his breath away as he tried to recompose himself with a tiny sip of his red wine. When Jayoung was bold, Minseok never stood a chance. The girl just swept him right off. "I never like feeling so girly... but with you, I guess it feels nice being a girl. I like that feeling. For the first time."

Then, the man remembered his best friend yelling at him. 

_"Oh, don't you go soft on me! I've seen the girl, and every time, I feel like you're the female protagonist. Don't get me wrong. Being girlish is fine, but you're just letting her do all the work now." Jongdae endlessly whined into his bleeding ears, helping him out with his hair, styling it. "Man up and flirt with her, dude. Make an impression. If she ended up with another guy while you're gone, you're going to regret not taking my advice."_

Well, he was bold too. The other day.

"Omo, oppa, look at you~~" the girl reached out to squeeze his cheeks with just enough pressure to make him stop functioning, his food still in his mouth. "You look like a squirrel."

Reddened, Minseok lightly pushed her hands away and continued munching on his food. He was about to try and do something he thought charming in his mind when she spoke up, breaking his train of thoughts.

"Strange. These two dishes are _almost_ good. These two though... looks like it's ready to fall apart."

Only with her observation did Minseok realized that he wasn't exactly enjoying his food at all. The thought startled him. Was being with Jayoung enough to make anything enjoyable to him?

"Oh, you don't like it? I'm so sorry. I –"

"No, no. I love it here with you." *bang, heart shot. He needed to know where she learned to be so smooth. "I just felt like something is wrong with the food in a way that I can't explain. Like all that's missing is some sugar, you know, but... get it? When you just know that it could have been better if you just try _a little_ harder. Just _a little_ and it makes all the difference?"

Oh, he knew that feeling better than anyone.

Fancy restaurants baffled him always, and he was glad to know that Jayoung felt the same way. Something about the way they overcharged. Something about the food. You'd expect something really good, but usually, it was just a small piece of steak served in a strange mix of sauce. Minseok had the privilege to eat at _good_ fancy restaurants, but he still found it hard to enjoy his food with all of the required formalities. And the fact that he had to do business at the same time didn't make his mouth salivate any more than a dry piece of bread.

Jayoung told him that she wanted to run a small restaurant like Yixing. Not too fancy, not too street either. Just the right combination of home, warmth, happiness, togetherness, food, and a good time. A place where one could unwind and not be strict and straightened up their back to eat the food with all the many complicated utensils. A sense of belonging she wanted to give her food. She didn't want to run a business. She wanted to bring happiness to people.

They were now at the Han river, walking on the Hangang bridge. Minseok loved the way his long black coat kept her warm as they slowly took in the beauty of the night and bridge lights illuminating their slow walk.

"Maybe you could be my food photographer." Jayoung poked his arm, her chocolate hair flowing in the wind, her cheeks kissed by the cold painting them bright pink. He was glad that she didn't wear makeup. "We would have the best and most loyal customers around."

His heart once again did a 180 flip at the implication of their future being together. How was this girl so ... he didn't know what to think anymore. At this point, he had to whip out his last-minute script before he forgot every word he was going to say.

"Jayoung-ah?"

"Ne?" always so soft.

"I have something to tell you." Slowly, he drew out the letter from his breast pocket. "I know this is sudden, but there's no other of saying it."

"What is it?" the girl whispered and with an uneasy look in her eyes, she unfolded the letter, eyes tracing the words under the cold light.

Guilt clung on to his heart when he watched the girl stilled herself, tensed and hurt.

"You're drafted..." a broken voice left her lips and that was enough to spike his heart, his tears luckily held at bay.

"Well, I have to serve my country after all." Minseok let out the longest sigh, mimicking his older brother's habits. "I was supposed to go three years ago, but.. you know, with Soyoung and all."

Jayoung read the letter again and again. He could tell she was trying to make sure it wasn't a fake letter.

"Due to my... mental instabilities, the conscription was delayed, and my good physical condition made sure I could still serve in the military." For once, he wished he had been in an accident before all of this happened. Maybe it could have been avoided.

He loved his country, of course. But this was too much. To ask him to fulfill his duty when he just finally got his life together.

"And I don't want to make it look like I'm running away. I just knew that if I stayed a little longer, I might not able to leave you." Jayoung herself didn't even realize that she was crying. "Don't –don't do that."

"Why? Why now?"

He had no answer to that question.

"What- what position are you taking?" her eyes begging him, but of course, he couldn't return that hopeful stare.

"The Marine Corps."

"Can't you apply for a translator? You know a lot of languages."

"They didn't accept me."

Silence ensued. This was it. The breaking point. The true test. As if they hadn't gone through enough to get here, something was still in the way.

His brows raised worriedly while he waited for her to speak. The girl furiously wiping her tears away with his coat sleeves. His heart wrenched at the sight of the girl he loved in pain. He never wanted to bring her pain or worry. He promised her sister that he'd protect her, but then he was ready to leave in two weeks' time.

Her soft hiccups disrupted all the words he had planned to say, her back facing him.

"Jayoung-ah?"

"ne." a small whimper.

"Give me your hand." He had put back the letter in his suit again, but this time he held her hands, his eyes stayed on her wedding ring. "You know that I love you, right?"

A loud hiccup stopped her from forming words.

"Do you believe me when I say that I love you?"

The girl slowly nodded, her face looking up to him confused. Her eyes soaked with tears as he helped traced the drops with his free hand. Her hair flying to her side. She could be painting under this light. Too out of this world, he thought.

A weak smile, he could muster as a response. "Really? I honestly... I couldn't believe you."

A flash of hurt and confusion was on her face, but he was quick to make sure she listened to the end of everything first.

"Not with this marriage." He circled her ring, staring at it with a broken expression. "I know I love you, but I couldn't help not fully trusting you with your words. Do you understand what I'm saying? When I tell you something, do you sometimes feel like I'm just saying it out of decency?"

She was about to interrupt him when she stopped herself, her lips slightly ajar.

"Do you still doubt my words even after all of _this?_ Because I am like that with you. I know you do love me, too, but at the back of my mind, I just can't shake off that doubt." He watched her emotions bared on her venerable state. "It hurt when I say this out loud, but it's the truth. And deep down, we can't deny that doubt we're facing every day."

"What are you doing, oppa?" slowly, he took off her ring and then his ring.

With the objects in his palm, he continued with a heavy heart. "This marriage. It's not enough. It's forced. It's not right. You're still so young and I'm just getting out of a dark place. We're still finding our ground."

"Oppa? Please... what do you think you're doing?" Jayoung slowly panicked as she watched him clutched the rings in his hands, but his free hand calmed her down, stroking her cheek and tucking her hair behind her ears. The shy reaction was still apparent to him. At least, _that_ he could believe that it was real.

"I love you so much. That's why I'm ending this." his fist held in front of her face as her tears once again. The girl tried her best to blink them away and cleared her throat.

"How..what..."

"Let me finish, Jayoung-ah." He shook the fist that held their wedding rings. "I honestly never liked these rings. I love you, but not this. Every time I look at the ring on my nightstand, it just tears me apart, reminding me of the fact that this is just forced marriage. That we are what we are now because of a messed up thing."

Something in her eyes flickered and he knew that she felt the same way. That the rings were painful to look at.

"If- if you want to rid of me that much, just say it. Say you don't love me. Why so elaborate?" her eyes were bold as always but with a renewed sense of bitterness, and of course, that cut him deep, but he understood because what he was doing to her right now wasn't as warm and cuddly either.

"See? You don't believe me when I love you."

"You're breaking up with me. Of course, I'm feeling that way!" she tried walking away from him, but he caught her wrist with a dry laugh.

"Did I say I'm breaking with you?"

"Well, aren't you doing that right now? Leaving me, serving the military, thinking that us not being together is a better way to spend our lives?" she was heaving at this point, slowly but surely she was starting to panic as she flailed around her free arm hitting his chest repetitively while the other tried to break away from his grip, but she failed to continue, losing her strength to the cold and the pain.

"Jayoung-ah, I'm merely saying that I don't like these rings." The man opened his palms and pretended to examine the objects. "Plus I'm going to buy prettier ones anyway."

"Just shut up! I don't care! Let me go –" the girl stopped all of her commotions; her brows furrowed when his words finally sank into her.

"What? I'm breaking up with you? That's adorable. You think you can get away from me after making me fall in love with you like this?" Minseok finally smiled and held her chin up to him, enjoying the way she had craned her neck up like this. "I'm not letting you go, Jayoung-ah. I want us to start over."

The girl blinked and her face was burning up redder than ever as she went on hitting him. "I hate you, now. I hate you for playing with me like that. You're horrible." But there was no bitterness to her words this time. She hiccupped her way through the statement as her hits became just pokes.

"Oh, baby girl." he held her close this time, embracing the small figure that was the one light in his world, the one girl that brought him back to life. His head resting on hers as his grip tightened. Jayoung was not shy of returning the same desperation in her hold. He was leaving and soon neither of them couldn't be doing this anymore.

"I love you, oppa."

"I love you, too. So much it hurts," Minseok drew slightly and placed a light kiss on her forehead before bringing up the rings again. "I want us to be free. To do whatever we want. With these on our fingers, I feel like it's just a meaningless rope tying us down. These rings remind me of all the things your parents forced you to do and I can't have it. I won't have it."

His heart jumped when the girl unexpectedly reached up and traced his features lazily from his wrinkles to his mono eyelids to his sideburns. It was so intimate, so close. She was touching him as if he was the one hurting more than her like he was the fragile one and not her. And somehow, he was okay with that.

"Then I promise to buy better and fancier ones." She whispered and he was whipped. He didn't lean in, staying still, letting the girl do what she wanted. Jayoung tiptoed to bump their noses together, giggling as she did so before pressing her lips ever so lightly on his cold dry ones. The lights didn't help him either. He could see everything that was Cha Jayoung, and it hurt him and heal him all at the same time. 

When she was on her feet again, Minseok smiled. "That sounds nice, but I'm buying us a pair, too."

"So? Then we'll have two rings." Jayoung said confidently, finally understanding where he was coming from. "Which means that we can be stronger, no?"

"yeah, something like that..." the man was still finding his words after that innocent kiss. It was so easy for her to mess him up this way. A dangerous thing. But he didn't care.

They then looked at the rings together, their feelings turning sour by the second as they saw nothing but chains and shackles on their minds.

When Jayoung looked past towards the river, Minseok hummed in content as the girl was still cradling his face like the most valuable thing and he loved every second of the attention she was giving him.

"Wanna throw it away?"

"Yes, please."

On the count to three, they both threw away their wedding rings.

Jayoung laughed to herself when the objects were out of their sight. The gold no longer haunting their conscience, "I shouldn't be so happy being a divorcee at such a young age."

"You should! The world's your oyster now!" Sometimes, he couldn't help sounding corny like Suho. He just had to. The man chuckled lightly as he returned the same care and tenderness to trace her face, carding his hand through her hair flowing gracefully in the wind. "This is perfect. No matter how painful this will be. This is _perfect_."

A knowing smile on her lips. He wanted to lean in, but Minseok stopped himself like he always did, but this time, he promised himself to get to this when he came back. He knew he wouldn't hold himself back when the time came.

"You'll have the time to grow up, learn about yourself, or maybe even date other people."

"Oppa. I wouldn't do that." A cute frown stared at him accusingly.

"But I'm serious though. You be you. Explore. Have your coming of age drama." The man just sighed and leaned happily into her touch when she ran her fingers through his hair. "I will do my thing, grow stronger, and by the end of all of it, find my way back to you. I don't care if you have a husband by then, I'm going to woo you as a man should."

"Omo... oppa, you're so cheesy."

"But you love it, though." He pinched her cheek, drawing a guilty laugh from her. "I'll come back to you, running, and properly date you and marry you."

"I won't date anyone even if you want me to, oppa." The girl winked at him with the pretty smile he was always fond of. "I'll be waiting for you. Promise me you'll come back running like you said you would."

As he pressed their foreheads together and looked into her hopeful eyes, he breathed with the intent to stay alive. For her.

"I promise, baby girl. I promise."

🌼

🌼

"Good night."

He tapped her cheeks lovingly as he stepped back from her and closed the door behind him, leaving her there standing in the warm autumn lit study, the place of literature, study, peace, and sleep for her. A safe place. The study had always been somewhere she could retreat to when times were tough, but only when Minseok wasn't involved. Back then, Jimin's place was something of a safe zone for her.

When she felt the sting on her cheeks too unbearable, she found comfort in the arms of her best friend.

She remembered the first time she walked into this house. The cold air embraced her, but with Minseok around, she was somewhat comforted and breathed easier knowing that she wasn't the only one living under this strange detached reality of a roof.

She remembered the first time she walked into this study. With him. The place contrasted everything that the house stood for. And this was the perfect place. The girl didn't consider her room to be her room but merely a huge walk-closet. The fact that this uncharted territory could give her relief and a sense of belonging was beyond this world.

The same could be said about Minseok.

She didn't know what she was walking into, but by the time she got there, she was more than happy and safe.

Jayoung backed away from the door slowly, each step wobblier than the last. Once she felt the frame of the windowsill touched the back of her knee, Jayoung gladly dropped herself onto the wooden platform, back pressed against the window behind her, feeling the raindrops hitting her back through the thin glass.

It finally rained after a long while. She could hear the turmoil happening outside.

Her heart raced. Her brained mushed. Her emotions were erratic. Her hands trembling.

She wanted to open that door and burst into his room, dragging him back down to lay on the windowsill with her. The girl never thought she felt this alone.

_He's leaving._

Her hand came to her chest. Her lips sucked. Her eyes blinked back the tears.

But she couldn't hold it.

_Not like this._

That night she poured her heart out to the silent pillow as much as the rain poured its tears through the dark and heavy clouds.

7:00 am.

"Jayoung-ah?"

She smiled at Minseok who was back in his business suit.

"Um, are you making something?"

The girl blinked, looking at what was the last thing she was doing, where to start. Then she noticed the whole kitchen was empty. She didn't even take anything out of the fridge. More or less made anything.

Jayoung wanted to fall back and stay home.

"Ah, I'm just... you know. Didn't have the right ingredient, so- no breakfast, I guess." But she knew this wasn't what she wanted to say. And he could tell. She had never made an excuse like this before. She had always made everything work as long as she had the kitchen.

She should be happy that he was here, but she just couldn't.

"Hey..."

She didn't even know he was approaching her slowly and already got a hold of her, her face hard against his beating chest. She sensed the comforting warmth radiating off his arms, his embrace, but it was still so hard to breathe. His little movements, patting her back, humming in just the way she liked it, being there for her.

The girl didn't know how long they were in that position, but she knew it wasn't going to last.

"Yo!" Hari snapped her out of it. The two friends were on the roof, looking down at the small students beneath. Some other students took the space of the rooftop, emerging in their own conversation.

"Um." The girl fell stiff, weak. Lips unable to form words.

"You want to talk?"

A slow blink of the eye was enough a message for Hari and so the girl just offered Jayoung the bread she bought from the cafeteria down below and eat together silently on the open rooftop.

"Chan." Jayoung ruffled the growing German shepherd's head cutely but could only go so far as to comb through the thickening fur; her strength had left her. Her body laid on the soft grass as she let Chan whimpered against her and nuzzled its nose at the nape of her neck, sensing the distress she was drowning in.

"Hello, Xing's child. Hello, Chan." Baekhyun sunbae popped into her vision, staring down with a bright smile on his face.

The man didn't say anything as he laid down beside her. Minutes passed and the girl found comfort in someone next to her breathing the air, understanding her and the cute innocent canine that was snuggling up to her.

"You know. Chan waits a long time for you." The beautiful voice sent a calming chill down her spine. "He's really looking for your attention. Play with him."

A brow raised and she stared at the man's bright bleached hair.

"It didn't matter how long he had to wait. What mattered to him is that you're here. Right now. No matter how short the time is."

"Why do I feel like you're not talking about Chan anymore?" that actually made her feel better. A weight lifted off her chest. A strange relaxing sense washed over her. Something about Byun Baekhyun.

"I'm not implying anything. I'm merely stating the fact. Now, play with Chan, or else I'm taking him back."

With a small cry of 'no,' Baekhyun chuckled and rolled over with Jayoung to tell her about all the tricks he had taught the little puppy.

7:00 pm.

This time she was the one who was late. Minseok knew about her visit to the dog park and was more than happy to let her go.

She still felt numb after everything. She was ecstatic that Minseok was being such a gentleman and confessed to her and all, but she was just as devastated to know of his departure.

"Hey, you're home!" the pretty voice greeted her.

The girl was not ready for an image of a handsome man in his white shirt and a dark blue tie strolling around the kitchen with an apron on. The part that really killed her was when Minseok had to roll his sleeves the moment she was in his sight, a simple smile on his lips as he turned to flip whatever was in the frying pan.

_Oh, no. My greatest weakness._

It was the two things she loved most. Cooking and Minseok. Perhaps she could eat her cooking and maybe Minseok–

Jayoung furiously shook her head when it drew the attention of the older man.

"Come, I'm making another one of grandma's famous dishes." With the radish in between his chopsticks, Minseok held it out for her to eat. "Snack. You seem hungry."

She could barely keep eye contact as she felt her ears burned at his gentle voice, slowly dropping her bag and sitting down across the kitchen table. There was something satisfying when he made a humming sound effect once she leaned in to eat the little fresh square radish.

"Delicious?"

"Ne."

So with Baekhyun's words in her head, she sighed contently as Minseok patted her head for eating his food well and slept easier that night.

Maybe, if Minseok could go on this far through everything that happened for three years, she, too, could handle it with him for 22 months. 

🌼

He walked her in. The sunlight and the blue hitting her in all directions. The new study was a lot bigger. The windows were bigger, offering more ventilation. All the colors lightened up her days. Grey was no longer the dominant color, darkening their days,

The girl looked around, twirled here and there, her eyes beaming with excitement when she noticed the huge space by the window.

"Omo! Oppa, it's so big!" he'd made sure he got a new house with a windowsill, a place for her, where she could feel safe. "It's awesome. We can both sleep on it."

Minseok almost choked at the declaration, his face suddenly bloomed, thinking of other things when he shook his head, ridding his strange thoughts. "Um-yeah... Uh, Baekhyun will bring the dogs once we've moved."

"Wah~~ we can keep pets? Best birthday present ever!"

Of course, at the restaurant Yixing let her drink just enough soju to feel like an adult, and for the first time, everyone discovered that she was a soft koala drunk.

"Chanyeol Sunbae, what do you think of Kai Sunbae? I think he's fine." Her hands dangerously lowering down the taller's body before he flicked her forehead with a frown.

"Sh-shut up."

"Aw, Minseok oppa never shut me up." And just as quickly she was clutching at his arms, eyes looking up to him with a determination. "Com'ere."

Everyone certainly cheered and clinked their drinks when Jayoung pulled him by his tie for a drunk but gentle peck on his cold lips. As much as he was flattered, Minseok pulled back early and tried to go on with the day without getting his face smashed with cheesy lovey-dovey comments.

There wasn't much time left, so he let her cling on to him. In other circumstances, he wouldn't be too enthusiastic with the affection happening in public as he wasn't too keen on being bold, but for this once he let her.

His eyes trained on her wary ones. As he felt his head getting lighter and hair getting shorter, Minseok could see himself in a different light. Even the stylist Junho couldn't hide the worry and sadness in his eyes when he had to rid Minseok's luscious locks.

"Ohh~~ You look like a bodyguard." Jayoung's eyes were gentle with delight as she helped him on the last piece of his suit. The black and white for once he liked.

Minseok found out that no matter what his hair looked like, Jayoung still adored it. They sat on the windowsill together for the first time. His body slightly drooped as his head rested comfortably on her lap. The rain silencing his troubled mind as her fingers chased away all his doubts, carding through his shortened locks.

His eyes closed. He let his other senses savored the moment. Her left hand tenderly grazing and smoothing his tired shoulders, her right hand traced secret lines on his face. His lips she leaned down to surprise him once in a while, lighting up his shadowy world.

His ears were blessed by the calm drizzling rain, and from time to time, she would trace his neck, his collarbone, never further than that.

The moon essence running down his senses, rendering his breathless. He could feel the moonlight raining down on them. The cherry blossoms in her kisses. The autumn breeze in her giggles. Her fingertips glazed with gold and love basking him in a special kind of attention. Her innocent scent flooding his mind.

And when he opened his eyes, she gazed at him like he was the universe. Stargazed eyes igniting a passion his burnout ones.

He didn't know what to know nor did she look like she knew what to say. The rain was enough of a cry, so they stayed quiet like their love for each other.

Soon, he found himself with a renewed sense of determination. His right hand that was resting on his stomach slowly reached up to her, learning the wrinkles and crease on her cheeks. His left found its way to her left, entangling itself comfortably with hers, and their hands rested on his beating heart.

Gently, his right hand grazed the nape of her neck and pulled her down. Kissing her always blew him away. He never knew kissing could be so endearing and addicting. The sky seemed to fall on him, caging him in every direction as he tried to run away from this girl.

He pushed her back and sat up, legs crossed, mirroring her before he scooped her up and pressed her against his chest, his laps full of her. His back leaned against the wall and his face buried into her hair as his arms held her close.

A precious moon in his embrace. Soon, he would have to let her go, only feel her love from afar. The wind-breaking them apart blowing on his open wound, gathering sadness in the vacant space of his heart.

With a gentle kiss on her temple, no matter how far he drifted, he silently vowed to cross every mountain and walk every mile to come back to her. 

🌼

She sat in the library, staring at all the text with the wandering thoughts baiting her away from the academic world to the world of tomorrow. She couldn't stop thinking about what she would do without him. Yes, she had told herself that and she had made sure Minseok would hear the end of it, but deep down, she couldn't help it. It wasn't possible to push that kind of thought down, but she shook her head and focused on the homework she had to complete. She had to grow up and learn to be wiser and cooler like Minseok.

He sat in the office, staring at the letter in his hands. Maybe, this could lead to a new life. He wanted to be better for Jayoung. He had to, so he handed the letter to his brother. When Suho turned around from his comfy office chair _, Resignation_ glared at Suho's face, but Suho didn't elicit any strong emotion as he had thought. The old brother just smiled at him and waved him away, sending him off with two fists – fighting motion, encouraging him with a cute cheer.

She listened to every word Chef Kai said, learning the precious recipe that he had created. Kai had made her promised that she would make his recipe the second in her menu after her most favorite creation. It was going to be hard to find what kind of taste she would want to go for and stand out as a chef, but Kai just made her learn for now.

" _There'll be plenty of time to create a recipe. Now, just hone your craft."_

He listened to every word the doctor said, learning about his own perfect and healthy body and how it would certainly serve his country well. There would be a physical and emotional strain. The doctor stressed that if he experienced any intense flashbacks as he did in the past, he must alert the doctor. His heart burned at the thought of Soyoung albeit a little less.

_"There'll be times you can't fight the visions. Just focus on the action."_

She looked at the list of universities, scanning every one of their offers. She needed a scholarship. She wasn't going to depend on her parents. Minseok could only do so much to help her. If she weren't pushing herself, then no one would help her.

He researched aimlessly at all of the articles of other people joining the mandatory enlistment, but at one point, he closed his laptop. He couldn't spend the rest of his time scaring himself. The one thing he picked up on the numerous stories online was that hesitation was not tolerated. Then, Yixing's number popped in. The Chinese voice screaming at him to go outside and do something else, so he did. He looked at the list of courses on photography and graphic design.

"Jayoung-ah," he held out a big photo album to Jayoung who had just entered their new house was just taking off her backpack. "I thought this would be nice. I forgot to ask which one you want to be framed, so I did this –"

"I'll frame it myself." She skipped to the couch and leaned against him, opening the photo album and marveling at the pretty pictures they had taken in Japan.

Of course, Chan jumped up the couch with her and whimpered for her affection to which she gladly gave. Petting the little German Shepherd, she looked through the many pictures with her eyes watering, her nose sniffing.

"Oh, come on. I don't look that ugly that you're crying?" Minseok brought her close and brushed his lips softly against her hair. "I have three more of these huge albums still being processed and printed out at Sehun's place." He had no idea Sehun had such a high-quality photo printer hidden somewhere. Minseok made a mental note to invest in an even better one when he came back.

"The test is coming up in a month." With a mouth full of Chef Kyungsoo's best kimchi given as a housewarming gift, she leaned forward in her chair, watching his chubby cheeks moving with all the food. She wasn't going to see more of him, so she had to compensate and hoard all of his attention for now. "I'm also having an entrance exam around September or October... Not sure which college I'm going to yet, but yeah."

"I'm sorry I can't be there."

"Oppa~~ don't say that. You're making me sad."

_I'm making you sad already... It's going to be worse when-_

"Hey, I got Chef, Jongdae-shi, Suho-oppa who have plenty of stuff on you. I think I'll get through it." a cute chuckle she let out when he suddenly choked on kimchi.

"Crap- I mean... I don't have anything. They don't have anything on me."

She was lying on the windowsill reading her notes as Minseok was scanning through various websites looking for what he wanted to take up when he came back.

"Oh! I know what to frame!"

So Minseok set up his camera while Jayoung tried to bring their dogs together for a photo.

He stood tall staring at the clear blue sky brightening up his senses when he felt endearing arms slid behind him, Jayoung's hands clasping over his torso, her head against his back. Minseok heard her mumbled something against his back, but it was muffled by his thick clothes.

"You look handsome."

"Yeah?"

"Maybe, you'll get more muscles when you come back."

A light chuckle and he turned to return the embrace looking down at her with a knowing look. "Oh. I see where this is going... you only want me for my body. Wait, that's a girl's lin–"

"Whatever!" smacking her forehead into his chest, she laughed when he actually whined at the sudden attack. Jayoung took in the man before her in his black attire although she didn't have to try to remember it since the clothes would be sent back to her anyway.

Now, with Suho beside her, they watched Minseok slowly disappearing into the lifeless looking camp. She wanted to cry, but no tears came to her. She didn't realize it had been half an hour when Suho softly nudged her.

"Hey, let's go home."

So they pathed ways that day, waiting for days to end and heartache to drown them in sorrow.

🌼

Running.

He was good at running away, but in this place, he was forced to run towards something.

"Hey, newbie." One of the seniors approached him. Minseok was already shaken by the fact that he was called. Suho had told him not to freak out, but he couldn't help it. He'd heard tales of people getting even tougher around chaebols like him.

A week at this place was more than suffocating. All of his sleep cycles were messed up. He could no longer do things the way he used to do it. He had to relearn how to walk, how to sleep, how to wake up, how to wash up, how to eat. Even after all the gym work he had done, he was still lacking behind.

"Key-sunbae." The older senior stood before him, holding out a hand to which Minseok was a little bit too quick to grab.

"Ne. Sunbae. I'm Minseok."

"Eh~~ I'm not going to eat you alive, you know." The man slapped his back and pushed him back down to his seat as he continued his meal. Minseok, on the other hand, found it hard to even swallow with this sudden new companion beside him.

For a week, he had been going around with his fellow men who were still trying to find their footing, and they hadn't been getting along, dealing with their own fatigue and frustration.

His new sunbae seemed friendly, unlike most other seniors who would bear a harden intimidating faces to overpower the new soldiers around here.

"I noticed you're running a lot further than the other new ones." He spoke with a mouthful of kimchi; both talking with a mouth full of food and kimchi was not allowed for the other soldiers but the seniors and drill sergeants from what he had noticed. "You stick to the rules well for a chaebol."

Minseok bit his cheeks, trying not to look too bent. Having your captain scolding you with female remarks wasn't much a discomfort. Minseok knew better than to be offended, knowing Jayoung. If she knew that he would bend to something like, she would certainly disapprove. There was nothing wrong with being a girl.

However, Minseok didn't like the loud screaming.

"Ah.. ne." Chaebol. One of the biggest reasons why he didn't like his own living condition. It was fair for people to despise and envy the rich like him, but that also meant that all of his other achievements were overshadowed by the fact that he was rich.

"You took the scolding well, too." The man was now looking at him, but Minseok didn't dare stare at him right back and just nodded. "For a newbie, you're quite resilient to all of this."

He didn't want to be bitter, but he had gone through Soyoung. A period that even his brain had almost completely blocked it. Suho was staring at him fondly, saying that if he could push past three years like that, Minseok would be able to survive at least two years here. At least for Jayoung.

"I'm impressed that's all. Most chaebols, well... all chaebols especially the young ones here either bribed people here or they were pushed aside, and all of them were a mess going through all of this. There are very few like you." Already, the senior was walking away with his food when he turned to leave a final remark. "Whatever life you have must have been shittier than this, huh?"

That was sure to stick right at his heart. There was truth to it though he wanted to push away the thought. Besides Jayoung, Suho, and his friends, his life had been uneventful. He hated every second of the work he had to do just as he hated every second of this conscription.

All the frustration was pushed against the ground. His hands damped and clutching the dirt as he crawled under the fences. The faster he could go, the more painful it was. The physical pain dulled his hatred for the job he had been doing for half of his life. Even he couldn't believe that he himself could go on do that consultant job so well even though he was burnt-out and had emotionally given up on it.

Suho was right. He could go through this – physically.

He knew it was only two weeks so far, but his fingers itched. His eyes stared longingly at those who had been here longer, reading their own letters. He tried closing his eyes and waiting for Jayoung to appear, but it was hard. His mind could only do so much before his heart broke down and yearn for the girl's presence.

He missed the chocolate strands of hair that he loved carding through so much. Her food adorned with her warmth and love-filled his hollow stomach, brightening up his darkened state of mind. He wanted to hold her again. Closer and closer.

Minseok let out a groan. How did he pass months without getting close to her? Only when he had to leave that he finally needed her touch. A deep frown as he glared at the ceiling when all of a sudden, he remembered Jayoung would giggle and her fingertips came to his face, easing the heavy frown, lightly brushing at his eyebrows before giving him an angel's kiss. The wrinkles on his forehead faltered under her small gentle lips.

Suddenly the scruffy blanket and dry uniforms he was sleeping with felt a little easier to breathe through.

So, he closed his eyes determined to find her in his dreams.

🌷

🌷

She could look at the photo forever and he wouldn't appear in front of her on command.

"Yongyong-ah, have you got your pencils?"

"Ne, Chef."

"Erasers?"

"Ne, Chef."

"Have you seen my wallet?"

"Ne, Chef."

Jayoung pointed at the old Chinese's hand where his wallet was, and he just looked back at her dumbfounded. He looked quite young when he put on a white slim hoodie like that. The old man just ran around the house, looking for whatever was already in her backpack.

"Chef, don't worry about it. I got everything."

"What do you mean freaking out? I'm not freaking out!"

"I didn't say that..." the girl whispered and quietly giggled to herself as she got to the standing mirror. The chocolate on her hair was fading away. Maybe she should highlight it, change it to another color. A distraction was always nice.

Chan and Chenchen were, of course, not making it easy for the old chef to work as he tried to jump away from the constant licking and clawing. "I swear to god I will cook both of you."

"Chef, I'm good to go." bringing the chef to her home wasn't exactly a good idea since he didn't get to have his beauty sleep, but it was harder to say no when he literally threatened to eat her dogs if she didn't let him bring her to school today.

The girl felt a little flustered as she watched the old chef got on his motorcycle. Once again, she shouldn't be surprised but she had expected Chef Kai or Chef Tao with a motorcycle, not the old Chinese. All she had known about his transportation was the bus. The fact just blew her mind. Moreover, she wanted to question the chef that was more nervous than her if he should be driving at all, but the helmet was on her head and the straps were clasped gently when she looked up at the old chef.

"Don't let go. Or die."

"Ay~~ Chef~~"

The old Chinese could be extremely explicit and out of context sometimes that it never failed to baffle her.

She should be scared at the fact that Chef's driving, but the girl found it exhilarating. She should be scared about the exam she had to do in an hour, but she felt nothing. She should be freaking out, but it was empty for her at the moment.

The wind pushed against her hair. The sun was bright and shining. The neighborhood blurred past as she hung on to the old chef.

She felt eyes looking at her.

She didn't know if it was because everyone finally knew of the arranged marriage. Or the fact that she was already a divorcee at eighteen. Or the fact that her parents cut her off. Or the fact that there was a really handsome strange old man brushing the dirt off her uniform. But at this point, she learned not to care as the old Chef taught her so.

"Aiyoo~~ My little Yonggiyong~~" Chef helped her out with the helmet and combed her freaky hair back to its more natural state. "Don't panic, okay?"

The girl just chuckled at her grumpy chef shaking hands on her shoulders. "Chef, I told you. I'm good. Don't worry about me."

"Oh, my god. How could I not?"

She knew what he meant by that. The girl tried hard. This past month without Minseok was more than a strain on her. Everything hit her in so many directions she didn't know how to react. And at this point, she could only stare and take it like she used to.

Chef then kneeled and took her hands in his. "You'll do fine, alright? When you're done, take the bus and come back to me straight away, got it?"

"Ne." she could hear words. People walking by saying things, but she tried not to listen to them and focused on the proud chef that was smiling at her.

"You'll get through it." and with one final hug, she waved at the chef who refused to leave before she disappeared into the school building.

It was the final exam anyway. There was no point in feeling shame and attacked anymore. It was almost over. She should be able to handle it.

The exams passed by like a blur.

She wished it was a quick blur.

Every time she looked up to read the clock, she saw Minseok waving at her cheering her on.

It had been happening for a few weeks. She should go and see a doctor, but it was just her thoughts. It wasn't too bad.

Minseok left just as quickly as he appeared.

The girl walked away from the classroom, the exam finally over. As she got to the entrance, she could have sworn it was him in the familiar Mercedes even though she knew that he got rid of the car already. Another blink and he was gone.

Her head pressed against the cold window as the snow gradually fell before her eyes. It was getting colder. The winter slowly seeping into everyone's lives just as the hole in her heart bit by bit grew tired and distant. And she couldn't stop thinking about him.

The cold would freeze his hair. The snow would seep into his warm skin. The wind would blow him back. The harsh weather would hurt him just like his absence did to her. Her heart ached at the thought of his lips turning blue and dry as he had to run across the field and train. His eyes would tear up at the freezing season and she couldn't be there to keep him warm. She wanted to bring his frosty hands and keep them in her pockets and let him nestle on her shoulders.

She was on the roof of Chef's restaurant, trying to imagine Minseok and how he had spent all of his sleepless nights drinking with Chef.

"So have you picked a college?" The old chef made the beer looked so tasty with the way he closed his eyes and hummed at the flavor lighting up his pallets.

"Ne." she simply dug into Chef Kai's infamous Korean barbeque cooked specifically just for her and Chef, melting into the meat had her heart beat again after so much stress. "The entrance exam is in a month."

"You'll pass. I know my student well."

She didn't expect her parents to cut her off so late. She had always known they didn't like her. She was the one who helped Doyoung ran away after all. She made their one son run away. Of course, they hated her.

Suho and Minseok didn't blink when they said they would help, but she still found it too much. She didn't feel that deserving of any of their aid. As much as she was grateful for the things given to her, the girl couldn't help feeling it was too much. At one point, she shouldn't be taking any of this.

The full scholarship was going to be hard to obtain, but she would do everything to get it.

"You know, I found a job I thought will teach you something about the kitchen." Her ears perked at the words, her heart beat at the idea, but her mind just told her she wasn't worthy of the job. Chef should just let someone else do the work. "You'll start working after you're done with your entrance exam."

She was mad certainly that the old chef didn't give her a choice, but at the same time, she was grateful that he did so, knowing that she would say no to the job.

On the windowsill, she looked up to the moon, hoping that he was seeing the same thing. The books and the blanket weren't enough to keep her warm.

With Chan and Chenchen slept right below her, she smiled at the adorable creatures, but they still weren't enough to keep her company.

That night she closed her eyes, waiting to see him in another world where he was right beside her.

🌷

"The North Koreans are coming to get us." The sergeant walked back and back staring red spikes into the soldiers' eyes. "Anytime, they will strike and we cannot falter, you hear me?"

Minseok's shoulders slumped at his meal, hands barely moving to shove the food into his mouth. The man had remembered wishing for the north and the south reunification for his birthdays. Now he had to fight them. His heart burned with siding with the south and being forced to hate the north.

He had grown up with a child of the north as his neighbor. The defectors were nice people and sought only peace. Why couldn't the two countries be together? Why did this have to happen? Politics had always been a sore point for his family since they were business people. Every time his company turned a north defector away, his heart died a little. There was nothing he could do. It was reasonable to not trust them, but after knowing that the potential employee had been in Seoul for ten years and the company still not accepting them hit him in ways he couldn't bear.

He didn't want to talk to Suho about these things, however. Now, something dreading his mind, clawing at his conscience. Maybe he should have intervened in the hiring process. Make a change. But that was him. Hiding back so many layers, and now that he had to face this, Minseok realized how big a mistake he had made all these years.

He shouldn't be tearing up at the moment or he might have to do a hundred push-ups, and Minseok thought that he couldn't do a hundred push-ups while crying.

_They're not my enemies... They're people._

Finally, he could feel the delicate snow fizzling away on his nose. Strong gusts of freezing wind swept away his cowardly thoughts as he stripped off his jacket and shirt. His eyes welled up with tears, but no one was close enough to see. Stepping into the snow with his fellow soldiers, Minseok bit his inner cheeks, trying to stop his teeth from chattering.

"AHH!!"

Altogether, the soldiers shoved their bare hands into the snow and threw them over each other's bodies. Minseok felt as if the world was crashing into him. His mind was as frozen as his fingers, but he couldn't stop. His muscles flexed and burned at the cold prickles of snowflakes chucked on to him. He could no longer feel his dry pale lips as he kept digging into the pile of white and throwing it at the other soldiers.

The flakes were building on his back. Layers starting to pile on top of one another. He could feel the cold thickened on his bare body.

The other women soldiers did their fair share of going into the snow, but their clothes were spared luckily.

Everyone seemed to be having fun though. Men and women screaming and throwing snow at each other. It was then that they were lead to a small pool and with the women behind him, the men walked into the freezing water. On three, they submerged themselves into the water. Then, everyone played with the water just like they were playing with the snow.

The women were giggling and the men were slapping each other's backs as they seemingly enjoyed the harsh freezing weather. Minseok tried to participate. He was a consultant, baring fake smiles for quite a while, so this wasn't that difficult for him.

_"We're doing this for our country, come on."_

_"Why did this have to happen? I'm wasting away my two precious years."_

Whatever the stance, Minseok didn't find that that was the real problem. For him, it was the north. If they could just be together...

The night crept over his lonely thoughts as he stood guard outside of camp. His thick coat and face protection weren't enough to fight away this cold. The lone tree at the end of his eyes took him back to when he and the girl walked side by side on the pavement. The first snow falling sent a refreshing feeling he had never felt before. He remembered the way she stared so lovingly up at the frozen cherry blossoms, pink and sparkling. The pretty flowers were frostbitten like his heart being chipped away by her soft laughs and shy voice. Her pretty face bloomed and just like the frozen blossoms, her beauty embedded into his mind amidst all the chaos, he could still find her and ground himself again. 

"I must say. I'm impressed, Minseok-ah." Key nodded at him with what seemed like a genuine smile. Maybe it was a real smile. "You don't talk much, do you?"

"I'm sorry, sunbae, if that is rude."

"It's fine. I hear from all the newbies, hearing their stances on these things, but I don't even know where your thoughts at. What do you think about the conscription?"

Minseok didn't like where this question was going, but at least, his sunbae sort of distracted him from the cold. "I just wish we could reunite with the north."

_With no fighting, preferably._

His sunbae raised his brow, lips pulled back. The man was the assistant to the drill sergeant. Maybe his answer was wrong. Minseok should on the dehumanization wagon to save his delicate feelings from the pain, but he just couldn't. Perhaps, he might have to do a hundred lap for giving the wrong answer.

"You're a rare one indeed, newbie." His sunbae didn't say much but pat him on the back and walked back to his tent while Minseok continued his watch.

A slow deep inhale and a slow deep exhale.

The cold was starting to get to him, but Minseok knew that his person was safe and sound under the welcoming roof of their house.

Just the thought of her was enough to thaw his frozen lonely thoughts. 

🌷

He was sitting there alone. The food was going cold. The people were watching. The waiter was asking if he needed anything else.

Her sister had pulled a fast one on this man. And Jayoung didn't know if she should feel okay with her own sister doing this. She hadn't any idea who he was, but to her, nobody deserved to be ditched like this.

She had seen him from time to time. He had this innocent and fragile face for a fierce businessman. He would always bow to every little thing.

The girl sat down.

He was, of course, confused.

"She's not coming." A little heads up for him. She knew what the question was.

"I don't want to be rude, but why..."

"I just... couldn't leave you alone." she looked at the food below, unable to keep eye contact with him. Exhaling deeply, she brought the napkin to her collar and picked up the spoon. "You're paying, right?"

She didn't wait for his reply. The girl had been working the whole day at school yesterday and since her parents were out and about, she couldn't get her own food. Digging into the beef, she downed the first bite faster than he could reply.

A weird smile on his lips when she looked up.

"Nothing. Just... I'm Minseok."

"I'm Jayoung. Can you help me with the sauce?"

That afternoon, it was her eating up almost everything and Minseok complaining about the size of a teenager's appetite.

She didn't know she was going to come across this man. The girl was just looking for a place to eat. But he was already here, on the verge of breaking down. The only thing she could do was keep his feelings at bay for the moment.

The waiter seemed pleased at the sight of her. "Would you like anything else?"

"Cola, please."

A tap on her shoulder and Jayoung was back in the kitchen. Chef Chanyeol was smiling down at her with ice cream in his hand. "Come on. It's never too late for ice cream."

"It's freezing out there, and you're eating ice cream?" The tanned chef raised a brow, but there was no heat to his words. The girl had been noticing Chef Kai's stares towards Chef Chanyeol, and it wasn't getting any less obvious.

When the two of them were alone in the storage unit, Jayoung questioned her sunbae without much hiding. "It's not just a crush, is it, sunbae?"

She could see his knuckles whitened as he gripped the huge box of potatoes, but the chef just winked at her as a dry reply before going back to his job, leaving the girl blankly washing the dishes in the abyss.

The girl didn't want to get involved. She had her problems to take care of as the entrance was getting closer and waiting for her soldier wasn't getting easier by the day. However, the pained expression her favorite chef bore as he watched the taller redhead flirting with the lady customers was more than she could handle. It was crystal clear that Chanyeol wasn't going to swing the other way any time soon, and Chef Kai knew that confessing would only make everything worse.

"Hey, we can meet him on the 15th of November." Suho smiled at her mouth full of kimchi. The old brother came to visit her at the restaurant and although his presence made things a little better for her, the news he came bearing only riled her up. Her tears already threatening to fall, but she bit the insides of her cheeks and clawed her knees below the table.

"It's the CSAT on that day." Why did the exam have to fall on that day? And why couldn't the visitation be on any other day at all?

"Oh." Of course, Suho being as gullible as he exhaled and leaned in to take her hands into his across the table. "There will be plenty of times we can see him, you know."

A silent nod.

"How about you write letters to him? I'm sure he'll be more than ecstatic."

The road was quiet. The sky was clear. No planes flying anywhere. The streets were closed off. Businessmen, office workers, sellers, everyone with a job stopped everything for the exam to initiate. She watched as the teens even younger than her gathered around the school cheering for the upperclassmen like her. Suho was behind the gates at this point, still cheering for her.

She was going through a tough time in her life, and he wasn't there for her, and vice versa.

The silence was deafening. Seoul had never been so still at that moment. With determination, she breathed in and stayed calm as she went through each question with ease. She wanted to be good. She wanted to be better for him. For once, she actually wanted to grow up.

She stepped into the new kitchen, eyes wide with fear and excitement.

"This is your workspace. You'll be waiting tables for now." The seemingly gruff chef, Yunho, was showing her the place. This was the restaurant that she had her first date with Minseok, which didn't make her less distracted.

As her new chef explained the rules in the kitchen, she couldn't help feel the new waitress's uniform on her skin. The promise of a new beginning spiked at her heart.

Days later, she stood behind the glass door, afraid to walk out of the school building.

Hands gripping the straps tight, she could only wander back and forth within the building. Everyone had someone coming to get them after the graduation ceremony. Having fun, laughing, giggling, yelling, everyone was happy that their days of high school were over, celebrating them with their families.

And there she was, alone and scared of the cold embrace of the winter air, but she had no choice but to walk out of there if she wanted to get home. _Don't think about other people._ But she still did. Some people did turn heads at her alone, walking past others taking pictures of the memorable day.

However, she couldn't leave the place properly, for the girl suddenly spotted the two strangely familiar figures at the entrance. And obviously, her classmates were dazed at what was happening as the two men in a pristine and slick suit and tie had everyone parted their ways for their walk, approaching her.

"Wah~~ Jongdae-shi, Sehun-shi!" Jayoung almost squealed at the two in sunglasses blocking all the stares from others as they fixed their suits, acting like they were on a mission.

"Cha Jayoung-shi, I'm Kim Jongdae, a friend of Kim Minseok." The man then bowed to her slightly eliciting a gasp from her when he held out a huge bouquet of pretty white roses to her.

"omo! Jongdae-shi!" all she could do now was giggling and blush at the act before the taller man joined.

"Ne, Cha Jayoung-shi, I'm Oh Sehun, the boyfriend of Kim Jongdae-"

"Aish!" And before she could even bring the beautiful roses to her chest, Jongdae was already slapping Sehun's head with the flowers. "Shut up!"

Her heart just shattered at the sight of the once-blooming roses, spraying its petals all over her face. _Well, still better than nothing._

"Ay~~ Here you go. Congratulations, Jayoung-shi." Sehun just blocked Jongdae and held out another bouquet of different color lilies and carnation, which did not fail to bring tears to her eyes.

"Thank you so much." The girl brought the flowers close to taking in the fragrance before beaming brightly at the two businessmen before her.

"Suho, the CEO, couldn't come, so he bribed us."

"Not like we're complaining though." Jongdae's chest pushed up and smirked proudly as the whispers around the three of them seemed to get louder. "It's been a while since teenagers find me cool."

"You're shameless," Sehun added simply as he took out his phone and stepped back. "Come on, let's take some photos."

"And leave this place forever, yes," Jayoung added happily and linked her arm comfortably with Jongdae. _Maybe, this isn't too bad after all._

Soon, Jimin joined them along with Chef Kyungsoo who looked like he was just there for decoration and tried his best to stay away from the youngsters as much as possible. Once again, her mind had failed to comfort her and betrayed the trust of her close friends. Well, some of them may not be her _friend,_ but they were there for her. Again and again, she had learned this lesson that no one had forgotten about her and that they did care for her, and all she had to do was wait and trust them, but time and time again, she always came to a different and bitter conclusion.

Jayoung knew that she needed to learn more about faith and even though Minseok had praised her in ways that she had it going for her, she still had a lot to learn as it turned out.

It was a cold day just like this night.

They were in their sweaters in her room, giggling and having fun – pillows in arms, listening to each other as the cold morning went by. They were going to see a movie on the weekend as a plan when they heard the door rang and her sister had to go.

She remembered looking down from her window to see that broken face the moment she heard the door slammed. She could never forget him – the way he just turned around and stood still, staring up at the snow falling into his eyes, hands in his long coat, ears covered with earmuffs.

Back then, she knew that no matter how cold the winter was, it was nothing compared to what he was feeling right then and there.

Now, she knew exactly what that felt like, realizing that she had inadvertently done the same thing her sister had done albeit less obvious.

Suddenly, she realized how bad it was that she didn't write to him days ago and explained her condition to him personally with a letter. It finally dawned on her that her hesitation and her silence must have hurt the man. The image of Minseok flailing in bed unable to sleep was enough to tug at her heartstring.

That night, instead of sulking in a corner and ignoring her whining dogs, the girl played with her precious pets, looking through the bubbly pictures Minseok had taken of her and him together. She conjured up the best of her ability to properly write and laid out her feelings in the letter with her favorite pen. 

🌷

6 months passed just like that.

Each day without her rendered him a shell of a man.

He tried pushing it all out to the workout, the regimens just to get his mind off the vacant spot in his heart. Each time she couldn't meet him due to the inconvenience of school work and assignments, it got harder for him to even open his eyes in the morning, but the war was still going regardless of his feelings.

"Will she be here next time?" He tried to sound strong and reasonable, but it all came out breathy and Suho could only suck his bottom lips.

"You know, I can't promise you something like that. It's up to her, Minnie."

Seeing the older man was a nice change for Minseok. So far, Jongdae, Sehun, and Rion were the ones who came to check on him.

"What's up with this? You're already hurting yourself this much?" His brother's hands came to his face almost immediately the moment he spotted the scar on his left eyebrow, an evident cut on the eyebrow. "What happened?"

"It's... There was a lot of climbing and I hit myself against the rock. It's bound to happen, hyung. You don't need to freak out."

"Well, it looks like it's a permanent scar now... I know what this job entails, but you still need to be careful. You've got to take care of yourself." Somehow, Suho's soft pat on his cheek was enough to make him smile. "You can take a leave, you know? You can spend a week or two back home and then just go back."

"If I go now, I don't think I could come back and finish this."

He was sure that if he took a four-day leave, he would certainly run away. He was aware of his error – one that was hard to fix. He told her not to lose her way, but could he actually do the same? A coward in himself was always ready to act and without her, the man was a lot more prone to giving up than ever before.

There was a somber air between them while they were surrounded by other soldiers who meet up with their family members or girlfriends. And Minseok was certainly envious of the latter.

An apologetic face Suho had on and Minseok kind of knew what he was going to say. "She didn't keep a letter for you this time, sorry."

What was happening? Did something happen to her? He knew that he shouldn't be selfish and that he should be understanding of her situation getting a new job and adjusting to college life and all, but why couldn't she show up for him? The man wasn't really complaining about the letters. They did keep him sane and warm his shivering heart during the winter, but he wanted more.

This was the third time that she failed to show up at the meeting.

Or did she find another person? Was that it? He would be better off spending his frustrations on trying to forget her if that was the case.

_What? NO._

Minseok came back to whatever Suho was talking about. Minseok had promised to pursue her no matter what even if she found another. This was getting out of hand.

Before Suho could comfort him, a whiny noise came to him and seemed to capture everyone's attention.

"Aish, you're terrible. I'm never doing this again! Why!? You're trying to feed an army?" It was then that the familiar face of Jimin realized that he was standing in a place full of soldiers with a huge bag of _something_.

"Maybe."

That voice.

Sounded familiar only when she walked in.

Of course, just like the first time he fell for her, all his senses heightened and everything seemed clearer – a lot more intense – as he finally noticed the strange octave in her voice. She stood just a little taller, her face slightly extended, her jaws just a bit sharper. Her hair was in a lighter color of chocolate.

"Right. I kind of forgot to tell you that she sort of... uh... hit..."

"Shut up, Suho-oppa. Minseok-oppa, hi hi!"

That light crispy crack in her voice was new and it didn't bother him at all. So it was possible to love her more than he already did.

He was still frozen in his seat when she leaned in and placed a sweet surgery kiss on his dry lips. At that moment, his conscious self was gone, leaving the thought of others staring at the backseat as she came into his space, still looking down at his defenseless self sitting motionless gazing up to her eyes like the stars shining on a cloudless night.

"Look at you," she whispered, her hand soft against his cheeks and he wanted to cry. Suddenly, the new lines on his face started had the man panic. He was torn between leaning in and backing away. He tried to think that it didn't matter, but now that he looked just as different as she was, he didn't know if she was okay as he was with her.

Time slowed down when she eased away his furrowed brows that she always did. He sighed, defeated and leaning into her touch – the attention he had been craving for so long finally raining down on him. "Now, you look like a bad boy... I like it."

He didn't know if that was a good thing, but he beamed at her words nonetheless as he let her stared at the new scars on his features. It tickled when she traced the nape of his neck, but he held still, trying to remember each path she drew on his skin. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I love it." he could hear a collective 'ooh' when her lips traced the scar on his brow and he just embraced the girl as she stood chuckling at his quiet self pressing his face against her stomach trying to hide his reddened cheeks.

Her delicate fingers drew circles on his back through his thick uniform, and he brought her closer, eyes shut tight, keeping his frail tears at bay. A deep breath and she filled his lungs – the presence that he had craved so long, the one thing he yearned for all these tough lonely months was now in his hold.

He could feel that little push, but he didn't let her drew back. If he let go of her now, would she back? It felt as if it was a dream and this was something he didn't want to wake up from.

The bruises and wounds he endured were painful. It wasn't that hard to admit how difficult things had been. The things they forced him to do. The ideas they imprinted in him. Almost everything went his code of conduct – his moral conscious. For once, he finally realized the true pain of being obedient.

Suho had always told him to _live a little._ Minseok being Minseok, of course, didn't understand what that was. He was young. He didn't know his priorities, trying to chase his parents' approvals, never really pushed against their orders. Being in the backseat for all his life, Minseok felt an uncanny conundrum when he found that the girl he loved went through the same thing, and suddenly, being obedient wasn't okay. Finally, he learned to break free with her. And now he was in the military. An irony. A place where orders couldn't be broken.

She sat on his thigh, their eyes leveled. Now, he couldn't hide his face. A nervous gulp and he looked into her chocolate eyes crinkling at him. Her arms looped around his bulky shoulders. Questions filled his overdosed mind as the new wrinkles above her cheeks, on her forehead, near her small dimples. Well, she didn't technically have dimples; the girl just happened to smile a really bright big smile, but to him, they were dimples no matter how faint they were.

Her waist widened and he could feel the little chubby stomach as his finger tickled her, making her squirm around. Now, he didn't have to worry about her not eating well. He sensed the new strength in her core and he didn't have to be careful when he held her anymore. Her figure fitted within his hold so much better.

And it seemed like the new things she had been handling had taken its effect on her, and it certainly made her even more beautiful than he had always remembered her to be.

"Wow, it's been only 6 months- I mean it's been long, but not _that_ long and you're this..." that new filter to her voice gave him chills down his spine that healed his soul. "Your features – they're bold now... it's - Oppa, I thought your thirty had finished its magic, but it seems like it's still going... wow."

His heart swelled with pride as he knew that she was as mesmerized by his change just as he was.

Of course, now, the thought of one year and a half suddenly carried with it more than just a painful and frustrating meaning. The promise of _new_ looks. Suddenly, it wasn't such a bad thing after all. He could work even harder to be a better man and by the time they could be together again, he could prove to be the right choice – a man she could rely on.

He didn't know that he was smiling so big when she playfully poked his cheeks. "Awe, my chubby cheeks are still here." How could the girl be so bold like that? He wasn't really complaining though. The way she had just addressed his cheeks as hers was enough to have his heart do more than ten thousand push-ups.

"It's unfair how he's cute and manly at the same time," Jimin spoke up, breaking his trance.

"I know..." Jayoung turned to her friend and giggled uncontrollably as the two teens just poked and smoothed over his newly built muscles. "There's just so much work. I'm so sorry I couldn't come sooner. You must've been so-"

"It's alright. I don't mind it."

"Wah, you know, your shoulders are so much broader now."

"Hey! Stop touching my man!"

"What? I can't help it." Jimin shook his head and motioned towards the huge plastic bag. "What now?"

"Right! I have to feed you, but wait for a moment, okay?" He almost forgot what it was like to be held so gingerly by her as she ran her hand through his short hair and held his jaw with her thumb tenderly tapping his lips before stealing a peck from him again.

And there Jayoung and Jimin went, going around the place giving away free lunch boxes of her food to everyone especially those who seemed the most alone. The girl seemed to back off from couples but gave them a box while she openly offered two or three boxes to soldiers who were by themselves and talking to their fellow soldiers. The guards that were always brooding suddenly broke down their tough looks and smiled fondly at her while the seemingly gloomy men brightened up and laughing with her while Jimin made a fool of himself winking and flirting with the soldiers.

"Ya~~" Suho leaned back and chuckled at the scene. "Told you she's a keeper."

As much as he was happy with her interaction with the other soldiers, Minseok couldn't help scowling at his fellow brothers. They weren't really close to him. He had been going around the camp alone as some people did pick on him for being rich and all. Then, they caught his glaring eyes and of course, backed off a little from Jayoung who was still very much oblivious to the threat he was giving them. Even if he knew that he didn't have anyone by his side in the place, when it came to her, he would be more than willing to fight all of them off alone.

"You know... I know it's fun and games and all, but keep those muscles." Suho clapped his hands before his grumpy self, winking at Minseok in a really weird way. "How I can put it... well – It helps to _diffuse_ tense situations."

Minseok was not amused at the old guy.

"Hey, hey! There are many times that I got in trouble and thanks to these guns –" The old brother then flexed his biceps that were all of a sudden trying to break free from his small white shirt. "Works hmm... like 85%-90% of the times."

At that moment, his brain decided to look back at the times when she was in a trance of some sort once he was _slightly_ bare before her. _No, I won't stoop that low._

"These help with distraction and make Soojin Omma cling to me all the time. Brother, trust me. Stay healthy and fit and she won't even think of looking at another man."

"Hey, you." He was glad that she didn't bring a chair with her and kept sitting on his lap while she fed him the pickled radish.

"I mean... I don't mind this at all, but what about others?" The man whispered to her when he suddenly noticed his fellow soldiers staring at them.

"What? I kind of like it this way. And don't you want to show off?"

He could hear Suho and Jimin laughing at whatever they were talking about and gulped almost too hard, red written all over his face when she winked at him.

"Think about it. Some of the couples here think they're showing off, but they have no idea who they're dealing with."

_What happened to this girl?_

"They think you're alone but no. You have the best cook in the world falling in love with you."

"Aya..." burying his face in the nape of her neck, he squinted his eyes at every word she said. They were too much and he couldn't handle it.

"Oh, and don't you dare get close to other women around here, especially the doctor ones." Jayoung then looked around the camp, which had both Suho and Jimin bursting into hysterical laughs.

"Good god, woman. He's no Song Joongki."

"He's so much better looking than that guy. And if there's a possibility, I won't allow it." his face squeezed in between her hands as she looked at him from side to side. "Plus now that I realized that you can evolve this much, you can be sure that you're not going anywhere from me."

"He's no Pokémone either."

"But he does evolve," Suho added while wiggling his eyebrows at his younger brother who was currently having more than a nice time.

Finally, it was break time after so much training.

Thanks to her overflowing attention to him, Minseok could still feel her hands entwined with his. His heart felt lighter and everything seemed easier even if there weren't much difference. Smiling to himself when he remembered all the kisses she stole from him while he wasn't looking. Maybe, Suho was right. She clung to him every second of their meeting and staring at him with no filter whatsoever. The weird ration in his mouth tasted a little better out of the blue.

He didn't even realize he was giggling shyly at himself until he looked up to see the other soldiers watching his dreaming self.

Suddenly, a huge group of soldiers formed before him and stared down at the man who was just trying to eat his meal. _Oh, dear_. He dreaded this day that others would gang up on him for being so uptight and rich. But then he remembered Jayoung massaging his bigger shoulders, whispering praises at him, and he felt a little braver.

"What do you want?" he asked.

The group just looked down at him, faces stone-cold and unwavering.

"Whatever it is. I don't want any trouble."

"You... how did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"... Sunbae..."

That word made him choked on his ration and suddenly the group burst into a panic.

"What are you looking at!? Find the man some water!"

Thankfully, a cup was brought to his lips and now, he was looking at the once intimidating soldiers, some of which were _his_ sunbae, his superior, kneeling before him.

"You have such a nice girlfriend! How did you do it?"

"I mean... my girl looked like she's about to leave me for another man... how do I stop that?"

"How do you get her so winded? She's so into you, sunbae!"

"She seemed young as well. Please tell us how to get nice girlfriends just like you do!"

"Please, sunbae!"

"TEACH US, SUNBAE!"

It was then Minseok caught his other sunbae, Key, at the corner shaking his head, smiling at him, and disappearing just as quickly.

Minseok certainly did not expect to be a love guru in a place like this, but seeing the young and older men begging him like that he could only nod slowly to the request.

And because of her, his lonely days in the military seemed a little easier to handle as the men bribed and enchanted by her food clung to him and protected him, cheering him up, befriending him, and genuinely respecting him.

_That girl is onto something indeed._

It was clear to him that no forces in the world could stop him from loving her. And for the first time in a long time, he closed his eyes peacefully in his bunk, smiling at the image of her in his mind.

🌷

🌷

"Can't you do it yourself? It's just a little section of the essay."

"The meeting is too early. I'm busy that day."

"Oh, sorry, I couldn't finish it today."

She thought that high school was difficult, but oh, she was so wrong.

Last night, she had to finish the book report and essay on her own and now, her teammates were still unresponsive to her requests. Everything she said was like the words of God. No one really cared if her ideas were right or not. There was practically no discussion. It was about them having nothing to do and she had to do everything they weren't doing.

Jayoung was ready to stab a living being, so she stopped everything for the day and forced herself to take a nap.

But then there was the kitchen.

The kitchen was hectic. Everything around was actually a lot more toxic than she envisioned everything to be.

The head Chef, Yunho, didn't even seem like he was in his mind as he ordered the others to deliver the food. She could almost see the holes in his heart when he called out those dishes, and she wanted to say it out loud and snapped him out of it, but she was just a waiter. Every time, a complaint came around it was always her and the other waiters that had to deal with the shenanigans.

The thing was that the head Chef didn't even cook himself.

She knew she shouldn't judge, but there was something between the owner and the head chef here. They never really looked at each other in the eyes. Each passed and she wasn't sure if coming to work here was even a good thing.

The cooks were disrespectful and whiny while the Chef, Yunho, wasn't even putting his heart into the food anymore. She could see it through the way he put down the plate – wasn't much care when he almost dropped it every single time.

"Yah! Cha Jayoung, the hell are you standing around for?" One of the cooks shouted at her and she couldn't even reply when –

"She's waiting on the other dish. You just do your own thing." Chef Yunho scolded the man, and Jayoung felt a little better.

From what she had seen, Chef Yunho wasn't really harsh on his cooks _emotionally._ The nature of their job was intense. She got the same sense that he and Chef Yixing weren't much different in their regimens and the way they worked, but there was something else about the environment that didn't work out for the old head chef here.

"Here, Jayoung-ah." The man was soft with her and the other waiters, but his food told her that he wasn't really in it for the customers. Something happened. She wanted to know.

"What the? Are you kidding me? I asked for medium-rare!"

Some customers didn't even care about manners and just straight out complained without filters, and she wanted to fall and cry, but she couldn't, she had to stand there and tried to reason with an unreasonable eater before she asked for the owner. And of course, the owner would take the responsibility before the entitled rich lady then dumping it all on her and the Head Chef.

"Where is the owner?" The lady assistant didn't even want to him by his name because it bothered her that much.

"Wow, the menu is big..."

She heard from almost every newcomer to the restaurant. The girl had secretly counted and there were at least 100 recipes on the menu, which was insane compared to how many cooks were actually in the kitchen.

The staff in this were not getting along, and she could tell that the owner was the inciting problem. Everyone here really tried everything they could to make it work, but it seemed like the owner just dumped money on this place and expected all of it to turn into a food galore filled with great customers without actually putting in the work himself. It was insane he was the manager, the owner of this place, and the way he was running this restaurant wasn't how things were supposed to go. It was clearer than day that he had never taken a business class. Or even stepped into the kitchen, she thought. That long list of recipes said everything needed to be said.

What was the point of all of this? How was this restaurant still able to run with everything falling apart everywhere? Why hiring a head chef when he didn't even do the cooking or even do anything else but ordering meaningless words?

_"He's a good friend and a great cook."_

When Chef Yixing recommended this place that she and Minseok had once eaten in, she thought this was going to be the heaven for cooks, but this was the worst. There was no passion in Chef Yunho and now, she wasn't even sure if the old man was even a cook or not. No wonder why there was something off with the food when she ate with Minseok. Now, she knew the full extent of the problem. This was the exact opposite of where she wanted to work and what she wanted to do.

_"He's won competitions and traveled around the world. The best in Korean food."_

Chef Yixing wouldn't lie to her, would he?

But all she saw was a growing old man, pushed to his limit, unable to stand straight or barely shout his own orders anymore.

"Dojun-Sajangnim, a customer complaint." The assistant said it with a pained look on her face, and everyone here knew what was coming.

"Well, why can't all you work harder!? I'm the one who's providing here. I've millions into this restaurant. And you-" suddenly the owner turned to her, "You're.. a girl.. not even doing anything important. Why should I pay you? Try harder, damn it! And you, Yunho-shi, I told you to add the new recipe with the chocolate. Why didn't you do it yet –"

It had been three months working here, and at this point, Jayoung had enough. She didn't care anymore. It was one thing that the manager didn't get involved in, but it was another that he disrespected people.

"You know, Sajangnim, all your talk of working hard, I don't see you do any yourself."

Of course, that drew everyone's attention. The owner couldn't get a word in as he was too busy trying to comprehend the fact that a girl like her was talking back to him.

"You want to know _why_? Why does this restaurant keep get complaints? Well, first of all, what's with the head chef? What's the point of hiring him if he's not even cooking? And there's like 10 people in this place, but your menu has like 150 recipes- you expect that to just work? Do you even know what it's like to be a chef? Have you ever actually been in a kitchen?"

Everyone was quiet at this point, and she was getting louder. All of this time, all of this stress. In college. In this crazy toxic kitchen. He tried to interrupt her, but her voice was too earsplitting to ignore.

"And how dare you look down on your waiters. How dare you! What's the point of hiring them if you're just going to disrespect them for actually doing their job? And Chef," she looked to Chef Yunho was blinking at this point. "I don't know what you can do with a knife, but why don't you cook? Why don't you serve? It's your name on the plate out there."

Again, the owner wanted to say something, but Yunho beat him to it with a tired voice. "I'm not allowed to cook my own food."

"What!?" she was pulling her hair out at this point. "The head chef can't even cook his own food, so that's why the menu is so stupidly long – you know what? I don't care. I quit. This is insane. I quit."

It'd been so taxing. This whole day.

All she wanted now was someone to say she would do fine and that she had done well, but she could only look at her phone screen, staring at the man that was supposed to be here with her. She promised she'd be strong throughout all of this, but it was obvious from the start that all of this was more than an ordeal.

Blinking away her tears, she put on some light makeup that she finally learned to use, entering college and all, but it was only on her face when she really needed to hide her hideous state.

"YAH! CHA JAYOUNG! What the hell do you think you're doing? Screaming at people like it's your fucking restaurant?" The old man eyes were burning daggers. She had never seen Chef Yixing gotten this angry before. "I told you to learn and cook. I'm sure I've never taught to be insolent, have I!?"

She wanted to cry. She wanted Chef Kai and Sous Chef Kyungsoo to step in and block her, but they couldn't. From the end of her eyes, the other five cooks just stood in a row, heads looking staring at the floor just like her.

"Cha Jayoung!? Are you listening?"

"Ye, Chef."

"Don't start calling me Chef, now." She could see the old Chinese hands clenched and unclenched, not wanting to look up to what he might actually look like. "There's a difference between making complaints and straight-out dissing your elders. Heard about being the bad messenger? Even if he delivers a genuine message, as long as it's bad, his head would be put under a sword."

But she couldn't keep everything at bay. Her tears fell effortlessly down her cheeks.

"Why Jayoung-ah? You realized what you've done has me look like a horrible mentor? You must understand that you don't get to complain just because shit goes awry and you can't change it. Even so, you could have asked me for help instead of making _yourself_ look like an idiot! Whatever the fuck you just did there was not, Jayoung, _listen to me_ , what you did was not right. _Got it!?"_

A huge breath in so she could sniff her hiccupping cries and wiped off her flooding teardrops.

"Cha Jayoung, did you know that because of you, the head Chef had a heart attack?"

"Ne?" suddenly, her heart was struck down, and she thought back to the old and unstable looking chef. The guilt built up in her mind. It never occurred to her that her words would be that harmful.

"Chef, that's too far. It's not her fault."

"SHUT UP, KYUNG! She's still apart of it." When Chef Yixing took a step forward, she almost fell back and slightly jumped at the sudden move, which didn't help with calming her down at all. It only made her whimper at his forceful motion. "Do you understand how big this, kid? Do you now understand the magnitude of your words? You think you're doing the right thing, but whatever it is, you could've phrased it better. All of this... **_Son of a bitch_**."

The old chef finally stormed off upstairs and immediately, the others came to her, surrounding her miserable weeping self.

"It's alright..." Chef Kai patted her back, side-hugging her, and she only whined louder as she listened to Tao and Kris probably cursing in Chinese as she was already used to listening to them arguing.

"It's not your fault, Yonggiyong." Chef Chanyeol quickly brought the tissues for her while Sous Chef Kyungsoo stopped her from roughly wiping her face off with the hem of her sleeves.

"Chef is right about your mistake, but I think it's too harsh for him to scold at you like this." Sous Chef's voice cooed her to an even uncontrollable hiccup. She hated every second of this. She didn't want to be out in the open this way, but here she was.

It wasn't even a few minutes and she hadn't even calmed down yet when she got a message from her friend.

**Yah, Cha Jayoung. What the hell did you do? You got an F on the assignment!? Did you see the results the teacher posted? I thought your group was doing well?**

Why did Hari have to send this to her now?

Staring at the message, she stood up and pushed the older cooks away from her.

"Yongyong-ah, don't go. Where are you going?"

"Yeah, stay. We'll cook something nice for you."

Then, the news app that she'd gotten for her international relations class popped up.

**A skirmish at the DMZ. A North soldier is caught entering the border without authorization.**

_No, oppa..._

"Yong-"

"I'm going home."

She did go home to feed the dogs.

She then stepped on the bus and wait for it to end.

The huge oak tree shading her couldn't stop anything from hurting her but the light. The freezing wind of autumn only further shed away at her confidence and strength. The metal bench was cold and uncomfortable. The passing pedestrians did not care about what she was going through.

The words of her chef cut through her soul with sharp edges and he was right. She was in the wrong. Just because of her own discomfort, she did something that embarrassed both Chef and herself.

She hated it. She hated every single second of it. Minseok told her he'd be there for her, but she only had a stupid photograph on her phone, and she hated it. The fact that Minseok left her. She hated it. She had to go through this alone. She hated it. Her parents didn't even talk to her anymore. She hated it.

Right now, everything hurt, and all she wanted was for it to end.

🌷

"Admit it, you didn't like me back then at all."

"I mean..." she sighed, frowning at his pouting. "I don't have a clue to knowing who you were. So yeah... I didn't, but I didn't have anything against you either."

He had been eating her breakfast like he always did.

However, the sun was unforgiving. It burnt him and heated him and all he could do was standing guard. Maybe he shouldn't have been too obedient. Maybe this was a bad idea. He stood out way too much. His mind was always on the edge of slipping away, but thinking about her always brought him back. He tried to remember what Suho had taught him that it would pass. It would all pass.

But the sweat on his skin took too long to dry up. The sun never stopped burning. The heatwave knew none of his heartaches.

He shook his head, trying to think of the familiar taste of the kimbap she'd put so much effort into making. The crinkles in her eyes when she watched him eat.

"Minseok-ah."

"Ne, sunbae."

"You know why you're here?"

"Yes, sir."

Key was adamant in moving him up the ranks. Minseok knew it. Knew that he shouldn't have worked too hard. He had always hated the spotlight. He had always been glad that Suho had been the first child. Minseok loved putting everything he had into the work that he did, but at the same time, the attention he got never really made him any better about what he had achieved.

"Worst comes the worst, then we'll have to move up the DMZ, but let's hope those politicians could use their tongues well."

But could they?

Now, he was manning one of the outposts of the border with the other guards. He should be training with his friends, but this had to happen. The other regimens were moved up to do other missions, and he along with the other soldiers had to pick up the work. The tension had escalated and ran down his stiff muscles with no way of letting go.

He tried not to think about it. He stared into trees, listening to the water flowing, scanning for something not to happen.

"What do you want to do when you come back?" her head resting comfortably on his shoulders, hair cascading down his chest, hands playing with his thick wool sweater.

"Be with you."

"Eh~~ I know that... " the voice smaller and legs squirming. He chuckled at the shy reaction. He had once thought that he was the only one with the bashful response.

"I don't know... Maybe I'll rest for a while." His hand looped around her waist, pulling her closer. The cool strands of her head tickled the nape of his neck, and he took a deep breath, looking out the window to see the snow sprinkling its magic in the coming winter. "I'll see through to it when things are calmer."

The girl looked up to him, eyes big staring holes at his lips. "That's a fancy way to say you'll be unemployed."

"Yah! Cha Jayoung!"

Tickling was never his way of dominance. He had told himself not to do so and stoop as low as Kim Jongdae, but he did, and he was not surprised to find out that she almost hit him in the most vulnerable place imaginable a few times, so he stopped before things got out of hand or else it could have led to him sitting on ice.

It was then that he heard a rustling nearby. Immediately, he was back at the border, scanning his surroundings.

"You heard something, too?"

"You and I check on the perimeter. Minseok and you take the left. The rest of you stay alert and man this entrance."

Each step now meant everything in this job. Minseok took the further left as his partner parted ways to cover the larger area. Everything seemed to be in place. The wind hit the tree, swaying it to its will as the heat never stopped its onslaught of predatory intensity.

He hated every second of the fact that his fingers always had to be on the trigger. The man wasn't ready to hurt anyone, yet everything in his circumstances pushed him the opposite way.

The thick uniform finally rusting itself against his irritated skin. His eyes teared up and blinked at the heatwave. His helmet too stuffy and hard against his head, he could feel every part of his scalp being scraped by the material. His hands clammy and sweating. Every part of his body went into overdrive, sensing all the irritants in all the wrong places.

It didn't take long for his nightmare to come true. He didn't need the scope on his rifle to see those eyes staring at him from the bushes. Minseok slowed his steps, never once raised his weapon.

This was the south and whoever behind that was either a spy, a soldier, or a north defector, but could he risk it?

Another voice broke his attention.

"Hey, did you find anything?"

Minseok gulped. Shouldn't he be saying something?

"Did you- What the!"

The shot was as clear as day. The culprit was on the other side, the north's uniform was more than enough to confirm it, but what about the bush? For now, Minseok ran for cover, trying to drag his friend to safety. It was certainly not okay, but the gunshot was far away from any vitals, so with all of his strength, Minseok ripped off his long sleeve and wrapped over the wounded arm of his comrade, tying up a tight tourniquet.

Now, Minseok had to deal with not one but two forces. He had no idea whoever behind there was still at the same position, but he was sure that the north soldier came for him and Minseok just so happened to be in the middle of it.

"I'm not going to shoot if you back off!" he didn't even know he sounded threatening or not.

But it seemed the soldier was just as inexperienced. There shouldn't be any shooting at all on the DMZ. However, the moment he saw the soldier still raising his gun at him, he knew that it wasn't going to end easily.

He still couldn't really raise his own weapon. All the training he had couldn't really convince him to hurt another man, and he fell back, suddenly feeling drained and tired, but before he completely blacked out, Minseok caught a glimpse of the man in the bush coming out to pick his gun and pull the trigger. 

🌷

"It's been a while. How are you doing?" She smiled at her sister through the glass door. A bunch of white roses in her hands. Quite expensive, but at least it was her last paycheck well-spent. "Me? Not so good."

10:20 am.

For now, she focused on changing the water and the flowers for her sister, trying to ignore the others' soft cries beside her. A pained look Soyoung in her mind and she sighed deeply, unable to comprehend the things her sister must have went through. All alone. This wasn't exactly what she wanted to do, seeing how her sister turned out, but she needed some space. Thinking back, Jayoung had always grown tireless when she remembered a time she could've spent with her sister. Even if it was for a short time.

The fact that it was so easy for her parents to break away from her was expected, but it still brought a pang in her chest. There was something in her heart that had wished they could've at least given her a chance. She understood that the company and money were important, but to the extent to which they went so far to keep the profit was laughable at best. If they had just given her a chance, maybe she could have had that satisfaction of redeeming herself.

Maybe if they had let her, the work that she thrived to achieve may have a lot more weight, but in the end, they got the upper hand like they always do. Taking away her chance.

She sat down on the grass, an innocent-looking bottle filled with soju in her hand, outside and looking at the endless tombstone outside where her sister was. The sky was so clear today. A lot less cloudy.

It was then that she recognized a familiar face walking down the path.

"Chef Yunho!"

It was so natural. She didn't need to think twice about the old man.

She jumped and ran, putting her bottle away in her backpack. The old man seemingly waiting for her stretched his lips to a smile when she was in his sight. His hands clutching a bouquet, standing before a smaller tombstone, his face bare with a soft content expression. His stance was firmer, taller, and maybe just a little more confident. She almost didn't believe that he had a heart attack less than 24 hours ago.

"Chef! I heard you – wow. It's far." Mumbling clumsy words, she tried to stay on her feet as if the run was just a walk through the woods. "I'm sorry. I apologize for my terrible, terrible behavior."

"It's alright."

A few more seconds and she finally registered the fact that the old chef was in the graveyard. He was visiting someone just like she did. And of course, she had to look down to where he was facing.

_Jung Yunseol, 1997-2014._

"I still feel horrible, Chef." The girl bowed as far down as far could, trying to wipe away the remaining smell of the alcohol. This may not have been great timing on her part, but then again, screw timing. At this point, she had to say something.

"No, it's really not your fault, Jayoung-ah." a small croak of his voice almost pushed her towards the edge again. Her eyes hadn't really recovered from the painful flow of her heavy tears, her eyelids evidently drooping, her bags still slightly swollen and darken. She was done with the tears for today. Not ready for more. "I guess I should've walked away from that kitchen a long time ago."

She tried not to look shocked at his gentle yet dry words. He just quitted? What about the other cooks? What about the restaurant? A firm bite down her lips and she just exhaled deeply without much else said.

For a long time, they just stood there, staring down at the little tomb. 2014... a lot of bad things seemed to happen in that year, and since then, it felt like it'd gone downhill from there.

A few more minutes, the old man just bend down and placed the bouquet sown wordlessly. However, it seemed like he couldn't stand back up, so she joined him, crossing her legs, feeling the grass beneath her.

"I don't know when, but... I stopped trying." It was the image of this man suffering all of those years that was now flooding her mind. "I suppose... it's a wake-up call for me."

Silence once more spoke for them both as they sat there. Jayoung, on the other hand, was contemplating if she should take out the homemade kimbab she made for herself and her sister. Maybe, he might take offense at the gesture. However, with the slow frown and the added wrinkles on his forehead, worry spilled across his features.

"Oh, whatever. Chef?"

She took out whatever she had in her backpack. Food for munching on, snacks for stopping the depression, tissues for the tears and occasionally snorts, and of course, her water bottle that was filled with soju.

"My friend, Jimin, had a regimen," The girl then opened each container and pushed her homemade food towards him. "That whatever happened I have to eat food, especially since I want to be a chef so bad, I can't really make excuses to not eat."

Jayoung then picked up a piece of kimbab and ate it while eyeing the old man to join her.

"It's not like my sister can eat this anyway." It was supposed to be delicious, but right now it was difficult to swallow. The rice that had always been so soft against her tongue now slightly burned her pallet. The texture that she had always adored seemed a little less attractive.

A curious stare and the old chef followed her albeit hesitant.

He choked on the first kimbab and of course, Jayoung panicked.

"Oh, no! Why?!" unknowingly she smacked his back with all of her strength, knocking the poor man, again and again, trying to push the kimbab out. "Goodness... how do I do the Heimlich?"

She was ready to hug the man with all of her newly built muscles when –

"I'm fine- fine. Ow. Stop." Turned out the old man was eating it just fine and was just huffing of some sort, but to her, it really looked like his airway was stuffed. "Please stop trying to kill me."

"I'm sorry! I didn't know. You looked so choked up I thought –"

"Whoever your husband is... I pity him."

"Oh, please. _You're_ the terrible one." A final smack at the old chef. "Are you alright though? Chef?"

"I'm good.. just..." he hadn't even swallowed that first piece, his face crunched, and blinked at her. "This is good."

"Ne?"

The old chef then dug into her box of stewed kimchi, something that she had been working on for quite a while since college started.

A small line curved up and for the first time, she saw him bared a small smile on his lips, content and somewhat surprised.

"You said you want to be a chef?" a bite of her Japchae, the translucent noodle stirred fried small cuts of her favorite cucumber, carrots, and onions, something that she had only started to learn. Oh, on. "Wow... this one is a little lacking."

She could tell that the Japchae suddenly broke his mood and she internally screamed at her crazy self.

"Just keep cooking." A long drag of a deep breath and for once, he looked like he was here with her unlike all the time, he spent in the kitchen, floating in another place. "There many things that can distract you, but as long as you remember what it is you want, you never stop growing. Don't give in like I did."

The words were like arrows flying and piercing right through her heart.

Suddenly, her phone rang for the millionth time.

**Chef Kim Kai** **♥**

The old chef nodded her, staring at her phone. "Aren't you going to answer that? He seems like he might be worried."

Well, first, she needed to gather herself together and act like what he said wasn't inspirational, heartwarming, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, or caring at all. Then, she could swipe the call button on her phone to which her sunbae –

"YAH! CHA JAYOUNG!"

" _YAH! CHA JAYOUNG!?_ How many times do I have to hear that!?"

"Shut up, kid! Where the hell are you!? I've been calling like a hundred million times!"

Honestly, she had never heard Chef Kai shouted this loud before. Chef Yunho just quietly chuckled at the shenanigans, hearing every single word, and she didn't even have to put Chef Kai on loudspeakers.

"I'm at my sister's grave! What do you want?!"

"Can't we just talk normally! Stop screaming!"

"You shouted first!"

"Now, now! Where are you? The cemetery, isn't it?"

"oh! What –"

"STAY THERE! You move an inch and I'll personally dig a grave for you to join your sister!"

"BUT SHE'S CREMATED-"

The line went dead.

And the old chef just burst out laughing like full-blown hysterical laughs.

"Aye~~ on the contrary, Chef, he's not worried about me as Exhibit A has shown." Despite her throat almost burst into piece screaming at Chef Kai, she couldn't help burning up from the concern he had for her. Again, she didn't realize how close he would come to care for her.

"I'll stay a little longer then." Chef Yunho leaned back against the tombstone, hand placed gingerly on his son's name. "I have to make sure you don't move an inch."

"Chefs are ruthless, aren't they?" The girl rolled her eyes. "You're great chefs, but you're all terrible role models."

Chef Yunho just cackled at her grumpy self while eating her kimbab.

Of course, she tried to shake it and growled at the old chef. "Nah~ It's bad for my face. If I turn that cranky, people will confuse me for Gordon Ramsey."

"Well, you're getting there."

She knew that was supposed to be a joke, but that still burned her cheeks and made her smile like a fool.

Another five minutes and they could actually start to see a figure familiar to her forming and fast approaching.

"Wow. There he is." Chef Yunho then picked himself up and dusted his clothes before returning her a smile, one that wasn't burdened with all the pain he had to shoulder. "Just put some more sugar in that Japchae. When you cook a dish that requires separating, don't leave it on the stove too long, both the noodles and vegetables because you still need to cook it to mix it at the end. Also, the trick I like to use is when cooking the noodles alone, add some salt and a bit of sugar. Makes the strands more tasteful that way."

And he walked off like that, but for a few steps, he turned back.

"Oh, right. I'd like it better if you choose a better kind of sesame seeds." A soft gaze at down Jayoung, who was still trying to process the information, sitting there star-struck at the old chef. "I'm sure _he,_ " he motioned at Chef Kai who was actually closing in, running across the graveyard like that in his Chef uniform. "can tell you where get good ones."

And like that, Chef Yunho was gone, disappearing down the mist of green blades of the grass and the many tombstones.

"Yah, Cha Jayoung..."

Chef Kai kneeled and fell over, head and body sweaty, trying to catch his breath, chest heaving so loud she thought he was actually a dying goat.

"You... had... me..." a long heavy gulp and Jayoung just calmly hand him her bottle of soju. "Why... thank you.."

Of course, she was thrown into a laughing fit when Chef Kai started to choke on her soju.

"WHAT! You nasty alcoholic kid!" some of it went up to his airway, so the man had to sit up and blow his nose. "Man, this is good soju."

When Chef Kai finished her soju in one go and finally brought her into a tight hug, she knew that it wasn't all that bad and leaned into his embrace, trying not to cry. 

🌷

🌷

It was claustrophobic. With Chef Kim Kai there, walking around and judging her, she couldn't help fidgeting in her heat. The glints in his eyes and suddenly, his vision clear and predator like when he glared back at her.

A hard slam on the table.

"WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT BEFORE THE INCIDENT?!"

"Um... home?"

"Oh." Chef Kim Kai took a moment to think before – "WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT AFTER THE INCIDENT?"

"Here?" The girl just shook her head, trying to knead her lumpy brain back into gear. "Do you even know how to interrogate, Chef?"

"Where were you the night **of** the incident?" he asked quietly this time. And as soon as she nodded, the chef just wailed, "WHERE WERE YOU THE NIGHT OF THE INCIDENT?"

Jayoung just smiled and sipped her tea, her ears burning, her eyes crinkling at the chef who was adorably trying to scare her. "I just took a bus to my sister. Walked around a bit and decided to eat when I found Chef Yunho and apologized."

A long sigh and Chef Kai giggled before leaning over to her and ruffling her hair.

They were back in Chef's restaurant. The old Chinese was out with the others to gather the ingredients, but Chef Kai had reassured her that they didn't even want to work without knowing about her condition. It didn't take long for Chef Yixing to get over it, but she must have freaked everyone out because according to Chef Kai, "They were bumping into each other all around. The synergy was off. Mostly, Chef."

The guilt immediately crept back in her mind when her sunbae shook his head and added, "Chef is always like that. When he's bothered, everything just ... well, it's off, and we'd get caught in the crossfire."

Now, she was left jobless. The girl barely rose to the ranks of a waiter before cleaning so many dishes, and it was gone in that second. She was back at the start. Moreover, the grades in her college started to get her once the soju finally wore off. Of course, Minseok... she completely forgot about him all this time. Oh, no... What Chef Yunho said about letting yourself get distracted and leaving the most important things untouched –

"Jah!" the raspy voice of Chef Kai startled her. The man then stood up and took off his jacket before calling her over. "Change into Kyung's Uniform."

" _Kyung?_ "

"Oh... we're pretty close." He even got keys to Sous Chef's locker. That must be something. "What? Do we look like we wouldn't get along?"

A shrug of her shoulders.

"Well, don't think about that." The man stood before her, proud in his white chef uniform that fit and his curves and muscles. Hers, on the other hand, was still loose. It was Sous Chef's after all. She had to work hard to get her own uniform. "Let's cook something. Have anything in mind?"

For a split second, she was back in Minseok's old house, trying to keep quiet as she heard the man arrived home late. She could hear his footsteps and the clinks of the plates entering the studying and she would feel somewhat scared and safe at the same time. Perhaps, he always ate in the study and she just happened to sleep there, but then she remembered that he hadn't been using it much. Nor did he eat much at all before they met.

She looked back at Chef Kai with a knowing smile.

All afternoon, they switched back and forth between tasks. Chef Kai was always showing off his knife skills, but of course, he also never forgot to show her how. The man was a lot more patient with her than Chef Yixing, who always demanded her understanding of the concept swiftly.

Finally, the dish was put together. The noodles still fresh from the boiler blended with the cooked meat and vegetables, and to top it off, Chef Kai beat her to it.

"This is the best seeds in town, kid." He wiggled the small bottle of sesame seeds and her eyes watered. "What? Are you okay?"

"Alright. It's perfect." Once more, Chef Kyungsoo's shirt was dampened by her tears.

"Right, I think this Japchae's done." That huge smile of his never failed to cheer her up. "Oh, look who it is –"

"YAH! CHA JAYOUNG!" the other chefs shouted in unison while Chef Yixing was the prominent one and really ran to her when she shrieked in horror as the old Chinese went and picked her up by the shoulders and swung her around like he'd found his old childhood dog (that perhaps he was going to eat later). "There you are! I miss you so much!"

"Oh, Christ, Chef. Put her down." Sous Chef tried to intervene, but she accidentally swayed her foot right into his pretty face, earning a small broken 'wae?' from the sous chef.

"Shit, man down!" Chef Chanyeol immediately tried to block her feet from Kyungsoo's face, but she couldn't help cackling and heaving like a maniac with Chef Yixing who was still swinging her around and up and down.

"God, I thought you jumped off a bridge!"

"It's too far from here."

"Well, if you had, I would have drowned you for being offended at my words!"

She was confused with these chefs' backward logic. "Chef, I've been through worse. I just went to see my sister. No big deal."

"Oh, you..." finally, putting her down, he scooped her into a tight hug like he always did with Minseok. "I'm sorry, but that needed to be done."

"It's fine. You get to scold me however much you like, Chef."

"Hey, something smells good." Chef Tao spoke up and despite the cold exterior, Chef Kris was already digging in the food before everyone else. "Hey, you pig! Stop!"

"I'm hungry. Fuck off."

Of course, the others just laughed and picked their own bowls to eat the Japchae she and Chef Kai had just made while Chef Chanyeol tended to Chef Kyungsoo and his red forehead. The Sous Chef just waved it off and patted her head for doing her best. Soon, Chef Kai sat next to him and helped with the ointment.

From this angle, Sous Chef looked like a hurt child and his parents, Chanyeol and Kai, tried their best to contain the collateral damage.

For the next month, the girl just focused on her college, trying to get her grades back up. Chef Kai surprisingly stepped in to teach her a few things about cooking to which Chef Yixing thanked him for. The old Chinese couldn't really keep teaching her forever. Plus, her shifting schedule as a college student just rendered him unable to help her anymore, so her sunbae, Kai just volunteered.

"My goodness. Such atrocity." The first words he said when stepping into her house.

"Um, thank you?"

"The dogs are the only things redeemable in this place. Oh, hi, doggie!" the man bent down to play with Chenchen and Chan with his cute little face. Her eyes rolled, trying hard not to imagine her dogs just ambushing the man and tear off his flesh alive – she shook her head. _Must control anger._

He sighed and took off his jacket, putting it on the cloth rack before looking around.

The house didn't really look that bad, did it? She hadn't cleaned it in a while, yes, but it hadn't fallen apart yet, no? The blue of the walls brought her back to when Minseok showed her the house for the first, knowing it was her favorite color.

"You're putting things in inconvenient places, Yonggiyong."

"Aish~ You're like what? A house inspector?" she threw her backpack on the couch and followed him to the kitchen.

"It helps to save a lot of time when you start cooking, Yong. It may only be a few seconds, but they add up." Then, he suddenly stopped, her face ramping into his back. "And you're short, so why do you put _this_ up here?"

There were a few new kitchen knives that she'd bought weeks ago but hadn't gotten to them. "It's temporary –"

"Well, it's a workplace hazard, idiot."

A hard flick on her forehead. "Ow."

So that whole evening, Jayoung under Chef Kai's command moved everything and basically renovated the kitchen, changing the locations of most appliances and getting yelled at for leaving stuff at dangerous places.

"You can't have this _right next to a microwave_!"

The whole time, Chef Kai almost fainted every time he found something incriminating and hazardous. With his hand waving in front of his face and trying to catch his breaths, he just took a seat and laid his head flat on the kitchen table.

"Goodness... how are you still alive at this point?"

It was then that he stared at the wall for too long that caught her attention. Turning to where interested the man, Jayoung leaned back against the counter and took a deep breath.

"He's almost back, you know. Just a few more months." Five to be exact. "Aren't you going to visit?"

"Ne, in two weeks." The last visit was more than a year ago, and so far she was amazed that she was still alive. The anticipated crawled at her skin and just as quickly her heartstring was tugged in all the wrong place when she wanted to see him right now at this moment. The _family_ portrait that they didn't help at all. It only made her yearn for him even more, but what exactly did she want? That stubbornly reluctant man never kept her at peace. All of the time, as soon as her mind wandered to him, everything else disappeared and she didn't know if she should stay still and wait for him.

"Jah~~" Chef Kai started stretching all of a sudden. "Go change into your workout clothes."

"Eh?"

With a condescending look from the man, she just groaned and ran upstairs to quickly put on her _exercise_ attire which was just some yoga pants and a t-shirt. Back in the kitchen, she found the chef in his sleeveless tee and the tight jeans he always wore.

"Umm... are we cooking?"

"We'll get there. Now, start stretching."

No questions asked and even when he started to put on some upbeat music, she just watched him and followed him with the bending.

"Uh... are we dancing?"

"Sure. Why not?"

For the next week, they were just practicing a dance routine of a boy group, whatever their name was, who had some pretty good music to dance to. She tried asking why, but the chef just made her dance.

"Move your arms quicker. Come on. Up." Then, he swung his arms around so fast she thought they were bullets. To be honest, he looked really good, dancing. And he seemed to be professional at it. It took her a while to realize that he might be a really really good dancer.

All of these huge steps and wide motions, ballet-like but flash mob-like all at the same time. It was tearing her thigh muscles apart. The sit-ups and the stand-ups were straining on her feet and her legs, but the chef just kept on pushing her.

"Why are we dancing..." laying on the floor, she tried to gather herself. Her chest heaved up and down, trying to catch up. The first days were torturous as her muscles were super stiff and sore. Now, she was getting used to it, but it was still clucky to her.

"Up."

He motioned her to stand back up and the moment she finally did, his huge hands then decided to push her left shoulder so hard she thought it was going to be dislodged. A step back and a hand on where she had been attacked, the girl glared at him.

"Chef? What the –"

Again, he suddenly jumped forward to which she jumped to the side before his huge muscles landed in her face, and of course, he had to nudge his elbows right in her side, sending her off balance, but she caught herself before falling and standing in a defensive mode.

"Chef! Are you trying to kill me –"

"The bottle's not screwed shut. Catch!" and off the hot sauce went in the air and flying towards her.

With a scream, she stepped forward to grasp it before the glass bottle landed and shatter everything. And just barely, she caught it by the lip of the bottle with some of the substance spilled on her face. "Chef! Are you crazy –"

Of course, he had to also bump into her, which was basically pushing her to the ground. In retaliation, her grip tightened around the lip of hot sauce, making sure the sauce didn't spill, and she did fell but rolled over and landed back on her feet.

"Would you please stop for a second!?"

"Hmm... not bad." Chef Kai nodded at her and went to the bathroom to clean himself up, leaving her dumbfounded at what just happened.

The girl was still in shock that a grown man had just attacked her. Her heart had only started to slow down its crazy commotion. The girl viciously glared at him when he came back out to turn off the music.

"What?"

"What was that?"

"Well, didn't you see?"

"See what?! I almost died!" roughly washing her hands and her face of the hot sauce of anger, she kept her sharp needle stare at the mischievous chef.

"You didn't die. That's the point."

A raised brow.

Chef Kai, of course, sighed and proceeded to speed towards her to which she immediately twirled herself and stepped back from his pathway. She still looked at him funny when he threw her a cucumber out of nowhere and she managed to grab it even though it was far off her head; she jumped toward the flying cucumber and threw it right back at the Chef's face out of frustration, but at the last second, he caught it with his hands so easily.

"Wow, you actually caught that." She muttered quietly. It was a long silence before she finally got what was going on. "Wait a minute..."

"You're terrible at reflexes, Jayoung-ah. In the kitchen, you always bump into the cooks and very clumsy with fragile stuff." Again, with his motion, Kai then reached for her face out of the blue, and she turned away and backed up against the kitchen counter with ease. "I saw you almost flipping the plates a few times while you were serving the customers." This time, she knew his hand was going to do the flick at her forehead again, but she ducked and slipped past the huge man, leaving him smiling at her. "But I guess... you won't be struggling as much anymore."

Blinked and blinked and blinked.

"Oh."

"There are many other ways to boost your reflexes, but I feel like this is the most enjoyable one. I mean we get to just dance, you know?" A cute wink from the chef, and out of the blue, a water bottle flew from below and the girl just seized it in her hands without much thought at all. "You still got a long way to go, but this is some improvement I suppose."

With his jacket on, he opened the door to leave when –

"AHH!!"

A spider, which she realized a little too late that was just plastic, landed on her face, and out of _reflex,_ she smacked her own face. Perhaps a little too hard.

"Yeah.. a really long way." The chef just burst out laughing and ran off swiftly before getting smacked with her sneakers that she launched at him.

That night, she stayed in awe at what her own body was capable of and tried to fall asleep with an ice pack on her forehead.

🌷

His left side was more than a burden on his heart. He blankly looked at the cast on his left leg being suspended by the white cloth when all of a sudden he was moved to a seemingly empty room with arms hooked on the lie detector.

The general before him was asking him questions, but all he could about was his leg. His hands smoothed over the wheelchair supporting him, his eyes wandering here and there, trying to grasp what he was seeing.

Questions upon questions bombarded at him and Minseok could only say so much.

It was horrifying to know that the soldier that followed got shot and had passed away soon after despite his help. The strange thing was he was seen as the 'hero' as he had shot the North Korean from invading, but he didn't remember shooting anyone. Certainly, the tension had escalated, but it was contained right after there were talks being issued.

His bullets were proof that he had shot the man, but Minseok was sure that he wasn't the one. However, that was the one detail he couldn't recall. Still, this was none of his concern as the fact was he wasn't in a lower rank military hospital, but he was treated in a special treatment sector. What was worse was no knew of his injuries.

"Do you remember anything else?"

He looked up to the person questioning him. He knew clearly what had happened, but to him, it was still unclear. If anything, he wasn't the one who shot the soldier, it must be whoever it was that was hiding in the bush. He still recalled his gun being snatched away from him. He had the choice. Minseok blinked and blinked. His breathing remained calm, his eyes stayed tired, his mind reeling to a stop.

"No, sir."

"Well," there wasn't much movement on the lie detector. "You must have gone out after retaliated."

Back in the hospital, Minseok was frozen in place. Why did lie to the higher-ups? There were reports of a north defector, and he wasn't just any civilian either. The man used to be secret police working under the North's leader, and Minseok had just protected him. Why did he do that to his own country? Now, there was a potential spy he had just led into the country. At the back of his mind, Minseok prayed that what he did was a good thing.

The man hiding there could have killed before the soldier, but Minseok remembered now that he took out the threat for him.

_"Please. All I need is for you to trust me."_

Minseok didn't even understand why he was pushed forward to the DMZ either. Whatever operation the south was doing he had no idea, but this was something man to man couldn't handle. The man then bent down to help out with his leg that had been shot.

_"You'll be fine... Minseok-shi."_

Weeks later. He felt a little better. Just a little.

His left hand gripped his wooden crutch so hard he swore he could've broken it in half. Sitting down in his office, Minseok placed the crutch nearby as he went back to typing on the computer. Due to his injuries and perhaps, permanent crook, he couldn't really serve the military physically anymore. Perhaps, that was for the best. He was moved to working in the office. This was a place he was familiar with when he remembered the voice of the girl...

_"Why can't you just be a translator?"_

He shook off her voice. This wasn't the perfect time to think of her. He had to record all of the activities, being in charge of the soldier's visitation, leaves, and their personal data.

3:15 pm.

"Sunbae..." one of the soldiers that he had trained with stepped into his office. A fond smile on his face. He had helped the kid winning over his girlfriend's heart just months ago, but to him, it had been way too long. "Your brother is here."

The rapid typing stopped.

"Ms. Jayoung is also here."

His fingers trembled. His eyes glazed over and shut. A huge lump to swallow as he peeked at the crutch next to him and looked down at his leg. Still in a cast.

"Minseok-sunbae?"

He knew the younger wanted to say something.

He tried moving his leg, but it was made him whimper.

"Tell them... I'm not available."

"But –"

"Please." Pleading eyes towards the younger. Minseok wasn't ready. Not ready to see her. Not like this.

"Then... I'll be sure to bring her food to you, sunbae."

The younger was certainly disappointed in him, but guilt-tripping eyes weren't enough to make him move.

Later in the evening, he came out of the bathroom to the packaged food by his bedside. Minseok looked around to see if anyone were there to tell him, but it seemed like everyone hated him for doing this to her. A small smile. She only showed up twice, and she had won all of the soldiers' hearts.

His hands pressing against the wall, dragging his feet forward, trying to get to his bed without the crutch. And slowly, he took a seat, opening up the package.

There was something different in there. Japchae and her homemade kimbap. Minseok wondered if she had fed the soldiers like the last time. He took out the lunchbox when a small paper fell off.

**I'm always waiting. Please come back.**

At that moment, all the tears he had hidden all of this time fell. His hands clutched his thighs, his head hung low, lips clamped shut, trying not to make a noise. He remembered the time and the mental strain that it had taken him to write that sentence. The guilt he had during back when he had to live with her forcefully. He had the audacity to ruin a family and fall in love with the youngest child who wasn't even fully adult yet. Every day that fact killed him every second. Every moment of his living being breathed, he was walking with more than he could handle, but he couldn't really admit it, not even to himself.

But now, he was out of her sight. He got the time to think. She got the time to think. She had all the chances to leave him. But she still stayed.

For some reason, he secretly and guiltily admired the soldiers that were dumped by their girlfriends. He couldn't live with himself, going through this. And now, he was ... crippled.

He wanted so bad to hold her like he always had more than ever, knowing her feelings, knowing that she wrote the same thing he did, but at the same time, he didn't want anything with her.

A man like him could never make her happy. 

🌷

"You're smart, kid," Chef Yixing joined her a little late on the visitation. "These are great potential customers."

"Wow, all you see is money." She rolled her eyes while feeding her brother in law her Japchae in front of other grown soldiers. "I want to feed them because I want to. That's it."

"Hey, I see a career for you. That's it." The old man had her frowning at him, but she was actually blushing at the idea more than embarrassed. "What? Don't believe me? Excuse me, fellow soldiers, but if my pretty student here, Cha Jayoung, opens a restaurant in the future, will you come to eat?"

"NE!!!" a loud boom of agreement almost pierced through her ears and right through her heart, but she stayed composed.

"If possible, I want to work for you!"

"We'll be regulars there!"

Once the soldiers turned back to their own tasks, Chef Yixing nudged her. "See? You're getting somewhere."

"Hey, don't ignore me!" Suho chirped in with his mouth still waiting for her to feed him.

"Omo! You're disgusting, here." It was at that moment that Chef Yixing decided that he had enough with her brother in law and took the chopsticks, feeding the old man himself. "How are you a CEO?"

With a mouth full of Japchae, Suho almost choked but still managed to say, "I can say the same to you? How are you a Head Chef?"

Ten minutes listening to old men whining at each other about how the other was more childish while stuffing food into one another's mouth to shut each other up, and her ears were about to bleed.

"I'm sorry." One of the soldiers approached them.

"Ne?" She had a bad feeling about this.

"Minseok-sunbae isn't available."

Chef Yixing was quick to follow up with, "What do you mean? What happened to him?"

"He's still recovering from his injuries and he asked not to be disturbed."

The next day, she was out of it.

It was as if her soul wasn't in her.

"Taemin, Jayoung, Taemin, Jayoung! Taeyoung! Taeyoung!"

Ship chants.

The girl tried to ignore it even the real Taemin was quite annoyed by the pairing made by her classmates. All they did was one assignment together with some questionable polite acts towards each other and everyone started to spread it like wildfire. This was something that highschoolers still do, but then again, most of them were freshmen like her.

"Why don't you two just date?"

"Look so good together!"

"Bitch, get off Taemin or I will end you."

It was getting overwhelming each day. Pointless support and hate.

The popular girl in the class came to her, asking if she was dating him and she had to say no five times to make sure it would get stuck in their brains, but the pestering persisted.

Her hands shaking, her feet trembling, her eyes glazed, her ears unable to block all of the gossips behind her back.

Suddenly, from her chair, she stood up, not caring if it startled anyone, passing Taemin who gave a courtesy smile, which others found that _cute._ Well, he was being polite. He was trying to suffocate her with his charms.

Her legs storming towards one of her lecturers' offices.

"Can I get a day off, Madam?"

As soon as she let off, Jayoung booked it. It was a good idea to try to be a good student. The perks.

Her mind boggling, pain swirling in her chest while she looked around aimlessly at anywhere but school. Her fingers itched and she looked down to her free hands. Free of labels. Empty.

Her heart rattled and her eyes watered.

She had to get something. Anything. Anything.

So she walked and walked and walked, not caring to wipe the tears in her tired eyes.

She didn't know how long it had been. She knew that the shop before she had what she needed.

"Good evening, Miss. Is there something you're particularly looking for?" The man greeted her politely and she had to calm her shattering heart down to get an answer out.

"Couple rings."

She couldn't stand it. Not being with him, and now having to be shipped with another man only made it worse.

She wasn't anyone else's. She was his. And he was hers. That was the way it should be.

She didn't care what happened to him. It had to be Minseok. Not anyone else. 

Staring at the two small silver rings now adorning her ring fingers, she sunk into her pillow, arms clutching on to her blankets, back strained on the windowsill with Chenchen and Chan below her snoring comfortably. The times when he would play with the dogs without any worries, laughing and crying at how should be. She wanted that back. She wanted it to go back like how it used to be. How it was supposed to be.

She looked forward to the day when he would hold her like she was his once more, remembering the time she was safe in his arms without all the restraints. Like how it should be.

🌷

She didn't want to count the days anymore.

The changing season ensued. Her closet was all emptied and refilled with something new. Her hair dyed.

"Omo! Kim Kai! Cha Jayoung!"

The other chefs seemed taken aback by their new looks. Chef Kai decided that his hair needed some flare and painted his hair bright pink like her best friend Jimin had previously adorned, which actually looked dazzling on the man. Jayoung who went with him thought pink reminded herself of something special, but not to copy her chef's homework without paraphrasing, she went for a darker shade with purple highlights that now brought out the devil in her eyes.

"A bunch of unicorns just entered my restaurant." Immediately, Chef Yixing crowded her and Chef Kai, poking and lifting their new strands of colorful hair. Anything colorful always attracted the old man, drawing him in like a moth flying blindly towards the lights. "Both of you need protection."

Chef Kyungsoo and Chef Chanyeol also came to inspect the new colors, silently awing at how well it turned out. Chef Kris and Chef Tao, on the other hand, didn't give two shits about anything.

"Hey, Kai-ah..." Chef Chanyeol started when the others left, leaving the three of them alone. She could tell at that moment that Chef Kai's heart just leaped out of his chest as evident on his surprised face, eyes genuinely shocked. "Wow, did I surprise you that much?"

"No, it's alright. What is it, Chan-ah?"

Oof. That sounded exactly how she called her dog, but she wasn't going to tell them that.

"I was thinking about you – two – umm..." Before Chanyeol added 'Two,' she swore Chef Kai lighted up like a firework. "I wanted to propose to my girlfriend. And I didn't know who else to ask, so... Can you help set it up?"

It was tragically amazing how the first expression that Chef Kai showed at the statement was happiness. Like genuine happiness. Her eyes blinked. The girl stood there, watching the two grown chatted with one another as they'd always been best friends. Well, they were but... not even one second did she see that pain that was supposed to show on Chef Kai's face. His voice high and his gestures big, his words congratulating the other man and showering him with promises he would keep.

"It's alright if you can't join, Yongg –"

"I'll go." Her eyes met Chef Kai's with worry, but all the man returned was a coy smile and a wink.

That proposal night, Chef Kai had on his Chef uniform while she put on her seemingly normal waitress attire. Her mind screamed at the fact that for so long, she had been a waitress and nothing else, but right now, this wasn't really the problem.

Her hands followed closely to Kai's, copying his every move, moving away when he stepped forward, the two of them working together in sync, but when she caught a glimpse at how beautiful Chef Chanyeol's girlfriend was, Jayoung just shook, her hands started trembling, her eyes blurred, her mind fragile, the girl broke down in tears, leaning against the counter.

"Wh- what? Yong? What happened? Did you burn yourself?" Chef Kai stopped everything, turning off the stove before coming to her side.

"How are you... how do you..." biting down her lips, she only wailed harder when Chef Kai's hands came to pat her back, holding her close. "Aren't you hurt, Chef?"

But it seemed like the man refused to show her anything. His expression stayed worried, his mind on her instead of himself, not caring about his own pain. After a long breath, he said "Don't worry about me. Take care of yourself."

"But- but... shouldn't you tell him?"

Finally, something flashed in his mind. She could feel his hands went slack at her words for a second before going on to comfort her. A dry laugh, she could almost hear his soul being torn apart. "If you want me to tell him that much, I will."

"Really?"

"but not now." The look in his eyes. She knew that Chef would never lie to her. If they couldn't be together, he should at least let him know. "Can you stand?"

And the cooking went on like normal. The two of them watched the couple chatting and having a good time from the kitchen counter while Chanyeol would turn to look at them appreciatively. From time to time, she would chop the vegetable a little too hard as she stared at the woman feeding the snacks to Chef Chanyeol so sweetly, and Chef Kai would just chuckle at her childish actions.

"Why are you getting jealous? You're not even me."

The problem was he gave up.

Chef Kai just stopped.

All he did was watch the other chef from afar, never really attempt to get close.

The next morning, after school, Jayoung stretched and waited for the bus before a familiar figure stepped out of a car she knew to be his. She blinked and blinked and when he turned around, she knew that it was him. No other. He was in his suits again, his hair swept up like always. Her heart beat and broke when he smiled and walked towards her.

"Oppa?"

She was there, arms open ready for the hug.

But the embrace never came.

The man just kept walking. Past her.

And when she turned around to him having Rion in his arms, her legs wobbled. The needles in her heart. The fire in her eyes. The winter in her empty hands.

"NO!!"

3:47 am.

She sat awake that night and never went back to sleep. 

🌷

🌷

The wind felt different today. The pavement seemed a little brighter, the sun braver with its shine, the air filled with the heavenly sound of people just passing by. The annoying assignment on her mind she managed to brush it off with Chef Kai's image comforting her in the kitchen. Maybe, at some point, she could work with both Chef Kai and Chef Yixing, her two most favorite chefs in the whole world. Her hands red and burned from carrying so much book as she waited for the bus.

Only then, a familiar figure stepped out of a Mercedes Benz and her eyes rolled- not wanting to see what was going on around her.

"Yah, Yongguyongyong~~"

Such an old CEO doing such a cringingly annoyingly cute face. Really she couldn't look away. Voices talked, but her eyes trained on her brother in law.

"ne?" said Jayoung nonchalantly, ignoring the fact that he was opening the door for her.

"How dare you, insolent child! Step into my Mercedes or I will end you."

"Hmm... what's the police number again?"

Of course, it seemed like her classmates had picked on the cue and started whispering 'sugar daddy' to which she almost puked.

"Aha~~ I see... I'm your sugar –"

"Shut up or I will cook you." Her words final, and Suho gulped visibly, walking back for her to take her time and enter his car.

It was a silent ride. Then, she realized that she hadn't asked about where they were going. Glances were stolen here and there. She concluded that the old man wanted to say something with his hands and fingers tapping the wheel anxiously – an action she rarely saw the confident CEO did. His collar twisted and with his scratching finger his pulled back his tie, eyes finally meeting her halfway.

"I don't want to ask how you're doing ..."

Her eyes just trained on the sidewalk blurring past her glazed vision. Her pinkish hair was the only thing that was bright at the moment. The soft reflection purple of her highlight cascading down her shoulders burned into her brain – her head pressed against the window, her forehead reddened from the pressure.

"Do you still love him?"

Eyes widen. Ears perked up. Heart stopped. Fingers trembled.

Slowly looked back to Suho whose face was filled with worry – genuinely curiously of what her answer was.

"Is it not obvious enough?" She didn't mean to sound bitter. It was her puberty. Her voice no longer tender. The vocal cords bent and twisted her once innocent tone – her timbre now thicker, her voice hoarse but with a small hint of silky softness that was hard to find unless one listened closely.

Realizing how harsh she sounded, the girl cleared her throat. These days she had to remind herself to 'tender' her tone, but at the moment, it was more than difficult to focus on anything else but Suho.

"I'm sorry if that was a little too much. It's just... Minseok was really good at convincing himself. At one point, I kind of fell for it, too, but I know you wouldn't just... change your mind, right?"

Her legs stiff on the soft cushion.

"Kim Suho-shi."

Now, his eyes widened. And she could see his hands suddenly tightened on the wheels as he shyly gasped, "omo."

"I had tolerated that man for half a year – no matter how awkward everything was and even when he was giving me mixed signals, I still kept calm – never wavering until... I found out that _that_ was his way of _loving_ someone to which I responded with more or less the same affection, but then, it seemed like you two went behind my back and signed him up in the conscription,"

It was as if Suho could hear knives being sharpened at the back of his head. Suddenly, it didn't feel very safe being alone with Cha Jayoung anymore.

"I still kept calm and tried to sympathize because maybe, he thought it was a good idea to go then rather than waiting around for things to get tougher and I definitely get it."

She could the old man fidgeting in his seat, but she kept eye contact even if he was avoiding her intense gaze at the moment – something that reminded her of her distant lover.

"And now... I'm waiting for him. For one year, nine months, two days, and perhaps 3 hours."

Now, Suho wasn't really looking at her. Eyes blinking. Shoulders tensed. Lips shut. Sweat seemingly forming.

"Do I look like I'm 'giving up on him'?"

Immediately, his head shook aggressively – afraid that if he was too still, she would confuse him with a dead chicken ready to be chopped up on the board.

Silence ensued.

Suho watched the girl 'politely' bowed at him and muttered gratitude for picking her up from school. The front door opened to reveal the two dogs that were excitedly jumping up and down at her, but it looked like she just kept walking nonchalantly – not noticing the dogs' affection.

A huge sigh left his lips. His eyes back on the road while he tried to process what just happened.

It was obvious how _different_ Jayoung was. Then again, she was never different in the first place – just a little _tamed._

He had to do something.

Especially to his own brother.

Maybe this was a better idea to go and pick up Minseok alone as he watched his own brother limped towards him with a weak smile – his hand clearly clutching the wooden crutch a little too hard. Before Minseok could shoot himself down as he would always do, Suho crushed his little brother a hug so heavy even he himself was heaving.

"Ow-ow, hyung." The man laughed into his ears as he struggled to return his hyung's embrace. His soldier cap falling off and he felt a little better with Suho's close to him. "You're killing me."

"Be appreciative. I just wasted my CEO time for your sorry ass."

For once, Suho's eyes were teary and Minseok was more than surprised. It'd been such a long time since he saw his brother shed a tear. From time to time, he would hear the older man hiccup in his sleep and distant whimpering from the other room, but he never really saw him break down before his eyes – always the strong brother he was, never really wanted to make Minseok worry.

So, Minseok knew not to say stupid things.

"Here. Let me help." Suho got himself together pretty quickly and took away his backpack and let Minseok walk with his own support comfortably.

It was a few steps in and Minseok just had to be curious.

"What about her?" to which Suho turned.

There was something in his brother's eyes that Minseok couldn't really decipher.

"She's home."

He should be feeling extremely guilty for returning this way. Not himself no longer. But no matter how hard his mind told him not to go to her, his heart somehow let his lips mutter, "I want to see her."

"Of course, you do..." A breathy laugh from Suho. His brother looked proud out of the blue when he uttered the words. His smile soft – from faint dimple to dimple – eyes crinkled with something Minseok couldn't tell. "Promise me you won't run away from her when you see her?"

A raised eyebrow. Suho voiced exactly what his coward mind was thinking of doing, but being called out like that had him a little flustered. His own words then tried to challenge his own stubborn heart. "Why would I do that?" sadly he couldn't hide his nervous laugh. "I've come so far for her."

"Alright then."

6:15 pm.

Now Minseok was standing before the front door.

"I swear to god, Kim Minseok, if you don't knock on that shit, I will fucking –"

"Okay! Okay! Jees..." Minseok cleared throat, still frowning at Suho who was actually showing off this frustrating side for the first time in a long time. "Just... I need some time."

Normally, Suho would scold him even much worse than this, but perhaps his crippled state softened his supposed to be coarse words.

Minseok thought about it. Straightening his back. Hands smoothing over his short hair. Trying to stand a little taller. His grip loosened on the crutch a little. He wanted to ask for Suho's answer when he turned to the older brother who was now looking back at him with a fond expression. He knew exactly what he was thinking. It was the same look that Suho always gave him when it was okay to speak, when it was okay to start his presentation, when it was okay to play, when it was okay to get away with breaking his favorite toys, when it was okay to damage some of his Naruto manga collection. And Minseok's heavy heart felt a little lighter.

The thing was Minseok didn't even get to knock when a ball of fluffy pink hair flooded his vision.

"Chenchen, if you don't stop destroying toilet papers, I _will_ send you to Chef Yixing."

It was still the same feeling.

He shouldn't be feeling this. It had been so long. He thought that his antagonist self would reject her and let her be, but his own stupid crazy just couldn't stop itself. He could tell that she grew a little taller. Her arms were a lot lankier. Her eyes now heavier with darkened exhaustion on her expression. Her hair. Her hair messier than he had ever seen, but that still didn't stop his mind from going haywire at the sight of her before him.

"Yah, Chan-ah, you want some..."

The trash in her hands dropped.

It'd been so long since their gaze met.

He still looked as handsome as ever. The sturdy build was even more prominently than the last time she saw him. His features sharpened and she could his cheekbones protruding in such a way that was now searing at her fragile heart.

And that hair.

In one second, she was poking at his cheek, giggling at the feel.

"Hmm."

A lot rougher.

This time, she let her hand wander further.

All of his crippling thoughts went away when her fingers carded through his short military cut. Suddenly, he felt it even much worse. It was worse than missing her, worse than not being able to see her. Leaning in, he returned the action – his right hand gingerly tracing the pink of her hair – reminding him of the beautiful cherry blossoms, reminding him when he truly fell for her.

When she finally let her weight pressed against him, arms tightening his back, her fingernails slightly clawing his sides making his mind burned with a fever, he almost fell over, trying to readjust his crutch and supporting his own weigh on his left hand.

She could feel it. Those heartbeats. So erratic. And she knew that his heart beat for her, making her get closer, closer, and closer. Her hands trailed back up his hair and down his back, feeling the new muscles she had anticipated for so long. Breathing in the dirt and musk that clung to his body.

Minseok, of course, blinked, trying to keep his gasp down to a small hum. He didn't remember Jayoung liked having her fingernails this long, but they were really making him uncomfortable. The hair on his skin stood up, shivers racing down his spine, his grip in her long hair tensed.

It was then that she pulled back that he saw a very _very_ different aura in her. He could almost melt in her stare as she blinked vacantly at his lips.

"Um... I guess I should go..." Suho chirped from the back, fidgeting but not really uncomfortable. He had that mischievous look every time he was watching a scene in a k-drama.

"Kim Suho-shi."

"Wow. Why are you so rude..." but Suho sounded more afraid than pissed.

"You picked him up without me?"

Minseok couldn't really process what was happening with the two of them as she had this intimate grip of his waist, her body pressed close, her hair tickled at his neck, his mind boggled at the fact that she was taller and if she actually turned sideways at this moment, their lips would ...

"Well, you're so unwelcoming these days, plus! If you two are going to so snuggled up like this, how was I going to concentrate on the road? Stop being cute together, dammit! Let's have a fucking party tomorrow. Man, I'm out of mind! And here's the fucking bag. My. God. Kim Minseok, please, if I found out you do something stupid, I will –"

"What?" Jayoung simply cut off his angry brother and again, Suho's mood shifted again due to Jayoung's _new_ confronting nature.

"Fine, I'm leaving!"

But she didn't really wait for the older brother to leave, her hands tugged at Minseok's uniform and pushed him inside, locking the door behind her before cornering him in their living room couch.

"um- um. Jayoung-ah." He tried to adjust his crutch but it slipped away from his grip and now even fully sitting on the comfortable couch didn't seem very _comfortable_ as he couldn't bring himself up to get away from her approaching him – so casually closing their proximity with little to no care in the world. "It's been a while. It's –"

"Umm-hmm."

He nervously gulped, looking up at the girl – or ... woman.

She now stood tall that his head rested fully on the cushion.

"I – uh.."

"yeah?"

She didn't really stop and straddled his thighs and letting her hair brushing his face.

Minseok hiccupped when he got a lap full of Jayoung.

Her hands were so tender, touching, and tracing his features as he remembered. With his left hand now free, he returned the attention timidly, his hands pressing softly on her waist as he took in her appearance.

Cha Jayoung. Was this woman the same girl he fell for? He kept asking. And every time she would let out a small smile and turned serious again as she inspected his face, he got the same answer every single time.

There were more wrinkles especially when she smiled... her eye smiled.

It was as if the scene was being painted so spontaneously with so much color and beauty he thought he was still stuck in a perfect reverie. He had never been gazed that way before – at least not that he ever remembered. He felt wanted. Needed. 

For the millionth time, his hesitant heart made up its mind and fluttered at the sight of her burning chocolate eyes _noticing him_.

"Jayoung-ah."

Finally, her hands came to his rosy cheeks and he was pleased to see that she was just as flustered when his left hand brushed against the nape of her neck, his right hand held her now shaper jaw, his thumb grazing the bottom of her lips.

"Umm?"

The auburn dimly lit living room gave her the warm glow that his heart had always yearned for all this time waiting for her. Her cherry pink blossoming hair tugged at his heartstring, dragging his mind against the flowery horizon, sending him to the moon and dropping him back down to earth again and again.

"I missed you."

Slowly, she sunk even deeper, her legs pressing ever tighter over his thighs and it was getting warm to the point his mind was starting to panic.

"I missed you, too."

Those words. She said it with that newly raspy voice of hers, and he felt emotionally bothered. That crispy tone made everything tasted abstractly much sweeter. All of this time, this was what he had been missing.

It was the way she let out her breath through the tense air in between them. So shakily she breathed out that he felt the same crazy light-headedness.

"I missed you so much..." he didn't even realize he was tearing up himself when he felt her now slightly rougher fingertip traced the permanently small cut on his brow. His heart sped up even more erratically when she came close to place a soft kiss so pleasantly over his eye, his tear damping her dry lips. "It was so difficult..."

"Shh..." her hands ran through his hair, her fingers pressed into his head, the pressure tangible, reassuring.

His eyes fluttered closed as she leaned down, their foreheads touched, their noses bumped against one another, their breaths hot burning the other's cheeks.

Instead of waiting for another moment, Minseok opened his eyes and straightened his back to finally taste her lips, taking down that invisible barrier between them.

This was another world for him. He knew he had kissed her before, but this felt different.

His senses set aflame as she hummed into the long-awaited touch, her hands trailing down to his chest to keep herself afloat and let him lead. And Minseok did lead alright.

For the first time, he could move his lips and he didn't feel _wrong._ All of those restrictions almost 2 years ago now dissipated. The back of his mind no longer bothering him. All of those butterfly kisses he _couldn't_ _deepen._ Now, his hands gripped right at the nape of her neck, pulling her in even closer, his lips at last moving ever so slowly against her dry lips that he was now gradually soaking.

Jayoung, on the other hand, whimpered at the one moment he pressed a little too hard, a little too wide, a little too fast, but unlike the last time, he didn't stop. Her nails now digging into his uniform as she tried to process what was happening.

The cold of which she had always complained gone within seconds as his lips so intense, scorching with an unfamiliar want, so demanding that she couldn't help melting into his embrace. And when he tilted his head sideways, he groaned against her lips as he seemed to have gotten even more space to work with, dragging her down with him ever so much closer.

The moment he bit her lips for the first time, she trembled against him, choking on his kiss, bringing herself to break away from him to take a breather.

But he only let her free for a second before he claimed her lips once more. His left hand trailed down to her waist, fingertips burning in her skin. Maybe there would be marks later, but the idea only broke away her last piece of sanity when his right gripped ever tighter below her jaws, having full control of where he wanted her to be.

Unknowingly, as she tried to give the same level of intensity, her teeth grazed his upper lips – the man hummed in approval and now, both of his hands came to her face, fingers digging into her pink hair, and the air was punched out of her lungs. She had always known the feel of his full round lips, but she never felt what it was really like to kiss them.

Minseok now lost in the moment, drinking in her heavy breathing and shy little whimpers so easily, his head spinning, his eyes opened to see hers fluttering closed. His vision zoomed-in, tunnel vision, staring dizzily up at the woman who was just as spellbound as he was. All trouble no longer clouding his mind – the only thing he saw was the most beautiful woman he ever held in his arms.

But when his tongue traced her lower lips, she opened her eyes alert, and Minseok knew now to slow down, pulling back, turning down to let his chin rest over her shoulder, his forehead pressed against her cheeks, his heavy breaths against her neck – trying to refill his lungs this time with her scent. His hands still bunched up her hair, keeping himself steady. It was as if the ground had moved, and now he was disoriented, astray from reality.

Jayoung just leaned into him and embraced the man for the first time so tightly, angrily pulling him in. Sated with the attention he showered her.

Minutes passed, yet it felt like a blink of an eye, they stayed in that position, trying to register what had happened. Jayoung subconsciously brought her hands to gently stroke his short hair toward which Minseok leaned almost instantaneously.

"You're not going to leave again, are you?" she asked so restlessly, still so out of breath. 

The man gazed up at the woman and his burning lips quivered at the sight of her now seemingly swollen lips. He was more than ecstatic to return the same desperate hold she had on him.

His mind cleared and realized that the idea of her not exactly where she was supposed to be – in his arms – was mind-numbingly frightening.

"No, I'm not."

A small chuckle spilled from her lips and that raspy sound pierced his ears with heavenly sensation once more. Then, she leaned down to peck his nose before shyly hiding away her face in his chest. Suddenly, pink filled his vision, and he could her breaths fuelling his heart.

"Are you going to forget this tomorrow?" her voice almost inaudible as her fingers lazily drew circles on his ribcage through his uniform, his heartbeat under her command.

"Never." He looked down, his left tilting her face up to make her gaze up into his dazed eyes, so she could see how much he wanted this as much as she did. "I'll always remember you."

And when he parted lips and leaned down to place an open mouth kiss against her lips that were glisteningly sweet, it made him carnivorous – the two of them tilted their heads so sluggishly to deepen the touch before closing their lips – hearing her satiated sigh, he believed himself.

🌻

7:15 am.

Tired eyes, but rested heart.

He tried to move, but something was keeping him in place. A little lower he saw what was happening, and at once his heart was no longer at peace.

Jayoung resting comfortably on his chest, in his arms, sleeping and he remembered how they ... just did nothing and fell asleep. Suddenly, his groggy head went haywire, his body tried to sit up when he remembered his support was not by side and still lying on the floor.

Maybe he shouldn't make a big deal out of it. This was what he wanted all along, wasn't it? However, for some reason, he still felt something was missing.

Before long, she woke to his little actions playing with her hair.

"Umm... oppa, morning." She looked up at him so dreamily that he had to look away.

"I need to move ..."

Hands gripped his thighs and he tried not to squirm as she moved away from him, stretching in the process, her hair messy, her clothes unkempt at which he still stared.

Wordlessly, his legs reached the wooden crutch and he pushed it back towards the couch. He didn't want to look back at her as he left the room limping. And now, Minseok knew what was going on. Why must there be so many steps?

Seconds later, something popped from under his right side, and Jayoung was right next to him, pushing him up the stairs.

His heart both fluttered and shattered.

"It's alright. I can do it myself."

10:45 am.

"Oppa, let's go to Chef!"

He tried keeping the door locked, but he himself still wanted to go out. With a heavy heart, Minseok opened the wardrobe that he hadn't opened for so long. All the clothes now seemed a little smaller for him. Something strange in the military happened. He should be losing weight, but it turned out he gained a few more kilos and he wasn't sure it was a good thing. Although all the extra flesh turned into muscles, he couldn't keep feeling a little lightheaded when he stepped on the scale, recalling his chubby past self in high school.

The black t-shirt hugged him a little too tight for his liking, so he dug deep and found himself a black hoodie was oversized enough to hide his body. Even his legs grew too wide, and when he couldn't find a pair of loose pants as most of his own pants were way too rigid to handle his new growth, he had to grin and bear the tight-fitted jeans Jongdae got him before his enlistment.

Kim Jongdae knew. That bastard.

They sat silently on the bus. His feet a little jittery from stares, but it got a little better. With Jayoung on his right resting on his shoulder quietly, he decided to just focus on the road. It'd been so long since he stepped into normal society again, and it was sending him mixed signals.

As they walked towards the restaurants, he couldn't help looking around. His legs jumped at the slightest sounds. People walking past, and he couldn't stop listening in. He shouldn't be gripping his crutch this hard, but it became a habit at that point. His thoughts running wild when a car screeched across the road. His heart beat fast when people started staring at his limping self.

Then, her hands smoothed over his rough ones, and Minseok was looking at her. She was taller and it still baffled him. He didn't have to look down too much anymore. She was right in his sight.

"Something wrong?"

A little nervous gulp and he shook his head. A hesitant smile.

"You can always talk to me, oppa. I'm always listening."

She opened the door for him, and he felt a little weaker. The tables arranged a lot differently. The houseplants changed, the decoration was new. Although it looked a lot different from the last time he was here, the same welcoming feeling he tasted every time he stepped in Yixing's place was still there.

For the past years, being greeted with harsh words and traumatizing intimidating looks, Minseok was glad to see his old friend, Yixing, still brightened up at the sight of him walking in.

"My soldier boy is back!" and the old chef just crushed his body in his embrace like he always did. The Chinese snuggling up close, head resting in the nape of his neck, blowing soft sighs calming his heart down.

"Hey, Minseok-shi! Good to see you back!" Kim Kai waved at him cutely from his station, and it was quite blinding to see the Chef with a much brighter shade of pink than Jayoung, but Minseok thought it looked good on him. "Finally, Our Yonggiyong won't be so bitter anymore."

"Bitter? She's like a sea witch at this point," Chanyeol muttered under his breath.

He didn't realize he said that out loud to which Jayoung replied. "What did you just say?"

Yixing seemed oblivious to his student grabbing a knife and walking towards his scared chefs as he kept on nuzzling against Minseok and humming his favorite Chinese tune while he swung around slowly, probably thinking that they were in a slow dance.

"Hey! Hey! Put the knife down –That's workplace hazard!" Chanyeol backed away and hid behind Kim Kai who was just laughing hysterically at what was unfolding before him.

"No, Chanyeol-shi, _you're_ the workplace hazard."

A high pitched scream and a knife chase followed.

"Ah, like master, like student!" Yixing giggled wholeheartedly at the sight while he side-hugging Minseok. Minseok didn't know what to think. Things were different.

"Oh, look, it's the perfect wife." Kris suddenly showed up with Tao from behind. "Oh, hi, Minseok-shi."

"Yeah, seems like she's going to be hard to handle," Kyungsoo added beside him. "Imagine Chef Yixing but a younger woman, that's your wife."

The three chefs chuckled and got to their locker rooms as if they hadn't said anything.

That word sunk deep in his mind and now, Minseok was alert.

"Minseok-ah..." and Minseok knew that tone. Yixing knew what was going on, and within seconds, he was dragged across the room and up the stairs to the rooftop. "You prepare a feast for my favorite boy here!"

"Ne, Chef!"

"What's the fucking problem, now?"

Yixing now stood taller, making him sit down and looking up at him. The look on the Chinese face was evidently annoyed, his arms crossed, his foot tapping the floor beneath. And Minseok just looked away.

"Yah, Kim Minseok, what is it?"

He just stared at his own crutch silently and he could almost hear Yixing roll his eyes.

"Oh, my god. Kim Minseok, really? So what you're walking half straight? You think you can just back off?" He wanted to say something, but Yixing didn't let him, "For fuck's sake! She waited for you this long. And you're just going to be like that? You think you two are just going to live under the same roof and expect nothing to happen?"

"I'm... I'm 34. She's 21. I'm so much older. And now, I don't look the part –"

"No. Just no. When will you understand?" Minseok's shoulders slumped and it took Yixing minutes of silence before he spoke up again. "I have to do something. Come here."

Minseok was then dragged back down the stairs so furiously by Yixing whose expression was half contemplating and half done with everything in life.

"Everyone, listen up!" The Chinese then confidently swung his arm over his shoulder, and Minseok almost fell forward. The hair on his back standing, feeling something strange Yixing was going to pull. "A four-day vacation for everyone to celebrate Minseok's return!"

"Wah~~" in unison the Chefs cheers.

"You're coming with me!"

"Oh, no~~" Immediately the joy drained from their faces, and Minseok understood because no one would want to party with Yixing, especially if he was the boss.

"And you two also are coming with us."

"YAH!! That I can handle!" Chanyeol jumped up and down with Kai who was swinging Jayoung around. "It's going to be your first-time vacation with your sunbae, eh?"

"Um, where are we going?" Minseok started to sweat when Yixing smirked at him. _No, Zhang Yixing, I swear to god –_

"Oh, the beach, of course, the best place to unwind." A wink and Minseok wanted to really punch a hole in that beautiful Chinese face.

"Hey, that'll also be the first time you go to the beach," Kai smiled brightly at Jayoung who was looking at Minseok from afar and fidgeting under Kai's hold.

"ne, chef..."

It was quite a demand Yixing made because there was no room for refusal, but Jayoung didn't seem to mind missing a whole week of college. Something about having a good time had her excited and it was true what Kai said. She had never gone on a vacation before it seemed.

He stared blankly out the window, watching the night unfolding when he heard a knock on his door. Well, actually _their_ door. This was supposed to be _their_ room, but for some reason, it felt strange because... they weren't really together. _Well, we're together... but..._

"What is it?" in his pajamas, Minseok still felt a little bothered as he retreated to his side of the bed, leaning against the headboard.

"I don't know, I um..." the girl shifted around a little before she approached him and sat beside him on the bed. "Here."

Something silver reflected in his eyes and he looked up to Jayoung who was looking the other way.

"There was just a lot of guys after me... and I had to wear this so... I think you should wear it, too."

"oh." Slowly, he reached for her palm and took the ring for himself. No wonder why he noticed a white band on her fingers. It looked like she took it off earlier while she was cleaning.

This time, they slipped on their rings and they stared at each other's hands for the longest time before Jayoung cleared her throat.

"I'm – eh, I'm going to um, pack. Wake me up before leaving?"

"Yeah..."

He gazed at her who was in a trance. Maybe, she was thinking about the same thing. About last night. She was right there close to him. Maybe, he should stop her. Maybe, he shouldn't just watch her walk out of the room without _something._

But all he did was look away when she locked the door behind her.

🌻

🌻

He was before her, slowly backing away and going towards someone else.

She opened her eyes. Her vision blurred and she yawned her tears away. Her arms stretched and her legs pulled. The night was especially cold right then. Her toes were stiff from the chilly wind as she forgot to close the window when she fell asleep.

The study here felt different from the study in Minseok's last place. It shouldn't give her such an icy sense, but it did. The walls blue, white, and black now seemed to convey another feeling she didn't anticipate living here. The books still gave her that same scent, but it stirred another emotion. All of those months lying in this place, waiting for him, waiting for the night to pass, this study could only do so much to calm her down.

She should be lying next to him, shouldn't she? They did ... make up the other day, right? But why did Minseok keep doing this to her?

4:20 am.

Jayoung put her last piece of clothing in the backpack and sat promptly against the headboard, staring at the empty windowsill. She held on close to her blankets as she waited for time to pass.

Soon, the doorbell rang.

"Come on, let's go!" Chef Yixing came to pick the two of them while the others waited in his van – some were already sleeping.

Without looking at each other, they got off the house with their belongings carried by Chef. Before leaving, she pressed a soft kiss on Chenchen and Chan, whispering sweet things. Maybe, next time, she could bring them with her, but for now, they had to stay. Luckily, Minseok had reassured her that Suho's wife would drop by to pick them up while they were off on vacation.

Now that she had to leave the dogs, she realized how much she was going to miss them. Even if it was just a few days, they could be worried about her too. These two had been comforting her for so long that she needed their help daily, especially since Minseok wasn't there for her.

Before Chef or Minseok could start, Jayoung stared at the backseat, "Omo, Chef!" Chef Kai's window was open and he heard her call when she approached his side of the van. The chef didn't really question and just happily greeted her back before opening the door for her to step in.

Knowing that they wouldn't be talking at all, Jayoung decided that it was better to just not sit next to Minseok, which saved everyone from having to deal with their tensed awkwardness.

Then, Chef Yixing was in the driver's seat with Minseok in the front with him, talking. _Yeah... It's better that way._

There must be something in his mind that he wanted to say but couldn't bring himself to do so.

A long-drawn sigh and Chef Kai chuckled lowly beside her.

"Sleep if you're tired."

So she responded with a weak nod and rested her spinning head on his shoulder, shutting her eyes and hoping that the annoying feeling would go away.

She couldn't really fall asleep again, but she tried to keep her eyes closed. Minseok's voice. Minseok's laugh. She just couldn't keep herself at bay when she heard him. Chef Yixing and Minseok were talking about something, yet she couldn't understand anything from the conversation except the presence of his voice. His touch. His lips.

_How dare he?_

Ignoring her after doing all of those things to her. Didn't he know that it was driving her crazy? That every moment now she was with, all she could about was that desperate kiss the other night? How could he just do that and then forget about it the next day?

"Jayoung-ah..." the soft voice of Chef Kai _woke_ her up as he nudged her toward the window, "Look, it's the sea."

Finally, the window was lowered and the fresh salty air brushed against her face, her hair flowing along with the rough wind. "Wah~~" the blue of the sea and the white of the sand in the distance was enough to lift her solemn mood. The sun slowly peeked from the horizon and unknowingly she reached out, hands shoving to the wind with her heart on her sleeves.

"Can't wait to play in the sea... hey, you know how to swim?"

"No, chef." She answered timidly, turning back to the chef was also lost in the distant beauty that they were closing in.

"Then, I'll teach you, Yonggu-ah~" a hand ruffled her pink hair, and she suddenly noticed how silent the van was before noticing that Minseok was staring at her through the rearview mirror. The man looked away after a few seconds, but during that short moment, she saw something intense in his eyes, but she shook it off.

9:45 am.

The resort looked something fresh out of a paradise. It felt as if they were visiting an island. With the wooden interior and the greenery adorning the hotel, she never felt more out of place but at peace at the same time.

The other chefs stretched their bodies and she noticed how they now dressed in loose shirts and pants – hands holding on to their own stuff, looking very far off from professional chefs, and seeming a lot more like teens going on their first outing with each other, smiling and laughing brightly. It was then that she started to sense that feeling.

Women.

A lot of women seemed to suddenly fill up the place and she couldn't really put a finger on what was happening, but maybe, it had something to do with those short sleeve shirts they were all wearing. Their muscles gained from years of working intensely in the kitchen now bare and displayed to the world, apparently smelling like sugar to all the women around the place drawn to these men.

Her eyes rolled slightly when someone was staring at her Minseok a little too much. _Urgh._ He was limping on his crutch. He shouldn't be attractive. But then, out of the blue, the sun decided to shine its ray at that particular moment and Minseok's right side was facing her – his bold features gleamed and his tight gummy smile swung a hit right in her stomach, stirring whatever animal in her stomach alive. Those lips. Those lips were moving in a way that had her enticed and she shouldn't be thinking about that right now.

"Jah, due to budget constraints, I can only rent 3 rooms. The Koreans with the Koreans." Chef Yixing pointing at Kyungsoo, Kai, and Chanyeol who were trying to ignore the women nearby. "The Chinese with the Chinese." Kris and Tao didn't seem to be bothered with the arrangement of sharing a room with the old Chinese, nodding nonchalantly. "The couple with the couple."

When Minseok looked distressed and wanted to protest, she looked away, unable to handle the implications.

"Well, let's move to your rooms! Unpack, you guys."

The room was smaller than she expected. Then again, it was just a short stay. She shouldn't be complaining. However, the warm color made up for the mood. Yellow and orange burned the walls and bed. _Oh, one bed._ She stepped towards the window. The sea was right there close enough. All she had to do was walk. The anticipation was killing her. She had never really dug her toes in the sandy beach before. The blue in the sky and the sea blended and the spectacle took her breath away. She couldn't wait to get out there.

"Oppa, let's go..." she turned back to see Minseok already lying down on the bed, his hand smoothing the muscles of his leg.

"Sorry. I'm still a little tired from the long drive."

She bit her lips – her smile quickly changed, but no matter how hard she tried to hide her disappointment, she knew that he knew.

"It's – it's okay." Picking up a few things from her backpack, she wore her smaller bag and waved at him hesitantly, her heart begging her to chase him down and talk to him, but right now... it seemed like he wasn't ready to talk about it. "I'll walk around for a bit then."

Downstairs, everyone was holding on to their own bikes.

"Yonggiyong, I rented you a bike! Come come!" Chef Kai waved her over, and she felt a little better.

For now, they were parting ways from the other chefs to buys food, snacks, and booze for their whole stay. With him, she rode around the town, feeling the fresh air against her skin other than the usual toxic city environment. She could let her pink hair swing freely to the call of the wind. Her hands were soft against the handles. Her legs pedaling to where she wanted to go. Chef's little childish laughs when he talked about Chanyeol brought color back to her tired heart.

Now, they were sitting on a wooden bench on the sidewalk with their bikes propped up behind them – in their hands, ice creams, smiling, sweetness and peacefulness. Slowly, the afternoon started to lose its shine, and again, it reminded her of the problem at hand.

"I guess you hadn't talked about the elephant in the room yet, huh?" Chef Kai started quietly, and she just groaned in frustration.

"I don't know how to talk to him either. He's so much different now, especially after being trained in the military that way."

"Well, I wasn't enlisted ... I wouldn't know." The man swung his legs playfully, staring blankly at his knees. The situation was growing gloomy again, so he cleared his throat and smiled widely the way she always loved. "So... you're ready for the beach?"

"Of course, I am."

"I mean... your clothing."

"Yeah? I'm ready." Her head tilted when he facepalmed himself.

"I mean your beach clothes. You know... dresses, shorts, bikinis." Suddenly, red crept up her cheeks and Chef Kai just chuckled at her reactions. "I'm only asking. If you're not comfortable, you can just wear your normal clothes. For me, I'm just going to reveal my abs to the world." A small playful wink had Jayoung hitting the chef's arm as the woman tried to stop him from lifting his shirt out of nowhere.

"Well..." her mind swirling from place to place, but she thought that it would be a waste. She rarely came to the beach anyway. She should enjoy it to the fullest, right?

Her small voice stopped him from pedaling.

"I think I – I want to get some new clothes." Her sneakers knocking at the pavement, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

Now, the two of them were walking in a sea of beach clothes – most of them had her quite _flustered._

"Omo, chef. It's all strings – how... how is this called _clothing_?"

So far, they were just laughing and giggling at the ridiculous swimsuits they passed.

"Now, now. How do you want to look?" Something about having a gay friend that just lighted up her mood. Then, she remembered Jimin. That man was getting so busy nowadays, they rarely hung out anymore, but she didn't mind. Chef Kai could be a substitute for the moment.

"I don't like swimsuits..." She muttered shyly as they looked around the shop.

"Then ... maybe... how about some bikinis with a shirt on top? I don't want you to wear a dress either." The man then looked her up and down. "I gotta help you do something with that stubborn man of yours, so you have to be bold but with a little... _hiding._ Men always love something they can't get."

Jayoung had a feeling that the chef was up to something mischievous, but his idea didn't sound too bad. She was one of the grown-ups now. Maybe, looking more like a woman could really give Minseok a wakeup call. Confidence. Confidence.

In the midst of everything, she held on to the four pairs of quite revealing pieces of garments in her hands as Chef Kai pushed her into the changing stall. So far, she had put on a few, but the man didn't like how it turned out, judging her stance and her features. It was somewhat tiring, but Jayoung, herself, didn't trust her own _woman_ 's fashion style yet, completely trusting the chef to do the work for her. Plus, it didn't feel too bad on her part. Kind of fun trying out new things. 

This time, she looked at the mirror, staring. Light blue looked good on her. Her cherry hair was a lot more pronounced with a contrasting color. Maybe, she should go to Chef Kai first and see if it did fit.

While turning a bit too fast, she ran into a much firmer figure. "Omo, I'm sorry. Excuse me. I didn't look while I was –"

"It's alright, young lady."

It was a slightly older woman- perhaps in her mid-thirty or early forty. She was still in her work clothes, but it seemed like she was about to change as her hands were too occupied with beach dresses. The sunglasses she lowered and Jayoung could feel the room move. The makeup was on point, her shape, her features were breathtaking. The maturity was more than a charm from her at this point. Moreover, the woman had confidence. That allure that even her heart skipped a beat when the older woman smiled at her.

"Hmm.. you look nice. The color suits you well." The older lady muttered under her breath. And Jayoung was blushing at this point. "Oh, the pink hair is really pretty. You look stunning, sweetie."

"Th- thank you."

"Impressing your boyfriend I suppose..." she even sounded so pretty when she laughed.

"Well, hopefully."

She wanted to apologize once more, but a deeper voice cut her off.

"Hey, there you are." A younger man probably her age came close and dragged her away. The old woman just waved it off and smiled at her one last time.

"I'm sure your boyfriend will love it." a firm nod from her before the boy dragged her away. That seemed to give her more than a little faith.

"Jayoung-ah! Oh- wow." Chef Kai finally found her and his eyes just sparkled to which she just looked down to her feet, her ears burned at the attention. "I think this is it. Hmm... Was there something wrong?"

It seemed like he caught the last moments of their conversation before stepping in. "Oh, it's a woman I bumped into and her son."

It was at that moment that Chef Kai started giggling and looking their way, making her curious.

"Oh... Sweet little Yonggu-ah... They're not relatives."

Questioningly she frowned at the man who just pointed towards the two in the distance, holding each other and now stealing kisses from one another. Certainly, her squeal broke loose and she was more than surprised.

"Ummmm... I can't tell which one is enjoying this more than the other..." she could clearly tell what he was thinking and it was disturbing indeed.

"Stop it, Chef!"

But no matter how hard she hit the chef, Jayoung couldn't help but steal glances from the couple that was slowly slipping away from her sight. Those two seemed to care nothing about the world. They were just there for each other. Suddenly, she was jealous. The woman was so carefree, and the boy was so confident.

_If only..._

3:26 pm.

She dropped her bags on the bed, looking around to see that Minseok wasn't around. Perhaps, he'd gone out with Chef Yixing. Hopefully, Chef could do something about it. She knew she should be the one confronting him, but Minseok was making it more difficult than it should be.

There was supposed to a barbeque in less than an hour, so Jayoung started going through her newly bought clothes.

Shorts. She never really wore them before, never convinced herself enough, but it was the beach. She should be feeling the sea breeze on her skin more. The blue really complimented her skin. It was as if she was going to be one with the sky. The woman chuckled and squirmed on the bed. She just couldn't wait to play on the beach. Deeper in the bag she found the white crop top Chef Kai picked out for her. He really had good eyes that man.

As she was taking off her t-shirt, she heard the door open, and behind was a very still Minseok.

"Oh. Hi. Oppa." Her shirt was still half-way off her arms, so she just sat there, her shoulders and stomach revealed, and luckily not her chest.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Um, you should've locked the door – it's –"

That moment when she caught his scared eyes, her heart crumbled. His lips stuttered as he was unable to face her fully. His expression. What? _Why is he looking at me like..._ After what felt like a really long nightmare, he stepped out of the room, leaving her shocked.

Abruptly, her excitement sizzled away and she looked down at her skin. Everything heightened and she started seeing things that she barely noticed before. Her slightly lopsided collarbones. Her meaty shoulders. Her little chubby stomach. Her weird skinny legs.

Her breathing fastened and her eyes blinked and blinked and blinked.

_Am I that ugly, oppa?_

🌻

The feel of her rough hand on his hair. He remembered the way her nails dragged over his skin leaving a trail of promises down his spine – mostly his hair, the grip at his hair. It was short and it should be _not_ attractive, but the way she grabbed on to it made him quite proud. His eyes glazed watching her through the rearview mirror as she silently napping on Kim Kai's shoulder.

Another breath and he caught Kim Kai glaring at him. Suddenly, Minseok started sweating – due to the new threat – and burning – from the _things_ he couldn't have at that moment – all at the same time. His eyes averted. He was mad. Certainly. But her actions were justified. It was he that couldn't approach her himself, and now he had to deal with his own mistakes.

Once they were at the resort and Jayoung had gone biking with Kim Kai along with the other chefs, Yixing stole him once more. The two of them were back in the van with Yixing driving them towards the closest market to get some ingredients that were missing.

"Kim Minseok, I'm sacrificing the beef of my restaurant to save your marriage right now. Why can't you just try harder?" Apparently, the old chef had taken the meat he had reserved for the customers and packed it here. "My fucking life is literally going to be in your stomach, so can you please _please_ stop your bullshits and man up?"

"It's not that easy."

"Well, if you're going to use that logic, fuck you. Everything is not that easy. That's why I'm trying to make it easier for you. We all are. Even Jayoung. She's like.." he knew that his best friend was trying to build him up, but it was difficult. "Trust me. Please. She doesn't care about your conditions."

"She will, at one point." A broken whisper. "There are a lot of younger men whose legs aren't –"

"Okay. This conversation is finished."

It was a long silent drive. With Yixing rarely shutting his mouth, it was certainly more than awkward with Yixing not saying anything.

After they've finished errands, the old man dropped him off. Minseok was getting ready to leave the van when he spoke again for the first time in 2 hours.

"Whatever it is that you do, just promise me you turn those promise rings into diamond ones."

Steadily, he made his way towards their room. _Perhaps, it's time to talk._ He couldn't be postponing it anymore. As a past counselor, he sure had a lot more problems than his own previous clients. Forcing his brain to run its logic, Minseok decided that it wouldn't be too bad. She looked like she wanted to talk, and Yixing was doing everything he could for him to have a chance to do something about this.

_Everything will be fine._

She loved him. Of course, she did. That desperate kiss the other night should be more than enough to prove it.

_Man up. You were a soldier just days ago._

With a deep breath – his right hand clenched and unclenched the door handle, his mind reeling before his logical brain just push his own insecure heart to just do it.

But before he could actually say a word, Jayoung just struck him like a lightning.

The woman was lying down.

On the bed.

In the middle of changing.

Practically half-naked.

Staring at him with those innocent clueless dreamy eyes.

Hair messy like she had just –

Slowly, the way her body just bent and sat up, her shirt almost dropping, but all he could see was just a little –

"Oh. Hi. Oppa." Her voice didn't help. No. It was so silky. Tender. Sweet. If she had called him by his name, he would—

He shook his head.

And all of that confidence that he had built up to 100% just dropped down to –10000% and Minseok had to do something else. _Do something else._ Staring— _Oh, for fuck sake's do something else._

Slammed the door closed.

He had to take a rain check. Sitting in the bathroom alone. He tried splashing all the water on his face.

"Oh, there you are." Kyungsoo emerged, a knowing smile for him. "We've been looking for you. The barbeque is almost ready. Go get Yonggiyong with you. We're keeping the beach away from her long enough."

A silent nod with an audible gulp.

Slowly, Minseok made it to their room again. _She should be done dressing up._ This time, there wouldn't anything _distracting_ him anymore. It was fine. He could do this. Just call her out to the barbeque.

"Jayoung-ah, it's time to – Jayoung-ah?"

There was no sight of her around. Did she leave for the barbeque already? Outside, he went towards the designated place for their gathering and once he was there, he didn't find her there either.

"Oh, Minseok-shi, where's Yong?" Kim Kai lifted his head from the meat he was cooking. And yes, there were women around to watch these chefs doing their knife works.

"What? I thought she was with you." The crutch was slowly sinking into the sand, and Minseok realized that he was stepping onto the beach, which wasn't really a good place for his limping self.

"Huh? We thought she was with you." Yixing turned to him.

"She wasn't in the room when – well, she was previously, but I had to leave, and—" leaving the crucial information out, Minseok's mind was slowly turning into mush. "And then she wasn't there anymore..."

"Maybe she went to the women's bathroom."

Minseok didn't listen any longer, and he felt himself sped up despite his disability. In seconds, he was there, yelling out her name, but nothing came out. Even he had to ask a woman stepping in there if there a pink-haired woman in the bathroom with her, but she wasn't there either.

Once again, Minseok got back to their room and she still wasn't there.

"Her rented bike is still here. Wait, she couldn't have gotten lost anywhere, right? She just got here minutes ago." Kim Kai started again when all of a sudden the situation was getting tense.

And all Minseok could do was growing weary. Weary. A lot wearier. Worried. Crazy. Fuming. Fuming like crazy.

Kyungsoo then started dialing her phone, but it went straight to voicemail and now, things really escalated.

Minseok's mind was spinning. His eyes then wandered to the sea. _No, she's – she's not that dumb. No. No._

"Let's just put a stop to all of this and split up, so we can find her," Yixing's voice for once soft and calm as the chefs seemed truly concerned and that really didn't help him. At all.

Then, it had to be him. A nervous but reassured laugh Kim Kai let out, "I'm sure she's just taking a breather—"

"The fuck would you know?!"

His crutch thrown away, his voice burned, his eyes glared at Kim Kai, who was just as alarmed at his words as he, himself, was.

But Minseok didn't really have the time to just sulk and apologizing. He had to start quickly. His eyes turned to the sea again, and he had to pinch his own skin. _She's not that stupid. She wouldn't do that._ As much as he was mad at Kim Kai for no reasonable purpose, maybe he was right. Jayoung was just taking a breather, but he couldn't help it.

It may have taken him a really long time, but it was finally dawning on him.

He couldn't lose her.

What the hell was he thinking?

All of this time.

But how could he start? Where should he start? Without much thought, Minseok was already roaming around the place further and further. He still had good eyes, so he made to really look around for any signs of her. It shouldn't be difficult, no?

"Excuse me, have you seen a woman a little shorter than me? Pink hair?"

It felt like it'd been a long time, asking people here and there. Come on, now. It was hard to miss the bright color that beautiful. However, the man didn't waver. And someone finally said something.

"Ah... you mean a young woman with the pink hair and the weird-looking clothes? I saw her went that way with a pretty young man her age." The woman in a drinking stall smiled, acknowledging their presence, but nothing ticked Minseok off more to hear, "Ah~~ They must be your nieces, huh? Oh, youngsters. Getting into a lot of troubles, these days."

If only there were tables before him, Minseok could've flipped all of it. All of it. Flip. Flip. Motherfucking Flip. He would not leave one table unflipped. Nuh-uh. No tables left unflipped today.

So, now, he was looking for his _nieces,_ huh?

A heavy grunt that rattled his vocal cords. A dry humorless laugh spilled from his lips, leaving him speechless. His hands came to pull at the short strands of his hair.

"Yah— wah... okay. Okay." A playful nod at himself. And maybe, if he was looking in a mirror right now, he could be looking a little bit annoyed.

Well, his _nieces_ better fucking get ready because he's coming.

Ah to the fucking ha.

He didn't even have to try that hard. They were right there – meters from him. Laughing. Laughing. Laughing. Fucking giggling. Oh, funny. Very _very_ funny. They both should be comedians. Yeah, they were that good.

When did that boy start poking his Jayoung like they'd been friends forever? Oh, maybe they were friends, but no. No. Just no.

Heavy feet stomping the sand sidewalk – the sound loud enough to actually call to their attention, and Jayoung turned to him when he noticed that she was indeed dressed weirdly like the elderly woman said earlier. Oversized t-shirt. Oversized pants. Clearly uncomfortable – but that wasn't the concern for the moment.

"Omo- oppa—"

"Yah, Cha Jayoung, where the hell were you? We were looking everywhere for you."

"I was taking a walk," she started, but again, he'd been holding it a really long time.

"So, you've been walking while everyone's scattered around to look for you?"

"But I—"

He didn't even realize that he was cornering her when he saw her stepping back.

"And you. What are you doing with her? Who are you?" he must see how dangerous his eyes were at the moment, but the younger man just laughed it off, a smile so sickeningly sweet, and answered so smoothly.

"Just talking. She said she needed someone to chat with."

"Um. Hm – you're not even –"

"Oppa!" A harsh whisper half scream from her lips called out to him. "Just – stop it! You're making a scene. I'm sorry, Seojun-ah."

He wanted to really _really_ punch that confident face. Oh, so very confident. Maybe, it could even be more confident right beneath his soldier fists. He could feel her hands came to clutch onto his biceps that were ready to smash his skull—

"Seojunnie~~ You're here?"

It was then that a different voice entered the scene. Deeper, but still very much feminine.

"Ne, noona. I got what you asked for." The boy then turned to a much more mature woman behind him and standing taller, leaning in close to whisper something in her ears, and they both chuckled at something.

He was slow to catch it first, but then... he realized a certain detail.

Suddenly, his collar was pulled down so harsh he thought his head was getting a headache, but it was Jayoung glaring at him, her hand digging deep in his shirt.

"He's _not_ her son."

_Oh._

"Anyways, it was nice walking with you, Jayoung-ah. Maybe, we should go on a double date the next time we ran into each other again, hmm? Old man?"

For some reason, Minseok still really wanted to land a punch in that stupid face of his. Looking back to Jayoung, he tried his pleading with his eyes, but Jayoung just pushed him off angrily. Away from the sidewalk and towards the beach.

Now, he had to run after her, ignoring the words the other couple whispered behind his back. Although he felt like an idiot right now, Minseok didn't really care. Longer steps now, and he could reach towards her arm and yanked her back to fully face him.

Her eyes were burning like the sun. Expression glaring and frowning. Maybe, he shouldn't be feeling excited at the fact that she was kind of pretty right now. Her cherry blossom hair dancing in the sea breeze tickling his exposed neck.

"What? What do you want? What is it?" even her tears seemed to glow in her chocolate eyes, her dark pupils drawing him in.

This was the first time they'd been this close since that kiss. That scorching fiery kiss. And Minseok's eyes dropped to her trembling lips, his voice unsteady. "I've been looking for you—"

"NO! You know what? Stop. Just let go." Her hands then came to his chest, pushing him away, struggling to put in full force to break away from his grasp. "Let go. Let me go. Let me go. Please..."

But his hands were firm on her arms, his muscles flexed to keep her at bay and in his hold. "What? Jayoung-ah, it's me."

"I know it's you! That's why I want you to let go!!" A real punch in his chest and he let go. His eyes were wide and blinking. "GET OFF ME!!" she screamed with all that she had, her voice broke as she teared up, her arms closing and hugging her own body while she slowly backed away.

Jayoung seemed petrified, truly horrified by his presence. And although he listened to her command, he still subconsciously trying to get close, one step at a time. Minseok's mind was going off then. _What happened?_

"Jayoung-ah, what's the matter?"

" _What's the matter?_ " when she stopped in her path and he still tried to approach her, she just lost it, "I said _stay away from me_!"

"Okay, okay. Got it." Finally, they halted in their steps, and he just stood there, waiting for her to say something. She was certainly going through a breakdown at the moment. There was no need for him to make it worse.

A moment passed. Her back facing him. Even from behind, she looked heavenly. Pink waving and dancing in the air enticing him and only did she try to get away from her did he know that it was wrong to try and get away from her. Only when she was this close that he realized that it was tough trying to get here, that it meant to him every second when he was with her.

"Leave." She whispered and the wind carried the broken words to him.

"What?"

"I said leave! Leave me. If you're just going to leave me, do it now."

"What are you talking about? I'm – I'm not leaving."

Swiftly, she turned back to him, glaring at him making him feel like he should be on a stake and maybe he should. "No, you're leaving me alright. Do it. Do it now. Leave me. Don't play with my petty feelings."

"Jayoung-ah,"

"Leave me. Just like my brother. Just like my sister. Like my mother. My father..." And those words now that she said so loud, he could tell that it broke her. Now, choking on her words, the woman dropped to her knees, and as much as he wanted to scoop her in his arms at the moment, he couldn't. "You're just going to leave me like everyone else did..."

"No, I won't. I'm staying—"

"You keep walking away from me. You keep avoiding me. I don't care. Just leave." The broken cries tore his heart open. The wounds now too big to heal on their own.

It was then that everything hit him all at once. All of this time, he was hesitating. All this time, he spent moping around and backing away, he thought he was the only one scared, but he was so wrong. Slowly, he kneeled to her level, trying to find her eyes. All of this time, he was terrified by himself he didn't realize that she was just as horrified by everything. All of his stupid moves had been rendering the woman to a weeping mess, and it was all his fault. All along, while he was stepping back, he didn't notice how lonely she must be feeling. All of those insecurities. He was the one giving it to her.

"I'm so sorry, Jayoung-ah... I'm so sorry." He bit his lips, his eyes blinking, trying to keep his tears at bay. "I'm not going to leave you."

"Then, how do you explain all the things you've done?" the accusing look in her eyes, red, puffy and brimming with tears.

"I was... I was hesitating – I mean, I don't know how to get to you on my own."

"Oppa, I've never once stopped you from doing anything."

"I don't think I'm good enough. I'm ..." his weak eyes dropped to his knees once more and she groaned at the action.

"WHAT?! _You think you're not good enough?_ Yah! Kim Minseok!" Her not using honorifics had himself fell back on his butt, eyes blank. "You have like 20 PhDs! You're a chaebol, with a brother who's the CEO of like 10 companies. Women follow you everywhere – I mean, did you see the look on that crazy woman's face staring at you?! You're clearly disabled, but she's still eye-fucking your eye candy ass and I'm fucking furious!"

Suddenly, he could feel fire dusted on his cheeks as he fidgeted in the sand, somewhat trying to feel his own butt. _Woah—Wha—Really?_

"I'm the one's not good enough for you. Everyone abandoned me, and I can't even fucking keep a job for more than a year! And look at me..." her hands dropped to the sand, digging and holding herself up, her face hidden in her cherry blossom hair as some of the purple strands tucked at his heartstring. "I'm hideous. I'm so ugly. I'm not worth it."

"No... don't say that." his fingers unfold and he pushed through the soft strands of her hair, his fingers grazing her chin, pulling her up to face him. "You're beautiful."

"I'm not." It was a good step since she didn't back away this time. Unconsciously, she seemed to lean into his touch, so he thumbed away her tears flowing from her starry eyes. "You saw me. And you were disgusted, I can't –"

"Jayoung-ah... shh.." so this time, both his hands gingerly held her, his rough fingers dancing on her pretty little cheeks _. So this was the problem, huh?_ "I could never find you not pretty. Shh..." slowly and tenderly, he pushed away her messy hair and tucked the pink behind her delicate ears. He was closing in on her, his knees touching hers and she was really drawn to him now. "I was... Well, umm... I'm a gentleman and all, but..." once more, he felt the red scorched in his whole face as he said, "I'm a man, too."

At that, she stared at him, breathless, silent, her eyes confused.

"Aish..." he looked away, shutting his eyes. "You were on _our bed,_ half... clothed. I— I'm..."

Now, her eyes slowly widening, her lips parted.

"I didn't think you could get more lovely... but you were really _really pretty._ I just—" but he had to look at her. Her hands no longer digging in the sand, but digging into his thighs, trying to keep steady. "I'm so sorry if I sent you the wrong message. You're the most beautiful woman I've discovered and I'm not letting you go. How could I?"

Even now, when she seemed to be awakened from a trance and tried to push him away once more, but this time, he wasn't letting her. Finally, he pulled her into a desperate hug. His right hands gripped on her hair, his left holding on her waist like it was the last time and he just had to try and prove it.

She felt better medicine. Her against him. Healing and healing. In his arms. In his embrace. This was where she should be.

Although she kept pulling away, he could feel her slowly succumbing to his hold. Her sobs quietened. Only soft hiccups warming his burning chest.

Out of the blue, she really put her strength in pushing him and now, he was on his back, eyes alarmed.

"You say you're not confident... you're— you're not the only one." But her words seemed a little less defensive, her tone softer, her eyes looking anywhere but at him, her arms hugging her own body once more, but not in a scared posture.

"Then, I'm going to make sure you know you're beautiful more often." He said it in a way that sounded almost as if he was challenging her.

"And I guess I should make sure you see yourself as handsome every day too!" the woman just glared at him with a flushed face and huffed a loud breath at him, standing up and walking away.

_Hmm... is that how couples fight?_

He let her take her time though. She got back to the sidewalk and _angrily_ sat down on a nearby wooden bench facing the other way. And so Minseok just silently took a seat on the opposite side, waiting.

Gradually, he could feel the tension sizzling away as the wind blew and carried the worries away from them. Her shoulders slightly lifted, no longer slumped forward, her face staring at the sea now, but not really looking at him. Her arms dropped to her side, no longer closing herself.

"Jayoung-ah."

A plead and she turned to him. He made sure not to look away even if her eyes wavered, blinked, or lost eye contact, he kept staring.

"You want me to be bold, right?" a breathless question. "I know it's been a really long time, and it will be difficult for me like it always is, but... I want to be with you."

The woman just stayed silent, so he took his time to get closer to her and kneel in front of her as she sat there on the bench, unable to look away now.

"You're always stepping forward to me, and I just realized that it must be difficult for you too, making those moves on me." One step at a time, he placed his hands on her knees, keep their eye contact as he wanted to be sure she got how serious he was. "I'm sorry for making you wait. I won't do that anymore. I'll go to you, Jayoung-ah. I'll run to you until I'm right beside you."

Finally, a small smile after a long day.

"And if I fall behind, I'll get back up and keep running."

"oppa..." of course, the honorifics were back and her voice now shy and quiet.

When her hands came to hold his, he sighed in relief. Their fingers slowly intertwined. And as he enjoyed the sound of the wind and her hair blending with nature, he just had to _man up._ Step one.

"So... eye candy ass, heh?" _well, that's man up, right?_

But all the woman did was huff a dry laugh and gave him a stink eye. "Urgh. I hate you." Of course, she stood up, but since their hands were still tangled, he gave it a tuck.

"No. Sit back down. Now." A chuckle from lips. He couldn't help eating up her flustered reaction. Jayoung just groaned and dropping back on her seat, her expression annoyed. "I know it's kind of early in the relationship. Well, maybe not... I'm trying to be bold, okay?"

That caught her attention. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean if you want, you can touch my butt anytime."

"Aahh! Oppa!"

"Squeeze. Roll. Slap. Whatever. I wouldn't mind." She was trying to kick him at this point, but he blocked all of it. All his time training as a soldier kind of gave him the upper hand. _And he had to man up._ "I mean, I _mind,_ but not in a bad way if you know what—"

"Minseok-oppa!" _omo. Look at her, so embarrassed._ "Oh, my god. I hate you so much. I hate you. Let me go!"

"Let you go so you can feel my butt, right now? Hmm, alright."

To which she just whined like a child now, pulling her legs up and hiding her reddened face. To be honest, he felt a little proud that she found him that attractive really. Somehow, the words that should fall flat and cringe-worthy sounded alright to his ears. Maybe, he shouldn't worry too much then. Wasting his energy for nothing.

Of course, the moment he let go, she booked it, power walking away from him and Minseok just laughed. Oh, the fun he had been missing. He tilted his head. Maybe things like this could get him slapped, but ... it was worth it. 

This time, he caught her by the huge collar of her oversized shirt, pulling her back as easy as it seemed with her body now flushed against his.

"Jayoung-ah."

"Ne?"

"I love you."

Blankly, she looked up at him. They were so close. He could feel her warmth before him radiating the beauty that was perfect in every way.

"Oh.. me, too."

As she was fiddling around, he leaned into her suddenly to which she was surprised, and even though she took a step back, the woman didn't really back away as she fluttered her eyes closed, her lips pouting, ready for something.

Minseok just drew back and bit back his laughter as he turned around and took a knee.

"Come on, let's go."

It was a moment of silence before she realized what was happening. And when Minseok heard that frustrated groan again, he knew he got her.

"What are you waiting for? Standing around? Come on." his hands waving for her. He couldn't see what she looked like, but one thing he knew for sure was she wouldn't say no to a cute little piggyback ride. She couldn't.

Soon, her hands snaked around his neck, which certainly had him in a trance, and she pressed herself against him. Minseok had to mentally shut down. He knew how ridiculous she looked at the moment, but for some reason, he still remembered the scene laid out for him just hours ago, and it was as if he could feel every curve –

"Oppa?"

"Oh, uh?" Clearing his throat, he secured her thighs under his forearms and stood up – finally heading back to their place, where a barbeque was waiting for them.

"Um... where's your crutch?"

A huge pause.

He looked down at his legs, and he too could feel her neck craning down against his trying to see the same thing.

"Maybe back at the resort."

"Oh."

She was just as speechless as he was. Wait, did he just run all the way here? Without support? All of this time? _What?_

"Whatever," Minseok shook it off and continued his long strides.

Now, he felt something in his left that wasn't exactly pain, but not exactly comforting either. Just something in between. Usually, he would get that sharp needle prick in his knee now and then when he walked without a crutch, but he could just pick Jayoung up and walk back to the resort without anything helping him. He could still sense that underlying strain in his left leg, but he could handle it.

A freeing feeling.

Suddenly, he felt whole again. And he turned to her – too quickly that his lips were against her cheek. She hesitantly drew back but not too far, looking at him expectantly.

"What is it, oppa?"

He stared at her for a while. His arms feeling the muscles of her legs moved. His back feeling her stomach and her chest breathing calming. "Nothing..."

Minseok looked back to the street before them.

"You just feel... nice."

Well, there were other ways to say it, but he just wanted to say something. He'd been giving her headaches and mixed signals for so long, so he had to fix it, right?

Half-way there. He could feel that the silence was slowly turning from a comfortable one into a weird one, but before he could address it, her voice spoke up ever so quietly, her lips muttering close to his ears – too close, saying, "You feel nice, too."

Then, he was suddenly aware of her arms that were _holding onto him,_ her forearms slightly over his chest, her hands tender over his ribcage, her fingers tracing his chest muscles - wanting to lower down his abs, but she never did. At least not yet anyway. 

Silently, he thanked the military in his head. Although it was mostly unnecessary and clashing with his political views, it did help with the physicality. Not that he wanted to look good, but having her drooling over him could be an advantage. Perhaps, Suho was on to something.

Now, he could really _feel_ her as she tightened her grip over his shoulders and her legs crossed over his waist, her face buried in the nape of his neck. With her breathing down his neck like that, Minseok held back a shaky breath.

At the moment, everything seemed peaceful. Like how it should be. A few more steps, he decided to press a tender kiss over her hair as she hummed in appreciation while they quietly approached their stay. 

🌴

🌴

"Oh, goodness, there you are." It was Kim Kai that ran towards them, and Yixing quickly followed suit, hearing the announcement. The two chefs sauntering over him and inspecting Jayoung's state on his back. "Tell us where you're going next time, kid."

Adoring the way Kim Kai patting her cheeks, Minseok shouldn't be mad at the gay chef. It was irrational of him to get angry at someone who'd been taking care of his lover while he wasn't there for her. "Hey, I'm sorry about earlier."

"Hm. Don't worry about it. I'm actually glad that you were furious." The chef drew back from Jayoung and sent him a little wink. "I'm kind of into hot men being furious. I mean, in a healthy way, of course."

Minseok visibly shivered, and Jayoung just giggled against his neck.

"Healthy, my ass." Yixing chuckled, his eyes amused at the information. "But yeah, I'm glad you were mad. You're just so peaceful all the time, it's fucking frustrating to watch."

"Shut up. From what I'm seeing, you two have some serious aggression issues to deal with."

"Now, now. The barbeque is ready. Let's move."

"Wait, I have to something check first."

Gently he let the woman down from his back as she scooted closer to Yixing. The three of them staring at them weirdly. Suddenly, the water cleared— a pattern emerged, and he saw something similar on their faces at which Minseok just chuckled.

"I'm not running away. I'm going to check my leg." In unison, realizing the fact that he was walking normally again, the three of them parted lips, jaw slacked, and head nodding along dumbly. An action that drew a blinding smile out of him. "You guys look adorable. If I don't know you, I might think you're a family."

Silence then ensued. The two chefs staring at each other and then at Jayoung who was just as star-struck. He didn't think what he said was a big deal as Minseok shrugged and poked at Yixing.

"Anyway, I can borrow your van, right?"

Leaving the three who unexpectedly fell quiet at his words, Minseok drove to the nearest hospital in the area.

"I don't know, Minseok-shi." He and the doctor stared curiously at the x-ray before them. "There's certainly a line here," the man pointing at the small fractured area on his knee. "but I guess it went back into place."

"What do you mean?" Minseok watched his own left leg as he walked around the doctor's office, unable to comprehend what was happening.

"Sometimes, it's just your mind playing games with you. This is not the first time I've seen patients recovering from something unexpectedly and so suddenly." The old man took off his glasses and smiled at Minseok before picking up his cup, sipping on his tea. "It's something that the science community hasn't been able to figure out. Like the Déjà vu phenomenon, the placebo effect, the insane superpower of the adrenaline rush in human..."

"Are you saying that I got better because... I just did?"

"All I can explain at the moment is that your mind could've willed your condition during a moment of clarity." The doctor shrugged it off and handed him the x-ray along with a prescription. "I'm a supporter of the mind and body theory, and though it's not just a theory anymore, some scientists still think it's pseudo-science."

_A moment of clarity?_

"Anyway, you're not fully recovered. Your bones still need some taking care of. Don't doing anything rash yet just to be sure it won't relapse. Don't drink coffee, anything too salty and drink a lot of water and milk. Also, this medication, a pill, twice a day before breakfast and lunch for the whole month."

"Okay..."

"I feel like you need some muscle therapy. The hospital in the city has those things. Go check up on that."

The whole ride Minseok just drove peacefully on the quiet street. Thinking about the last 6 months of his life over and over again. The pills on the passenger seat beside him at the end of his eyes.

Soon, he pulled over by the sidewalk. The trees were swaying along with the wind, and he walked towards the beach, feeling his legs move accordingly. Each step in the sand felt surreal. Something uneven happening but only because the man had been leaning against a crutch for months.

He then decided to phone his therapist. They hadn't talked in a long while.

"Well, you've been neglected for so long, Minseok-shi." Minseok video called her and showed how he trudged simply along the sandy path of the warm beach. The woman had told him before about childhood emotional neglect, and it fit way too close to home. "For once, you're speaking out your feelings, and your wife cares for you, looking after you. It'll take more than a leg, but I'm sure that if you let her in, you'll get there."

Tears brimming around the corners of his eyes and he wanted to scream at the salty air for making him emotional.

"Minseok-shi, it's okay to be dependent. Lean on her. Let her lead you. I'm certain that she'll teach you how to love yourself. And don't be hard on yourself. It's okay to show yourself compassion. When things go wrong, you needn't have to blame yourself all the time. You don't have to be perfect," these words she had told him over and over and over all of these years... now, they were starting to make sense. Maybe, Jayoung could help him. "And whenever you find it hard to express your feelings, just say so. I know you can't let everyone in at once, but start with her."

He wiped away a single tear from his eyes before it cascaded down his cheek. "Thanks, doc."

"No problem. If you still want to talk, I'll free up my schedule for you, Minseok-shi."

As he journeyed back to their stay, Minseok took steady steps, each of which built on to his insecurities, filling the cracks and his confidence slowly rose.

9:00 pm.

That took a while for him to gather himself and finally return. They must have moved on to other things. He didn't see any barbeque anywhere, but it didn't matter. He needed to talk to the woman.

"Jayoung-ah, I have something to—"

What he saw in the room that was supposed to be his and Jayoung's were 6 grown men smiling at him so brightly, welcoming him with open arms.

"Oh, hi, there. I see you've done checking yourself out," Kim Kai made it sound like it was entirely something else.

"shit, he _is_ walking again," Tao whispered in shock, hands clasped against his lips, eyes wide in amusement.

"He's the new Jesus." Kris nodded solemnly while folding his clothes. Always in an elegant pose that man. "I'd witnessed the second coming. He said _Fuck it!_ and walked on two legs."

"Well, I question the validity of your account, but you look good, Minseok. It's nice to see you get yourself together." Kyungsoo smiled warmly, his voice dipped in gold with a charm that managed to move Minseok just _a little._

"Wah~~ Now, you really look like a handsome soldier," Chanyeol stared at him in awe before abruptly standing and coming up close to him, towering the scared Minseok. "Can I get a hug?"

"Umm... O—okay."

As Minseok opened his arms awkwardly to hug a man he barely thought of as a friend, he glared at Yixing who giggling throughout the whole process.

"Don't mind him, Minseok-shi. He just loves getting close to people." Kim Kai almost cooed at the two of them while Kyungsoo just rolled his eyes.

"Especially tiny people like us." The Sous Chef suddenly changed his looks, and now Minseok felt like he could become a nameless corpse in the middle of the forest under Kyungsoo's deadly glare. "You hug me one more time, I swear I'll make kimchi out of you, Park."

"But –but Kimchi is mostly of vegetables."

"There are always exceptions in this world." That was a side of the little Sous Chef, which Minseok hadn't seen. And it was certainly making him shiver down his spine.

"omo! Minseok-shi, protect me."

He couldn't help but smile though. Minseok never admitted it as Chanyeol did, but he too loved to hug other people, but only the close ones. If Yixing knew that he loved hugs though, the Chinese man would never let him walk around without being squeezed to death by his unwelcome embraces.

"Thanks for the warm welcome, but... what are you doing here?"

Every chef except Yixing didn't move an inch while Chanyeol nuzzled in the nape of his neck a little longer, he drew back and whispered _fighting_ before retreating carefully back to behind Kim Kai as to not disturb the little Sous Chef who was still fuming.

"We're here to rest, of course." Yixing started nonchalantly. "I know, I know, we should walk around more. It's not that late yet, sure, but we're still pretty tired from the long drive. Resting early tonight and we'll have all the time to play tomorrow."

"But you said this room is for me and Jayoung." Ignoring what Yixing had just said, Minseok now crossed his arms and furrowed his brows.

"Oh. You see, Kim Minseok-shi. When you two got back here, Jayoung had a little drink with us." Kyungsoo suddenly started simply.

Minseok tensed at the word drinking, but then remembered that she was an adult again.

"3 glasses in and she started talking about how sweet you were to her." Chanyeol nodded cutely, eyes looking up at the ceiling as if he was imagining the whole scene.

"In fact, you were _so sweet_ to her that it became a little annoying." Kim Kai now glaring at him accusingly before long Minseok understood what was happening.

"Yes, I mean, I intended to have you to get together and stop the stupid arguments, but my plans worked _so well_ that we all thought it was time to change things up." The old Chinese then chuckled almost sinisterly at his own words when Kyungsoo spoke up.

"You're not allowed within a 100-meter radius of Jayoung at night."

"What— I'm not that kind of man—"

"We wouldn't know, would we?" The pink-haired chef now narrowing his eyes, his head shaking from left to right. "I know you're a gentleman and all, but when a man loves a woman... he is a perv."

" _Excuse me?_ " Minseok now tugging at his own hair stared at the chefs in disbelief, his body slumped forward. "But we have our own house anyway, we can stay in the—"

"It's the beach. She looks prettier pink under the light, and since you're no longer a sappy man staring at his crippled leg, you might actually start to care about how attractive she looks at the moment. Everything's too romantic here. The push factor is strong." Kris stated it like a fact, but then again, thinking about it, Minseok found the statement truer than ever.

"Yappipity-yap-yap. Now, now, due to _emotional_ constraints, I can only afford 2 rooms at the moment. One for the lady and one for us men."

"You can't even _sleep_ anyway." the man scoffed. 

"That's the whole point, Minseok-shi. We only take naps." Kyungsoo chuckled almost too deeply for his liking.

"So, we can take turns watching you sleep." A wiggle in the brow of Zhang Yixing and Minseok wanted to puke. "Wouldn't want you sneaking into her room, eh?"

What Minseok received was the most sarcastic smiles on the planet being projected onto his disappointed face.

When he stepped back to the room, his hand was caught by no other than Kim Kai. He didn't remember him leaving his seat.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh—"

"Where else he's going to but Yonggu? It's too dangerous. I give you 10 minutes." Yixing laid back on the bed once occupied by the woman now but lost all appeal due to the stupid grin of the Chinese.

"No, 5 minutes. 10 is too long." Kyungsoo chirped in to which Minseok just sighed.

"2 minutes is more than enough," Kris muttered when Kim Kai's hand yanked at his wrist.

"No, I give you 1 minute of staring and nothing else."

"Hey, now, 5 minutes." The old chef chimed in to stop the shenanigans and although it was a bit too much for the pink-haired chef to be this defensive, Minseok decided to stay silent and take it. It was his fault anyway. Maybe, he should've kept their reconciliation a secret.

A knock at her door, and opened was a sleepy Jayoung, her eyes trying to stay open, her hair messier than ever. It was the white crop top that caught him off guard, but Minseok tried not to fall victim to the chefs' accusation and disregarded her new look despite how alluring she may seem.

"Hey, can I say something?"

By the time they both sat on the bed face to face, she was certainly wakeful, sensing the gravity of his gaze.

"Oppa?"

"I— I have a lot of things on my mind, and when—" it had been peaceful for now only because he knew Jayoung was close to him. "Things happened during the past years ... I want to tell you."

The woman blinked, her lips slowly turned into the sweetest smile with her eyes crinkling at his words.

"It's been difficult. I may not know when or how I can fully explain it, but I just want to let you know that I want you to listen."

Without another word, she seemingly leapt into his arms, her face buried in his chest, her arms swung around his neck before she gazed up at him with a gentle kiss on the nape of his neck.

"Thank you for trusting me. Whenever you're ready, oppa. I'll listen well."

It would have been a really good night's sleep if he had her in his embrace along with her soft strands of pink hair against his chest, but Minseok got creepily spooned by Yixing, and he could definitely say this wasn't one of his high points in life.

4:12 am.

He tried. He really tried to not make a sound.

"Where do you think you're going, soldier boi?" A mischievous voice asked and all he had to do was look up and see that Yixing was just lying on his side, staring at him with a smile that could make him vomit.

"Pee."

"Well, then I'll escort you, buddy. Wouldn't want the ghosts to jump you now." Minseok could only groan and he was pushed forward. "Wouldn't want you to jump my student either."

"Gees. What kind of man do you think I am?"

It would have also been a peaceful pee, but Yixing was still spooning him while he was doing it and Minseok had the strongest urge to change the direction and shoot it at his annoying Chinese face. It didn't really take long before he could feel the man's neck started to slide over and Minseok could tell he was trying to peek.

"Zhang Yixing, I swear to god, I will pee on your corpse."

But the hold on his waist just tightened and the old chef just giggled at his reaction.

As he was cleaning his hands, Minseok felt something else.

Something intruding.

His lower area breached, and he could sense the cheeks of his innocent butt pulled so hard, he almost fell over.

"What— Zhang, did you just—"

"Spread your ass? Yeah, I did." A breathy chuckle down his neck. "Doesn't it feel refreshing?"

That night he laid traumatized under Kim Kai's and Kyungsoo's touch as he pleaded the two of them to protect him in his sleep from his evil pervy Chinese friend. Maybe, it was Kim Kai's voice along with a deep silvery chuckle of Kyungsoo. 

"I guess we stopped the wrong pervert."

🌊

He was typing down the address of his clients. His fingers tapping furiously on the keyboard. His mind zoned in, focused.

It was a sigh from the kitchen drawing him out of the statistics, a fish out of water. His eyes had to adjust, but the moment she came into his vision, his eyes crinkled behind his glasses.

"Rehydration, please."

He could feel the judgment from her gaze as he quietly accepted the glass of freshly brewed ginger tea. The warmth seeped into his hands when his palm held on to the glass. And when he took a sip, it was as if he could her warmth, too, setting his tired heart at peace.

11:20 am.

Minseok's eyes could see the bright ceiling. The smell of the beach and the sea stifling his nose and a tear cascaded down his cheek.

That was one of the most peaceful dreams he had ever had since he started serving.

**We're out under the sun. Come play!— Your lover <3**

The groan from his lips echoed the room when last night came back to haunt him. His back was still sore from all the unnecessary snuggling from the crazy Chinese. The thought of the old chef being his –

"God, no."

He could still feel the tinge of sharpness in that knee of his, but it was dull, and hopefully would become a distant memory.

It wasn't hard to spot her in the midst of a hectic volleyball match.

The fire in her hair and vigor in her strength as she jumped to smack the ball right into Chanyeol's face was more than an entertaining spectacle. He thought he was whipped. But then he got closer to see why everyone was watching and it was ... Kim Kai, Jayoung, and Yixing all crowding the other three, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, and Tao. Trying to stare each other down.

And the men were shirtless.

And she was in her own _attire._ There wasn't much to hide, but she did wear a flower-patterned _see-through_ shirt over the... well, it didn't really keep him guessing.

His brain hadn't even started to function this late into noon and now _that_ was turning his conscious mind into a blabbering devolving Neanderthal.

She belonged to the sea, he thought. So pretty and graceful, ignoring the fact that she had just screamed at Kim Kai for failing to block the hit ball from hitting their court. And he couldn't believe that she was actually his.

"Hey, there." Kris with his cool sunglasses on greeted him when he got to their wooden sunbeds. "Sit down, and take off your shirt."

"um, excuse me?" Suddenly, he was aware of his own body and hugged himself, amused at the Chinese's request.

"If you don't want your woman snatched by one of those muscles there, you better start stripping."

Suddenly, he realized that the crowd wasn't just compiled of women. There were some men and now his blood spiked. Though he wasn't sure that they were actually looking at Jayoung or probably at the other chefs, Minseok just couldn't risk it.

"You're going down!" It was rare to see Chef Kai this competitive. And she liked this version of him better.

As Chef Yixing and her stood by Chef Kai, they glared at the team across the net. Tao, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo seemed just as fierce with no intention of backing down before Chef Yixing hit his first volleyball across.

For once, she found something about school rewarding. She never really liked sports. In school, everything just turned against you and even something that was supposed to be fun became unbearably straining on her mind and body. She never thought the sport she hated so much would be so enjoyable at the beach rather than at school. The sand felt nice underneath her feet. The sun kept her heart burning and the sea breeze breathed life into her dull life. It felt alive to be moving and flying with the chefs, who were just ruthlessly destroying each other with the volleyball match.

Before long, Chef Kris called out to them for a little break. It was then that she started to pick up the staring and lo and behold, the shirtless chefs did draw quite a crowd. Well, they weren't looking too bad with their physiques.

"You know, I'm not the only one stealing all the stares." Chef Kai came up in his sweaty self, fabulously swaying his tender pink hair in the sun, flexing his golden muscles and the brain cells of the women around. A little nod towards Jayoung he did and it had her blushing madly.

She tried hard not to think about it too hard and just focus on the match in her quite revealing attire, but wearing the blue bikinis wasn't too bad as she also had a rose-patterned see-through shirt buttoned up over her body. That helped calm her down a little. It was still very out there for the first time as she stood, feeling some stares men and boys alike passing by.

"Shut up, Chef."

"Hey, I know what's fun." The chef jogged towards her with bottles of water.

Out of the blue, she felt water down her chest and looked up to see something about Chef Kai that was somehow slowed down in a way that only in romantic movies worked as the chef watered his sun-kissed abs under the glorious stare of the cheering crowd.

"Woah! That looks great! Let me try!" Chef Yixing then got himself some water started chugging the liquid down his body, and in reality, it looked more than stupid, but his muscles and the lean body was more than enough to be the saving grace of this act.

Soon, all the chefs joined and she was the only one that looked like a wet fish trying to stay alive under the burning sun, unlike her muscular sunbae.

Now, that her shirt was all soaked, the cold breeze took away the warmth, but at least the angry sun was still there to dry her out. As she was leaving to get herself a towel, she thought she saw someone familiar and from behind it felt like she had known this person before with his crazy Hawaiian coconut shirt.

"Omo! Suho-oppa!"

"Ne dongsaeng!" the bright smile greeted her and his arms extended. The woman just happily let her brother in law engulfed in her, not caring if her wet shirt damaged the crazy patterned shirt.

"You look ridiculous." The girl giggled at the offending stance as he huffed an air of frustration, his arms crossed, his head away from her.

"Oh, please. I look sensational. You just don't want to admit it."

"Are you on drugs?" A head tilt and a deep chuckle resonated down her spine.

Minseok smiled down at her with his shy gummy smile, acting like he wasn't just displaying his soldier abs and biceps to the world at the moment, and without knowing, she was seeing too much of the flexing and had to turn back to her crazy brother in law.

"Well, I like them. I bought 9 just in case, but it seemed like there were more people here than I had anticipated."

She tried to keep an eye on her favorite dog trainer, Byun Baekhyun, who just popped up out of nowhere with his, too, ridiculous patterned Hawaiian shirt. "Hola! It's free real estate!"

Even when Minseok's friends and colleagues Jongdae and Sehun whose shirt was embedded with vacation beach, cars, and trees.

"Oh, I like your shirt though, Jongdae-shi!" it was a pretty flower-patterned one that didn't seem too over the top like the others. But the fact that Minseok was still shirtless right beside her had her paralyzed. She couldn't look. _No, no looking._

It was strange that Baekhyun had a volunteer program happening around here while Suho just so happened to 'have a vacation at this same beach with Jongdae and Sehun.'

"You're a CEO. How are you this free?" Minseok finally addressing the problem, but in her eyes, she could really only address those lines on his chest –

"Hey! HEY! I deserve to enjoy my own vacation all I want!"

It was getting harder to keep her eyes on the horrifying Hawaiian shirts. She hated the way sunlight split on to him, shining on his muscles just right that it was burning her heart with so much perfection it hurt.

"You, too, put this on." Suho then pulled another one out of thin air and drape it over his younger brother's shoulders.

All of a sudden, the black shirt with some weird white pattern looked great on him. Great. The fact that Minseok didn't actually bother to button it up, leaving his body exposed.

_Oh, lord. Kill me. Now._

But in all the midst of drooling over abs. She noticed the shine in Suho's eyes. The eye smiles he beamed at his little brother was more than blinding. The little squeezes on his shoulders, the tender touches on his face, the soft protective hold around Minseok's shoulders.

"And you, kiddo!" the old brother in law turned his attention to her and strode along the beach to Yixing's side.

Perhaps, no one noticed. Or everyone noticed.

The man just brought her into the tightest hold and she could've sworn she heard sniffling on his part as his face buried in her shoulders. He didn't have to say anything. She knew.

As Jayoung went off to prepare the food with her sunbaes, Minseok stayed slacked in his position. Staring helplessly at the thin fabric clinging to her delicate skin.

Before long, Suho came back with something in his hand, smiling.

"Hey, that's mine." Gingerly, taking the camera from Suho's hands, Minseok looked up at the older man for an explanation in that mischievous face of his.

"For a guy who holds a PhD., you're pretty dim." Leaning back on his wooden sunbed, Suho shook his head disapprovingly at his younger brother, heaving a deep sigh. "You knew you were to be at the beach and you knew your wife was going to be in her best – OW. HEY!"

"You're just a pervert." Minseok scoffed quietly, checking the battery and adjusting the setting on his camera.

"I'm just trying to look after my own little brother."

As much as Minseok hated his brother for being a bratty old man, he also hated the fact that he was right. While everyone was enjoying their time on the beach, drinking, eating, cooking, and hanging out, Minseok took his time playing with his camera, taking in the beauty of his surroundings, sometimes turning around to capture the moments with everyone. Looking through some of the photos taken, Minseok laughed at the fact that Suho had to apologize to the other three Chinese for whom he failed to buy Hawaiian shirts. What Suho didn't know was the fact that everyone except the three of them was not having it with the shirt, but went along with him anyway. Now wasn't the time to hurt the CEO's feelings.

And of course, he couldn't forget her photos. The sun did her well, lighting up every inch of her skin. His heart skipped a beat.

The moment one of them noticed Minseok was taking pictures of them, it seemed like slowly the number of people grew. And soon, everyone was in the picture posing in such compromising positions that had Minseok almost doubling over.

"Come on, here, trooper," Jongdae called out to him, his kitty smile warmed his heart.

With the help of a good Samaritan, Minseok stood awkwardly in the picture with everyone else and Jayoung by his.

"So... uh..." Only when things quieted down and hours passed into the dimming purple orange clouds of the evening did Minseok finally had the courage to approach her. And Jayoung turned to him with raised brows and a curious smile. "I was thinking of going on a walk along the umm... well, I thought you wanted to get out of here?"

Her shoulders relaxed, head tilted, a knowing smile. "I was waiting for you to say that."

It was fun in its own way.

Talking about the food, the friends, the assignments she procrastinated on, the money she lost on her own to her first job. She would run ahead and chased the sea. The footprints she left behind, the trails of her radiance setting his mind afloat. Her pink hair seemingly seeping and blending into the sky. An endless beauty. And he would follow behind closely. He didn't care if the camera was a little shaky at that point. With her, he couldn't care less.

Hopefully, the sky was dark enough to hide her reddened cheeks. The way his little frown arched on his brows as he checked his photos, trying to see the picture, was prickling at her mind. His gummy smile would then flash across his face and his chest would puff out a little chuckle. Her mind swirled at the exposed abs. The way that camera just hung lazily over his chest pressing against his skin, his flower shirt dancing with the wind revealing a little more of him, she just wanted to run away from him and run at him all at once.

"Hey."

The sand she was preoccupied with now forgotten.

He stood before her, the sea breeze kept making him blink it was actually adorable. She couldn't keep her hair in place either, straying in different directions blocking her view, but she could feel his fingers tracing the crazy strands of her hair and pressed them down, his palm tender on her cheeks, thumbs brushing her temple curiously.

"You know everyone keeps calling me your wife."

The camera was poetic and all, but it was in the way. This time she trailed her hands up his neck, but she was careful not to touch any skin. Slowly, she gripped the strap and lifted it over his head, drawing another chuckle from him. It was a bit heavy but now that she got the strap all wound up around her wrist.

"But I'm your ex-wife."

"well, I wouldn't even call that a marriage." Another step closer and she could the light press of his body against hers. Her right hand keeping the camera away from their bodies, pressing on his lower back, her left hanging on his biceps of which she hopefully got to see more. "I did mention a start over, didn't I?"

When he leaned in close and pressed their forehead together, she knew it was real. He knew it was real.

It looked funny staring at him this close, so she just focused on his thin lips.

"How do you want us to restart?"

A small whisper, "Like this."

Her eyes fluttered when she sensed him closing in on her. A tender press of his lips over her eyelid. Another over her forehead and he drew back as she looked up to him with a dazed look before diving in for a deep kiss.

She tried swimming away and against him, but he was firm in his moves, pushing ever deeper, making her dug her toes in the wet sand below. His right hand came to her waist bringing her ever closer. She could feel his bare chest against the thin fabric of her shirt and had her legs wobble.

And when he actually dug his nails into her hair and dragging with his kisses, she just had to whine at the sudden force. It was as if he knew she was out of breath, Minseok drew back just a little before pressing little chaste kisses over her cheek, trailing down to her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

"I love you," he mumbled against her exposed collarbone and she had to return the favor.

Leaning in to press her head against his bare chest, she muttered, "I love you too."

They both knew this was real. 

💕

"So?" Chef Kai smiled at the woman who had just come back from an interview.

And all Jayoung could do was shaking her head.

A small smile from the chef and he gestured her for a hug.

5:30 pm.

A sluggish walk to the bus. She half wanted to cry, half wanted to stab somebody. Maybe, the latter could be a little inappropriate.

Chef Yixing had tried to find her job openings, and she had been more than active in spotting anything that would be involved with food. It was difficult without parents, she must admit. Then again, if her parents were going to be assholes anyway, they shouldn't get credit for raising her at all. Plus, her role models were her teacher and her k-drama oppa. No thank you, parents.

Summer was getting closer and the cold weather was dissipating. The clouds getting warmer, and her shirt sticky smell of sweat.

It wasn't really going anywhere at this point. Soon, she would be free from school and do something cooking-related in the summer, but it seemed like a lot of things were going against her at the moment. Her mind wasn't going to be taking this much hit from all the rejections. Each time they said no, she grew more and more distant. Not everyone was a chef in the world anyway. Why was it so hard to get a job there?

Her legs all noodles unable to move on as she approached the front door. Her hands ready to throw away her backpack.

All her proper makeup was done for nothing. They didn't even take one look at her. Was she that _unattractive_ to be a waiter? Oh, gracious, she wanted to punch that interview's face in. All of her reflexes and knife skills learned from Chef Kai and Chef Yixing were enough to prepare her for a murderous rampage. If she had to, she would skin all of those assholes alive. Luckily, the purge wasn't a real thing in real life, or else, people like them would be having _a lot of problems_ with her.

Pushing the door forward, she found that something was stuck at the back. It wasn't opening when—

"Hey, you're back. Welcome home."

Maybe, it was the fact that Minseok dyed his hair bright chocolate brown or maybe it was the fact that he was wearing a ponytail. Whatever it was, Minseok was super adorable in an apron, and she wanted to squeeze his cheeks.

"Oppa." Quietly, she brought him in for a much-needed power hug. She could feel the surprise in Minseok's movement, but he didn't really hesitate and returned the hold.

His chin poking at her head. "Aw, bad day?"

Jayoung only squirmed into his chest further, a little whine from her part lips. His ice cream and vanilla scent filling up her senses. His muscly arms lifting her and she immediately wrapped her legs up and around his waist, letting him take her wherever.

At this point, she had already given up on vision and closed her eyes, feeling Minseok walking around for a bit before sensing a big dip and then his body laying down. Soon enough, he kept still with small little hums, his fingers tender on her worn-out pinkish hair that now looked more like a deeper color of beige. Jayoung suddenly got the mental note to dye her hair perhaps back to chocolate brown to match Minseok. That would be cute, right?

A deep breath.

Now fluttering her eyes open, she felt a lot groggier than she remembered. Lifting her head, her lips hit something quite angular. After a few more seconds of adjusting, an image of smug Minseok staring at her, and she was practically drooling against his chin.

"Omo. My bad." She had no idea where her hands were, and trying to get them in front of her face was all she could muster. Her sleeves cleaning up her saliva from Minseok face and neck and—

"Look who decided to wake up." Oh, his voice this soft and this close should be illegal.

"what." Really, she pushed everything she had in her hands and turn to find the clock.

8:55 pm.

"Omo! I— I've been sleeping this whole time? Oh, no. Why didn't you wake me!?"

It wasn't even considered a punch at that point, she could only tap his face and slumped on his chest again.

"Well," his lips brushing her ears. And no matter how tired she was, that still set her up for a world of hurt and bliss. Just that alone. "Now, I have a lot of blackmail material. I must say... I'm surprised that I'm not the only one drooling in my sleep." Hearing clicks from his phone behind her back, she scoffed and tried to push up.

In the next second, she realized that she was still _on him_ as he sat up and now, noticing that they'd been snuggling on the couch this whole time.

Still slightly disoriented, she stretched her arms to the back as she could go before accidentally falling backward, but Minseok's hand gripped her waist quite tightly that had her blushing this late at night.

"Aigoo... it's amazing how you're still so clumsy." She couldn't really look at him at the moment, his gaze made her feel like she was something that would be easily broken, but that was the contrary.

"I'm not."

A deep chuckle and she was yanked forward, so close their noses almost touch, but she drew back before that can happen.

"I made dinner. Come on." she was going to go by herself when she was maneuvered back into a bridal style in his arms on their way to the kitchen.

"Nah~~ I shower first..." The sweat must have dried up by now, and it was getting uncomfortable.

"No. It's almost 9, and you haven't eaten anything."

"But I'm so sticky, I have to shower—"

He then dropped her on one of the chairs, leaning closer, hands gripping the armchairs, blocking her attempts of running away.

"Unless you let me shower with you, then maybe showering should –"

"OKAY! DINNER! EAT!"

Hiding her flushed face in the palm of her hands, Jayoung willed herself not to imagine things with that sentence alone. Of course, she liked the more comfortable Minseok now, but perhaps, Minseok was getting a little too relaxed at this point that she couldn't really stop.

The next 5 minutes were spent in a cozy silence as she watched Minseok went around the kitchen heating the food back to the proper temperature. There was a different air about him that she loved. She thought it was impossible to love him more, but then, he had to prepare her all the food for her, set everything up, and sat there, chin on his palms, watching her intently.

"What?" it was getting a bit weird, but being watched while eating was something strange. Suddenly, she understood his feeling when she was the one who made him eat.

"Nothing. You eat."

As uncomfortable as his stare was, she did feel a nice sense of security with him around. These days had been exhausting, to say the least, but it was nice to have Minseok at home waiting for her, cooking her dinner, looking after the dogs—

"Hey, it's almost summer. School's almost done, correct?" his head tilted curiously, his chin leaning more into his palm.

"Ne. What? Is something the matter?" she was halfway biting off the pickled radish before –

"Then, honeymoon in summer is perfect."

Now, she had to down a lot of water before she spewed everything back out.

Counting his own fingers innocently was Minseok, and Jayoung had no choice but to send him death glares.

"Ya-Yah! Kim Minseok-shi! Why are you talking about that all of a sudden!?"

"Well... I think it's about time?" A coy smile and suddenly she wanted to smack him in the face.

"Aish! I'm trying to get a job here! Stop trying to get me married!" that drew out a raised brow from Minseok who suddenly seemed flared up.

"Omo! Who's the one who wanted to get married first?"

"I don't know! Certainly, not me!"

That, of course, made Minseok frowned more than deeply before he rolled his eyes over and walked off the kitchen.

"Wah!!! Kim Minseok-shi! Are you mad at me, right now?"

Silence.

"OH!? REALLY? YAH! KIM MINSEOK!"

A loud slam on the bedroom door.

"Urgh." Suddenly, dinner wasn't as tasteful as seconds ago. "What the hell? How dare he get angry? Huh!? I have my own problems here. What's the rush? Jees."

Wait a minute...

"Oh no..."

Jayoung knew she was locked out of the room.

"Kim Minseok! Kim Minseok-shi! Minseok-oppa. Oppa~~~ I love you~~ Uh... Let's shower together?" 

Well, she was unsure of that last one. She tried to sweeten up her voice, but knowing his sudden mood swings, she knew she had to sleep on the couch tonight.

With a small groan, she glared up at the bedroom before dropping herself on to the couch where they last snuggled.

"Ay~~ Why does he get to be older than me?" 

💕

Midnight. He couldn't fall asleep. Flashes still lingered on his mind. He knew he had to tell her, and he did, but not everything. Not everything she could deal with. At this point, it was difficult waking up not right beside her.

He sat quietly on the floor watching her laid on the couch soundly asleep.

It was childish of him.

A deep breath.

Minseok spent the rest of the night thinking of the right words.

8:25 am.

"Here." the man had printed something out. His hands shaking the paper in front of the clueless adult before him just fresh out of the shower as his head looked away, eyes watching the ceiling. Not really wanting to pick up the argument from last night.

Jayoung was relatively quiet when he looked back, her eyes wide and blinking while she inspected the paper.

"I think volunteering jobs will be more forgiving." Minseok really didn't want to say that, muttering through the sentence. He understood her need to get into the world immediately, but with a temper, she grew to develop like Yixing and the cockiness of Kim Kai, she clearly wasn't cut out for waiting tables in crazy restaurants with plenty of health hazard environments. "It's not too far from here though it was on the outskirts of the city. The elderly need all the help they can get."

"But it's ... too long."

"You have to work hard for it." He was surprised that she would complain at such things when –

"I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about you." She went to sit on her bed, taking a while to form a sentence. Opening her lips and closing them. "It's... oh, never mind."

"I'm sure all of them have something to say about cooking. You can learn from them."

Minseok thought he miscalculated when she looked up to him again, a bright and eye crinkling smile.

"Thank you for the recommendation." A very polite response. "I'll do it well."

All he could muster was a nervous chuckle. It was times like this that he forgot himself. They were together, but there were still remnant reminders of reality to spike at his confidence.

"Oh, one for your daughter?"

It was at this moment that he could hear a faint snap in the distance and slowly feeling his limps turning into ash and dissipating into thin air. Half of his pride was gone. Half of his disappointment remained. Perfectly balanced as all things should be.

All Minseok could do was smile a broken awkward smile and walked out of the store to Jayoung with the orange juice she needed.

"Oppa?"

"Huh?"

"You seem out of it."

Minseok didn't really get to react when the woman just pulled at his elbow and hook their arms together, her palm now in his, and she just brought their intertwined hold closer to her lips, placing the softest peck on the back of his hand.

His heart swelled and suddenly he forgot all the baggage on his shoulders.

Only when she kept walking did he remember that they were supposed to get to the nursing home in the volunteering project.

"Well, I guess it's right over there." Jayoung nodded subconsciously, her hold still tight on his hand. "Thanks for bringing me here. I'll take the bus home later."

"If it gets too dark, you have to call me." Minseok tried to deadpan, but maybe the smile on his face was too apparent for it to be a threat.

"Got it. Bye, love you!"

"Love you," a whisper she could barely hear as she strolled further away, leaving him leaning against his car, heaving a sigh the moment she was out of his sight.

Being bold was difficult. It was hard to keep that strong and forward personality up. It broke from time to time. And today was that time.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't dramatic soldier boy."

Yixing surged forward to engulf him in a firm hug before he was swirled around and seated by the window, a glass of ice tea helping him soak in the things around him.

"You know, money isn't going to make itself. You need to get to work, buddy. You two need to find shit or else, you both be eating off the dirt and I won't help you whatsoever."

Minseok rolled his eyes at the old chef's words, knowing full well that that wasn't the truth.

"Anyway, when is the marriage?"

Obviously, Minseok's airway was now stuffed with tea and it wasn't pleasant.

"We haven't really talked about it."

Minseok remembered his own build-up from last night and cringed at how needy he was. Shaking his head, Minseok breathed out. If she needed space, he should give it to her.

"Then, start talking about it."

His shoulders slumped as he sat silently in his car.

How could he do this? Worry raced in his mind as he thought about his own position and Jayoung's current goals. She wanted to be a cook and run a restaurant. And at this moment, Yixing was right. Minseok hadn't got his act together, his own goals still unsure. How could he support her in this state?

"Oppa! Got the job! I can start working immediately. My god, the grandmas here are adorable! They just can't handle me cooking food and the grandpa are so precious! They tried to stop me from all the heavy lifting and everything. And it's so peaceful there..."

Fingers on his back of his hands and he found Jayoung rubbing circles on them, her eyes trained on him, pulling him away from mindlessly feeding the dogs. His heart jumped at the tender touch.

"Wanna talk about it?"

She always noticed. And already he felt his cheeks burned at what he was about to say, his eyes closed. As much as he tried to push himself to be out there, it could be emotionally straining from time to time.

"I... well, I thought after you're done with the volunteering. We could go on a trip? Um, just the two of us?"

He had been planning this for a while, but this was the first step and the most difficult one, of course. Silence enveloped them, and Minseok felt as though his frail soul was taken away, his breath heavy. Jayoung was too flustered if anything. They'd just been on sort of a trip even though it lasted quite short and most of the days were spent with him just sulking about his physical state and nights being wasted in the company of old angry chefs. Plus, she had to go to school and everything –

"That sounds nice. Where do you want to be?"

"Oh. You're alright with that?" The man blinked, dumbfounded.

"Yes."

"... it's in Jinhae, Changwon."

"How long?"

"On the weekend, so two days, three nights?" He held his breath at this point. And he looked away again. "I mean it's spring and I wanted to make it up to you."

"It sounds wonderful."

She said it so certain, but her eyes slightly faltered at the end there, bright red burning at her ears. And Minseok willed himself not to think of implications as he kept a mental to make sure that nothing could go wrong on this upcoming trip like many trips before did.

💕

She stretched out her limbs, eyes peeking at the dawn creeping up on her outside. Perched on the windowsill, she looked over to the other side of the room. Minseok sleeping sounding on the bed, the sun kissing his dewy skin, taking away all her worries.

Sometimes when he was bold enough, Minseok would come into her room like this and occupy the bed or sat close to the windowsill and sleep, but never with her close.

On the side of the bed now, her hands tracing his chocolate hair ever so lightly. She would let the dogs wake him up later.

It felt as if nothing was holding back Minseok anymore, and now they were building up from square one once more although she didn't really mind the smalls steps.

"Aigoo~~ look at you. You know your knife well." One of the grandfathers cooed at her slicing up all the vegetables.

"Thank you..." A small bow and a blush blooming on her cheeks.

"You know you shouldn't have put the onions in too quickly..." The other grandmother pointed to her, but they all laughed it off.

Perhaps, Minseok was right. She should start from somewhere forgiving first. Although it wouldn't be the first she had to face humiliation and disrespect, Jayoung still needed to learn how to keep everything under wrap, taking it all like Chef Yixing. She knew that the moment she was out of her parents' grasp she just refused to be under anyone else ever again, which meant the faster she could run her own business the better. Now, she knew to take it, step by step, and learn it from the ground up. Sometimes, _being yourself_ was another way of _being an asshole._ And she did not want to be labeled the very thing she swore to destroy.

It was when she pulled back from sweep the ground a little too hard that she almost fell over. Soon, she would understand the pain of being old. The starting point was here. Already getting a headache only from sitting up too quickly. What about Minseok then? The man was in mid-thirty already –

_Oh, dear. That's old..._

Sometimes, Jayoung, too, forgot how _not young_ Minseok was. It was hard to think he was any older when he was acting like a child, being shy one point and throwing random little cute tantrums the next.

"Noona? You alright?" big hands on her shoulders. So much bigger than Minseok's without a doubt.

"Oh, I got it, Jisung-ah." the kid had been a little closer to her these days. He was one of the youngest volunteers around.

"Just making sure you're okay. Let's go back to the house. Everything is done for the day." He said it ever so softly with that youthful expression of his.

"Jayoung-ah!" That voice. Oh, she knew that from anywhere.

Minseok in his most usual attire, seemingly just got out of the house this late in the evening to get her back home. It was telling how sometimes Minseok couldn't really hide his smile no matter how secretive he wanted to be. The cute little wave from afar pulling her in.

"My boyfriend's here. Gotta go." Jayoung gave the kid a nod before leaving. In actuality, she was tempting to say fiancé, but Minseok was just taking his time too much at this point.

Minseok seemed a little tensed with his hand tightly closed around hers. His grip on the wheels had his skin turning white. The eye smile was still there. He answered all her questions about his day just fine, but his hands were a little warmer than she expected.

It was decided that Chef Kai was officially over the dumb-looking red-headed chef. A few toss and turns, here and there, and suddenly Chef Chanyeol was just another person he just found attractive.

"I mean, I still feel something..." A long sigh from Chef Kai when Chef Yixing showed up and passed the dishes to her to clean up. "But to be honest, there are better alternatives... Have you seen Hyunbin?"

"Um... I don't think he's gay." She blinked at Chef Kai who just burst out laughing and gaining a disdainful glare from Chef Kris who clearly was not impressed.

So many pans and dishes piled up before her, and she simply tightened her grip. If she couldn't do much else, she might as well get good at it. Perhaps, if she pressed into the dishes hard enough, she could get a workout to prepare herself for smelting her knife and sharpening it for ... food.

Sometimes, Chef Yixing did not make it easy for everyone to like him obviously, and him treating her like an expendable made it worse, but then again, she wasn't _truly_ at his standards yet. He didn't say it, but she could feel it. Jayoung was more than keen on changing the old chef's mind though. Now was not the time to brood and give up. Maybe it was his way of trying to toughen her up for the real-life though she felt like after all that she'd been through was more than _tough_.

"Jealous of Chef already?" Sous Chef Kyungsoo showed up and helped to bring the rest of the dishes into the sink, standing by her side. Immediately, her eyes drew back from glaring at the old grumpy chef and Minseok having what seemed to be a passionate conversation about something.

It was so much easier for her sunbaes to tease her now. Everyone knew what was supposed to happen, but their slow pace was more than a drag on everyone's psyche that they just wanted everything to be over with.

Jayoung silently watched Minseok eyed the list on his laptop. Noticing the older man had been preoccupied with all the reading, she walked herself to the kitchen and brew some tea for his tired eyes.

It was strange how he would lose himself staring at the screen. So many colors he presented himself with. Sometimes, she could see him working on the pictures from way back when in Japan. She was surprised to see even stranger pictures of her she hadn't seen before as they weren't printed out in the book.

She had seen him lost in his flow a few times, and this did not get old. It was his little frown and silent passionate eyes stuck to the screen. She was terrified and felt just as lost when he quit his job, but now that he was focusing on all the arts and the designs with all strange colors, lines, and graphs, her lowly artistic mind could barely comprehend, she was elated.

His hands moving, keyboard tapping, all of those mouse clicking that should be annoying to her ears, she found to be relaxing. He wouldn't know it, but sometimes he would step into her room, thinking it was his, and started working. But then again, she wasn't sure if it was incidental. 

Slowly but surely, 'his' room was no longer his. He would say that he spilled coffee on his bed, too much drool on his pillows, the dogs were taking over, the chair wasn't as comfortable as hers. All of which were reasonably _true._ But it was clear that Minseok was trying to communicate something.

This time she found him sitting on the windowsill, back pressing against the wall, his head resting on the thick glass window, his brows tightly furrowed, his lips between his teeth biting, fingers scratching his forearms.

She didn't want to disrupt him, but his glasses that kept falling off the bridge of his nose as he sniffed and squinted his eyes at the screen was the stuff of sweets.

A poke at his nose and Minseok out of his trance gazed up at her first with a surprised look like he was caught doing something terrible, then with a content expression, stretching out a gummy smile for her.

"Hi, you." She quietly said when he pushed his laptop further to the other side of the windowsill and hooked his arm around her.

"Hi." It was easy to fall into Minseok like this, sitting comfortably in his laps as he snuggled closer to the nape of her neck. A soft sigh tickled her skin. And his grip was on her was firmer, cradling her close.

"It's time you sleep." She whispered.

11:30 pm. It was late, especially for him. She didn't want to think about it that way, but it wasn't something she could just ignore. If at this age of hers she was already dying of back pain, she couldn't imagine how much worse it was for Minseok. She knew how he dealt with it, but he could only care so much for himself until it was considered as neglect.

"But I'm not halfway done..." mumbled the tired Minseok. It was adorable really when he would relax even more the moment she traced his hair and patted his head.

"Come on," stood the small woman. Her hands reluctantly pried away from his hold. Almost giggled when he threw her an offended look that she would do such things. "I'm not letting you break your back and fall asleep sitting every night."

Before Minseok knew what was going on, she took him by the hands and with all her strength haul the man over to her bed. Dumbfounded, he followed her lead and got himself to the center when she turned around laid against him.

"Be a good spoon and sleep."

Jayoung would be lying if she told him, she didn't care if he slept in her bed. It was beating like crazy her young heart, but she wasn't complaining. She always loved the feeling of his arms around her. So with a kick from the end of the bed, she hooked the blanket with her toes and pull it up to cover them both.

She was about to fall asleep with so much anxiety of not knowing what Minseok felt when he sleepily chuckled and held her closer according to her command.

For once, she felt all of his body heat against her and for the first time in this fragile love, she truly felt at peace.

💕

He opened his eyes to the plump cheeks all red, perhaps from the tossing and turning. Jayoung ventured close to squeeze his organs out even in her dreams, but Minseok couldn't really complain.

The creaking in his back lessened and the numbness set in. The laptop on the windowsill remaining. He was working on his first assignment. This degree was quite expensive, but if he put everything into this, he might be on to something. He was supposed to make a slick photo book. A random pick. Others got to design a website, a magazine, a novel, an advert flyer... maybe he should've just stuck to photography, but... he was learning something was just as integral.

It was killing him inside whether it was a good idea to put Jayoung in the whole project. Cartooning her would mean changing every format, but he didn't want to show her real face. It would take time, but the deadline was so close. Why did he impulsively think of her as his project? From a technical standpoint, it was clearly not a wise choice. From a heart-shaped eyes standpoint? Definitely worth it.

"Morning." A throaty whisper prickled his chest. Jayoung titled her head up, blinking. It was deliberate when she moved close to peck his cheek. "I'll have to wake early for the grannies." It was another kiss on his hair, and she moved away, leaving him star-struck.

Pushing himself up, Minseok caught his own flushed cheeks in the glass window and rolled his eyes before walking to the windowsill to grab his laptop.

There was something in his heart right then. He could hear steps nearby, shower turning on. Minseok blinked and realized what was happening.

_Stop it... you old pervert._

But sitting in her bed, back comfortably resting against the headboard. Was he delusional or was his bed so uncomfortable that this one was so much better? His bedroom was somewhat similar, but he knew what was missing.

Restarting the laptop, he slowly took in what surrounded him. Blue. All the school supplies and the cookbooks on the shelf that Jayoung was probably hoarding and not getting around to actually reading. Maybe, he could teach her how to not move on to another book and finish books properly.

However, when Jayoung stepped out of the bathroom, all fresh-faced and in her volunteer uniform already, he stopped thinking again.

"Oppa, you're staying home?" She asked nonchalantly, still drying her hair with a towel.

"Oh, I am." In the reflection, Minseok knew his head was a mess of birds' nests, eyes with a hole deeper than Suho's love for girl groups.

So if he were to stand from outside the window and watched what was happening right now, Minseok was definitely a creep just staring at the woman getting ready to leave. He would tell himself to say something, anything to not make it so awkward. How did he get a job as a consultant in the first place? Then again, it was never him who started the conversation or questions. He was always answering to others' needs and not his own. Even now it was difficult to say a word. Why was it so difficult? It was a piece of cake the other day—

"Oppa," she was standing next to the bed as he stared up at her, out of his thoughts. "You don't have to push yourself too hard. And stop biting your lips. They're going to bleed."

Only then, he licked his now puffy lips.

"You tell me to not overwork, so you, too, should listen to your own advice. And don't worry about me. I'm on my last day today. I think it'll be a while to get that certificate, but when I get back home, I'll need your help and finding more volunteering jobs." She crossed her arms, thoughtfully muttering her mind out to him. "Anyway, I'll make breakfast, so don't forget to eat it, alright?"

Minseok nodded blankly before getting another small peck on his cheeks. And of course, this time, he had to force himself to grab her arm before she left.

Jayoung just turned back with a smile. "Ne?"

"I um..." His mind was still blank at that point.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to say, oppa." Her hands clasped around his and rubbed circles on the back of his hand. That was certainly more than relieving. "You being all silent is actually pretty adorable."

Once more, he couldn't find another word to say when she leaned down to press her warm lips against his dry ones and he could feel his shoulders relaxed.

"Thanks." He mumbled against her lips.

And when she looked away with a shy smile, he realized she loved him just as much, and he believed it.

Of course, Minseok couldn't forget the trip he was planning. Jinhae. His hands now clammy as he stood by the front gate of the elderly community waiting to pick Jayoung up.

It wasn't easy figuring out what to do with his assignment and at the same time, planning a weekend getaway with his future... wife...

Minseok shook his head. At this point, he shouldn't be shy about this. He grunted through the cold and simmering heat of his adulthood, the military service and now waiting for her. It shouldn't be tough for him. He had always thought he was humble and hard-working in his work ethic, but really he was still a spoiled rich chaebol, and he had to constantly reflect or else, this would never work.

And the moment Jayoung stepped out of the place a huge smile on her face, laughing with no worries, he knew that if he must try, now wasn't the time to sulk around and mope at everything. He thought he had gotten rid of the habit, but since he wasn't monitoring himself, it was coming back.

When Jayoung spotted him and waved brightly, running towards him with no regrets, Minseok willed himself, hands brushing against his own long coat, getting rid of all the sweat. Opening his arms for her now felt effortless, and he would like to keep it that way.

"Time to pack up. Let's go on a road trip."

Now, he stared at his food flabbergasted.

"Oh, Minnie... I don't think she would mind the wedding." Yixing practically shoved all the food in his mouth. "Plus, you're already engaged, come on."

"Well, it's actually her rings, and she told me to wear it with her, so she could ward off potential candidates..." Minseok remembered quite clearly, staring at the silver ring at his finger. It could be a proposal from her, but there was no further discussion. And they just kept wearing them without words.

They kept the dogs at Jongdae's. Now, Minseok blinked through the chilly dawn as he drove them to their destination. Jayoung on the passenger seat drooling against the glass window he chuckled at.

It was a nice getaway for them. Minseok felt free, freer than when they were in Japan. The man watched her jumping around enjoying the cherry blossom festival in the place. He smiled at the photos he took. There weren't many differences from the past Jayoung in Japan really. The same poses. The same smile.

With everyone occupied in their own world, Minseok could just enjoy himself without being stared at. He previously looked in the mirror, worried he might look too out of place, too far estranged from Jayoung's looks, but all she had to do was giving him a power hug and a peck at his forehead and now he was holding her hand proudly, walking on the wooden bridge over the pond filled with cherry blossoms floating. Everything was pink and filled with colors. And he too felt the same.

It was more than endearing that he had to piggyback a tipsy Jayoung filled with soju throughout the chilly night in Jinhae. Every time she burped, it was just fried chicken and Korean pancakes. Minseok couldn't wait to tease her later.

Of course, he couldn't piggyback all day. His back was already dying, so they sat on the bench, feeling the night breeze brushing against their face.

It was mesmerizing the stars. Definitely worth it to come here. He had been questioning himself whether or not this was a good idea. Parts of him just couldn't get rid of that old him of second-guessing, but he didn't mind that part of himself anymore. All he had to do now was just deal with it.

Minseok didn't realize it until he felt a yank at his scarf, and to his left was a starry-eyed Jayoung blinking up at him.

But then she titled her head up and pouted before licking her lips, and Minseok just chuckled. Obviously, he didn't have the heart to deny her demands. Leaning forward with a kiss, he could feel her lips stretching to a big smile and then a giggle.

"Kim Minseok." She stared at him with a determined look, and he was just taken aback by the straightforwardness, but he huffed out a yes regardless of her shenanigans. "Can you like... marry me?"

That definitely made him put a brake on all the tiredness he was feeling.

"I mean... I gave you my rings... we're fiancé already, but we haven't asked the question yet... It's been so long already... let's just do it." He knew she was conscious, but it was the way she just limped around that he found undeniably loveable. "Do I ask you to marry me or is it you? Oh, no... I don't have more rings to do that. Wait, do I kneel or stand up?"

"Well, I thought we could use a few more days... but since you asked..." Minseok shook his head and chuckled as he reached into his pockets. "now, now, slow down..." he chuckled when she dropped to kneel against the pavement. Minseok pushed her back and had her sit on the bench while he kneeled. "I got my own rings... so how do you want to do it?"

Clearly, she was getting sober now, cheeks puffy and flaming. Jayoung suddenly silent, eyes anticipating before letting out a whisper. "Ask me."

"Will you say yes if I ask?"

Jayoung nodded eagerly, and of course, Minseok felt the confidence. It was that rare time when he would get a spike in self-esteem and he was certainly enjoying it. Weeks of arguing with Yixing and Suho, he finally picked his own rings.

His heart drummed loudly against his ears. His hands cold from the night breeze but the engravings of her name on his ring were enough to warm his heart.

"Cha Jayoung—"

"Yes."

"Will you—"

"YES."

"—marry me?"

"YES!" Luckily he still hadn't opened the ring box yet because Jayoung's tackle was almost as powerful as a wrestler's.

Under the cherry blossom sky with blooming hearts, they laid on the ground staring at their two rings on their ring fingers and both setting a marriage date while tipsy.

💐

This was one of the happiest moments of her life.

Surely, she no longer had to deal with unnecessary advances, but then again... she didn't look at the part where all the main characters would fall in love with her. She just happened to trap the right man at the right time. That was all.

It felt strange that for most of her life, she spent trying to run away from relationships, but here she was in the arms' of a man she loved most. She used to be terrified that whoever she was going to be with would neglect her needs, her goals, forced her into unwanted positions, and letting her stray from her purpose. She used to be terrified of the prospect that it would deter her from her dream, but really without this man, she didn't think that her dreams were ever possible in the first place.

Once she thought she had married a stranger. Now, this complete stranger was the only other person she knew best like the back of her hand.

There she gently swayed to the music in the embrace of the older man, who used to be shy in his touches, now gazed down towards her, enchanted, his hands strong and his moves precise. This time it wasn't her parents who broke the news to her. Nothing was out of the blue. They took their own time at their own pace.

Now, she had her say in many things. As much as she loved the older man, she couldn't stand the music taste influenced by his mischievous kitten best friend. She had to change that, and obviously, no unwanted guests allowed here, she demanded, and those around her listened. Only with the ones she cared most. The evening breeze was calming against her skin. Her sunbaes and her best friends were here. That was enough. The older man had gotten his brother along with his wife and child and his best friends in of course.

Maybe, they were falling into the trap that their parents had set before them. From the start, they planned to set them up. _But not like this_ , she giggled.

"Jayoung-ah..." even in a whisper, his voice set her heart on fire. Her hand pressed lightly on his chest pocket, feeling the beating of his heart galloping just as quickly as hers. "Something wrong? You need to sit down?"

She remembered wanting so bad to hate this man, but her plans backfired obviously. The worry in his silky voice remained the same. It was so easy to read him. She wasn't sure if he did the same to everyone, but to her, he always wore his heart on his sleeves. And she knew exactly when to rely on him and when he needed help.

The fact that she was wearing sneakers underneath all the layers of the Hanbok and still felt burning all around her feet made her not want to think if she had worn glass slippers. All of her bones would be broken at that point.

He rushed around looking for something for her to drink. Such a huge dork that old man.

A sigh.

Somehow, he looked comfortable in that suit. He used to look so cold and calculated whenever he had the business suit on, but with her in a white and blue Hanbok and contrasting his dark navy suit, he seemed more at ease.

"Here. Drink up," he handed a glass of water. And she smiled in gratitude. Her throat had been dry from all the screaming match she had with Jimin and Hari.

That moment his fingers traced the back of her ear, tucking away the long thin white veil that kind of irritated her when she sipped the water. It was clunky the veil. It was longer than her height dragging so much so that when she walked down the aisle she dragged all the flowers thrown clumsily by everyone with her. To be honest, she thought it was more of a flower fight between the chefs, but she would rather not blow up, turn into a murderous banshee and kick everyone out of her special day.

But now, she was distracted by such a simple action. He had always looked afraid. No matter how confident felt at certain points, there used to be that speck of fear in his eyes. This moment, however, He looked younger, she thought. So much younger with all the worries and stress that was gone from his mind.

"You're handsome..." Jayoung whispered.

"Oh? Oh..." He certainly looked surprised, a chuckle ensued. "Thank you... I mean.."

"Sorry," her hands hold the glass of water closer as she watched him kneeled before her this way.

"About what?" It was so adorable whenever he frowned and raised his brows the moment he was confused.

"That I don't compliment you enough." With one hand free, she traced his hair all gelled up and swiped upward, his forehead still smooth under her fingertips. "I always thought you're handsome from the moment I saw you."

"Old doesn't come to mind?" It was clear that he couldn't take flatteries well and avoided her although his flushed cheeks and bigger smile said otherwise.

"Oh, definitely, I can see your wrinkles as clear as day..."

"Hey! I thought we're on compliments!"

Pretty, pretty chubby cheeks. He seemed to calm down when she caressed his cheeks, leaning into her touch. Those pink lips turned into a content smile. Content with everything he looked. That same expression he held at her when she approached him on the altar. This time, they weren't drawn together by force. They fought through to get here. And it was obvious that without those around them helping, they would've definitely given up on each other. No dreams would have been realized.

"And you're breathtaking yourself."

Spilled water down her lips and his fingers was quick to come close and wiped the droplets away.

"Home?"

She nodded with a soft hum, and attentively he nodded, running off to Chef and of course, the old chef smacked his back a few times before pushing him to her direction.

"Yixing said he'd take care of wrapping things up here. We're good to go." that was the one thing she had always loved about him. He made her feel like she was important. Her words meant something to him.

"Help me up?" she reached out to him with both hands, and of course, it was back again, his reddened cheeks and blinking eyes, but this time, he didn't let her feel embarrassed regardless of his own nervousness. With arms hooked underneath her legs and her back, she felt secured and wrapped her arms around his neck, her face pressed gently in the safe space of his chest.

"Well, aren't you two clunky..." Chef Kai chirped in as they passed by. "You gonna sleep in all that, Yonggu?"

She was just drifting off, but that woke her up. With a groan, she bit back sharply at her mentor "Don't worry. It's not hard to take off."

Maybe, it was her imagination, but it got suddenly quiet, and heard a distinct gulp.

At home, she rose to feel the mattress beneath her. And easily she took off his hanbok and the veil. It was the older man that had a hard time taking off the suit. She let him take his time.

Finally, in her pajamas, she laid quietly waiting for him. And soon, he reappeared with pineapple-pattern pajamas, drawing a giggle out of her, but then again, she had the pineapples too. It was adorable, to say the least.

This time, she didn't have to lead him. He knew where to go. And rightly so, he slipped under the blanket and pulled her close, pressing an angel's kiss on the temple.

"Goodnight, Jayoung-ah."

"Night, hubby."

She mumbled against his chest and he sweetly returned the endearment as she drifted off.

"Night, wifey."

⭐️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry if you had many cringes throughout this story XD I just finished high school when I wrote this. So long before Minseok got to the military. It's crazy that I sort of predicted the skirmish at the DMZ as well. I remembered writing it like almost a year before it happened, then in the news, there was the DMZ thing near where Minseok was deployed like damn... I got chills.
> 
> Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading this far.


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